Idris Elba,

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is a cunt, isn’t he?

What can you do if you’re too old, too boring, and too untalented to play James Bond.

Claim, “wayy-ciistm”.

The name’s Dull. Terribly dull. Licensed to play the race card.

Stick to shitty adverts for Sky, you chippy, Jack-of-no-trades cunt.

Guardian

Nominated by Captain Magnanimous.

85 thoughts on “Idris Elba,”

  1. Good grief. The Guardian giving a platform to some rich cunt crying about raaaaaaaay-sism.
    Who would have thought it?

  2. Hes like that other mirror kisser Anthony Joshua,
    Absolutely loves himself.

    Tell you who he should play if he wants to play a white man,
    Jacob Rees mogg.

    Because he’s boring as fuck too.

  3. I personally don’t give a toss about bond anymore..
    That last movie completely killed off my love for the films, you killed bond so let him stay dead.

    The so called writers turned him into a pathetic whiney cuck, who was more worried about hurt feelings than snapping a bad guys neck.

    And I look forward to the reboot of shaft starring Steve Buscemi..

    • Quite agree – 007 was a black woman and the whole thing was a woke fest.

      They might as well make Bond a black, bi-sexual transvestite surrounded by a 100% black cast in the next film to try and attract a new type of audience because the old one is going to drop the franchise like a ton of bricks whatever they do. Go woke go broke you cunts!

  4. Sorry Iris, you only tick one box. It’s not enough.
    Give the job to Suzy Izzard.

  5. Eeuurrgghhh, Cap…you made me click on the Guardian. 🤮
    Do I have to move Brighton now?
    Elba eh? What a total non-entity. He has no star power whatsoever, not that Daniel Craig was a particulatly good Bond, the sour-faced miseryguts.
    At least he got to have his end away with a dying Judi Dench at the end of the director’s cut of Skyfall.
    Barbara Broccoli knows full-well that having a sootıe play Bond will not make the big bucks, especially as the tide is finally turning. People are rejecting race-swapped nonsense and Hollywood, due to the writers’ and actors’ guild strikes is hopefully going to implode as fully as a poorly-designed submercible.
    Lashana Lynch in the last 007 was appalling and ugly as fuck too.
    No Ursula Andress, her. More a younger Doreen Lawrence.
    Who the fuck do these uppity nıg-nogs think they are, thinking they can usurp the white man’s intellectual property?
    Fuck off back to Wakanda, Idris.

  6. I must be completely out of touch because I didn’t know any of the cunts they mentioned other than Monsieur Elba.

    When I think of James Bond I do not think of Nandi M’Butu…Ahnad Habbi…Rashneesh Patel or his brother Gupti Patel.

    I think of guys like Jock McPherson…Euen McTavish or even Desmond Lloyd.

    What nobody wants to talk about is the real reason Idris won’t get the role…he can’t count to 7…the 00 thing screws him up every time.

    • Maybe Q could make some gadgets that velcro to his head?

      Idris’s biggest fan is Idris.
      He’s got his posters all over his bedroom wall.

      Koonraker

  8. He got the Elba didn’t he, not cause he’s black but because he just isn’t Idrisenting
    The name is “Done by, Hard Done by” just doesn’t do it for me.

  9. So this cunt thinks that he deserves the part of James Bond but didn’t get it because he is black.

    Does he ever watch the television?

    There is a massive over representation of black people in everything.

    I wonder what his views are about Oprah Winfrey.
    Her production company uses almost exclusively black actors in every role, but of course that’s not in the slightest racist.

    The cunt ought to stick to his TV ads……

    “Grandma’s loving it”.

    • They all do it. I recall that mincing heap of chocolate jelly, Sol ‘Camp’bell whinging that he’d never be England manager cos he bur-lack

  10. Never been into Bond.

    They should’ve made him much more racist, sexist and violent to get me hooked. A sort of cross between The Yorkshire Ripper, Mark Collett and Rambo.

    Now, isn’t Bond a black bird or dead tranny or summat? Bond girls are fat moonpigs now I heard.

    What’s the fucking point?

    What sort of cunt will pay to see that shite over and over again?

    Hollywood can promote all this bollocks as much as they want. People don’t want it.

