The Scientific Veracity of Meteorology

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I would like to cunt the “science” of meteorology or more generally, the notion of a 2023 “Beast From The East”.

I make this nomination on the 2nd of March 2023 at 16:30pm in the English NW Midlands whilst looking out of the window at a clear blue sky with some wispy clouds in the distance. The temperature is currently 7 degrees Celsius (admittedly colder than usual).

Since late January we have been hearing non-stop, sensationalist reports of a return of the 2018 “Beast From the East” and yet so far, I’ve not even noticed a tingle or chill in my already tight ball sack. There is a reason for the disconnect between the reports and the reality…… that’s because it’s complete bollocks.

The reports of snow storms in the UK have been as follows:

– Snow between 2nd and 7th of February…. 8 inches of snow expected.
No, scratch that!
– Snow from the 12th of February…..
No, scratch that!
– Snow from the 17th of February to…..
No, scratch that!
– Snow from the 19th of February to…..
No, scratch that!
– Snow from anywhere between late February and early March…..
No, scratch that!
– Snow anywhere between the 5th of March to the 17th of March….
No, scratch that!
– Maybe snow between the 3th of March to the 14th of March.

I even saw reports of “temperatures PLUMMETING to…… between 5 – 9 degrees” ….. I’m not kidding; some cunt actually wrote that in a “news” article.

SPOILER ALERT!

There is not going to be any snow in Britain until November/December 2023 at the very earliest.

I consider myself a scientifically-minded person but even I have to question at this point, the scientific veracity of meteorology and “climate science”.

If I want to know what the weather is going to do in 3 days, I could just wait …..or I could just read some tea leaves, throw some chicken bones onto a rug or maybe kill a goat and read it’s entrails.

Meteorology and climate “science” can eat a bag of dicks.

Express Weather 1  (January 31st)

Express Weather 2 (February 20th)

(To be fair to Stink, he provided a host of relevant links that show the progression of the so-called “Beast from the East 2” being constantly postponed. However, we just went with the earliest and latest ones – Day Admin)

Nominated by: Two In The Stink 

BBC Weather

Helpful link supplied by: Jeezum Priest

76 thoughts on “The Scientific Veracity of Meteorology”

  1. True.

    Despite many millions of pound’s worth of equipment you can’t predict with any certainty what the weather will be like tomorrow.

    However, climate change enthusiasts can absolutely predict what will happen over the next hundred years.

    “There is a 50% chance of rain tomorrow”.

    That means it might rain, it might not.
    Brilliant!
    Thank you for that.

    • Yep – Years ago all that was available was data from a few land based weather stations, some what were called weather ships and a bit of info from nearby countries. Today they have hundreds of satellites and computer models galore. Admittedly, the computer models have been written by humans (just like the so-called fucking climate change models!), but their “forecasts” are little better. What a great job – big wonga for not much better than a fucking guess.
      Quite right about the 50% chance of meat-balls thing! Makes me laugh when I hear that fucking dozy cow on BBC – take “sunshine and showers” phrase out of her vocabulary and she would be lost for words!
      If I want a decent idea of the local weather tomorrow, I look at the weather chart myself and remember the wise words of my old geography master. I get it right more often than the local boys.

  2. and the BBC report was absolutely spot on!

    I had a highly entertaining day on Friday, watching people desperately trying to get their vehicles off their drives. Some (most) were copper bottomed twats who didn’t care who or what they blocked with the shovelled snow, as long as they could drive off.

    • Just been reading an article on the Great Sheffield Tree Massacre, JP.

      What utter cunts!

      • Purely financial, looking after mature trees in an urban environment may cost lots of money and require skilled arborists to carry out work in the canopy. Much easier and cheaper to the contractor to get rid of as many as possible and plant a load of saplings to replace the felled trees. Anyone can look after them and by the time they reach maturity the contractor will be long long gone, fucking up other streetscapes or dead. Sheffield liebour council you are cunts of the highest order

      • To make matters worse, a lot of the newly planted saplings were vandalised before they had a chance to get established, so that was money well spent.

        The report, which was due to be published this week, seems to have been swept under the carpet, along with several hundred weight of chippings from mature, healthy trees.

      • Got to keep those 5G waves on the correct horizontal trajectories.Absolute satanic grade evil gone down in that neck of the….stumps.

  3. The forecasts for the last few days up here the Lakes were all doom, gloom and 30ft of snow bombs!

    The reality was 2mm of snow on low ground and perhaps an inch up on the Fells. And by last night it all had been washed away by rain anyway!

    I suppose the climate nutjobs would have blamed climate change for the former; and then gone onto blame climate change for the latter.

    There’s no happy medium with these cunts.

    • We had about 4-6 inches in my part of Sheffield with some areas of the city having significantly more than that.

  4. Whilst I agree with Stink’s reasoning this does, with the benefit of hindsight, feel like the ISAC equivalent of ‘there will not be a hurricane.’

    • I remember hearing a weather bloke from an Aussie radio station talking about his job some years ago.

