The recent stuff about Roald Dahl and the “sensitivity readers” got me thinking.
If I’m employed as a sensitivity reader and I keep passing books I’ve read, it seems to me, sooner or later, some cunt is going to say……why are we paying this bloke to find naughty and offensive things and he never finds them? Let’s get rid of the cunt! So, I’m out of a job! Fuck that!
Similarly, if I am a “diversity officer” and everything is wonderful. There is no discrimination or racism of any kind….that’s what I put in my monthly report. Again, some wokie cunt will say why are we paying this wanker when he can’t see any problems and spends three hours in the pub every day? ( which I would be to be fair)
No, I’m not that dumb. I know if everything is hunky dory I’m out of my cushy job. If I can’t find a problem I have to invent one. It’s called the self fulfilling prophecy.
Nominated by: Freddie the Frog
(More info about Dahl here. Day Admin – BBC News )
Nailed it in one I’d say. This is just another thing that’s turned itself into an industry.
Morning all.
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Sometimes I like to bonk people over the head with my willy while they’re sleeping.
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You are Tom Daley’s husband and I claim my fiver.
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How did you know?!
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Excuse me, I know I’m naive, but(t) what does your comment mean? Is ‘willy’ your live-in lover? If so, your lack of capitalisation seems remarkably disrespectful.
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I hanker after the days when an employer would demonstrate its woke, diversity credentials by taking on a ginger.
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With thick glasses
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and b.o.
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Tick the box, find an issue where non exists and pick up the cash at te end of the month.
All bollocks, all they do is run diversity and inclusion courses, encourage biased employee selection processes, sensitivity training, put up posters advertising Rama dingdong and divalawali, sooty history month.
The only thing you never see is anything to do with white.
Cunts
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Re – Authors of children’s books.
Little known fact:
Winnie-the-Pooh author AA Milne had a little brother called AAA Milne….
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A warm welcome back to JR’s one-liners!
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Yaaaa he’s back!!
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The battery boys were the Krays.
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I’ve heard of him: he had the same potential but there was a certain lack of capacity.
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Derek and Clive would get the horn on nouns, such as “this” and “that”. It seems like they’ve been given the job.
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Bit fackin’ provocative!
Jokes aside, I was talking to a good mate in the week who’s a fellow Derek and Clive enthusiast about how they’d be received in today’s day and age.
The line “that huge n***er who lives down the road. Ephraim, innit?” never fails to amuse me!
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CLIVE : You know that big nîgger who lives down the road?
DEREK: Him? Yeah. Oh, lovely.
CLIVE: Huge black cunt. I said, I said to him, I said, um, Ephraim, strange name for a black, innit? I said there’s a load of cunts down the BBC and they need sorting out. I said, um, this should appeal to your fucking primitive urges cos I said you like cannibalism, don’t you? You like eating people alive in a frying pan. I said, go round to the BBC with some of your mates dressed up in your loincloths and that, and, er, paint yourselves up in different colours or whatever you cunts do back in Africa. And so he said, er, oh, it’s nice, that and he, he, he said what do we do when we arrive? I said, go beserk, tear the fucking place down.
DEREK: Yes, spunk all over the fucking centre.
CLIVE: Spunk all over the Director General and kill everyone in the studios, you know, and, um, he was all, you know, he got about forty of these côons gathered together to rush round to the BBC. And I was really looking forward to it. I was looking forward to tuning in to the news that night and seeing the news on the BBC. The BBC had being burnt to the fucking ground.
DEREK: Yeah. Yeah. Four… forty thousand.
CLIVE: I turned on the Nine O’clock News. There was Kenneth Kendall, calm as a cucumber. No story about anything burning to the fucking ground. And do you know what the cunt, black, nîgger poof, cunt said when he came back?
DEREK: No?
CLIVE: “Oh, I’m sorry. I couldn’t find it.”
DEREK: No!
CLIVE: “I lost my way”, he said.
😂
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This nom sums up the whole race/diversity/woke industry.
It was a work of pure genius to find that ‘field’ was racist in Yank academia. And of course once you have come up with ‘unconscious bias’ you are on a winner.
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Precisely. On thin ice here but the same as symptomless illness.
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The tide is turning-useful idiots are being dumped off.
Trump will make them pay.
MWHA-HA-HA👍
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Roald Dahl books are butchered by sensitivity readers over calling someone fat or greedy but its totally fine to give young kids of primary school age books on BDSM and masturbation.
Like the mental health grift, diversity and inclusion has morphed into an entire industry. Lets face it though, these cunts would be unemployable in the real world.
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The cunts have edited the James Bond novels.
Feed the soft cunts to the sharks.
Then stroke a p.ussy.
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I can’t believe it, in the next film James Bond is going to be transgender.
It’ll be called Cocktopussy.
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When a Diversity Officer started at my firm I was tasked with getting the business more involved with Pride Month, but I totally misunderstood.
Does anyone want to buy fifteen lions?
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….or a loaf of your mother’s.