    And it’ll ruin them.

    Good. Fucking pricks.

    And strikes? However will we cope?

    COVID lockdowns?
    ‘Cost of living crisis’ (otherwise known as being fucking ripped off to fuck)?
    Unlimited illegal immigration at our expense?

    Fuck all when compared to some woke pricks who ‘extra’ in a few films no cunt watches taking away their ‘labour’.

    Get to fuck and good morning.

    • Like you CB, I’ve never been into Bond.

      Swans about in a tuxedo like a fuckin waiter,
      Drinks cocktails like a puff,
      Drives sportscars (hey! Look at me!)
      Works for the government.

      He’s the sort of cunt subscribes to GQ magazine,
      Orders a salad,
      Goes for a pint with John Major.

      The villians were always more interesting.
      Scaramanga
      More nipples than page3
      Oddjob
      Jaws
      That voodoo cunt

      Idris could play him?
      Voodoo bloke.
      Just needs to get some personality

      • That voidoo bloke was Baron Samedi. Bond is meant to be a bastard as Fleming wrote him back in the fifties. In the books he prefers Champagne and drives a Bentley.

  11. It’s gone that far now that these cunts can’t even see how ridiculous the idea of either a split-arse or a swarthy fucker playing Bond is.
    Fucking idiotic pile of shit.

  13. The silly cunt is talking bollocks.

    Even if he had the talent there’s no way the franchise would gamble on an ethnic Bond.

    The last film was shit for the most part,the moon who was supposed to be the new 007 was just a chippy smart arse who needed shooting.

    Anyway I never pay to see any of the cunts due the lecturing mindset of the drug addled self loathing cunts in Hollywood.

    Volcano moon Base oven.

    • The best bit in the last film apart from that miserable cunt Craig getting blown up was the absolutely lovely Ana De Armas..I’d like to Q Branch her shit chute.

      Morning Gentlemen.

  15. A no from me.Stick him in the ejector seat and launch him into the sky.Untalented gibbon.

  16. The next Bond film?

    Brownfinger.

    One for the gays. Or the browns even.

    I’m writing the script now. No honkies allowed, apart from the bad guy, who must also be ‘racist and sexist’.

    • At least a sootıe Bond would be a good nighttime spy, CB, if he chınkied his eyes and didn’t smile.
      Maybe seeing a jıg’s nocturnal teeth is how Lewis Carroll came up with the Cheshire Cat?

      • Brownfinger has some lovely romantic scenes though, Thomas.

        In one love scene, Bond romantically inserts his finger into Michael Barrymore’s shitpipe. He pulls out his now brown finger and looks at it, shining and glistening majestically in the light.

        All done tastefully in slow motion to the tune of Carly Simon’s Nobody does it better.

  18. Anyway fuck the pubeheads.
    Always whining.

    What about a chinky Bond?
    Now that’s progressive!

    And he’d be a real spy.
    They all are.

    He’d smoke heavily, gamble in the casino,
    Spread COVID.

    Could call it
    You only live rice?
    Yellow eye
    From lussia wiv rove
    The riving daylice

  19. I dontbthink it’s Elba who is a cunt here,it’s shitrags like the Guardian whipping up up this nonsense for clicks.
    I think Elba is just saying what was happening.
    Eon have changed Blofeld’s backstory so they’d probably do the same with Bond, if they really wanted Elba in the role.

    In the books Bond is of Scottish-French parentage and Blofeld is Polish-Greek.

    • Scottish french?

      So tightfisted and cowardly?

      Deep-fried snails.

      Should of called him Pierre McTavish.

      • Yeah Scottish dad and French mum. I always though that was funny as you’d think he was the most English character ever written.

      • Aye, I don’t doubt it’s true, but I can’t see that working in reality.

        Women would gasp for air and run away from his French breath instead of snogging him, if the stench didn’t knock them out first, of course.

        And offering the birds half a can of Irn Bru he found in a skip won’t wash either, much like a Frenchman actually.

        And Bond is in his 30s or even 40s.

        Everyone knows that nobody in Scotland has lived to be over the age of 29.

        Nah. Fantasy world, innit?

