I would like to nominate the most annoying advert that is really starting to boil my piss to super heated steam levels.
Basically it highlights what cunts Brits on holiday can be, it’s some money grabbing coupon waving cunt, with his fat ugly cunt wife, probably a dog groomer or something and then his cunt kids, the daughter drops her ice cream and the son who looks like he has escaped from someone’s hog roast act like a total wanker.
This is why these cheap holidays are a total nightmare, your stuck in an airport, followed by a plane another airport, followed by a long coach or taxi twice, ride usually stuck with a family of cunts from Newport, Liverpool or fucking Newcastle just to find the cunts are in the next room and decide to stick to you like shit to a blanket for 2 fucking weeks.
Then to ad insult to injury as soon as your back home, the fucking Clopecks are on the phone wanting to meet up and the fucking now exwife has agreed to it, so now your stuck with these cunts wanting to go on a joint holiday, honestly it makes you concider a double barrel in the gob…. Utter cunts
Nominated by: Fuglyucker
Well it’s nice to see James corden can still book a job.
17
What’s a holiday?
Is that when people take two weeks off work?
I call that Christmas.
15
Overheard on a plane returning to Newcastle from Spain:
‘I really love the traditional Spanish food, especially their pizzas.’
21
At least they are white.
Almost. Gingers don’t count😉
16
Only white people can be obnoxious and thick in adverts.
Spoons are always portrayed as sophisticated geniuses.
40
Good Morning
The problem with the On The Beach advert is that it has been on the telly for well over a year, how anyone wants to book a holiday with them when God only knows.
The advert which really boils my pee is the We Buy Any Car with an overseas gentleman is told 3 or 4 times he has sold his car to them at a knockdown, giveaway price and then does a jig.Last night, I think they took your point Barry because the person of colour was replaced by a smile, old fart, white chap naturally.
15
The only aeroplane Iqbal boards is his deportation flight on Islamabaad Airlines.
13
Or to hijack.
9
Deportation flights don’t depart from the UK… unfortunately 🙁
5
Hang on a minute, shouldn’t the dad in that advert be a sootie?
18
No sympathy here. You go on a package holiday with the herd what the fuck do you expect? It’s cheap for a reason.
18
Agreed Freddie.
The thought of sharing my precious time with the “lower orders”, fills me with horror.
I would rather spend a week in a tent in a damp field in the lakes, than a package holiday on the Costa del scum.
Long weekends with beautiful female companions was always my preferred “downtime”🙂
13
I hate this advert too.
Fat fuckin morons.
I don’t like beaches
I don’t like hot weather
This advert sucks balls.
Take that fat little cunt to Praia Da Luz , and hope he’s not on the plane back.
17
You couldn’t afford to kidnap that orca, he would eat you out of house and home.
10
Aye-not enough Calpol in Portugal, to down that ginger Hippo, McCann style.
11
Aye.
Just get on a plane and choose your own digs when you get there. No building work, no or very few kids/annoying loud families and has a decent room in a good location?
Job done.
Go with the herd and you’ll end up in a shithole, filled with loud annoying kids and scummy parents.
2
I have hundreds of stories about clueless cunts that arrive here on holiday.
I was recently in a bar and watched a family of 4 English retards order a plate of prawns.
I think that they expected to have them served peeled, perhaps with a side dressing of ‘Thousand Island’.
All four of them just sat looking at the prawns placed in front of them.
Fucking clueless.
After a while I went over and asked if they knew how to peel a prawn.
None of them did.
I showed them.
“First you cut off the head, then you put your thumbs between its legs and peel all the hard shell off. Now the tail should slide off easily”.
They looked horrified as I demonstrated.
I thought that the kids were going to cry.
Of course the remaining prawns went back, untouched.
For main course the father got brave and ordered calamari.
I don’t think that he knew what a calamaro is.
I didn’t tell him.
18
You are Hugh Fearnley Whittingstall and U claim my £5 voucher for Egg & Chips😉
13
And the fucking louts turning up and getting loud and obnoxious because the waiters have no clue what a lager top, a spritzer or a snake bite is.
“Ain’t you got nobody here what speaks English?”
13
My idea of a holiday is somewhere you get to keep your jumper on.
Don’t see many people,
Especially ethnics,
And the food is a full English breakfast with black pudding.
And the pub has proper ale.
16
I recall hearing a Glaswegian git ordering a ‘pint o’ hevvie’ at a hotel bar in Majorca. The fact that Manuel hadn’t a clue what he meant was justification for starting World War 3.
6
I can see why the Spanish hate us. A flock of fat ginger ridden, pasty skin council estate filth descending on their coastal cities and towns demanding chips with everything and drinking themselves unconscious thus clogging up their hospitals………..
The Spanish do have form for previous spouts of cuntitude, but surely they don’t deserve the dreggs of Britain rocking up every summer and making their picturesque beaches look like the slums of Luton, Liverpool, Leicester, London and Leeds in the sun?