      He said he had the softest job in the world. Just turned up every day and said ‘today it’s going to be sunny, with temperatures in the 80s’.

  7. I suppose snow will be deemed racist in badly affected areas of Britain containing the usual diverse cultures.

  8. We had about three hours of moderate snowfall here in Suffolk on Thursday.
    And it’s been fucking cold for about three weeks now.
    Several nights temperature has dropped well below freezing.
    Agree that forecasts are mostly bollocks though.

  9. I use the Met office weather app and I find it pretty reliable. It updates regularly and revises the forecast, and I have saved myself a drenching, and made the most of an opportunistic dry day amongst the shite weather.

    • Also, this nom didn’t age very well, as plenty of snow has fallen in the past week, and although it was hardly Armageddon, it did stick in quite a few places.

  10. Not much has changed in meteorology since Michael Fish failed to predict the great storm of 1990.

    This is strange because there are more geostationary and polar orbiting satellites than formerly so forecasts should be more accurate. I think the issue is that raw data from these satellites and other sources are fed into computer models. These are quite good at predicting weather in the short term but over greater periods small errors creep in and these are magnified by the model and the forecast deviates. It’s like the butterfly effect. I suggest the same effect has magnified the effect of global warming as well, distorting and magnifying the problem so that environmentalists start screaming about us having 6 months to save the planet. Nonsense.

    And by the way, John Kettley is a weatherman,
    and so is Michael Fish
    and so is Billy Giles
    and so is Ian McGaskill
    so is Wincy Willis.

  11. Some snow with wind and cold is now know as a Weather Bomb.

    A cold front is now a Beast.

    Winter weather,summer weather all comes with alerts now.

    All across the media sensationalism is the norm,all for the sake of a headline and to scare a few grannies.

    Weathermen can Fuck Off.

    • Weathergirls can fuck off as well. I remember them predicting it would rain men. It never happened. Yet another dodgy forecast.

  12. The snow is okay.
    It’s one of the few things that settles in Britain and doesn’t expect a hotel room and benefits….

  13. I have a theory about all the flooding in California. The drainage system is clogged with tarps and syringes.

  14. I’d laugh if St Greta of Loadamoney, ended up buried in an avalanche and froze to death!

    Her final breath would probably have been “This is due to climate change. How very dar…..”

  15. The media exaggerate everything these days. Any scandal, any mishap, any iffy statement, any incongruity, any disappointment, any unexpected outcome – and the weather is no different. It gets cold in winter, it snows, but in Britain, you have to go back quite a long way to when winter snow storms caused a crisis. I was only three when the Big Freeze winter of 1962-63 hit Britain, we have photos of us playing in the snow prior to Christmas, but on 30th December, my uncle Freddy died walking home from his work during a massive blizzard. His body was found 20 feet from a petrol station. He must have been seeking shelter but never made it and his body was discovered on January 2nd.

    Poor uncle Freddy, he was such a kind man, according to mum. In all my years, I have never heard of someone dying in a snow blizzard in Britain, our winters have been pretty mild since 1978-79, that is the only one I remember as being brutal. My car got stuck on a country road on Boxing Day that year and just as the Sun was setting and panic was setting in, tractor lights shone from behind me and I was towed onto the motorway! Cars in those days had crap heating and I had no food, no phone obviously, I was only 3 miles from the motorway, but I had on party clothes, heels. In the age of the mobile phone that level of panic rarely sets in to people, being in a dark, freezing remote place isn’t as scary in 2023 as it was in even 1993. Kids today don’t know real danger, real fear, that’s why they overreact to trivial, inconvenient situations, not getting what they want instantly and many don’t know the glories of nature, they view life through a screen, through media and that leads to a deadening of the senses and the soul.

    Spring and Summer can’t come quick enough!

    • My condolences also on losing your uncle that way Maggie. I’m a few years older than you and I well remember the ’63 winter which also saw off my paternal grandmother. We carried on with life, father walked to work, my two siblings and I walked to school without adult supervision. We also used to have proper fog in the olden days. I have walked the mile and a half home from school when the fog has been so thick I literally could only just see my feet when I looked down. When I see these amber and red warnings appear on the tele I can’t help but think next time we have a ’63 winter it will be armageddon in this country.

  16. There are a number of private weather “companies”* vying for publicity and feeding shit to willing media (Express, Mirror) who add their own brand of hyperbole.
    The Met office are pretty good these days, including this week.

    *Probably just some guy in his Mother’s bedroom.

    • Didn’t the guy who started The Weather Channel (shown in USA and UK, and beyond?) get cancelled or shat on for denying climate change? I think he died a year after getting shat on.

    • I remember that Jack.

      The local TV mast blew over. So we got repeats of Only Fools and Horses all day. Fortunately they were the good earlier ones wih Granddad in them.

      Also, didn’t Gorden Kaye (Bernard from Coronation Street and Rene from Allo Allo) get badly hurt when a tree went through his car?

      Fish looked a right cunt the day after, didn’t he?🤣

      • How well i remember that one.I was a trade-plater at the time coming back from Bristol but ended up on the A34 somehow,near the Andover turning,trying to get to Manchester (via hitchhiking tradeplate style).

