OAP Action Heroes

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Having just see the trailer for the latest instalment of the Indiana Jones franchise, ‘Indiana Jones And The Dial Of Destiny’ we find an eighty year old Harrison Ford battling yet more Nazis. And this octogenarian daredevil isn’t alone.

Schwarzenegger and Stallone are two iconic action heroes from my childhood starring in classics like Terminator, Predator and Rocky but now appear in demeaning cameo roles looking ever more older, wrinkled and saggy with each passing increasingly irrelevant non-event film.

Just have a bit of self-respect for fucks sake and be remembered for what you were in the you’re prime and what made the films a success in the first place and not the per formative social justice lecturing featuring wimminz, trannies and ethnics that bear little or no resemblance to the originals. At least Bruce Willis got dementia before he could embarrass himself further with more Die Hard films.

Time to hang up the bullwhip and fedora Harrison, maybe a nice Saga cruise to the fjords next time? Sly, less Rocky more rocking chair. And Arnie?

“I’ll be back”…..I fucking well hope not.

oneroomwithaview

Nominated by Liberal Liquidator

77 thoughts on “OAP Action Heroes”

    • Chuck Norris in Dementia Force.
      Clint Eastwood in Demented Harry.
      Jackie Chan in Demented Master.

      • Bruce Lee if he was still alive,
        Way of the Care Home, where he takes on a gang of Eastern block employees who are knocking fuck out of the pensioner’s.! Dragon Whips his Tail.!

      • Dirty Harry Cardigan

        Bruce Willis in Breathe Hard

        Rambo – First blood pressure

  2. Don’t knock it LL, when they are gone what’s left?..
    Daniel (Harry Potter ) as the new rambo..
    Expelliarmus king shit cop..

    John ( is it cause I’m black ) bodega as bond?

    Wait until suzi izzard becomes the new terminator. John conner would off himself rather than deal with that.

  4. I’ll be back?

    Now it’s “Ooh me back.”

    It’s because films now are all shit so they dig these cunts up again. I can watch any film I want, new or old, for more or less fuck all (I know nuffink abaahht it). Hardly ever bother.

    Last one I tried was the new Top Gun one. Turned it off after 20 minutes and scratched me knackers instead.

    • I didn’t mind that cb. Though it was a complete rehash of the original film..

      • I think the last film I sat through to the end was 1917.

        I don’t mind war filums. I watched that Churchill one that came out.

        I loved the realism. Especially where it had Winston crying on the train while a black lad with his white girlfriend gave him a little encouragement to carry on the fight. Which then won the war, it seemed to me.

        Completely realistic that was. All that was missing was ET fucking sitting next to him and wanking him off.

  5. The last Indiana jones was bad enough crystal skullcunt whatever that was suppose to be I haven’t even seen the trailer for this but it sounds pathetic and tired as fuck like fresh paint on old broken wooden fence

    A female Indiana Jane? would be better choice given that it was sexy young white actress playing the role but we can’t nice things in fandom nostalgia Can we?

    I can’t hate on the old Indiana jones trilogy especially with Temple of Doom being a favourite film but that film wouldn’t be allowed today because it depicted 3rd world minorities too harshly.

    Yeah the heart sacrificing forced child labour villians some liberals felt too offended by that lol

    • ‘The Crystal Skull’ was piss; the hide in the fridge atom bomb sequence was a real jump the shark moment if ever there was one.
      Cate Blanchett was hot as fuck tho.

      • to nuke the fridge has joined j’umping the shark’ in film parlance.

        another case of such cuntitude is flying tge enterprise through the Borg cube as though it was the Millennium Falcon flying through the Death Star. Gets the yanks clapping like seals, i guess.

      • If we had to have a female lead in those films I wouldn’t mind a spin off with Cate Blanchett’s psychic-psycho KGB dooshka-dooshka witch. She was the best thing in Crystal Skull by a country mile.

  6. Joe Biden will stand* again, and will then be aged 81.
    Donald Trump may stand again** and will then be 77.

    *Or snooze in a comfortable armchair.
    **If not in prison.

    We’re laughing at old actors? Let’s get our fucking priorities right, eh?

  7. You have to be a total cunt to watch films with these ancient cunts in them.
    Still once a cunt always a cunt.

  8. The price of celebrity,an ego the size of Jew hater Abbotts arse..

    All the money in the world and still trying to be “relevant”..

    Fuck off.

  9. I reckon Arnie has always been a bit of a shirt lifter.

    I liked his films as a lad and would rent anything with him in it. Terminator, Commando etc. Saw a film called ‘Pumping Iron’ in Blockbuster all those decades ago. Thought it was an acton film, not a documentary.

    Fuck me, it was the most homosexualist thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Turned it off after a short while.

    They all came across as meathead bummers to me. Bird the shop gave me a wry smile when I handed it back. Cheeky mare thought I was a bender.

    Took me ages to pluck the courage to go back in and rent Interview with a Vampire and Brokeback Mountain (I love me cowboy and horror me.)

    • Arnold would just laugh at you and call you a ‘little girly man’.

      most of what ive read and heard is that he is a bit too hetero for some of the Stewardesses who met him on flights.

