Now either I’m an intolerant cunt or a shit magnet for crap neighbours, but living in a flat can be a real cunt.
There are many things to cunt about living in a block and i could go on a massive long rant which would probably get binned by Admin but this is one of the most annoying.
I realize that flats are, by their nature, noisier than the average house, which i accept i have to live with. But as with a lot of things today, people can be annoying ignorant twats.
My front door opens into a hall with other front doors, so knowing they are in very close proximity to other people’s space, why is everyone in permanent training for the door slamming olympics? 6 in the morning going out, 2 in the morning coming in and BANG. It’s not hard, i turn the key and pull the door to, then lock it, even during the daytime
As i was about to leave recently, i heard someone coming into the hallway, i heard him talking to the old boy who lives next to the fire doors that he did
not want to slam them so as not to disturb him. The prick then opened his flat and promptly slammed that door shut instead. ????????
A cunt on the floor above makes several increasingly loud attempts to slam their door shut when leaving.
Another cunt took a bag out to the bins once, i heard him slam his front door, barge through the fire doors,
slam the communal entrance door (door closer broken at the time) then repeat on the way back.
All that clattering just to put something in the bin. I bet he’s one of those cunts that likes to fill up the nearest bin so it overflows making it hard to get to the others behind.
What is it with door slamming cunts?
If i had my way, i would turn the cunts into human door frames, see how they fucking like it.
Nominated by Polite Cunt.
People are thick and have the attention span of a gnat. Door closing app anyone. Also, off topic, cunt drivers who cant or wont reverse.
11
Some people just can’t be quiet.
They trundle and crash about like a pissed up rhino.
No consideration for others.
Super glue in his door lock next time.
See how slammy he is after waiting 2hr for a locksmith.
The heavy handed cunt.
Or keep setting off the fire alarms.
See how he functions after missing a nights sleep.
14
There’s someone that likes doing that as well
Morning mnc, morning all
3
I want to be a door slammer.
I’d like to slam Linecunt’s face into a door.
Repeatedly.
14
Hell is other people.
Well, it depends on the people but you know what I meant.
I have a neighbour who can be rather loud at times and rows with his missus. The funniest thing is when he’s online gaming and starts losing and starts ranting and swearing at the other players.
14
He shouts at other players while gaming yet still has a missus?
6
People are cunts, that’s why I try to have as little contact as possible with the whole filthy lot of them.
Door slammers,no indoor voices at 3am, loud car engines,all should be placed in the stocks for 24 hours..
10
Couldn’t you pop some skidded up, wee’d in Primark y-fronts through the offenders’ letter boxes to stink and fester?
Kudos to you for enduring it.
I’d rather live in a coal scuttle before I’d live in flats, presumably next door to immos.
9
Can you post some to me Mr Cunt Engine?
Much obliged
8
You are Huw Edwards and I claim my free drug addict cock pic.
4
I move about like a ninja.
Don’t slam , crash about.
You wouldn’t know I was there Polite Cunt if I was your neighbour.
I might peer through your letterbox occasionally
And steal any deliveries.
But no noise.
I would have a few chip pan fires though I must admit.
They can be noisy.
11
I’ll have to glue the letterbox shut,
was wondering who it was!
5
Blood hell miss, the last chip fan fire down this way was in 1986.
1
Mis can’t cook, he is just saying that to come across as a high quality man..
If he wants chips he just steals them like a seagull, swooping down on unsuspecting victim’s.
4
I feel your pain Pc. It’s the same in hotels and I’ve often wondered why they don’t have some sort of rubber cushion around the door frame to lessen the noise when the idiots pass through. Can’t be that hard can it?
8
Been there. Students above me, students below me (beneath me?), nightmare in Nether Edge (Mr Priest’ll know where I mean). My advise as an expert Agony Aunt: they’ll not change so seek alternative accommodation.
5
They are either inconsiderate cunts or they are doing it on purpose. I live in an 3 story, Victorian town house which is a multiple occupancy share with high cavernous ceilings which carry and amplify sounds and vibrations.
Aside from the attic space above my room, my bed is as far away from the front door as I can be without climbing out of the window and yet whenever tenants slam their own doors or the front door slams (and it slams a lot) the vibrations reverberate up the stairways, through my floor and into my bed.
