Environmental Social Corporate Governance

 
An Emperor’s heaving nappy nomination for ESG, or Environmental Social Corporate Governance.

It used be called sustainability and corporate social responsibility a few years ago and now there are investment funds bursting with cash for companies willing to go woke.
The trouble is it’s all bollocks. the companies that score highly on these arbitrary ‘social credit’ metrics are actually not particularly responsible or environmentally sound. Apple, Amazon and Exxon Mobil? Tesla got downgraded because Elon said the wrong things regarding Twitter and fired the useless wasters (mainly women) after taking over.

Still the corporations chasing this unicorn money do so at the expense of the present income. Disney, Vice, Anheuser-Busch, Buzzfeed. Go woke, get the flying monkeys of ESG to give you free money.

It must work. None of them are suffering any financial losses due to ignoring their customer base to chase the rainbow cash.
It’s why every fucking advert is full of gay black trannies. The companies don’t give a fuck about black or gay people, but being seen to by investors with multi billion dollar investment funds is seen as free cash they can then spend on hiring offices in New York and partying the money away (Vice and Buzzfeed staff kept doing this even while investors had pulled the plug due to low quality output and loss of ad revenue).

I guess the bottom line matters after all.

Youtube

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime.

33 thoughts on “Environmental Social Corporate Governance

  1. All these heavyweight investment funds are just shit scared of the very wealthy investors taking their money elsewhere once the Woke Stasi start interrogating them about their “credentials”..

    So they play along and pretend to care about whales,rivers,bleks,deviants etc…in reality they’d totally destroy all of them for an increased profit margin in the blink of an eye.

    Anyhow I’m off to.pour my meagre savings into the rock solid business that is Thames Water.

    Perfect.

  2. Just a thought. As I’m looking to invest some spare cash, does Boggs Pornographic Films (Taiwan) Ltd have a high ESG rating? Is there a company representative out there who could enlighten us?

    • Alas, Boggs Productions has gone down the tubes ever since they released that clip of Dylan Mulvaney sipping Bud Light then going down on Ron DeSantis’s excited winkle, filmed on an airboat in a Florida swamp.

      • In which case they deserved to go out of business.
        Sadly that leaves me looking to invest elsewhere. Is Enron still in business? Excellent ESG rating apparently.

  3. Disney, Busch, etc can afford to lose hundreds of millions or billions as BlackRock have their finacial back.
    BlackRock is a very evil entity; if there’s one organisation that’d precipitate WW3 for profit and power, it’d be them.

    • “…if there’s one organisation that’d precipitate WW3 for profit and power, it’d be them…”

      Aye, they’d burn the World just to rule over the ashes. oy vey!

  4. It’s a form of financial t3rror1sm. If firms don’t know tow to the demands of the woke investment groups the activists set about harassing their suppliers and customers . It’s scary stuff.

    Good nom.

  5. I go out of my way to avoid spending any part of my wad on goods or services promoted by woke ads or by ads featuring Alan fucking Carr.

  6. I think they must have leaned on our company. It is suddenly awash with woke crap. You name it, they’re promoting it.
    Just so they’re not cancelled.

  7. S’funny isn’t it, curious too, how the left were always perceived to be (and always portrayed themselves as) the implaccable enemy of corporates and big business. Now they are practically seam welded together for mutual profit.

  8. Can I getta chorus here? come on folks you all know the words…

    Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer,
    We’ll keep the red flag flying here.

  9. That new Eon advert boils my piss.

    Cunts singing, ‘Time is on my side.’ Of course, the world is ending all around them. Breaking ice caps, forest fires and flooding.

    Advert ends with the shithouses trying to sell you their heat pumps, charging units and solar panels.

    In other words. The world is ending (yeah right) so pay us a fucking fortune for less energy and for inefficient energy to save yourselves.

    Fucking pricks that make up 80%+ of the country will lap it up, the fucking stupid cunts.

    • “…Fucking pricks that make up 80%+ of the country will lap it up,…”

      Well spotted CB, there have been many low points in the history of propagandised TV adverts but I watched this in a state of slack jawed stupification as this execrable piece of disaster porn played through and wondered exactly that same thing, how many people really are that fucking witless as to fall into this.

