In summary, the Ashes cricket tests are named this way due to the Aussies taking the piss out of the England cricket team in 1882. They had beaten us in England and taken out a newspaper obituary advert slot, claiming that English cricket had died and its ashes put into an urn.
The two (men’s of course) teams play for this urn, usually every two years.
But now we have the wimminz ashes.
The history of the ashes has fuck all to do with some shitty, Johnny come lately lezza cricket.
Indeed, Sky had an advert for the Ashes recently. In this advert, some blokes are boarding up the commentary boxes and other high vantage points. The groundsman asks, “Excuse me. What are you doing?” The workers reply, “England are playing!” They are then told to ‘Crack on then!”
For the uninitiated, England have a new look team, which attack and hit a lot of boundaries, given the nickname ‘Baz ball’ after their new coach.
The advert then shows clips of the team smacking the ball out of the park.
Fair enough…but wait. It shows some split arses hitting the ball too.
The women’s team are not playing ‘Baz ball’. They fucking can’t!
The Ashes is about the men’s test teams of Australia and England.
It has fuck all to do with butch lezza cricket.
Get to fuck.
Nominated by Cuntybollocks.
I made a similar observation when I noted the Brazil women’s team playing once with 5 stars on their shirts to represent the 5 World Cup wins they’ve had .
Well that the men have had .
Always annoys me when I hear a bird say I play for Barcelona.
No, you don’t , don’t try to piggy back of people like Messi, Xavi, Iniesta etc
Your team has won fuck all. It’s just the name that is the same
16
Well said CB.
I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve been tricked by some news cunts into starting to read some headline about the days play only to find out its about some laughable fucking wimmins pretend Ashes.
Ban the hopeless fraudsters.
Oh and coverage of these ridiculous charades should be completely outlawed.
Cunts.
17
And then they’ll say there is lots of interest : just look how many people blocked the link!
5
The metrics are all about how many people click on a link and doesn’t take into account how many close the page within 5 seconds when they discover they’ve been duped.
9
I was tricked the other day too. West Indies v Ireland ODI BT Sport said.
It was a split arse game when I put it on. Cheeky robbing cunts. I did feel like I’d been tricked and my pocket pinched, even though I don’t need to pay for it.
Btw, some women’s sports are great. Women’s athletics is just as good as the men’s for me.
Team sports don’t seem to work as well for women, apart from hockey and beach volleyball for some reason.
Women’s cricket is poor.
Women’s football and rugby is the pits of hell.
9
i can watch women play tennis, and badminton, and volleyball…
Anything where buttocks need to be of a size and quality to propel the athlete into the air or lunge. I like the buttocks and legs of female sprinters
It’s just a shame that large breasts are anathema to women’s sports.
Netball and long distance running are for the shapeless Gertrudes and I can’t be fucked with that.
0
Also noted that the BBC have a story that Djokovic can match history at Wimbledon if he wins .
Match history I thought ? Who has won more GS than him?
Oh apparently they mean Margaret Court 😂
Someone who would barely win a point if she played in the men’s game
11
I`m a girlie, hence I do not know the meaning of a classic forward defensive stroke, but I do know that gentlemen wear “boxes” in this game to protect their “jewels”.
Do lady players wear similar devices to shield their “puppies` noses”, I wonder? I`m guessing that the deliveries would not have the strength to reach those assets; and such assets would, I think, tend to be rather on the flatter side.
And as for the cricketesses, on hot days, I suspect there may be excessive moisture build-up in the gulleys & creases – especially at “deep third woman”.
Owzat?
10
In the ladies game does the fielder at fine leg wear sexy shorts 👍
3
The women’s equivalent of the box is called (with no irony) the manhole cover.
1
Conflating Mens and Womens sport should be a hate crime.
6
Silly Mid ON = I’m having my period.
7
Can’t find a fuck to give about cricket, women’s cricket doesn’t even register. If no woman played cricket ever again there would be very few people who gave a fuck. The Iran ladies cricket team look like fucking skittles.
