For decades now, our telephone network has been using analogue communications, which was fine its day but BT has decided it’s old hat and needs to be replaced by something called Digital Voice.
Basically, BT will be switching off the analogue network (Public Switched Telephone Network – PSTN) by the end of 2025 and moving everyone across to their new digital network – Digital Voice.
The rollout has been ongoing for the last 2 or 3 years beginning with the big cities and towns, followed by the carrot crunchers out in the sticks. This project has been backed by the government, who want to see the telecoms network up to date and in-line with other EU countries by 2026.
Essentially, Digital Voice (DV), will mean plugging your landline phone into your broadband router rather than your telephone socket. And from that point on you will be phoning people via what is known as Voice over IP (or Voip, for short).
This voip technology is not new as it is already in use via computer apps such as Skype and WhatsApp. However, if you have an old landline phone or router, it may not be compatible with Digital Voice, which may mean you having to buy a new phone and/or router!
BT is contacting its customers informing them that they will be moved over to DV in the next few months, and that they don’t have to do anything. However, you can refuse to be migrated across, although the downside is that come 2026 your landline phone will no longer work as the PSTN will be switched off by then.
Another problem with DV is that if there’s a power outage and there’s no electric to your home, you won’t be able to use your landline phone, especially for 999 emergencies.
Moreover, just because your landline phone will be integrated with your broadband, you will still have to pay a line rental bill, even though there is no line rental!
It also assumes that people actually have broadband, and that they have a mobile phone in case they need to make a 999 call should there be a power outage as mentioned earlier.
BT do offer online support for these issues, but if there’s a power outage and no internet, how the fuck can you get in contact with them, especially if you have no 4G signal!
Digital Voice, is basically a nice idea on paper, but a bag of bollocks in reality. But there’s sod all you can do to ignore it come 2026.
Nominated by : Technocunt
Most of this techno is beyond me. But the fucking “say in a few words “ message you get when you try a ring some company up gas electric holiday doctor tax office is a total waste of time and a major cunt
13
Why do we have to keep saying “In a few words”.
10
Probably because ‘a few words’ is all the Indian call centre workers understand in English.
13
I keep explaining to Sly not to send my call through to India, that they’d be wasting their time. They don’t understand the colloquialism of the English language.
4
This is just the kind of thing that epitomises the incompetent management and ideas coming out of companies today, whatever their line of business.
Nothing is carefully planned and thought through anymore. As long as the sums appear to add up and everything looks good on paper, it will invariably be approved and rushed through without a second thought.
Total cunts without a clue get to make all the top decisions, often with disastrous results. A fucking university degree is no substitute for long experience!
17
Good point, the main reason for this is to reduce costs, get rid of a load of workers and that’s about it.
11
No posts yet Techno, I think because it’s fait accompli. If you don’t like it tough shit.
5
I was a bit slow there but the posts above make my point I think.
3
Seeing as we do not have BT as a service, Busby can stick his telegraph poles and his network up his arse. Along with the cunts in Westminster. Mind you some of the MP’s may like that.
6
May? I’d bet on it.
5
Tis rumoured that a man is more likely to be touched up in the corridors of power than a Brighton gay bar on a Friday night.
5
Phoning 999?
Well that seems a waste of time.
Have you been misgendered? A police car is on its way.
Heart attack? Sorry we are busy caring for dinghy rats..
House on fire? Sorry all our engines are at a asylum centre that is on fire. Self infected no Netflix apparently.
18
Inflicted..though I imagine most of the cunts there are infected.
8
I haven’t had a land line phone for about 15 years, but I agree moving into the digital age doesn’t suit everyone. Well fuck them 😂
3
BT are one of the worst companies in the UK despite some very strong competition.
Their broadband “deals” are full of crafty bullshit to empty the unwary customers bank account,as my elderly parents found out.
Anyhow fuck the silly cunts..the best thing I ever did regarding the landlines was to remove it.
No more “Edward” ringing from Calcutta now.
The Cunts.
11
I rang them in 2007 from a phone box because my landline was really playing up. The Indian cunt who took my call spent the whole time trying to sell me broadband. I asked him how the fuck he thought broadband was working on a fucked phone line and he hung up. That was the end of BT for me.
7
Virgin are cunts. For a landline they will give you a dead man’s number.
When my mum went with Virgin, they did this. For years she got calls asking for a ‘Francis Howard’ (Oooh! Please yourselves!). It wasn’t the funnyman Frankie, but it was a long dead bloke. Virgin just take a ‘discontinued’ number and lumber it on somebody else. Branson is such a cunt. Never trust a hippy.
18
When I retired Norman I lost the works phone and got one of my own. On my new personal number I get calls most days, sometimes twice a day from the Chinese embassy. First sentence announces who they are in English. They then go into a lengthy rant in Chinky. I don’t know a word of Chinky but it’s plain that the message is threatening and meant to intimidate. If I don’t answer they leave a voicemail in the same threatening tone.
9
That’s just a takeaway order arfur.
One shrimp chow mein, two rice, don’t forget the prawn crackers.
Chop chop.
7
The Chinese version of um umming and erring is to say ‘Nnneeyy.. gaa..’
Let the wokies soak that up.
4
I’m fairly sure they all do this. I once got the number of a long closed pizzeria but still got the occasional call for them.
5
Anybody who is a big enough cunt to use the term ‘future-proof’ should be denied a future. Same goes for the pricks who can’t say ‘yes’ but have no trouble with ‘absolutely’. What a fucking shower of pretentious cunts they are.
13
Indeed.
1
I used the PTSN once.