        .3 hours later and no chance in hell for a lift. Very eerie situation as many artics had unbeknownst to me,flipped over and blocked the DC further down.

        The conditions got increasingly hellish as darkness descended and i ended up sheltering till the morning in a kiddies,tree-house in a local pubs garden until a lift arrived the next morning in the shape of a French Car-Transporter driver who nobly dropped me off at Didcot rail station with a pack of his Gitanes.

        Never been so close to hypothermia as in the preceeding hours of the Great Storm.Marvellous memories from an unusual perspective.

  18. Also people don’t interpret forecasts correctly. They see “snow” as a headline and don’t really look at the detail properly.

  21. You’ve got to feel sorry for Michael Fish.

    He will now be always be known as the bloke who downplayed/ignored the Great Storm of 1987. And yer all he was was a mouthpiece for what the Met Office had forecast at the time.

    I have a couple of friends who live in Canada, and they’re forever taking the piss when I post them comments about the 5mm of snow we had. They come back with pictures with their neighbourhood a foot deep (sometimes a lot of more) in snow, and yet they seem to manage like it was just a normal ordinary day!

  22. That chirpy scotch bint on BBC breakfast irritates me no end with her hoochy Mc spew weather forecasts plus, after she finished lying to us a fucking local weather bint does the same.

    So apart from linekar’s 1.4 million quid how much and how many weather “presenter’s are there on the bb fucking C…why do we need them when a simple search on your phone will give you the weather report.

    I think time this load of wastrels should be fucked of as well as all the sports pundits.. especially that fat lesbian BALDING…..🤬

    • Very significant point you raise there John. The BBC in their wisdom gave up using the Met Office forecasts purely to save money yet they pay out big wedges to moronic talking (or in some cases grunting) heads without any qualms. Although no longer officially part of the MOD they are the only source of weather data used by the military and in fact nearly all of their UK reporting stations are on RAF bases.When I was flying regularly we only took weather info from the Met Office. When you’re up there in a single engine aeroplane you really, really want to know what the weather is going to be in the area you are heading for!

      • Super stuff John! That level of detail on wind speed and direction would be of immense interest to a pilot of a light aircraft. Might I ask what pastime you are engaged in when you’re out?

      • Hangliding in my youth! Paragliding now I’m an old fart and can’t carry hangi’s up big hills anymore or walk out with them from XC Landings.

        Paras just pack up in a big rucksack so easy to store,carry but not as much fun or as safe, but beats watching homes under the hammer like a lot of old farts do…😁

      • Good for you mate, great stuff! Used to see the lads on hang gliders going off the Malverns when I was up over Worcestershire. Obvious now why you are interested in the wind. Don’t think I’d have the nerve for it. In the Cessna it’s a great comfort when you push the throttle forward and the nose rises immediately. Also the handling is very docile so unless you’re clumsy enough to get into an inverted flat spin you can reaonably expect to walk away! Keep it up, enjoy yourself!

  24. Psychology pays better than meteorology for the same thing. If you’re wrong there is no repercussions. It’s making the best guess and getting paid for it. The weather presenters simply read what computers spit out anyway. Psychologists just say it’s your Dad’s or societies fault- anything but your own damn fault that you’re mental.

  25. How refreshing to have Match of the Day without some squawking tart doing the commentary and I’m talking about that cunt Jonathan Pearce, not biscuit factory fodder Alex Scott or one of the other dreadful women 🤣

  26. I don’t watch the weather.
    It never snows here, gets a bit cold for a few days, very occasionally rains.
    Blue skies and 26°c today. Life’s a bitch.

  27. Snowflakes everywhere.
    We used to call them “melts”.
    I just wish they would melt.
    🧐

  28. Back in 2000 some cunt of a professor at EAU trumpeted NO MORE SNOW,climate change…….
    Somebody tells fibs.

    • Same institution was caught fiddling the figures on “climate change” of course. That came back to bite them in the arse! Hehehe!

  29. In 1976, 1983, 1995 and even 2018, when we got hot weather, everybody lapped it up.
    But when we got a short heatwave last year, there were all these knobends (especially on the BBC) bitching about climate bollocks. Climate change, my arse. It’s always been the same here in Blighty: fucking freezing, then it warms up near Easter, and we get a really warm few days/weeks in the Summer if we are lucky. I fucking loathe these woke fuckheads. They are so fucking humourless and offended by everything, they can’t even enjoy sunshine.

    Mind you, summer weather or no, the British holiday/tourist industry will be all but dead soon enough. What with hotels and seaside towns infested with human filth and dinghy scum. You know, Gary’s friends…. Redcoat rapists and terrorist coach tours? Can’t see it catching on. No matter how much jug lugs claims to love them…

    • I take it all these places are nearby to gary watermelon Lineker?

      Nay course not.
      Don’t want to ruin the neighbourhood.

    • The once lovely Newquay now filled with human filth and he rapist training scheme. Devon and Dorset will be next. The English Riviera turned into a third world shithole and a rapists lair….

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