My fellow Cunters.
For your Cuntsideration:
UK house prices-a national obsession.
They go up. They go down. Project fear racks up outright fear points by lying and spreading false news about house prices falling at the fastest rate in years…and yet:
That’s right cunters-on the whole, prices continue to rise at record rates.
Nearly 25% in the better parts of Yorkshire and 20% in the Southern Home Counties, in 12 months.
A nice house I looked at in Windermere in 2018 was available for 795k then-now it’s on the market for 1.25m.
Crazy!
There really are no winners here.
What a load of cunt👎
Nominated by: Cuntfinder General
My old mud hut in Africa is now worth £2.76 (+ACT*).
It`s a disgrace.
*African Corruption Tax
28
I emailed Lenny Henry to see if I could get you an upgrade to a dilapidated tin shack..
But he said Africa don’t need no whitey guilt money.
So you’re fucked unfortunately.
29
Yes Sam, but your £2-76 is equal to 10,000,000,000,000,000 Mugabe dollars.
12
Actually since you typed, it’s gone to;
$11,000,000,000,000,000.
Buy the time you read this, it’ll be $12,000,000,000,000,000.
…200
…300
…400
…
8
And a wheelbarrow full of the stuff, won’t buy you a loaf of bread.
4
I simply don’t understand the obsession.
Unless I plan to move then the value of my home is completely immaterial to me.
It seems that it’s really about daft cunts feeling rich because their house is worth hundreds of thousands..despite them having the anvil of a huge mortgage round their neck.
Plus I assume these same cunts delude themselves that they can live beyond their means with secured loans on the property..
It’s all a sham,but probably an integral and important part of our ramshackle economy.
Expect it to get a lot worse and in short order.
18
Of course,Abdul,Mobasa,Al Suriname etc will all need houses since their recent boat trip from France..
So both privately owned and rental prices will continue to rocket due to this thoroughly unsustainable pressure on housing stock.
CUNTS.
21
This one is about to get a free house, remember her – Shamima Begum, up the bum, had two kids, now doesn’t, now not a terrorist:
Auntie Beeb reports that she now accepts she joined a terror group. WTF did she think she joined, a barber shop quartet?
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-64222463
There’s some slippery lawyer and PR person setting us right up for her return. Watch this space, this slag will soon be back here. New name, new hair, all ‘westernised’ given a house, money and assimilation back into our country.
I bet an Asian grooming gang from the Midlands would like to get their hands on her, toss her around the room for a bit of fun and hokie pokery…
13
So would I
Am I allowed to say that.
Especially if she wears her Western baseball cap
That said, there is something to be said for her full burka that she used to rock. What was it Turkish Delight used to say ‘full of Eastern Promise “ 😃
1
Can’t help noticing that she’s gone from wearing the burka in her earlier interviews, to wearing western clothes and a baseball cap in her latest. Also looks like her hair’s been done, and her eyebrows plucked – it’s being carefully staged managed to make her look like any normal young western woman. Hopefully the public don’t fall for it, and resist calls from the wokes to let her back in the country.
2
Shamima Begum Said “I’m just so much more than ISIS”
But sadly, not a pretty face…
13
Her face is riddled with shrapnel scars, including that ball bearing imbedded in her nose, from various suicide bombing attempts that went wrong. “I’m no terrorist,” she claims. Who are you kidding?
5
Same in the States. Cunts brag about their home’s value but so what? If you sell then you’ll have to buy an overpriced replacement so what the fuck have you gained you ignorant twat?
If you have extra properties to upload then high market prices matter to you.
8
I worked hard and paid our mortgage off when I was 46…….thinking, that’s great I can now save the mortgage money for say another 10 years and retire early. Then the wife wanted to start a family (she’s younger than me by quite a lot) got pregnant and now only works a 3 days week, so I’ve saved fuck all and still working
9
You should have married an 80 billionairess,.
With a heart condition👍
4
3 days per week?
Luxury
I dream my wife would work one day a week
3
Jeesum, my Mrs used to live in Dore, has that become a shithole now? She used to live in Abberdale road South.
4
Abbeydale Road South is now like Islamabad CuntyMort. Big houses which they prefer to house their hoard. It’s case of which are they ‘haven’t’ taken over in Sheffield,
6
OK thanks mate we won’t go for a look then my Mrs will be frothing at the mouth.