It would be somewhat understandable if the Landlord hadn’t posted laminated notices with big red letters telling tenants NOT to slam doors. It might be understandable if ALL the door closing arms in the house didn’t work properly but there is one that does close it’s door slowly, silently and unassisted …. and that one is MINE! And yet I still close my door quietly behind me because I’m not a loud, inconsiderate cunt.
Rant over.
13
I do apologise for being off topic, but can ypu believe this shit?
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12421727/BORIS-JOHNSON-Id-strap-Taliban-chairs-Sunday-make-watch-Lionesses-understand-skill-strength-talent-women-possess.html
4
Actually – admin, can you please delete. It is wrong to hijack another cunter’s cunting. I was just so mad. Anyway, depending what happens on Sunday, I will write a separate nom.
4
Others on here are a lot more guilty of hijacking threads.
Ive noticed it happening more and more.
Perhaps Adim could start a different thread like the football and covid threads.
‘In the News,…’ perhaps?
2
What Boris is suggesting seems a little extreme to me, personally I would just carpet bomb the shit hole..
Then do the same to Afghanistan..
3
It’s women v women so the Taliban will dismiss it as meaningless. Is this what they’re paying Johnson millions a year for?
1
Boris Johnson looks like shit in those photos.
Hopefully it’s something terminal.
4
I would be imprisoned for murder inside a month if I had to live in a block of flats. If you are a nice thoughtful polite person it must be hell on earth living with modern entitled me, me, me cunts, loud music, arguments and the door slamming of course, I’m getting fucking aggressive now just thinking about it. living in a caravan behind my mates forge has its advantages but one time 2 of his employees wouldn’t keep the radio at a reasonable volume despite my polite-ish requests, after 3rd time of asking I walked in picked up a sledgehammer and turned it down permanently look on their faces was a treat.
9
Some people are too stupid or selfish to understand anything other than a bit of ‘direct action’.
3
Like it!
3
It’s amazing how many people can’t use a door or gate properly.
I’m not sure what is so confusing about it?
If it has a sign in big letters saying ‘PUSH’
Then odds are it opens inward.
Similarly if it says “PULL’ then chances are it opens outward.
Okay, now slightly trickier,
If a gate is latched from inside and has a chain on it,
Then maybe the occupants don’t want you coming into the back garden?
So, maybe it’s best to go to the front door where there’s a Ring® doorbell and you can talk to them even if they aren’t at home.
Rather than yanking with all your strength on the back gate splintering a very expensive gate rendering it useless and upsetting the owner?
Just a idea.
3
How many different dialects was the push and pull sign in?
And I bet you didn’t either bother to find out if the delivery man could even read..
Hand your head in shame you monster.
1
Morning all.
Goiod nom PC.
So fucking annoying these people.
Got two teachers living next door to me, no common sense whatsoever, in and out of the house every two minutes – SLAM! Cunts.
Also car door slammers and wheelie bin lid slammers are absolute cunts in the early hours.
7
I’m surrounded by noise, dolby digital from hell
People always outside talking on phones
screeching kids, one squeals like a stuck pig all day, what the hell?
Couples arguing, even outside
Even the block over the fence is full of noisy cunts as well
5
You poor fecker, it must be unbearable. I would rather live in a tent in the woods, people are fucking vile.
5
Never lived in a proper house
Would love a house with a nice long front garden, keeps the riff raff at bay.
3
Cunts like this are thick as pig shit,heavy handed braying arseholes.
As suggested by The Bearded Ninja above,glue their fucking locks up in the middle of the night.
Then sit back with a nice brandy.
4
A fine cunting, Mr Polite.
Door slamming across the way from us is merely the prelude to a late night tooing and frowning of obscenities and occasional, random, violence. Slam, slam, slam. ‘Fuck off, cunt.’ ‘No you fuck off you whore.’ ‘No, you fuck off and don’t come in my fucking house again you peeedooo wanker.’ ‘Why would I come in you house you dirty cunt. Fuck off and take all your little bastards with you.’ Cue screaming by said bastards. And so on. And on. Then, eventually. slam, slam, slam slam. Occasional visits by plod merely lead to repeats of door slammings and expletives.