  10. Just watching tennis from Eastbourne, Camilla Giorgi (oh yes I would) and the sponsor Rothesay are doing their bit for sucking up, it’s Pride Day, fucking stupid flags everywhere.

    Would much prefer posters of the Giorgi magnificent tight little arse

    • I stopped watching ladies tennis when they stopped flashing us their skimpy white knickers under their tiny skirts. And when they stopped employing p ervy cameramen, who spent half the time getting up skirt shots, particularly when they were serving.

      Anna Kourikova versus Jelena Dokic in their primes gave me a particularly bad case of tennis elbow, I can tell you, due to a team of cameramen who should’ve been knighted for services to wanking, the dirty bastards.

      Fucking ruined it for dirty bastards like me, when they stopped this avenue of delight.

      Tennis is fucking shit. Why else would I fucking watch it?

    • “…I wonder if you have an old photo of the Williams sisters in their prime?…”

      pfffft… dunno… have you tried Whipsnade Zoo? … Natural History Museum?

  11. Some bunch of unelected arseholes set themselves up as an authority, and the shit scared companies cave in and comply, rather than run the risk of being black-balled from a system they never subscribed to.
    Why don’t they just tell the freeloading wankers to fuck off?
    The pen is mightier than the sword.
    Just as long as the people with a sword allow it.

  12. Capitalism looks for novelty. To get ahead of the game. But it’s struggling to find new novelties now. So ‘marketing campaigns’ are getting extreme, twisted.

    If that’s anything to do with this Nom I don’t know.
    Just thought of it.

    • “…If that’s anything to do with this Nom I don’t know….”

      It’s very relevant Miles, the advertising driven desire for “the next big thing” and the “new and improved” creates a social ratcheting effect. For instance, as Hollywood plays one theme to death it no longer becomes shocking and so writers and directors have to ramp up the violence or the depravity in order for it to register with an ever more desensitized consumer. Each descent draws another line in the sand, another datum point which the next iteration has to exceed.

  13. I’m sorry, when it comes to the world of finance, I’m totally at a loss.
    Can someone explain this in simple terms?
    Bullet points will be fine.

    • Basically, people are now lambasted for their investments as a personal reflection upon themselves.

      I was labelled a cunt for owning Oil & Gas stocks and being part of ‘the problem.’

      To try and combat this, the energy companies (for example) need to appear ‘green’ – otherwise larger investors / clients will not be able to invest as they cannot be seen to be associated with dirty companies or companies killing the environment or supporting Russia for example.

      So companies need to come up with bullshit ESG metrics to get people to stop and go: ‘ oh you planted 500,000 trees for every oil well you drill, that means your carbon neutral – I can invest in your company now’ or ‘ you have employed every single person of colour / disability / gender / Neurodivergent cunt possible and have ticked all the investors in people boxes – here’s my investment.’

      Just another hurdle to jump over to get £ my friend.

  14. To fuck with all this bullshit.

    It’s absolutely reprehensible. From personal experience this is all bollocks to make money. I used this plenty of times as a ramping point to promote stocks I was financially attached to.

    “We are sustainable shepherds of our environment.” was always a good soundbite.

    Whatever we can use to extract idiots from their £, take it, rape it and sell out before they realise it’s lip service for the paid interviews.

    I remember Scottish widows tweeting that they will not be investing any money into fossil fuel companies. I outed the cunts and reminded them that they are there to provide a ROI for their clients. To turn your back on hydrocarbon energy explorers and producers 12-18 months ago was literally the dumbest fucking thing anyone could do.

    However I have come to find most financial experts have fucked up and got this wrong so many times. The word expert basically means the individual has been promoted to a level of greater incompetence than they deserve.

    It’s bullshit, but I have to enjoy ESG as I mugged money by pumping it.

    I whipped my money out of Lloyd’s when they started their campaign of employing unqualified black people and putting them in the board of director positions. Watch this space for all the companies folding and CEOs stepping out. The majority will be people of colour and women.

    Look at purple bricks… A 39 year old female CEO who declared bankruptcy to a 6 figure sum years before her appointment and zero experience for a directorship position. Any wonder why it’s failed? Why would anyone employ this person as part of a winter contingency in a companies rubicon point, other than to tick a box.

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