Toco the Wonder Dog

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‘There’s nowt as queer as folk’, the old adage has it. I reckon that’s true.

Recently I cunted an 88 year old French twat who was admitted to hospital with a WWI shell stuck up his arse. Now let me introduce Toco, a Japanese gent who spent over £12k to buy a collie costume in order to fulfil his fantasy to live as a dog.

Barking mad, I hear you say, and certainly the gentleman has voiced his fears that family and friends will think him ‘weird’. That’s a good word to use I think, especially if he takes to eating dog biscuits, but they probably won’t mind too much as long as he doesn’t take to chewing the furniture and shitting on the carpet.

‘It takes all sorts’, to use another adage, and indeed we all have our quirks and foibles if we’ll only admit it. I’ll own up to a life-long penchant for sniffing women’s panties; it’s a harmless enough eccentricity.

So on you go Mr Toco; just take care about where you cock your leg up next time you’re out for a walk, and don’t go sniffing any ladies’ crotches, you daft cunt.

Mirror News Link

Nominated by: Ron Knee

78 thoughts on “Toco the Wonder Dog”

  1. I’d be careful what you wish for mate. Before too long some cunt will take you down the vets to be debollocked.

  2. Yet another mental elf case. That fucking naughty elf gets everywhere these days.
    Or is it just that the media wants us to believe that the mental elf is coming to get us?

    Be afraid. Be very afraid.

  3. Makes a change from most Japanese men whose hobbies seem to include school-girl porn, buying used panties from vending machines, bombing Pearl Harbour and torturing and murdering civilians/ Prisoners of War.

    Should have wiped the Cunts out in 1945.

    • “Kill Japs, kill Japs and keep on killing Japs.”
      Fleet Admiral Wm. Halsey.

      Quite right, too. The filthy little cunts.

      • I still find it odd that they can “transform” from one of the most violent and sadistic societies in human history to a bunch of loony cunts who like dressing up as dogs..all in the space of a few decades.

        Kamikaze Kennel club.

        Cunts.

  4. It was Toco’s parents who set him on this path to damnation.
    They took him to the Jap version of Saturday morning cinema club, where he became obsessed with Lassie films,

    “O Rassie-you so blave. Rook mummy, Rassie has wescued lickle girl from water. O Rassie San, when I glow up, I wanna be jus-rike-you! Banzai!!”

    It could of been worse, his mum could have made him watch Al Jolson films, like Mrs Lineker…

  5. It just gets better for 2023 doesn’t it?

    All these perverts and freaks claiming they have a right to choose their gender/colour/ethnicity/sex and now even species is sadly fuelled by a media Hell bent showing this as normal behaviour. It’s just getting out of hand now.

    Just pack it in you cunt and do something normal for a hobby like model trains, fishing or Golf.
    For fucks sake, sick of hearing about these weird cunts…….

  6. @Ron:

    Panty sniffer eh?
    I can’t condone such degeneracy-one step away from bicycle seat “snurfling”.

    Unless of course you mean taking a good whiff as you remove “said undergarments” with your teeth, from a willing bed-partner*

    *excludes Sam Smith from yesterday’s nominations 🤢

    • @ CG:

      Ya got it one, my friend! The missus calls it ‘snurgling’. She sometimes ‘forgets’ and ‘accidently’ leaves a worn pair on the bed for me to find. All good, harmless fun.

  7. He is a shoe in for a remake of the littlest hobo.

    A collie that knows karate.
    Defending the village from bandits (no not that type of bandit)

    Might pitch it to Netflix they buy any old shit these days.

  8. Lassie?

    Soft cunt,he could have been a Komodo Dragon,running about breathing fire and setting Tokyo ablaze.

    I suspect all these Orientals are evil.

  10. It just gets better for 2023 doesn’t it?

    All these pervérts and freaks claiming they have a right to choose their gender/colour/ethnicity etc and now even species is sadly fuelled by a media Hell bent showing this as normal behaviour. It’s just getting out of hand now.

    Just pack it in you cunt and do something normal for a hobby like model trains, fishing or Golf.
    For fucks sake, sick of hearing about these weird cunts…….

    • ALL Japs are preverts.
      Fact.
      It arises from the fact they have very small genitalia , (like a European seven year old)
      And limited vision due to slanted pissflap eyes.

      This isn’t a natural characteristic,
      But results from radiation after the yanks nuked them and repeated attacks by Godzilla.

      They will eventually mutant into little yellow bucktoothed octopuses.

