Noel Gallagher [3]

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Like so many lads who crack it through football or rock ‘n’ roll, he – against advice – got married.

He thought she was the bee’s knees and could do no wrong. And now? They’re divorcing and she is hiring Harry Hewitt’s lawyer to take Noel to the cleaners.

Sorry, but you were warned, Our Kid….

Mirror Link.

(It’s a short nom, but we’re allowing it as it’s a life lesson for us all – NA)

Nominated by : Norman

84 thoughts on “Noel Gallagher [3]”

  1. So her brief is a specialist in “privacy and reputation management.”
    Translation……screwing shitloads of dough out of the rich half of the couple.
    Not that I care……fuck him, fuck her, fuck her lawyer, fuck the fucking judge. If there’s a jury involved fuck all of them as well.

  2. Thunderbirds are go!!!

    Noel used to be a chauffeur.

    https://youtu.be/3GkNf29FbbU

    Yuss m,lady.

    Nowadays he’s a gormless multimillionaire with no talent, a mitmot brother, and a feathered haircut.

    He’ll get fuckin raped in court.
    She’ll get millions.
    Which was the plan all along.

    Should of stayed in Burnage kid.

    • The Markle bitches lawyer probably sees it as a warm up to fleecing Halfwit in the inevitable divorce. She did do well representing Johnny Depp during his defecation case against Amber Heard. No finger pointing about who shit on the bed this time, maybe in the early days of Oasis but its a good book and bed by 9.00 for Noel nowadays.

      • Afternoon LL…I would have liked to have seen Amber Heard dropping a log on Johnny Depp’s pillow.

      • Shite never mixes with sexiness for me Thomas.

        I’d look the other way if a prime Kylie Minogue had her arse out in front of me and then took a shit.

        However, as long as she’s not shitting, I’d chow down on her ringpiece until I passed out from not coming up for air.

        It’s all rather confusing, as Alan Partridge would say.

      • Afternoon Mr Cunt Engine.

        Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Brown Pearler.

  4. She hired Peghim’s attorney who specializes in privacy and reputation?

    After the Duchess of Suckits plummeting poll numbers that doesn’t strike me as a particularlly smart move. In fact that seems like a formula for ruin.

    No wonder he’s divorcing her. She’s dumber than a room full of Democrats.

  5. The thing that pisses me off most about this monobrowed talentless fucker and his utter twat of a brother is that they try to look ‘hard’, especially the fuckin’ brother. Philip Schofield could knock shit out of the pair of them and would probably adopt an unorthodox method of doing so and enjoy it.

  6. I feel an Oasis reunion tour coming on.
    He’ll have to do it to recoup what he’s going to lose.
    Divorce or the tax man usually makes warring bands kiss and make up.

    • Although not from but close to Manchester, The Charlatans. Top band who’ve been going longer than Oasis. I like Oasis but The Charlatans are far better in my opinion.

      • Good thanks Mis, hope your well. Brought some top singles and albums out through the years. Seen them live a few times. Sad what happened with the three band members dying. Glad they carried on though.after the bad times.

  9. I strongly suspect this funny little fellow is going to be financially raped twice,once by his soon to be ex-wife and again by his own legal “team”..

    He should wriggle out of it by faking his own death by doing a Paula Yates on himself.

    The cunt.

  12. Let’sbe frank about it – after 59 years of marriage I can say with confidence that most women are just after a meal ticket. If they are a fat lazy bitch like the spouse stayting at home all day pretending to do the washing and the housework, when they spend half an hour on that and the rest of the day on shops and the cinema and resent taking the kiddy to school when he is too young to go alone, they know if it wasn’t that it would be eight hours on the Tesco checkout.

    All the spouse has done for the past thirty years plus is p*nce off me for her KitKats and walnut whips etc.

    If you are a rich pop singer you will get even more grasping old bags after you. I wouldn’t touch the Hewitt’s lawyer with a bargepole.

      • If I had my time over again MNC, I would marry for money – or big tits – Liza Nandy’s rather than Lady Nugee’s though – she will end up looking like the spouse.

      • Marry for money!!
        👍👍

        Bad ticker and no children ,
        Nervous type and easily startled.

        £3.4million?
        Come to poppa😆

    • Mr. Boggs’ point is well taken.

      However, if you’re a wealthy celebretard at least you can decide how much it’s worth to pay the bitch off just to make her go away.

      But if you’re a working class stiff you have to tough it out or lose half of what you worked your entire life for.

      The really funny part about hiring the Hewitt/Markle/Mountbatten-Windsor lawyer is that she bills herself as a specialist in privacy and reputation.

