Beer, choosing it can be a cunt (8)

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I love a beer or several but sometimes I am utterly confused as to which one I should buy and ultimately drink. There are many choices out there and I like so many.

A ice cold Spanish larger in a frosted glass always hits the spot when I am in Diego land. Back home in rural England when it is 50 degrees and damp less so.

I love to try the many small brewery delights that offer a wide range of products. .Batemans a local brewery to me have a wide and delicious selection ;-Yella belly gold, XB, triple XB, Dark fruits porter and so the list goes on.

Even local supermarkets have many many beers to chose from. McEwans Champion Ale is a firm favourite of mine but strong so mind how you go. Hobgoblin Ruby is another favourite tasty but less strong.

Some years ago I used to love to go on a P&O mini cruise to Bruges and come home with a boot full of delights. I once brought a case of beer that was 13% which is fucking strong real fucking strong. This was a brown beer and not sickly like the special brew slops.

I could go on for ages because there are many brilliant beers to choose, But which one. The choice at times can be a cunt.

Just don’t ever choose and worse still drink a carling black label. Fucking hell revolting cats piss in a glass.

Nominated by Everyonesacunt.

108 thoughts on “Beer, choosing it can be a cunt (8)”

  1. That’s the good thing about ale.
    Spoilt for choice!
    There’s loads of good ones to try.
    Marston’s pedigree micro brewery,
    Loads.

    I don’t drink lager,
    To gassy.

    I like a pint of mild or bitter, and like a lot of Hobgoblin Golden ales nice,
    But you can’t beat draught ale.
    Nice creamy head,
    Followed by a half of old Tom.😹

    Stockport’s finest.

    • I thought fragrant angie was Stockport’s finest?

      And she prefers old dick.

      • Note to self:
        Steal Barry’s idea
        Contact Robinson’s brewery and Angela Rayner about a collaboration!!

        In the Advert she says to someone

        “You looking up my skirt?
        You Tory scum?”

        Then suggestively licks the froth from a pint.

        I might get a crate of Trooper® ?

        Maybe a nosh off Angie?!

        Don’t tell the others..

      • Do a collaboration yourself mis, COTY meets bucket cunt of the North.

        It will have notes of wit and humour, but a terrible after taste.

    • Not to be contentious to the ISAC iconoclasts’ home turf per se but Robinsons brewery must be the purveyors of some of the foulest ales in christendom.

      Not sure if they’re the same group responsible for the excessively chemical laden-soft-drinks monstrosities found on most supermarket shelves but i can imagine it being so ?

  2. Nice one sir. I am going over in a few weeks. Maes and Duvel being my beers of choice. Stella, Leffe and Jupiler have been cancelled thanks to that mincing little cunt Mulvaney.

    Do they still do a direct crossing to Belgium? At least you could avoid La Belle France.

    • Yes mate hull to zeebruge overnight. Snap is good several bottles of leffe. Day shopping for beers 🍻 repeat on journey next day. Winter is best cheap crossings take car about 10 miles into Bruges park in underground car park in centre of town fill you boot

  3. No matter what type you prefer as long as you don’t choose a beer from Transheuser Busch you should be fine.

    • I relish the Bud Light fiasco.
      I am Intoxicated by their hopeless difficulties. I am drunk on their huge blunder.

      • They relished ‘inclusivity’ so much so they felt they could insult their core demographic.

        Or

        They were intoxicated by their dominant market position and felt they do anything.

        Or

        They are flailing round like a like a drunkard desperately trying to rescue the situation.

      • You’re right.
        Bud Light’s core demographic is puffs.
        And puffs are becoming increasingly annoyed about being lumped in with the trannies.
        At least the puffs I know are.
        That’s why the LGB Alliance specifically excludes trannies from its number.

  4. McEwans Champion Ale strong? 3.7%? Really NOT strong. I don’t even look at anything under 5%. There was a pale ale I tried in Ukraine that was 13% but smooth as silk. I was half pissed before it even occurred to me to look at the bottle. Good stuff.

    • It’s lovely stuff at 7.3%…possibly only bettered by Timothy Taylor Landlord.

      Good grief,I’m spitting feathers now.

      • I looked it up on the Tesco website. True to form, they’re got the strength wrong at 3.7%, arsewipes.

  5. Nope from this cunter. You are doing a sterling job on them General. To all you like minded citizens of the USA keep up the good work. Go woke, go broke.