      BANZAi I!!!!!

    • These sort of weirdos have been around a while.

      I remember a documentary on blokes who were sexually attracted to motor vehicles. It may have been channel 4 about 15 years ago, I can’t quite recall.

      It wasn’t a wind up either. They’d get done for rubbing their cocks on cars and jizzing on them.

      I think one got done for breaking into an aircraft hanger at an air museum and raping the helicopter from Airwolf.

  12. I’m not a lady however I could furnish your desire for used under garments, for a fee of course. Mine are guaranteed to be worn 7 days, turned inside out on the 4th day for maximum aroma and piquancy. And they are big.

  14. Next it will be an Australian identifying as a kangaroo
    An Egyptian ditto a camel
    A Frog ditto…err.. a frog
    A Yank ditto a cow
    A Brit ditto a tit

    • Plenty of animals on stage and screen were actually Japs.
      Lassie
      Littlest hobo
      Champion the wonder horse
      The tortoises on Blue Peter,
      But surprisingly not Cheeta in Tarzan.

      He was a black kid from Brixton.

    • It’s more common than you think.
      A look on the internet will show you people who identify as dogs, cats, aliens, trees, Jesus…
      Plenty of men identifying as ladies, obviously. Nobody believes that they actually are ladies, of course. I identify as Brad Pitt, and nobody believes me either. Strange that.

  15. All this sort of thing is sexual by the way.

    The inside of that costume will be caked in crusty jizz.

  16. Japan despite being populated by sexual weirdos has a falling birthrate.

    The population is dwindling.

    Can’t get it up unless dressed as a octopus and it’s a threesome with the vacuum cleaner.

    I assume jap woman have very tight bald fannies?
    Just a guess like.

    Send Gary Glitter and Rolf Harris over to help out.

    • My experience is that East Asian women do tend to have tighter fannies, but that their fanny hair grows at a faster rate than honky fanny hair. They tend to shave their fannies or have Brazilians because it’ll look like an unkempt hedgerow within a few days.

      From my recent research addition to ‘The Lancet’.

      • No good for me,
        I’m hung like a bull.

        Id split some little Yoko Ono down the middle!
        She’d look like one of the war atrocities her grandad committed

      • At 6 “8 they’d run a fucking mile anyway lol.

        “Too big for Japan peepur. Lun for life! Rike Godzilla!”

    • From the videos I’ve seen, young Japanese women seem very accomodating in the sex department….almost as if it’s the law they should be very rude and pervy.

      Get them young though…….from about 40 onwards they start looking like yellow walnuts

  17. If he’s living as a dog, he presumably fucks dogs.
    Lucky for him that bestiality is legal in Japan.

    • I suspect that wanking walrus Miles was on about is really a jap?

      Just the sort of dastardly deed theyd go in for.

      • The way that lad’s going on, I can forsee some enterprising soul bringing out a walrus costume before long. It could well catch on.

  18. It’s just a desperate attempt to lick his own lipstick, or in his case japseye
    The filthy fucker

  20. Over £12k?! He should have gone to Home Bargains, they sell furry onesies for around a tenner.

    Woof

  22. The Japanese women’s tight snatches, stem from the foot binding period, when government hierarchy decided to make it a law that baby girls would have their feet bound from birth, making it difficult for them to walk in later life, hence the clenching of the vagina, making it a tight fit for the lucky men in their life. The public hair tends to grow straight unlike our watch spring bushes. Why ? Fuck knows.

    • Fascinating stuff.
      I suggest that Cuntybollocks, you submit this information to ‘The Lancet’ for publication.

      Oh, morning all.

      • Interesting research from Sammy, indeed.

        I’d have put it down to them eating healthily and not being fat cows with bucket fannies. They’re smaller in general (height, weight etc.)

        And Japanese winkles probably don’t stretch them too much.

    • Have you ever seen a jap bird with curly natural hair on her head? Nope, me neither- there’s your pube question answered mate.

      • Then why does our napper hair vary, when we’re all caught by the short and curlies ?

  25. I presume this weirdo is hoping for some dogs to appear in his local park and give his genitalia the usual attention. He’ll be trying to get out of the costume quickly if a Rottweiler gets stuck in.

  26. Let’s hope this poor chap doesn’t get his water bowl smashed by William and Harry having a punch up.

  27. I think I would rather live as a cat. Although both cats and dogs can lick themselves.

  28. The Jap in a doggie costume seems to have lost its way, but I’d pay good money to see him ripped apart by wolves.

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