I blame ‘Eastenders’, and the buy to let market combined with the bennies culture. They are bleeding scabs on the arse of society. Of course, in the eyes of the local authority the cunts are ‘vulnerable’ and ‘on the spectrum’!
Good morning, everyone.
10
Don’t forget sooties TTL, they love a good load of shouting, followed by stabbing/shooting.
Chimping out, I believe it’s called
6
As a consultant noggerologist the term “chimp out” applies only to situations where a single yard ape is displaying T.N.B. such as ooking, crotch grabbing, ‘muh dicking’ and so forth, if more than one is involved then the correct collective term is a “bongo party”.
0
Jesus that sounds like a nightmare twenty.
Wish I was omnipotent like that ‘Q’ from star trek, the fun I could have.
3
Oddly enough, we had exactly the same thing right across the road from where we live. I don’t know if the bloke changed partners or something but it’s been considerably quieter these last few years.
0
I appreciate this cunting, having lived in shared accomodation and a lot mates who still do.
It doesnt seem to matter if it’s student digs at Brunel University or the student village in leafy Winchester, their is always some deranged cunt trying to kick the door in.
Strangely, out of 4 girls i know who started their degrees in London universities, all had to drop out because they felt in danger walking home and even in halls.
One of my mates was lucky enough to find a fat where each door to it had a ‘soft close’ with just a queef of air, and one flat per floor. unfortunately the main entrance was a heavy door with key code and used to bang shut.
4
*there
0
I have a Primary/Junior school at the end of my garden. There are days I can’t hear the radio above the shouting/screaming/squealing and I genuinely feel like going round and machine gunning the fucking lot of them.
7
Sell up to an old biddy who loves the sound if kids playing, like my nan.
4
Sadly we rent. We can’t move either as we’re getting a great deal on the rent because we’re great tenants. I reckon the landlord could get another £200 a month on the open market.
1
Maybe the mysterious woman involved in the Wimbledon crash had the same problem as you Moggie.
4
Screaming kids must be the most annoying noise on the planet.
What happened to the days of seen but not heard
3
I’ve lived in a block of flats and I’ve been disturbed by every noise imaginable. After I’d moved in I got myself a new hi-fi set-up and I deliberately chose not to buy speakers because I knew it wasn’t right to inflict my music on the neighbours. I listened to it through headphones instead. It would have been wonderful to have received the same kind of consideration from them. It’s not just that they’re thoughtless, a lot of the time these people simply want to make their presence felt, so that’s what they do. Talking to them doesn’t work. I tried it. There’s only one thing that works and that’s to put distance between them and you. And as soon as I could afford it, that’s what I did.
6
I have hifi and surround sound in the same room, don’t often listen with the speakers for hifi, i also use headphones a lot.
The surround is more discreet, unless Godzilla’s stomping King Kong.
Most of us seem to be from the same generation, must have something to do with it.
Some cunt just slammed their door as i’m typing.
0
Add mobile boom boxes (deaf people in cars) to the list, one of my neighbours, female teacher, must have shit hearing judging by the volume of the car radio
3
Yep
And it’s always, always the most shit music inflicted on the public, especially in Summer. ☹️
1
Oh, I forgot those cunts on speakerphone.
0
Door slammers are by nature just annoying cunts PC.
We live in a detached house, yet our neighbour still slams his door so hard that it rattles our windows. Same with cunts in the road who smash their car doors shut.
A particularly loathsome sub species are hotel door slammers, who then talk as tho they’re using a megaphone as they walk along the corridor. Arseholes.
Morning all.
9
My next door neighbours are hard work.
He’s a fairly recently retired fella with OCD who basically sits and moans like holy hell at his Mrs day and night.
Usually with the windows or doors open so everybody within a mile vicinity can hear him.
His Mrs is one of the heaviest handed, numb in the head twats you could ever imagine.
She slams doors, the front and back gates and even has a knack of making the the water pipes slam loudly when she yanks the taps on and off. Usually at some ungodly hour of the morning.
I’m just glad that I go to work and avoid the anti social cunts for the main part of the day.
6
Up until last year the noise from the block to the side of me was unbelievable.
The fence is just 10 feet from my block and a half dozen youngsters would spend evenings, weekends and holiday’s screaming the place down.
