International Olympic Committee (3)

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A quick off the blocks nomination for the International Olympic Committee.
In their wisdom and with no pressure or influence from the wokewankery they have decided that at the next Olympics we’ll be watching people breakdancing their way to a gold medal.

‘Instead breakers will take to the floor in pairs in Paris, “battling” head-to-head and upping each other’s moves to take home a medal.’

What’s next?
The 500 yards with a nicked 60 inch TV on ya back hurdles?

Will we see Team GB parading with the National Stabbing Team?

What value will a Gold Medal have when some dildo has just received his Olympic Gold medal for spinning around on his head and wriggling around like a worm? Well worth years of dedication and sacrifice……not.

Even worse for the women. Not only do they see their medals devalued, some of them probably won’t have a chance to win a medal as so many second rate male athletes magically switch genders to become super-fucking-woman in women’s events.

Wonder what fuckery will be next to become worthy of the Olympics?

Bbc news

Nominated by Sixdog Vomit.

57 thoughts on “International Olympic Committee (3)”

  1. My question is do you have to supply your own six foot square of lino yourself, like in the good old days.

    Still got to be more interesting than synchronised swimming.

  3. Breakdancing would be far more entertaining if it was transferred to the Paralympics.
    Tipping people out of their wheelchairs onto a slippery mat and watching them thrash around to early 80’s hip-hop would be magnificent, especially as the crowd would be encouraged to throw darts and coins at them to energise their performances.

  4. Good Morning

    It sounds to me that the IOC might be onto something. Providing the local Gendarmerie aren’t still dealing with rioters then they could surreptitiously be in the audience. All the competitors are bound to have had arrest warrants issued on them,. Bingo they are all nicked.

  5. It’s good to see that the Olympic Committee are keeping up to date with popular trends.

    Hopefully they will have sub categories for The Twist, The Charleston, The Mashed Potato and the ever popular Funky Chicken.

  6. Back in 1900 there was an event, Live Pigeon Shooting so why not combine the two?

  7. It is believed that breakdancing was discovered in the early 80’s when some jam spoons in Harlem were trying to steal the hubcaps off of a moving car.

  8. Unless the participants are all-blick, there would be screams of cultural appropriation coming from the usual wet lettuces.

    Perhaps white would-be participants would take inspiration from the 1986 film Soul Man and black themselves up, don curly wigs plastered with ‘soul-glo’ hair gel for the 80s authentic breakdance look.

  9. I’ve just watched 4 minutes of competition breakdancing, and have changed my mind…it’s deeply impressive stuff! Not a sport, but jaw-droppingly good, almost defying the laws of physics!
    https://youtu.be/qvrMhdQE6zM

    • Breakdancing?….pfft.

      Not a proper sport that.
      Not like Air Guitar or Headbanging.

      And at headbanging we’d easily beat the French!
      Weak necks see?
      Known for it .

      Oh an marbles!
      Skateboarding is in there so why not marbles ?

    • Cuntengine @

      It pains me to say it,
      But that’s impressive as fuck!!

      • Indeed. It’s too good. It’d be far better with the afformentioned spaccos. Or middle-aged fat white blokes in faded Motörhead t-shirt putting in the minimum of effort.

    • We have a breakdancer in our midst.
      Cuntybollocks.

      Step forward lad,
      Don’t be shy!

      I remember you saying that you used to do breakdancing,
      Your ISACs Olympic hopefully,
      We want you out of retirement and into training.

      Sponsored by Miserable Removals😁

      • Indeed. I was in a crew and everything in the mid 80s while a kid.

        We watched ‘Breakdance’ and ‘Beat Street’ about 50 times, which made us think we were black gentlemen from the Bronx. In fact, I made my folks almost die laughing when they asked for my perfect holiday destination. I replied, ‘The Bronx’.

        We had matching outfits (sky blue hoodies, sky blue Ellesse trackie bottoms with the two white stripes on the calf and blue and white Nike ‘Jam’ trainers.

        We thought we looked cool and would make the lasses fancy us.

        Instead they pointed and laughed at us. We looked a right set of cunts. We all (I think we had 6 of us in the ‘crew’) got ‘ghetto blasters’ for Christmas. And we all walked around the streets in our cunty outfits carrying our blasters about. One lad brought his out without any batteries in Christmas Day. Said his mum will buy some when she gets her family allowance.

