Guy Martin

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I think a high-speed, high-octane cunting is due for that professional Northerner, Guy Martin. Except maybe it won’t be high-octane.

I used to like Martin as he seemed to be a down to earth “mechanic by day, racer at the weekend” kind of chap who made this country what it was (not how it is now).

However, I started to wonder about him when I heard him whingeing about everything at the Northwest 200 a few years back – apparently, he wasn’t doing well because of the bike, because of the weather, etc. Funny how other racers on lesser bikes managed in the same crappy weather.

However, to cap it all, he seems to have now sold out his soul to the green lunatics in, what will invariably be, wind good/fossil bad type of program

I suspect the usual TV execs will be wanking themselves stupid as they have found a real-life northern engineer type (despite him actually only being a mechanic) who thinks that renewables are really going to save the day.

So, fuck off Martin you twat. I hope you have a blowout at top speed and the battery powered ambulance hasn’t got enough charge to come and get you.

Channel 4

Nominated by Lord Cuntingford

59 thoughts on “Guy Martin”

  1. Only watched him once in some Spitfire restoration thing. Seemed down to earth and got his hands dirty, but, when he got excited you needed fucking subtitles!

  4. I watched the first episode of this and wasn’t particularly impressed.

    Appears that Mr Martin has sold his soul to the green devil.

    How appropriate that such bollocks should be aired on Channel Four-Skin.

    Fred Dibnah will be spinning in his grave.

  5. Just for Clarification-Lincolnshire is officially in the East Midlands-therefore, Mr Martin is not an official Northerner😉

    Fred Dibbah, who’s steel toe capped boots, Guy Martin isn’t fit to lace, was👍

    • Fred Dibnah made me laugh. He wore a filthy old cap he never removed and wondered why he got a disease of the scalp.

      • Fred wasn’t a noisy cunt. When demolishing a chimney, he’d remove bricks from the base and build a wooden support, then set fire to it.

      • They had been doing stuff like that for a thousand years or more. It was how you and your mates got into a castle when the incumbents hadn’t invited you.

      • Fred Dibnah was a true legend of these shores and a proper Northerner.

        What a grafter.
        Climbing to the top of and knocking down, 200 ft chimneys, brick by brick, bare handed without any safety equipment, in all weather.

        Pint of bitter and a cheese sandwich at dinner and back up.the ladder.

        Told a good story and had an eye for the women.

        Fuck knows what he’d make of the modern woke era if he was still around.

        Take a bow Sir Fred.

      • Old Fred got on Dessert lsland discs. What a pleasure. Must listen to it again soon.

      • you wouldn’t have liked to live next door to the fucker, steam hammer going full tilt at 10 o’clock in the evening, plus the twat dug a pit shaft in his garden ….

    • I met Fred one night in the Ukrainian club in Bolton back in the early 80’s, funny bloke, full of stories.

      • Wish I could’ve listened to him. Bet he talked about his love for fairground tractors.

      • I don’t really remember but he was fascinating, some of the stories were enough to make your hair stand in end.

    • I’m glad you cleared up the Northener thing because Lincolnshire’s not the proper north, even Grimsby which is where he was born. Number one punchable Northener right now must be Paddy McVimto, word strangling gobshite that he is. Brian Blessed’s purposeless yet permanent incurable shouting puts him high on the list too.
      Widnes for the cup!

  6. Don’t give a monkeys about the likes of these noisy twats on machines, well, that make a lot of FUCKING NOISE !!! They are akin to the wasp. What the fuck are they on this earth for ?

    • Good ‘eavens Sammy, these guys are lapping the Isle of Man at 130mph which means on the straight bits they are doing 200mph. What more could you want out of life?

      • Just got in from a quiet cycle ride along the promenade after doing some shopping. Yes, arfubrain. It doesn’t matter what they do over there, so long as they don’t disturb me over here.