11
Put the radio on this afternoon and it’s women’s cricket with a female commentator. Christ. Turned it to radio 4 and it’s fucking Women’s Hour. For fuck’s sake. What gets me is their attitude, like we’re supposed to want to listen to this. Why the fuck would we want to?
14
Radio 4 = Women chuntering about women and the first world issues they face (breastfeeding outside Waitrose).
Radio 2 = Helen Thomas’ Hen Party for the Karens.
Radio 1 = Chav shite.
1
Even Radio 3 is now woke. I had it on around Christmas time and all they could go on about was the conductor of the orchestra being black and how great it was that he was black.
3
The BBC want BBC.
1
For the ladies game, boundaries have to be brought in because a leg glance wouldn’t reach a gentleman’s eye if the fridge and cooker are too close together.
2
Women most definitely have a role to play in cricket.
Making the tea and sandwiches.
11
Cucumber sandwiches, GT – it`s the Law.
Unless you fancy a bit of fish paste?
5
Not too fussed about the filling Sam, but we do ask the ladies to make dainty finger sandwiches for us at the Whippet Inn Cricket Club. They always join us for tea between innings as they’re all rather partial to a finger.
7
Off topic, but I see LIverpool FC are considering applying for a standing section at Anfield.
I can see that going well. The ‘next generation’ (it’s like a fucking family business) of Hillsborough ‘campaigners’ will be onto that like Tom Daley on a knob. It will be the next chapter in the ‘closure’ and compensation story.
15
we lost two tests already?
1
What do we expect, when the criminals are playing first class cricket and we are playing T20 Blast.
2
Lost the first… probably going to lose the second. Might cunt ‘Bazball’ but I quite like it.
We’ve looked great until now. It the Ashes. It really matters.
And we’re getting raped so far.
I’ll reserve my cunting for now though.
3
But got to say.
Nathan Lyon is a legend for coming out to bat with a torn calf. Looked like grade 2 at best. Possibly a grade 3 tear.
I’ve had the same injury (grade 3…I think his is the same by the looks of it. He looked pale as fuck and looked like he was trying not to puke with the pain when he put his weight on it.)
Fucking legend convict cunt.
6
She was only the batman’s daughter.
But she’d take a full toss in the crease.
6
Yes, there should be a return to batsmen. Batter is what emerges from over creased trousers.
3
Why don’t wimmin just fuck off out of proper sport? They are quite simply not wanted and hated by true followers of cricket, rugby, football and anything else apart from tennis (and they fuck that up as well).
Any cunt who says they are all for womens cricket, football, rugby etc is a virtue signaling liar. Only lecherous ugly dykes and the insane enjoy watching that shite. Because nobody else does.
17
The women should stick to playing rounders and netball, like the yanks.
2
I bet Clare Balding is hovering like a fly over a turd although with Wimbledon next week she might be stretched a little thin over which locker room…sorry ..sport to cover.
8
And running like Penguins
3
It had that amateurshness feel to it when Rachael Heyhoe Flint was around.
3
Sorry, pardon me,
Rachael Heyhoe Flint, Baroness Heyhoe Flint, OBE, DL.
0
Showing your age there Miles
1
I digress,
The two most annoying things of late, the brown hatters and JSO are cancelling each other out on their slow, slow, quick quick, slow marches.
5
No shiny shites awarded.I prefer to watch grass grow😁
2
But it’s fascinating watching grass grow. I get down on my knees on the lawn to really study it closely.
3
I prefer to hear it grow.
1
Edgar, I have a pet brick that’s more entertaining than women playing rugby, cricket or football.
5
You can’t go wrong with a pet brick. Potatoes die far too quickly.
3
Presenter: Now for the first time on television ‘Interesting People’ brings you a man who claims he can send bricks to sleep by hypnosis. Mr Keith Maniac from Guatemala.
Maniac: Good evening.
Presenter: Keith, you claim you can send bricks to sleep.
Maniac: Yes, that is correct, I can.
Presenter: Entirely by hypnosis?