      How’s that worked out then? Successful are we?

    • Fuck me, that’s more than some shop workers get, almost £20K a year.

      That really sends the right message out. And then when these cunts spunk all that case on sex drugs and rock’n’roll what will they do?

      • There is no end to that cunt Drakeford’s stupidity when it comes to spending other people’s money.

    • Noting that MP Jane ‘Jabba the’ Hutt is one of the dickheads behind this utter fucking arseholery. I have had dealings with Hutt in my professional life and she really is a completely clueless socialist, (Welsh) protectionist cunt.

  16. Gallag is a Mancunian cunt of the highest order and this is coming from a fellow Mancunian.

  17. FUCK ME. That solicitor tart would be a challenging wank. Fucking hideous. A hitman might be a cheaper option than the divorce.

  18. I think Morning Glory is a stirring tune myself and Noel held some non PC views so he ain’t that bad, unlike his silly monkey-boy brother.
    Nobody mentioned Magazine?
    Manchesters finest.

    • Howard Devoto. The man is a hero….
      Magazine were great, but Joy Division just edge it for me.
      Ian Curtis live was unstoppable. A force of nature.

  20. Oasis did a Jedi mind trick on the world.

    If you play Oasis records backwards, there are subliminal messages saying ‘This is classic rock music. You love it’ over and over.

    Well, it’s the only way I can explain liking them as a young lad when they were ‘new’.

    They sound like a fucking shite pub band if you listen to them now.

    I hope she fleeces the cunt for tricking me like that.

    Oh, and for the ‘Don’t look back in anger’ crap after kids got blown to bits by a ‘refugee’ in Manchester.

    I hope he ends up busking in a piss drenched underpass.

    • Then there was the whole brownnosing of Blair at the peak of the cringing ‘Cool Britannia’ bollocks.

      Even today after two wars, Brexit and just being Blair he still fucking loves him. I thought Liam was the fucking idiot brother and this cunt was the brooding thinker.

      • Occasionally Liam comes out with some crackers when interviewed.

        I’m a Black Sabbath fan.

        But did laugh when Liam questioned Ozzy’s appeal and rock hero status!

        ” I don’t get it? He seems a bit of a mong?”

        Pot/kettle 😆

      • Did he really eat that bat Mis? I heard he thought it was a rubber one, like a prop or something.

        Must be part rinky dink somewhere along the family line.

    • You are not wrong. I remember the jukebox in my local the fuckers were never off it.

      Come back to the pub a week later and fucking don’t look back in anger was still on.

  22. Never been a fan of this cunt or his gobshite brother. People say they sound like The Beatles. Not for me they sound like a Slade tribute band and a fucking shite one at that.

      • Never my intention to, Noddy Holder wrote some brilliant songs. I just remember seeing the Oasis on Jools Holland back in the 90’s where they butchered Cum On Feel The Noize. I remember thinking what a shite Slade tribute this lot are, and it’s stuck with me ever since whenever the cunts are brought up.

  23. Best Northern band are the Rotherham 6. They play A minor. The Police will be supporting them next year.

  24. Interesting to see if there is an oasis reunion tour to pay the divorce bill. Often see celebs unretire such as John cleese with Monty python and Rik flair for similar reasons. I’d laugh if Noel turned up in the remake of Fawlty Towers… Stick a moustache on he could be Manuel from Burnage.

    • He’d be more suited to the part played by Bernard Cribbins, the spoon salesman. Miserable boring cunt constantly whining and complaining.

    • If I started an Oasis tribute band I would call it “Beatle-ish”.
      90s songs bring back memories of smoking weed from a beer can. Then watching TV for an hour before realizing I didn’t turn it on.

  25. Gallaghers beloved Arab team have applied to upsize their stadium to which Domino Pizza have said it’s like them making the boxes bigger but same size pizza.

    • They must be anticipating even more filthy A-rabs coming on the dinghies and heading for Manchester. Free tickets for the sons of the desert.

  27. Maybe his idol Macca will put him in touch with the brief who helped him out with hop along Heather?

    Maybe you’ll be the one to save me? After all you’re a fucking tool…..

    Liam will say anything Noel’s ex wants just for spite. Then again maybe Liam will be smart and realise Noel might just need the cash from a reunion tour.

    Liam smart? Nah forget it.

  28. Liam must be pissing himself laughing.. Everyone said he was out of order and so horrible to his brother’s Mrs. Cunt, Gallagher junior may be. But it looks like he was right all along….

    And I dare say ‘our kid’ will now be mithering Liam for an Oasis cash-in tour to pay his divorce bills.

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