  7. Cunts to busy trying to be a working class good old boy for me . Wouldn’t be so bad if he spoke English.

  8. Yes, I thought the same so I didn’t bother watching this. I like him, I’ve seen all his other shows but I thought fuck you mate. Plugging electric shite. I thought he was a proper petrol head but obviously he’s sold his soul. Cunt.

    • Same here. If this green stuff worked and was economically sound they wouldn’t have to make up bs on the likes of Channel 4 and get people like this to flog it to us

  9. I dont agree. Getting paid for being on telly and telling eco cunts what they want to hear. His programme on nuclear was eyewatering in terms of cost to build. He reads viz comic so is ok in my simple world.

  10. Anyone who can lap the TT course at over 130mph is ok in my book, even though he ends every sentence twice, every sentence twice….🏍️

    • I looked him up and he immediately had my nerves on edge with the repetitive right, you know what I mean, right.

  11. There are far worse cunts around than Mr. Martin, who at least gets his hands dirty. While old pudding fuckface Starmer, and his puppeteers Mandy and Blair remain breathing Guy is well down the list

  12. I have met Guy a couple of times and my company has dealt with him a bit.
    He and I have had a very interesting chat about automotive engineering and the projects I oversee.
    A thoroughly nice chap, although I’m a little concerned about him getting involved in green gayness.
    Hopefully he’ll re-see the light – that piston-engined vehicles are fantastic and electric vehicles are for benders and pretentious tosspots.

  14. Well known fact Guy has mental health issues
    He is not a full shilling still a good honest bloke
    though.He worked at the same place as one of my cousins “Ian Moody International” a mechanic (Heavy Motor Technician) to give them their proper job titles.I’m from Nottinghamshire (Mansfield) last time I looked it was in the North so I’m a Northerner not a midlander thanks 👍
    If Guy has gone green that’s upto him no one else’s business He’s a well respected bloke and has done well for himself this cunting is not justified 👎👎

    • Should a man with mental health issues really be working on HGV’s?
      Might throw a wobbly and forget to tighten up the wheels

      • Asperger’s Syndrome mate probably my bad use of words 👍
        If VOSA can trust him do do a good repair I think We all can 👍👍

      • Had my works van serviced last year.
        Driving down the motorway it starts juddering like fuck. Stopped immediately, felt the wheel nuts, all sixteen hand tight only. What useless fucking cunts. My company pulled them on it and they said ” how do you know someone didn’t loosen them on his driveway”. More top cuntery!

  16. I’ve seen how pathetic these electric cars are first hand. One where I work needs to go on charge after driving from Croydon to the Surrey-Sussex border in order to get back home.

    Faggut-mobiles

    • They go well, though. My mate’s got one and it accelerates like a Tomcat off a carrier’s catapult.

      • Giving your age away there DCI. The F14s were retired a few years ago but I sometimes put YT on the big screen to watch them being launched. Never tire of the spectacle of them being thrown towards the end of the ship at 6g. Seeing the F35s taking off from the Queen Elizabeth is not nearly so exciting.

        As for the acceleration of electric cars from a standstill, well that’s the advantage of electric motors, full torque at zero revs. Trouble is the batteries are still crap and will remain so.

      • Certainly am, arfur. Opening sequence of ‘Top Gun’ was brilliant! To be fair, the mileage I do, I could have an electric car, but, I’d rather have my little sports car. Fuel costs are negligible for me, plus, it’s got soul.

      • Yeah, but so would my little car. (With its bigish engine). Maybe not as few miles as an electric, but the principle’s the same.

      • Not striking today?

        (Don’t start this again please! – Day Admin)

      • Fuck off, you dense, shit-stirring, simpering, window-licking, know fuck-all cunt. You add fuck-all to this site, and, I’d wager you’ve been banned, before. Deny it, Fuck-Tongue. You hang around like the smell of a rotting corpse with less charisma, and less use. Fuck off back behind your bike shed. Somewhere in Worcestershire. Or ruislip, Hate-filled Jeffery.

        Please, do take it personally.