  6. I used to have a huge amount of choice as to which beer(s) I could drink until I developed full-on Coeliac Disease about 4-5 years ago due to some kind of immune response.

    Since then, I’m limited to wine (which I tolerate), cider (which I hate), alcoholic ginger beer (over-priced, gut-burning, low-alochol crap),some spirits (which usually come back up) or gluten-free beer which is mingin.

    On behalf of all Coeliacs, I’m glad to inform you that you are suffering from first-world problems even more first-worldy than those of Coeliacs.

  7. Back in the 70s in Newcastle there were two or three pubs owned by Drybroughs, an Edinburgh brewery belonging to Watneys. I would have defied anyone to hold down a half of their keg heavy. It was, without doubt, the worst beer I have ever tasted.
    Thankfully beer is much improved today. And Drybroughs closed down.

  8. The guy who invented beer should have been made a saint at the very least.

    If you are coming to Spain there is little choice in the bars, they will deal with only one brewery who generally sponsor the chairs and sun shades on bar terraces.

    Estrella de Galicia is better than Mahou, San Miguel or Estrella Damm in my opinion.

    The important thing is not to drink too much in the chiringuitos on the beaches and then fall asleep in the sun.
    You can get horribly burned.

    When it’s hot order ‘cañas’ (small beers) rather than ‘tanques’ (large beers).
    Unless you are a pig like me, a large beer will get warm before you finish it.

    I don’t like it when they serve beer in glasses that have been frozen.
    The ice covering the glass will melt and drip onto you, usually onto your trousers to make it look like you have pissed yourself.

    Cider is an excellent choice for the summer.

    • Cider is the reason i don’t drink a lot of beer. i find it far more refreshing.

    • If ever in Menorca check out Xoriguer gin.Green bottle,red-cap,yellow windmill sticker.Distilled there for decades and isn’t like any other in terms of taste.It is beyond sublime.I used to bring to uk dozens of bottles from La junquera in my Euro trucking days on the Spanish/French border at a tenner each for a litre but now Amazon are hawking 75cl versions at 30 nicker a pop the fuckers.

  9. I have noticed lately a lot of pubs don’t know how to keep tradititional draught/keg ales.
    They are kept too cold and when served have no head and seem flat.
    Many an argument I had with some soy boy behind the bar when sending it back and demanding a replacement or refund. 🫗☹️

  10. Old boy told me about a drink they used to call ” shit britches ” , popular after the Great War when the tommies came home and were skint.
    It consisted of all the slops and people’s left overs including spirits all poured into a barrel and left to mature and flogged for bugger all.💩

  11. Anything that is likely to taste of grapefruit, pineapple, melon, strawberries, kiwifruit, etc. is to be avoided at all costs.

    I speak from personal experience https://is-a-cunt.com/2021/05/fruit-flavoured-beer/

    I tried another called Charlie Brown that was supposed to taste like peanut butter and couldn’t decide if I liked it or it was disgusting.

    These days I don’t really drink anymore.

    • Chocolate stouts can go down the toilet as well.
      Disgusting drinks for nobody.

  13. For me it’s Kronenbourg every time.

    Every evening, in fact.

    Very rarely visit pubs nowadays… but if I do, it’s more than not a pint of Adnams bitter.

  14. Drink it up,quick,Cunters.

    Suck Ma Dick KHUNT will ban it when Shariah comes in.

  15. ‘an ice cold Spanish lager in a frosted glass…’.

    The mouth waters at the thought. Ah Spain, I love you.

    • Sorry Ron I have to ask why your avatar has gone yellow?
      Have you been infiltrated by the CCP. or is day admin just bored.

  16. There is no real standard size of beer here.
    A large beer is just how much the can get into the style of glasses that they have.

    I have returned beer if the glass is too small or there is too much of a head on it as I would have been overcharged.

    Find a bar that you like that serves a nice beer in value for money glasses.
    Trying out different places is fun.

    It’s a bonus if you get a place that is generous with the amount of spirits they serve for the ladies.
    In some bars I wonder how they make a profit with the amount of vodka or rum that they give you.

    Don’t do the tourist thing of ordering a 2,60 beer and leaving a 2,40 tip.
    Take almost all of the change from your 5 euros.
    10% is the expected tip.