Screaming, screeching, squealing shouting hollering and crying. It was un-fucking-believable
I think they got evicted as there was a notice on the board with a number to ring to complain about the noise, saw the flat was empty
Never see the fucking parents, who should
get the cunting for it.
Still plenty of other noisy feckers. Don’t parents tell their brats to shut the fuck up any more?
4
I live in a terraced house, and fuck me the door slamming on one side of the house has me braced whenever I hear them walking down their corridor to go out.
Slam, didn’t close properly because it leapt out the lock fitting with the velocity, so double slam. Then 10 seconds later they come back, forgotten something, slam slam slam.
Their 2 kids are home from uni, so they are in and out at all hours, slam slam slam.
I am tempted to knock the door and ask in my polite way if they could close the doors quietly. But they may kick off, so I shall hang on until the kids go back to their “studies”, and hope it quietens down.
All part of modern selfish society of course. Me me me.
In fact as I write this I can hear them all shouting and bawling at each other next door. Pubs open in 10 mins, I may retreat there for peace and quiet!
4
Until some selfish cunts turn up with their kids who will proceed to scream, shout and run around in circles tearing the place up while the “parents” do fuck all.
If you want peace and quiet, you may as well go out into the middle of the countryside and pitch a fucking tent.
1
I lived in digs when younger and one particular place didn’t have a single door to all rooms, including the bog, but obviously a front door. Turned out that the owners family in a previous life were burnt to death whilst he was at work.
I now live in a house by myself. The only doors I leave closed are the front and back. I’ve no need to open and close doors when having a shit, a bath, cooking and wanking.
3
I’ve also had to put up with everything mentioned with inconsiderate neighbour’s. I put notes under doors, turned my speakers to the wall with loud music and stuck in the groove with repetitive sounds whilst wearing earplugs and going to bed for a comfortable nights sleep. Even left all that racket blasting out and going out for the day. Even when families leave their kids making a noise, I’ve gone out and left them to be entertained by Derek and Clive and hopefully ruining their childhood forever.
3
I knew I couldn’t be the only one. Although in my time I’ve managed to escape from some pretty dire next-door/upstairs neighbours (touch wood), cunts who park rheir cars outside my window continue to boil my piss. Who knew a Fiesta had a dozen doors? Come round some evening and you can hear them for yourself as cuntie and family get in. slam, forget something at home, get out, slam, get back…
Best appreciated when it’s a bit warm and I have to have the windows open.
As are diesels left running while driver has lunch and a phone conversation – on speaker phone, max watts – and twatpanzer next door. Poor sod can’t get it right though. He starts it and drives off the second it catches, and I want to phone the Society for Kindness to Engines, but the fucker’s loud and rattly and if he warmed it up properly I’d loathe him even more.
Does anyone have a life I can borrow?
3
People who have left this world, should be allowed to auction off their lives, rather than leave things in wills to ungrateful families.
1
This nom seems to have touched a nerve with many on here.
I would say it’s nice to know i’m not alone but i don’t wish noisy bastards on anyone, there’s no doubt some have it worse than me.
Funny thing is i worked in a foundry for several years and then spent a decade operating loud machinery with all kinds of banging and clattering and a pneumatic compressor going on and off all day. you’d think i’d be used to a racket.
I think it’s the randomness and loudness of sudden noise that irritates over sustained time, invasion of your personal space.
I was at Heathrow this morning, wonder what that’s like all day.
Could be worse, only thing i hate more is sharing space with noisy eaters and drinkers, truly my idea of hell.
5
Good points, CP. I hate bastards who smack their lips or speak with their mouths full.
0
Agree with this nom 100%.
There used to be noisy Italians in the flat next door who would constantly slam their front door at all hours. I spoke to them about it and they apologised but carried on doing it. I then complained to the management company of the block who told me to keep a log of all the incidents and then they would take action, but advised it would be my word against the cunts next door. I sarcastically asked block management whether that meant I had to sit by my front door with a tape recorder or keep an actual log book with every door slam timed and dated. The cunt neighbours eventually moved out, so not so bad now, although the fire door which is right on the other side of my lounge wall, has been adjusted so that it slams shut. I’ve had to stick pieces of thick foam on the door frame to try and deaden it.
Also can’t stand the noisy cunts in my office building who slam the bog doors shut and car door slammers.
1