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Towards the end of my ‘working’ life I had to endure those twin towers of shit, Inclusivity and Diversity ( but, sadly, never perversity) and it always struck me that the two seemed mutually exclusive. Twats (one in particular who we christened ‘The Guv’nor’) would stand in front of whiteboards telling us how they felt ‘passionately’ about pointless initiatives and ‘urging’ us to ‘get onboard’. I hated the bastards down to their Quisling bones. We should have a Nuremberg Trial of all these slime balls before hanging the lot on a whitegallows.
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Why bother with the trouble of a trial?
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Is it still OK to call people cunts? Or is some bed wetter going to have a case of the vapours? If so too fucking bad.
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So very glad I left corporate employment before this shite storm began. Nowadays I would be sacked and imprisoned for the heinous crime of fitting a couple of urinals on the wall of the new bosses office to give him a cottage experience as he was well known as a puddle jumper with a penchant for youngish men.
The urinals were for decoration only (no plumbing). Fuck me how times change.
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Merit is no longer the primary consideration. Skin color, political views, what you like to fuck, gender, blah-fucking-blah.
The reason I don’t have any blacks in my employ is because it happens that nome have applied. Ami I supposed to go out and find one to be in compliance?
I don’t have any H0m0z either because frankly I’m not comfortable around them.
Fuck this diversity bullshit!
You got the skills? Got a decent ethic? You’re hired. It’s not complicated.
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Racist !
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I have in the past done accounts for a self employed diversity adviser. They charged 4 figures a day for their services. When I enquired into whether they had to ‘qualify’ like a solicitor or accountant and whether there was any professional body monitoring them, it appears not (or wasn’t then a couple of years ago).
Very good money to tell people what they should do.
However, I did bump into them a couple of months back and they were very worried as there main clients were nearly all earmarking it as a area they would be cutting back on to save money.
I expect it will carry on in the public sector though where the taxpayer has to foot the bill!
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Once upon a time useless coppers would find themselves “back on traffic.”
Now, it seems, they are promoted to Diversity Officers. Divs for short.
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Every day we import more w*gs. That means more diversity and along with it comes more diversity officers and , by extension , more raaaaaay-sism and unconscious bias. It’s an industry which creates its own problems. For some reason we have to adjust to their cultures not them to ours.
But don’t worry, The Suntan Kid is in Paris today with a big bag of our money to give to our French pals to solve the problem………….again.
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Somebody I know was joking that though he only had 5 employees, his office lady was a overweight black disabled lesbian, so she on her own ticked all the diversity boxes!! That was before the Trannies become a major issue!.
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Need hanging!
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Just read that the Ukraine health service is more efficient than the NHS. I fear the headline is one of the reasons. Fucking freeloaders everyone one, all diverse apart from the throat cutters.
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Fuck me I’m depressed
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#metoo!!
I need a holiday… I wonder if Baron Fiddler is running some sort of “wellness” retreat? I imagine landscaping like Cragside, barrels of ale and Malmsey, shower cubicles fashioned after Gemma Arterton’s naughty bits, and Chubby Charlotte running the “Extra Pillow” service. Left-over game pie and Imperial Stout for breakfast.
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Great cunting Freddie.
Sort of encapsulates everything about ‘victim culture’ whether that was intended or not although I rather suspect it was and brings to mind the saying ‘Turkeys don’t vote for Christmas’.
Roald Dahl remains one of the greatest children’s authors of all time.
He was just a bloke with a literary gift who put it down in writing which in turn provided joy to millions of children and parents alike.
I see Penguin decided not to remove so called offensive words such as ‘ugly’.
Really. Wow. Well done, shown some back bone there.
Is there no end to how low these faceless back room Nazi’s will stoop in their efforts to trash every single bit of English culture?
Probably not.
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“Roald Dahl remains one of the greatest children’s authors of all time.”
Not forgetting he also used to put fucking big holes in Ju88s CuntyMc.
A good egg all round really.
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Hurrah! Wishy Washy has just bunged the Frenchies another half a billion to police their own country……..well, pretend to anyway.
As soon as he was out the door Macron and his pals cracked open the champagne and pissed themselves laughing. Vive L’Entente!
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Silly cunt, that smarmy garlic eating granny shagger must be crying into his croissant with laughter. My piss is at nuclear level temperature.
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Saw a female police officer today with a male flat cap and tie.
Silly bint told me she was non-binary.
Whar the fuck!!!!!!!
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Maybe she was 3ry, or a kissograms. Cardiff had stunning WPCs on horseback…
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My friend is Sarrf Arikkkkkaa runs a multi billion rand company. Had to put his illterate cledning lady on the board to satisfy quotas.
As previoysly mentioned. Efffnicks don’t like quotas. Well,they didnt when picking cotton.
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Half a fucking Billion for those fromage eating surrender monkeys to perhaps patrol the beaches? What the but but ding should have said was any cunt in a dinghy lands that’s a million off the wedge he has handed over.
Another scenario would be to say any dinghy cunt lands, guess who won’t be fishing in our water? You cunts.
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