6
Dronfield is nice, CM, but forget Sheffield.
It’s under 2 feet of brown, stinking sewage, which is spreading and getting deeper every day.
4
Most things go up in this country apart from your fucking salary.
15
..or my cock.
..or my wifes sex drive
8
😢
You need a holiday in the sun, old chap👍
5
Immos have their rent guaranteed by government thus making buy to let very attractive. They trash your house?……the bill goes to the Home Office no questions asked. Then there’s the rich foreign bastards buying up property they will never use to launder their dirty money and make a fat profit. Add in Air B&B……becoming a very profitable prospect with hotels filling up with dinghy rats.
When your population is increasing by a city the size of Liverpool every year house prices are only going northwards, as is the price of everything fucking else.
16
There was a cunt dropping flyers through letterboxes on one of the local estates a few months ago.
Said he/she/they were looking for a quick sale etc etc.
I seen one of these flyers for myself.
The tennant obviously thought nothing of it but the cogs were immediately turning in my brain.
Buy a house, don’t live there yourself and fill it with dinghy men.
Gradually drag the estate into a giant cesspool and fuck the people who’ve lived there for generations.
Over the odds rent guaranteed every month plus all inevitable repair costs covered by the government/Serco.
A win win if you’re a treacherous piece of fucking shit landlord with absolutely zero empathy or conscience.
17
It doesn’t matter how much your house is worth until you come to move. In this country the differences in prices across the country are what stops people moving from a low price area to a high price one. It is great for Londoners , they can move anywhere and get a bigger place.
7
Accept here.
We have a strict “no Cockneys” policy round here .
Alright treacle?
12
“Cockneys” as you call them tend to move eastwards into Essex and , these days, East Anglia. The local Carrotcrunchers don’t like it and there is much prejudice against them. However they are quickly followed by the Peacefuls and the strawchewers soon learn who the real enemy is.
Anyway even Londonstabistaners can’t afford to live in places where local cunts have country cream gates.
9
Always wanted to move from kent to suffolk…….that was 15 years ago and I could get same house as i had in kent in suffolk for about 200k less. Now prices in suffolk over those 15 years are near kent prices, so been looking at norfolk on and off for about 5 years thinking about the one last move, and now norfolk prices are nearing what I have in kent.
Don’t want to go any further north….full of fucking northerners up there.
5
Wisbech (outskirts)-lots of dooshka-dooshka’s in the towns, the enclaves are very pretty though.
All joking aside, 500k gets a beautiful rural property with land, 1m gets a fucking country estate.
You just need to learn Polish. Lithuanian. Russian. Romanian. Etc, etc, etc👍
7
C-G, if you’re from Kent, you’re proficient at all those languages. 50% of the voices you hear are gibbering away in dooshka. Any cash-in-hand/tax-avoiding scam going and these East Euro gýppós are all over it.
4
Cap M: Kent really was once the garden of England.
I fucking weep to see town after town, village after village lost.
5
C-G, the more west you go, the villages are alright. All the coastal towns were ruined years ago. Brexit arrived twenty years too late. Even the posher areas have those Goreign Food/ Romanian/Illegal fag shops which openly sell anything. Mind you, somebody told me that the Polish tat on sale here is now cheaper than it is in Poland where their inflation is 18%.
1
*Foreign food shops
1
Yeah, I heard Essex is lovely, head east.
Cold round here, always raining,
Can’t buy whelks or cockles,
People are miserable bastard’s,
Bit of a shithole to be honest!
Its like Sheffield.
9
Leave it out mate, get down here I’ll show you a right banging time..
Take me motor down baz Vegas or saafend have a look out for a bit of fluff.
4
“Have a drink, have a drive.
Go out and see what you can find…..”
You are….I claim…
Etc, etc, etc👍
4
I bet they don’t have pie and mash oop north do they?
4
Of course we do, Freddie.
We put it on a breadcake, smother it in brown sauce, makes a cracking butty.
2
We do Freddy but don’t have ‘ liquor ‘
Eel gravy isn’t it?
I fancy trying that to be honest.
Can you still get it in London?
I’m very open minded when gravys involved.
2
A customer asked me to go London to do a removal at night,
In Covent Garden.
He must of been fuckin mental.
Not a chance.