13
,When I go on my summer holiday
I go to Juan-les-Pins
With my carefully designed mankini
I get an even suntan on my back, and on my legs
And when the snow falls I’m found in St. Moritz
With the others of the jet set
And I sip my Napoleon brandy
But I never get my lips wet, no, I don’t
17
What about when you’re alone in your bed?
8
Usually have a wank if you must know.
8
Poor bastard, I’m never alone in in my bed (smug cunt).
3
Yes,Moggie….I’m sure the “Easy-Wash Inflatable Greta Thunberg Blow-Up Doll” is a great comfort to you on these cold nights.
6
is that where you go to my lovely?
2
When he’s not dancing like Zizi Jeanmaire.
2
You’re all just jealous because I know the Aga Khan….he sent me a racehorse for Christmas and I keep it just for fun….for a laugh…ha-ha….with all my other racehorses.
4
I know the thoughts that surround you, because I can see inside your head, you wrong ‘un!🤣🤣
4
Oh, and stop talking like Marlene Dietrich! It’s a bit weird!
3
I was in this Spanish bar many years ago when half a dozen coppers came in and started eyeballing everyone. They were obviously looking for somebody and they spotted him coming out of the bog. I kid you not they beat the fucking shit out of him right there and then and dragged him out the door on his arse.
Superb entertainment.
15
Never fuck with the Spanish police.
They will punch you up like you are a ginger stepson.
However, five minutes later, if you were to fall into the sea and start drowning, they would dive in and try to save you without any second thought.
Respect!
5
I’ve lived those holidays back when money was tight. The Spanish would try to extract every coin off you right up to boarding the plane.
Switched to the Greek islands as the Greeks have finesse when fleecing you.
I’m currently in Bkok visiting family, unfortunately Mrs infidel is in tow so massages are off the agenda.
Package holidays are not for me.
9
I went to Greece once.
Rubbish.
Hated the food
Hated the weather
Hated the Greeks
Hated other holidaymakers.
Saw a eagle!
Liked that.
Glad to get home.
9
Must have been the stout, black pubic hairs sticking out of your Moussaka in that Greek restaurant, Mis.
4
You been down Soi Cowboy or Nana Plaza yet ?
What memories !
0
This is the company that offers these knuckledragging families access to private airport lounges if they but 4 or 5 star holidays with them isnt it?
Im not rich, but I generally pay to go to an airport lounge, because more often than not it can work out cheaper than buying shit food on the airport concourse and i dont have to hang around with shuit families. The peace and serenity and privacy of an airport lounge before a flight makes flying vaguely tolerable……but knowing that wayne and chantelle who are cash rich and unpbringing poor will also have access as part of thier package put the fear of god into me.
These cunts should be allowed no further than a weatherspoons of mcdonalds.
15
Last time I flew, in November, I had an airport lounge thrown in as part of the parking and hotel plan. Full of people I wouldn’t want to be associated with, bloke sitting next to me talking on his Mobile for about an hour giving it “I am in the airport lounge” to anyone he could think to call, the grub was crap and the supposed Champagne was Prosecco.
8
I always try and fly back via Doha with Qatar Air. One of the Sheiks very kindly opened a lounge for mariners and oil workers that we can use for free. No kids and no fucking scratters! Awesome.
4
I consider myself quite courageous as I’ve been on several Ryanair flights over the years.
The pretend posh cunts with their fucking awful spoilt kids are just as bad as a pissed up stag do.
Holiday company adverts are designed by cunts to appeal to M.ongs.
Fuck em.
8
I’m a pretend posh Cunt who has been on several pissed up stag dos via Ryanair…..I remember you,ya moaning old Fart.
6
I wondered why we had to land rather randomly at Stanstead whilst some Fine Gentlemen had to be “escorted” from the aircraft.
Good morning and pass the sherry.
5
Marketeers seem to be all goatee beards in their twenties, who don’t have kids. They portray the kids in all their ads as a bunch of savages, chucking things in the pool, jumping up and down on beds, being loud and running about. And all this is supposed to be normal. It just makes Wayne and Waynetta think they are doing a good job with their disgusting offspring, who encourage them to be even worse ‘cos they’re on holiday, innit.
7
I recall ( many years ago ) a Camp Holiday ( yes it was cheap ) in a place in France called Canet Plage. A bit like Tenko ( for those old farts who can remember it ) and populated with “Brits Abroad Ltd”. And the Day trip to Loret d Mar? Fucking outrageous. I have never been abroad since.
5
Anyone here remember “Invicta Airways” flying DC3 and DC4 from Manston in Kent? Taking the first “Brits abroad” in late 60,s ? Morocco for £5 if you sat with the tomatoes on return.
4
I dunno, the woman is one for the sock.
7
That one had me tickled pink.
2
Ooooooh, this reminds me of a holiday with wifey (pre-kids) where we went to Tunisia (not the year some raggie went rogue and AK’d everyone on the beach).
Now, my fellow cunters, you are going to think I have made this up for entertainment value, I assure you, I have not, let me tell…
We went to some OK’ish hotel which as most was in the middle of Al-Ab Nowhere – everything one could want was in one place, including whores…
Not your usual type of belly dancing whores mind you but, wait for it, a mother and daughter tag-team who were there on holiday from Newcastle (I swear Gov, god’s honest!).