    • Jaime appelle mcBond , Jacque mc Bond,

      Pint o buckie ya scobie coont, shaken not stirred

  20. Imagine a black bond at a fancy swiss casino, he would be swinging on the Crystal Chandelier after being explained the rules of baccarat..

  21. Obviously Idris has not yet realised that the parts he does get is not in spite of racism, it’s due to racism.

    • Yeah, it’s funny how all these cunts are 100% unaware of the meaning of positive discrimination when it’s in their favour. But any other discrimination is racist, innit.

  22. I’m still batting for a chink Bond.
    But would settle for a chink Q.

    All the gadgets made from shoddy Chinese materials,
    Steel like marzipan
    Faulty electricals
    Cracked plastic

    ” No James, it velly velly good.
    Made in xichangzou province.
    You want pack of ten lighters?
    Vape?”

    • The shoddy Chinese engineering muth gets blown out of the water if you look at their space program. Better safety record than USA and Russia so far.

      • yes – got to be fair, I bought a Chinese rectifier for the Triumph for 30 quid after a £300 Triumph genuine unit failed on me. Mind you, probably the same thing except Triumph (as they usually do) put a 1000 percent mark up on it

  23. Nothing to do with the fact the monotone cunts acting is boring, one directional and the same in anything he does.

  24. Bond is like Doctor Who, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Star Trek, Marvel, DC and any other hero related franchise. Killed by woke psychopaths and demented misandrists. So many golden geese have been killed in the last ten years, it’s unbelievable.

    Letting the odious Phoebe Waller Cunt write Bond was it’s final bloody end.
    And the sambeau minger bint as 007? Nah, it’s finished, Dead and gone.

    • Bond will be public domain in a decade or so. The fans can make their own adaptations.

  25. Bond is white, Commander Bond, not Winston Umbongo, Road Sweeper.

    #keep007white.

  26. Ideal for the part if shot in the jungle. Get wrist and elbow on the tom-toms now to spearhead him in for the job. We’ll start on a pot (sic) once agreed.

  27. “It was a huge compliment that every corner of the world except for some corners, which we will not talk about, were really happy about the idea that I could be considered”
    Why not talk about it Idris? I’m sure Guardian readers would love to know exactly who those racist bastards in ‘some corners’ are.
    Or is it possible that you’re talking bollocks?
    In the ‘corner’ of the world I inhabit, people are sick to death of dark keys playing the race card whenever they don’t get what they want. Especially cunts like you who have made an undeserved, overpaid living precisely because of the colour of your skin.
    Be fucking grateful you’ve got as far as you have.
    When I was growing up, dark keys knew their place and Idris was a fizzy drinks brand.
    If only it could have stayed that way.

  28. Iris made the big mistake of going for easy money making adverts. Unfortunately indicative of an acting career going nowhere.
    Poor bloke, the only film role he’s been offered recently was as Guy Gibson’s dog in a Dambusters remake.

    • Two reasons he can’t play the dog, too old to get on his haunches and the dog dies in the end. Pity about that, Geordie.

  29. Roger Moore was the last decent Bond.
    Let the films fade away…..

    • When it goes public domain I’m going to throw my hat in the ring to produce a new Bond film.

      It’s be the best in the whole shitty series.

      Bond will be northern.
      Won’t be a clothes horse.
      Drinks ale not ducky Martini.
      Drives a van not some show off gay Ferrari.

      And the bond girls?
      Angela Rayner
      Her off Yorkshire farm.

      And he’ll have a shotgun rather than some camp pistol.

      Dr Nay lad

      • Amanda Owen has had NINE kids, called🤔 no. 1, no. 2, no. 3….
        I hope she’s had her business end tightened up, or it’ll be flapping around her knees.
        I go to Uddersfield sometimes for concerts, I wonder if I’ll ever see her?!

    • Could’ve have made “The Bond Twins” starring Roger Moore and Carlo Ancelotti, doing it in for the deaf, in eyebrow code.

  30. Could turn it into a comedy and give him lines like, “Its a jungle out there”, “remember one for the pot” when making tea. “I’ve got a bone to pick with you”. Plus lots more. It will have the audience rolling in the aisles.

    • Also keep having him arrested whenever near or in a police station, kept as the running joke through out the film, each time arresting officers have to take off the handcuffs, when told he’s the new boss.

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