        We even had a travelling DJ come to the community centre (where we would spin and flap about like bellends to Electro albums). He was gonna make us famous and get us to travel around with him doing shows, but our parents reckoned he might have been a bit dodgy.

        Aye, if they make a seniors category I’ll go for gold. Although when drunk about 15 years ago, I was persuaded to do some breaking in a pub (some cunt put ‘Street Dance’ on the jukebox.) Knocked a barstool over and me back hurt for days. Got told to ‘grow up’ off the landlord too. Everyone laughing at me MNC, I thought I was going to cry.

        But yes, if I do go for the senior Olympic Breakdancing gold, it will be worth every bit as much as the ones won by Coe and Ovett and all.

        Get to fuck and Beat Street breakdown…Ruh!

  11. Some Paralympians have been breakdancing for years. For them it’s known as ‘walking’.

    • Recent display of female breakdancing at Arthur’s seat in Edinburgh.

      I was the only one clapping.

  12. If Harvey Price lost a few pounds he’d take some beating.
    It’d be another nice little earner for mummy too.

  13. Presumably they won’t be accompanied by a “ghetto blaster”? You’d never get away with that these days……that’s raaaaaaaaaaaaay-sist, don’t you know?

  14. it doesn’t bother me too much. if you look at some of the gymnastic events in the Olympics at the moment especially the one where you have women p0ncibg about on a gym mat with a cheerleader stick waving it around, jumping around and generally looking like an idiot.

    give it another 4 years and expect to see synchronized bean flicking, mens deep rimming and the 100 meter dash with Peter files chasing 10 year olds.

    • As Jesus moaned on the cross: “What a way to spend Easter…”

      They left that bit out of the Bible.
      No sense of humour, them cultist nut-jobs.

    • He was also heard shouting to the fellow on the next cross

      I can see my house from here

  17. I wonder if that cunt J@y Blades (MBE) will be one of the Team GB competitors.
    He’s obviously so multitalented.

  18. What about Northern Soul dancing? Have these cunts never heard of “levelling up”?

  19. My Inuit neighbour has competed in the Olympics. His event is the North Pole vault….

  21. It would be hilarious if the winner of this ridiculous event, was an epileptic.

    Seriously, it reminded me of a period in my life when I was part of a group of people who shared a flat and one of the girls suffered with epilepsy. We would take it in turn, to supervise her when she took a bath. If she had a fit, we would sound the alarm and everybody would collect their dirty washing and throw it in the bath. Sorry, but times were hard in the old days.

  22. Oh well, why not?

    Bring on ballroom dancing, roller skating, hang gliding, ludo, tiddleywinks, billiards and snooker, spelling, blow football and cheese-rolling.

    Ane how about adding dingypaddling to the rowing section?

    Ho hum. Morning all.

    • No medals for dinghy paddling…….just a load of do gooders handing out phones, Nike trainers, electric scooters…..while wiping away their fake tears.

      • Thousands of potential entrants to the event tho. Winning crew get British passports, benefits for life, and all the white schoolgirls they can abuse.

  25. Bradford council want to put in a demo event.

    The Grooming Taxi Sprint

    I think it’s racist because all the drivers will be ‘of Pakistani heritage’ and all passengers with 14 year old girls (real ones) and white.

  26. We could have the Olympic slag race.

    How many fellas can you shag in one day?

    Katie Price would clean up. She can fit 100 fellas in at once. You’d need to chain Harvey up though, he doesn’t want to get off mummy.

  29. I’m hoping to be included in the next Olympics as part of the British silent tennis team.
    It’s just like normal tennis but without the racket….

  30. The ancient Olympics was a religious festival that included poetry, sculpture and rhetoric as well as athletics. Abolished by humourless Christian twats in the later Roman Empire as it didn’t fit in with their ‘values.’

    The modern neoliberal scum who rule us and their pet Wokies want to destroy much of what the Olympic spirit, both ancient and modern, stands for. Who the fuck thinks spazzing out to shit music is equivalent to running a Marathon?

    Utter cunts.

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