  18. Alcohol is satans piss. It’s evil incarnate. Must be it comes in so many delicious forms. Not many products give us so much choice. As everyonesacunt says just the choice of beers is mind boggling.

    From strong lagers for the council estate wife beaters to dark brown real ales favoured by the beer nerds with something for everyone between.

    Allowing the ugly to have sex and forget about the trauma after the fact….

    Beer is the dog of beverages, man’s best friend for millennia. All hail the ale!

  19. We used to get Melanie Sykes advertising Boddingtons Bitter. Fast forward nearly thirty years and its now Dylan Mulvaney.

    How progressive.

    • Interesting character that Dylan, was a jobbing actor before lockdown, he allegedly complained that he was excluded from getting parts as women by fact of his male gender.

      Makes me think he’s trolling the entire world by ‘becoming a girl’ suddenly he’s meeting the president and becomes woman of the year and because everyone is frightened of being called transphobic no one dare call him out on his fraud.

      I doubt he drinks bud light, probably sits around bare arse naked drinking theakstons young and peculiar laughing like Brian Blessed while he counts his new found wealth.

      • Agree Sixdog. I think he is taking advantage of the current Stasi like climate of transphobia paranoia.

  21. St Austell Brewery do Tribute (pleasant but not outstanding), Proper Job (5.5% and very tasty) and Proper Black (6.0%, an IPA despite being black).
    I can recommend them all and a trip around the brewery in the company of an ex copper called Nick is a joy but get the missus to drive as Nick offers tastings of about a dozen ales.

    • Should also mention Thatchers as I live very near to the brewery. They have a shop where all their ciders are sold from the barrel. I often pick up a gallon of medium/dry mix scrumpy on the way home from work in the summer. Place is fucking enormous now, I remember not even 20 years ago it was just a little farm shop with a few orchards

  22. Timothy Taylor Landlord, Bathams Best, Cheddar Ales Gorge Best. Failing that Guinness….

    Can’t go wrong 👍

    • Guinness in Dublin is like a completely different drink from the stuff served up in the UK.

      • Nigerian Guinness is 7.5% and tastes like a mixture of domestos and battery acid.

        I fucking love the stuff and it sure gets the job done. 👍🏻

      • I discovered Guinness foreign extra in America which is 7.3% I think. Some supermarkets sell it here. It’s a nice drink but very different from draught Guinness. Probably closer to the real thing before it was nitrogenated (if that’s a word)

      • Yep that’s the stuff, Foreign Extra. I’m sure they used to brew the stuff in Bongobongoland.

  23. The choices nowadays are amazing, I honestly would swop my young drinking days for now.

    The likes of skol, castlemain 4x. fosters and carling still going?

    Low alcohol beers barbican and thanks Billy, kaliber.

    It’s enough to turn you to hard liquor.

    • I’ve had that a few times and it is very nice, and does have a fuller flavour than Guinness. Quite a few other stouts do. None have the mouthfeel or creaminess of a draught Guinness from a decent pub though.

  25. I drink FOSTERS 4% draught. Fuck the rest. To many poncey beers for poncey types to drink. Lager snobbery is poncey.

  26. I really enjoy the foreign Guinness, I first tried it in West Africa. The shits the next morning are something else, you could tar roofs with it.

  27. I was looking at a selection of international beers at a local Co-op, and reading through the labels, everyone of them was brewed under licence in the UK, apart from Asahi, a Japanese beer, that came from Italy.
    ‘Brewed to the Authentic Recipe”?
    Boiled monkey piss – the whole fucking lot of it.
    If you want real international beer, you now have visit the country of origin.

    • It’s ridiculous how much difference the water used to brew the beer makes to the taste.

      • Indeed, the water in brewery’s locality make a great difference, hence why there were so many beer producers in Burton-on-Trent.

  28. I am a real ale twat. I also have a dog’s bollocks micro brewery. I can discuss hops all day. I am a boring fucker.

      • I dont have any vape machine but am currently hopping with Columbus in the boil and dry hopping with Citra and Cascade.
        I can give you time and quantities if I can pin you up against the wall in my local. The landlord’s name is Steve.

    • Real ale twats ARE NOT twats, despite what Viz might think. I should know because I am one too. Cheers Cuntstable and all other casketeers! 🍺

  29. By the way. Most ‘continental’ beers ae brewed in Northampton.

  30. St austell brewerys korev lager is my weapon of choice, ice cold from the fridge, lovely stuff.

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