Now you might think, how did this dirty cunt, on holiday with his lovely wife find out – did he dip his wick into some Stotty – NO – He did not.
I was chillaxing by the pool one morning when we witnessed a commotion going on from the other side of the pool where mother and daughter were also relaxing.
Being the Colombo that I am, I had noticed that for the last couple of days the waiters were paying particular attention to these two Northern hussies, almost doting over them, if you will.
What happened next, I will never forget – two of the waiters, in broad daylight started having a punch up, right next to the sun loungers and had to be separated as it got quite serious.
It transpires, after some deeper investigating that they were arguing about who was going to fuck the daughter next (and by all accounts she had fucked most of the bell boys, pool staff and god knows who else).
Not only that but her mother was the pimp, and also an old has-been brass, no doubt teaching her daughter the ways of the red light, and I also believe had opened her kipper legs a few times, but was obviously not on the game as much as the daughter as she could only manage a couple of cocks before she needed a sleep.
Both were dogs, so granted it was probably the only time they got fucked, their thinking was probably at least if we’re paid we’re guaranteed to get fucked so may as well make the most of it.
9
Your comments just made me realise how lucky I was just having cheapo dilapidated caravan holidays on the south coast in the seventies..coin metered electric for power no TV just a radio and everyday on the beach getting burnt red loads of calamine lotion as first aid!… takeaways for dinner…no one cared as it was a week away from work and school bloody marvellous 👍
7
Any of the four repetitive adverts on GBNEWS really get up my hooter.
Especially the young dopey Welsh cunt advertising snied jewellery .God he sounds so fucking thick and mongoloid.
He tells viewers that it’s always a pleasure to hear how they are going to spend their money.
Fucking Cunt !!!!
8
Don’t get me started on GB News ads, also on Talk TV.
Same ads at every break:
Gold Reserve Jewelers – that dopey excitable Welsh twat mentioned by Fenton.
Lumbers Jewelers – soppy love song, sounds like it’s sung by a five year old.
Leather Sofa Company, also Welsh, but not like the twat above.
Belgica Furniture.
SOS charity.
Probably others too but these are the most repetitive.
2
Sorry, went a bit off topic their.
I will have to do a nom about GB NEWS Adverts
5
Neil Young’s ‘On The Beach’ is a great album.
Morning Fenton. 👍
3
Morning Ruff, I hope your keeping well
2
As is Neville Shute’s book.
5
Good cunting. I’ll have to take my blood pressure whilst watching it – it must go to over 300 systolic.
2
Good nom! Just last night I pointed out to the misses about the little fat cunt in the advert! I got told of for fat shaming by the misses and youngest daughter! How can it be fat shaming when you are concearned the little fat fucker will have a heart attack by the time he’s 18. I call it compassion! On another note I’m surprised by the lack of diversity(ahem)not a thin person to be seen!
8
Digressing slightly, l laughed my clean socks off at the beebs sports report on ex-Crawley Town manager John Yems, who was sacked for using jovial racist remarks to his players. Reading between the lines and the seriousness of it, made it all the funnier.
7
Typical of the current style of advert, the White English family are portrayed as a Fat disgusting bunch of losers who are obviously on their first foreign holiday whereas if the family was Black they would be seen as sophisticated, athletic and the children would be little angels. I hope the tub of Lard of the advert get Bullied to fuck by the school hard nut.!
9
Not that long ago this was the reverse and is still the norm for me. Don’t let them brainwash you.
4
What the fuck is an advert?? Record everything then speed up through them.
4
Just what we do zip through the ads 👍👍
2
Even when watching live TV I just fuck off for a few minutes and do something useful, get a drink or snack, have a wank, burgle next door, anything to kill that time.
5
Same here Harry. Don’t know why they’re being masochistic towards themselves.
2
On the beach advert must be a fucking miracle 4 white people
The death of white folk in adverts 👎👎
9
i have just noticed an inaccuracy in the ad, there is about a thousand people less around that pool than normal, its the same with all holiday adverts, deserted beech, 3 people around the pool , no timeshare selling cunts, no aqua jetski gp going on 10 feet from the sand, happy looking camels and donkeys, no stray cats,dogs,Russians, no mopeds racing outside your hotel at 3am, and no Brits throwing up or pissing in the flower pots or the pool.
Remind me why people go to these places , FUCK THAT
6
It’s like those Postcode Lottery ads. They are all thick white chavs or fat fuckers, who scream like imbeciles when they answer the door. While the savvy black (what else?) postman laughs wistfully at the stupid whitey idiots.
If dark ‘uns were stereotyped and ridiculed in this way, the woke sirens would be heard for miles.
12
Even reality are joining in. When I received my reminder for my umpteenth covid jab, it was littered with cartoon black caricatures explaining step-by-step what to do. Its still puzzling me now, that the area doesn’t have anybody of that nature living here.
5
Postcode lottery must be racist if no black winners.
2
I would like to see all those “melanin enriched” cunts from TV adverting, take a one way trip to Liberia.
Coach class.
6