I rang the operator:
Are you the operator of telephones? I asked.
“Yes,” she replied, “which town do you require?”
I want to make a London calI, I want to ring up Frowner, Tom Frowner.
“Is he in the book?”
I contemplated her words carefully.
I don’t know. I ain’t never rung up Tom Frowner before. He’s a juggler.
“Alright,” she said, “I’ll look under jugglers.”
So she looked under jugglers till she found Tom Frowner in jugglers. She gave me his name, address and number.
I dialled the number she gave me.
I wanted this fucker for my juggling show on Saturday night.
When he answered he was most aggrieved,
Said his privacy had been invaded by the operator.
I said: Hello Tom, Mr Frowner. I want you to be a juggler in my show on Saturday night.
A long silence followed…
Then totally out of the blue he said:
“Okay, how much does it pay, how much are you going to pay me for this?”
I said, oh Tom – you don’t have to worry about all that.
I’ll give you some new things to juggle with and a bird to play with on the stage.
Is that good enough, eh?
A little bird you can play with on the stage, eh Tom?
I could hear him breathing heavily on the other end.
“Oh yeah, I’ll play with a bird on the stage,” he eventually spluttered.
At which point I slammed the receiver down in his face
And I’ve not heard hide nor hair of him since.
Good evening.
6
?
20
LOL!
Glad to see my time working for Confuse A Cat Ltd was not entirely wasted.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tsIxNci_dE
2
Is there any point retaining a land line phone if it all goes via the broadband and won’t work in a power cut?
7
I recently received notification from BT about Digital Voice and thought, what do I do if my hub stops working? I’ve had internet connection problems on and off over the last two years and they’ve had to send a technician to my house on several occasions. If my hub stops working again, as seems likely, that means I’ve no internet and no phone either. How am I supposed to inform them I need help? Contained within their email, they provide the answer, and I quote:
“You could still use a mobile, which you should always keep charged.”
So I may as well give up, junk my expensive landline / answer machine, buy a mobile and have done with it. Considering all the companies and organizations that wouldn’t accept my landline number when I tried to sign up with them, I suppose it means I’ll have to bow to the inevitable. The bastards.
8
Yup.Now everyone gets an equal dose of EMP brain damaging nasties from 5/6G towers.Something good old copper wiring to a landline dodges.
4
Where’s your evidence 5G damages the brain?
4
Useless tossers
3
When everyone connects their electric cars to the grid in 2030 it will trip the fuse board.
Gonna need a 32 amp breaker
5
I was brought up to believe that the successful business found out what existing and potential customers were seeking and then developed products and services to meet those needs and wants of customers.
Boy, was I wrong!
8
Not your fault.
It were the people who brought you up that were wrong.
Don’t be so hard on yourself.
6
Ah, you’re talking about successful businesses, not British ones.
6
It was once, now they cater to people who are confused about what’s in their underpants.
It’s a slippery slope.
5
ESG cash. num-num-num.
0
I can’t accept this as a cunt to be honest
Landline? Do you have a Spinning Jenny to hand as well?
2
I have some wheels at home.
1
This stuff is straight over my head most of the time.
I’m basically a pen and paper man myself.
3
Ink and quill? Or have you moved onto ballpoint.
2
Really had not thought Ron was that advanced. Sooty handprints inside a cave surely.
7
Paper? What’s wrong with a clay tablet and a stylus…
2
Bugger me I have been on the voip since the 90s. Not even on my broadband. I piggy back off my neighbours. Call quality can be a problem. Sometimes sounds like its coming from the bottom of the sea with all sorts of weird artifacts or calls drop out. Will it be available over landlines still or just wirelessly?
Whatever happens bandwidth will be one hell of a problem. Not enough capacity available now in my area particularly if cunt gamers are using up all the bandwidth. Trying to stream my 4k porno is difficult enough without it getting all mixed up with crazy old biddy cunts on the natter about their gone missing Amazon deliveries.
Predict Voip meltdown.
5
Incidentally to give me landline status for bank loans and such my Voip service offers a virtual landline which can be selected from cities most places in the world.
1
Since we are going to have a 5g transmitter every few feet it shouldn’t be a problem, they will pretty much monitor everything you do and start taxing farts within a decade.
Some cunt wrote an article to persuade us we ought to start putting old folk down as they are a burden. Assisted suicide will be the preferred treatment soon as it’s far becoming in Canada.
Once you get your 25 minute area classification you won’t be worrying about the ability to call anyone because you’ll not dare say a fucking word in case it costs you another fine and another month of powdered locust soup.
Covid is about to magically become the Black Death this autumn so all in all BT can shove their piss poor network up their (‘buzz’ You have been fined 100 credits, please plug into your citizen network point for an ass kicking’) smelly scum infested data points!
10
“Digital Voice, is basically a nice idea on paper, but a bag of bollocks in reality”
Bit like EVs!!
Except in reality even the idea of EVs is a bag of bollocks …
2
Another problem with DV that I forgot to mention in my nom, is that having everything in one basket – ie broadband, is that it makes you even more susceptible to be hacked primarily because Digital Voice isn’t fully secure with end-to-end encryption.
This means you may have to an anti-virus/malware app on all your devices that come off your router, including the router itself just for that extra layer of protection.
You might also end up with far more cold callers as BT could well sell your PI to the highest 3rd party bidder (a far easier task compared to trying to flog your details on analogue landline).
1
I used my landline for the 1st time in about 15 years recently, my mobile was playing hide and seek. Lucky Star Chinese in Sheffield. 3/5.
£1.75 to Sky for a local call, absolute robbing bastard face cunts.
1