  10. Poor old buggers, still trying to make money in TInseltown – what’s the point? – they can’t take it with them – it will probably melt. Mind you if it does make a lot of money, I might abandon porn and direct yet another one in the franchise:

    Indiana Jones and the Truss of Doom

    Perhaps we could get a cameo from old Joe Biden as an incontinent peedoh…

  11. The Chinese film industry have their own versions of these action heroes.
    They’ve even got their own Dwayne Johnson, a.k.a. ‘The Wok’….

  12. I’ve just watched Tulsa King starring Sylvester Stallone.
    And to my surprise he can act!
    It’s really rather good.

    I know he seems a bit down syndrome but put your prejudice aside I say.

    As for Harrison Ford I heard he’s using Joe Biden as a stunt double?!

    • Your right Miserable,
      Sly can act and has been in some good films. most of them action of course. If you ever see him being interviewed he comes across as a nice down to earth bloke . Not up his own egotistical arsehole like a lot i could mention.

      • Hes not a daft bloke either Fenton.
        He wrote Rocky and insisted he play the role himself.

        Guess who the studio wanted for the part?

        …..Burt Reynolds!!

        But Stallone stuck to his guns, and went on to stardom.

  14. I don’t care for bald cunts being action heroes.

    Vin diesel
    Jason Statham
    That gay one?
    Ross kemp.
    Bruce Willis.

    A bald fuck in a vest🙄
    Like Right said Fred.

    Shut it Willis.

  15. Schwarzenegger to star as dementia ridden secret agent who travels to Mars in sci-fi sequel, ‘Can’t Recall’….

  16. Suspension of Disbelief taken too far.
    Who on earth believes that these octagenarians are fit enough to be kicking the shit out of athletes half their age?

  17. My favourite action hero is Clint Eastwood in the part of Dirty Harry Callaghan.👍

    A role tailor made for him you’d think?
    But the coke addled studio execs offered it to loads of other actors first

    Burt Reynolds (again)
    Salad dresser Paul Newman
    And John Wayne!

    All would of been awful.

    • Cor imagine John Wayne.
      Dirty Harry on a horse..

      Marion wouldn’t of made it up Mount davidson with the ransom money..

      • John Wayne hated Clint Eastwood Baz.
        There was a script , funding and studio interest for them to team up for a film called The Hostiles.

        John Wayne ripped up the script.

        He hated the Eastwood western High Plains Drifter for some reason?
        And as a result disliked Eastwood.

        Shame because it’d generated a lot of interest.

      • Cheers mis.. never knew that.. bitter old has been.

        I much prefer the jeff Bridges true grit as well..

      • Frank Sinatra was offered the role of Dirty Harry. Apparently he couldn’t hold a gun convincingly.

      • Clint is a great, from Rawhide to Gran Torino, and even more since then (not that I’ve caught up with his recent stuff). Top entertainer.

        Went to the cinema to see a film he Directed, American Sniper; it had a few frames in it where you couldn’t see anything on the actual screen but it was meaningful! The man is a genius.

    • ive heard hes been kicked around by fellow actors/martial artists a few times for trying to bully them. Jean Claude van Damme and Sven Ole Thorssen are two such names.

  19. Better than running.
    Google Stephen Seagal Running if you want a laugh.

  20. Alas you are right, but I think I Will watch Indy so I can perve over Phoebe Waller-Bridge. I’d very much like to butter her muffin, there’s something about her that makes me more horny than a hornet.

  21. I suppose this type of bollocks is to be expected given the age of the president. Talk about flogging a near dead horse, how the fuck do the film crew keep a straight face when old indie staggers out of the pit of dire screenplay with his pants on backwards. Be thankful that “I love Scotland which is why I live in Spain” Connery can’t be roped in as his fucking dad..
    In view of this amazing rise of the well past it I am going to invest in Tactical toileting trousers for the aged swashbuckler if he can remember where he put them the day will be saved!

  22. I like a calm realistic action hero. I loved Jeremy Renner’s character in Wind River. Calm, wise, simple, and the last person with whom you would want to fuck.

  23. i cant ondone this cunting as it includes Clint Eastwood and nobody wants to cunt Clint Eastwood.
    or Jack Palance whose last big role in City Slickers was almost self parody of his roles in Westerns.

    • Jack Palance was the real deal CP.
      He was a good heavyweight boxer and had his face burnt in a aircraft fire during WW2.

      If Stephen seagal tried to push Jack around,
      He’d of hit him so hard his shadow would run of and phone a ambulance.

      • Seagull will still be making dodgy straight-to-video actioners until he carks it. He is versatile though, Japanese, Cherokee, Eskimo…he can play them all…he lives in Russia now hanging off the end of Putin’s cock, so doesn’t know what cultural appropriation is.

      • Hee hee…he is an oddball alright Mis. Been sniffing his hair oil again.

  26. It’s very sad.
    But, if you want a winner movie, big names will make it win.
    Even if it’s a total piece of shite, folk will watch it, just to trash it.
    Arnie, Sly, stay home.
    Harrison, make another Star Wars movie.

    • The new Indiana Jones looks dreadful. A three hundred year old Jones goes back in time to become Phoebe Waller-Bridges or something.

    • ‘Harrison, make another Star Wars movie’

      Please don’t.

      Ford wanted Solo to get killed off in Return of the Jedi so that he could make more interesting films. He came back for the shitshow Force Awakens but was paid a ridiculous fee for his trouble, and he dies in it.

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