All pedestrianised,
Carrying fuckin wardrobes through crowds?
But next time I’m in London I’m going to try pie and mash with eel gravy.
3
It’s Parsley sauce you northern monkey. And it’s shit by the way.
5
Thought it was eels?
Parsley fuckin sauce?
What’s that about?!!
Fuck that I don’t want that.
I want a eel.
4
There’s no such thing as Eel sauce. Although you could probably get that Heston Blumencunt to invent it for you.
3
There is such a thing as “Eel pie” though!
As in “Aye aye! Eel pie!”
Said in a loud Cock-er-knee accent, to show them Laaanderners your bona-fide’s👍
If Peter Kay can get away with it (that Danny Baker sitcom), then I am sure you can, Mis👍
Maybe get a Pearly King outfit from “High & Mighty”, Chas n’ Dave on the van stereo-they’ll think you are their King!
“Ere’ John-lack at that facker!”
“Leave it aaaaht! That’s Mis-one of yer aaaahn, e is!”
🤔
9
I’m a softy southerner, and can confirm it is referred to as liquor……like has been said, it’s a fucking awful parsley sauce made with cornflour.
There is however, an eel pie island on the thames near twickenham
4
It’s amazing that diirty Northern badtids never eat fruit, but they’ve got a dozen different ways to say “bread roll”.
3
This country’s obsession with “owning your own house” is fucking weird, anyway.
I’ve got plenty of friends on “The Continent” who don’t and they’re not arsed. To be honest, neither am I. I’m on a decent salary and raising the deposit’s fucking mental. Would rather have a new car.
1
Bricks and mortar.
Can’t go wrong.
Rents dead money.
Property only appreciates!
To own your own home is what keeps poor blokes grafting.
Europeans rent because they’re idle.
No self respect,
Probably aware of their own frenchness and depressed?
King of your castle🇬🇧
9
Behave, sunshine. Do I fuck have any friends from France! Or Spain, they’re even worse, the donkey-stabbing, midday-sleeping, raised voice, horse-strangling, swindling cunts!
3
If you’re paying on a note then you don’t own the home. The bank does. You couldn’t afford one so the bank bought it for you and was good enough to let you pay it back with interest. The reason my home is modest is because I own it. I could live in a nicer one but it wouldn’t be mine. My sprawling 1/8 acre estate nestled in a Mexican infested pothole ridden neighborhood is all mine.
6
Some of them Mexican women are fine-ass-bitches!
Salma Hayak. Hmmmmmmm😍
5
not arsed about what the house is valued at, once paid for though you’re rent free, till you go ga ga and into a care home….then either some Muslim or Jew gets the proceeds….💩
10
It’s the constant fucking fear porn from the press that is the root of my cunting.
4
Yes, I agree General.
Apart from the odd deluded twat who tattoos their self from head to foot, and the odd mahoosive Munter moaning about having to live off her kids toast crusts, there’s absolutely nothing to laugh at, at all, these days.
Well, apart from Thor the wanking walrus.
It’s all, house prices up/down, same with energy, Covid up, new Covid, power cuts because of the Beast from the East, doom and bloody gloom everywhere.
It crisis this and horror that. I’m fucking sick to death of it all, plus I hate this time of year, anyway.
6
Absolutely JP.
I fucking despise the media. I now get all my news fro, IsAC.
Ermm, hang on…..
4
As has been said, no point in bragging how much you can get for your house because you’ll only have to spend it on another. The only way it’s going to work out in your favour is if you sell your mansion and buy a terraced house.
I’ve never had a mortgage, I bought my house outright. I heard a neighbour saying “I’ll never be able to pay my mortgage off.” I wouldn’t like to be in his position.
3
Agreed, but you could possibly move abroad and find somewhere better. This is becoming more difficult as the pound devalues, and might be impossible if Labour get in and bring back exchange controls. Who knows?
2
My house is worth a lot of cash, so fucking what , the only cunts who think that is important are either
1. The sort of pseud parent cunts at my daughters school
Or
2. My kids themselves
2
Never mind… You could get the repentant (yeah right) Shamima Bigbum living next door.
Let’s face it, when the dirty bitch gets back into Britain again, those lovely government people will buy her a nice and brand new house.
And trust the BBC to big up the smelly bastard…
https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p09w0y1x
2