        (Admin, do what you feel is necessary, I’ll take it on the chin. I’ll not use the ‘Mr Grimsdale’ option, but, it’s shit-stirring wankers like this that are causing well respected Cunters to leave).

  17. He’s a total fucking tool and I’d like to slap those lamb chop sideburns off.

  20. I watched his programmes about UK energy.

    He wasn’t particularly cuntish.

    He criticised the way that wind farms are paid.
    Apparently if there is no wind to produce power they are paid the same anyway.

    He also criticised the infrastructure of electricity suppliers.
    The cables to pylons need upgrading to carry more power, but that would make them too heavy.
    The power companies say that burying the cables underground would be too expensive.

    Having sideburns and a northern accent means that he registers slightly on my cuntometer.
    But not too bad as to make my shit itch.

  21. Strangely enough I like Guy as a racer. His crash at the TT a few years back was fucking legendary, and he limped away from it. Got to admit he’s a fucking piss poor loser, but anyone who takes part in that lunatic race has the right to be anything they fucking want to be!

      • I’d say he’s a good bloke and a petrolhead who’s embracing the fame he has found to make a better than average living and, if the media luvvies that he’s contracted with want him to do ZYZ, I don’t blame him for staying on the gravy train.

        I haven’t watched this latest offering from him, as I avoid BBC/political/save the planet/etc crap but somebody told me he says in the last episode something along the lines of “all power sources have their good and bad points” so it’s not like he’s gone the full Greta on this. He’s just following the money while it lasts I don’t blame him. Let’s hope he gets famous enough that he can pick and choose his roles and turn sh1te like this down in the future.

      • Well done giving us that Mikdys. Fancy running up a Merlin on a trailer in a field! Fucking magnificent!

        As for selling out, my wife works in accountancy and a few years ago had peripheral dealings with one of these talking heads who present these brainless quiz programmes on peak time television. Even she was amazed at the amount paid to this twat for each programme he fronted. Put it this way, The amount of potential prize money on the show was a small fraction of what the gobshite was paid to gurn and talk vapid drivel. For a much smaller sum I would happily propagate that the world is flat and the sky is pink.

      • Thanks – interesting point about the “quiz shows”. I often wonder how much “celebrities” are paid to appear on “charity quiz shows”. The charity ends up winning a few hundred, or a few thousand if they are really lucky, but I’ll bet the celebrities are pocketing 10’s of thousands while appearing to be selfless charity supporters. That has to be the red line on selling out IMO.

  23. Spitfire, Lancaster, Vulcan, WW1 tank, and dogfighting an ME109 in a Hurricane.
    The only cunt I’d call him is a lucky cunt.

  25. Here in NZ we had a cyclone hit the northern east coast just like in 1938 but then they didn’t have EV’s. This time all the EV’s were useless, they go on fire when flooded and with no electricity they could not be charged. What saved so many lives? not electric emergency vehicles but vehicles running on the tears of the fucking Greenies.
    Anybody into the CO2 BS is just a pea brained parrot, wanker.

    https://co2coalition.org/facts/

  26. And he owns a rolls royce merlin engine in full working order. Stick that up your cunt greta and get that hymen breached, or balls tickled.

  27. Samuel L Jackson…is going to play the part of Fred Dibnah… a joint project with Quintet Tarrantino and Guy Ritchie …”ere , eeby gum muthafxxxr, and ‘ere shit neegro,’ tha should have said so laad”…

  28. Worst two professional northeners are those cunts, Peter Kay and Paddy McGuinness. All that ‘Are yer ‘avin’ a brew’ and ‘Ey up,floower’ bollocks.
    Caricatures, the pair of them…

    • I’ve met that shithead McGuinness Norman and I can confirm he is in the highest echelons of look at me everybody I’m so up my own arse but I’m only here cos I’m hangin off Peter Kay’s coattails cuntitude on this paltry planet.
      I’m glad his wife got away from him, she probably saw what an absolute gobshite he really is

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