Maniac: Yes, I use no artificial means, whatsoever. I simply stare at the brick and it goes to sleep.
Presenter: Well, we have a brick here, Keith. Perhaps you can send it to sleep for us?
Maniac: Oh, Ah, well, I am afraid that it’s already asleep.
Presenter: How do you know?
Maniac: Well, it’s not moving.
6
😂😂😂
3
BBC2 have shifted the 7pm Ashes highlights to 11.50pm to make way for the splitarse rubbish.
The fucking cunts.
9
Fuckin’ too right Geordie, rushed around like a twat getting dinner done and dusted so I could sit down with a mug o’ hot brown and a combustible to catch up on what sounded like a goggling good day’s action and … wimminzes??? … and then I have to wait until 10 to bastard 12??? … now that’s cuntery right there for you.
7
No tits on show, so nul point in it
3
If W G Grace was around now and witnessed the women playing I can imagine him whispering to himself;
‘the death of English cricket’.
5
Why so?
3
Big problem comes when some half way decent player decides to go trannie and starts smashing the ball out of the ground six times every over. What are the BBC wokies going to do about that?
8
Bring it on!
2
The accelerationist in me says “yes, this must happen”. in fact fully integrate wimmin into mens teams and let’s see how they handle 6ft 7″ pace bowler firing down 90mph bouncers. Someone is gonna get killed. What does a female ‘fast’ bowler achieve? 60? 70mph? pffft
2
I do understand the old ‘cricket is boring’ shite.
I said the same thing until my late 20s.
But one day, I was ill. Only time I’ve ever been ill really. Only lasted a week, but I ended up in bed for most of the week. Ashes was on. Mrs had put the telly on Sky Sports for me as she went to work.
I wanted to watch a footy replay from the previous night that I’d missed. It was followed by live Ashes cricket. I hated cricket. Especially test cricket. Boring as fuck, right?
Well, the Mrs had put the remote out of my reach and I was feeling too weak to get up and get it to turn it off. I ended up watching it.
By the end of that day, I was into cricket. Heavily.
Don’t know what you’re missing.
5
Good job it wasn’t re runs of Michael Barrymore on the telly……you might have caught the gayness. Awight!
9
Lol
1
Bernard Manning said he phoned Michael Barrymore once but it was picked up by Cliff Richard.
2
Off piste but news in that the Pride march in London, today, has been disrupted by Just Stop Oil. 😃
14
Oil in vaseline.
JSO are on a mission to be hated by everyone it seems.
The gays need vaseline like we need water.
7
Indeed, Paul.
The police ragged them off the road.
God forbid that the parade should be stopped by a bunch of nutters.
Oh, wait…
11
Not Stop Oil want driving slowly over in a steamroller
4
Whatever happened to those Insulate Britain wankers? Obviously Just Stop Oil pay more. Those WEF bastards have got deep pockets……mostly full of our money.
9
Emma Freud ointment is oil based.
Stop that and these pencil necked cunts would have hoardes of arse grape sufferers hunting them down.
2
They can have their own 141 year old tradition.
1
Wimminz cricketers are second only to wimminz commentators who themselves can’t tell the difference between an over and an ovary.
Same applies to footie too with their underlapping fullbacks and questions like “How many are there in the back four?
5
Very boring….😴
3
I’m largely on board with this cunting, but my view is tempered by the fact that there are some very nice tight little bottoms on display…
3
If the women can claim they are playing Ashes cricket. We men with hairy bollocks and arse cracks can don knickers and big girls blouses tomorrow and be proud to say we are Netball champions, for what good it would do. Only to make a mockery of common sense.
2
They’re piggybacking the traditional men’s game and purloining the name. It should be called the Gashes instead. We is winning though, twicely and that’s sweet.
9
Pissed myself. Renaming it the Gashes is a cracker.
6
A game takes a week.
There are meal breaks.
Only 2 people are doing anything at any one time.
It is then a draw.
I couldnt give a fuck if the Izzard trannie 11 are playing.
3
We do it to keep the yanks off the scent.
1