Askern Medical Practice

My fellow Cunters.
For your Cuntsideration:

Askern medical practice in Doncaster.
Why?
Well they decided to give patients a “Christmas Present” to remember-sending out a group text informing them they had aggressive Lung cancer with metastasis, instead of the intended “Merry Christmas”.

News News Link

Perhaps an IsAC’er has taken over their “IT” department?😉

The stupid fuckers-it’s not April 1st for ages…..,

Nominated by: Cuntfinder General

44 thoughts on “Askern Medical Practice

  1. What you expect from a pit village quacks.
    Doctors there will be less employable than scargills redundant mine workers.
    Daft as ducks

  2. Not sure about this cunting.

    1. It’s Doncaster , so probably full of cunts
    2. Their patient list is no doubt full of work shy layabout cunts

    The fact that GPs post covid are cunts too is another matter but this one I found quite funny to be fair

    I would also imagine that some of the aforementioned cunts will be after compo and need counselling obviously

  3. I think it was no mistake.

    Probably a receptionist trying to cheer the bedraggled patients up.

    I’m certain the relief on receiving the second text cheered them up no end..”Sorry about that,it’s not cancer it’s Christmas.”

    They should have sent a follow up on Boxing Day..”You now have advanced cirrhosis of the liver so no New Years piss up for you.”

    Death note by text.

    It’s the future.

    By cunts.

    • What is funny (well to me anyway) is the few in the batch of people that actually do have cancer .

      Text 2

      “Dear all, sorry for our text saying you have cancer all a big mistake sorry “

      Phew

      Text 3

      “Apart from you Mrs Smith , you’ve definitely got it and have 2 weeks to live. Merry Christmas”

  4. What was the new year message, you got the aids.

    Still predictive text is a bitch, who among us hasn’t sent a message to the boss saying rot in hell you cunt.

    Though thinking about I always send that one.

  5. True story:

    Last year, one of my best friends recurved a letter from their hospital trust, informing them that their youngest daughter aged 7) had Cistic fibrosis and unfortunately, tests showed further serious complications.
    Distraught-they contacted the team looking after their daughter, who has a “minor” problem with her epiglottis-to be told they were terribly sorry, it was a patient mix up.

    Imagine the parents of the “sick” child’s reaction, when they were informed that the letter stating all fine, was a clerical mistake and unfortunately their child is fucked😢

    These mistakes are inexcusable.
    I wonder what the “ethnicity” if the perpetrators of the errors is…..

    • Yeah only adults are fair game in this I should have added.

      There seems to be a simultaneous lowering of British standards occurring across the board at exactly the same time we are diluting the population with third world detritus

      Strange

  6. Sort of thing that will happen on purpose once Elon Musk branches into running GPs surgeries when everyone realises his EVs are a cunt.

    Life’s cheap where Elon is from so he won’t give a fuck

  7. Ding dong merrily on high you cunt you’re going to die. This message is available in 200 languages, and has been shown to be non discriminatory and ethnically neutral
    have a very happy New Year from all at your community health facility.

  8. I hope someone was fired for this?

    While I find it funny I doubt I’d be grinning like a Cheshire cat if I was a recipient of a Christmas cancer message?

    And yes I would fuckin sue.

    They appoint cunts who can barely speak English then mistakes will be made.
    Diverse mistakes.
    Multicultural mistakes.

    • This is the thing.

      I noticed the station announcer at Fenchurch St yesterday, strong foreign accident , stumbling through the announcement

      Where else does this fucking happen

      We just allow any cunt to do what they want basically

      • What was the announcement..

        No fucking trains, try the bus.

        Or this train will be full of mouth breathers talking loudly on their phones.

  9. Unless you were waiting for test results, I can’t see why you’d be concerned….personally I’d just think that someone has made a cock-up ( as we all do) and ignore it.

    I certainly wouldn’t be having some “snowflake-style” meltdown.

    • Lucky they didn’t send one saying “You’re pregnant with twins” eh……some of the elderly gentleman from the Care Home could have done themselves a mischief in their rush to stock up on baby-milk and nappies…

      • Good Morning Dick,

        That is absolutely right. The only people who don’t make mistakes are those who do nothing.
        Having said that (and I have it twice) if you do have something serious like cancer then you should be told face to face, not by letter and certainly not by text.
        The first time I had a growth on my shoulder removed and was called back for a follow up appointment. By chance we were good friends with the consultant’s ex (a GP) and mentioned I had a follow up appointment. She went off on one, saying it was a waste of NHS resources doing that and I should be told by letter and follow-ups were only done when it was bad news. Fortunately we were all fairly hit and missed so I didn’t cotton on.
        The 2nd time my very fanciable GP put her hand high on my thigh as she was delivering the bad news, which I suspected anyway. That put a big sloppy grin on my face and I said “Oooh that’s nice” and she didn’t think I was listening, so told me again. Big mistake on allowing the wife to come into the surgery with me, or I would have had a go at her over surgery desk. I am the only bloke who has come out off the doctor’s surgery with a Big C diagnosis to get an almighty bollocking. 8 and a bit years ago so I presume I am alright now.

    • No I was going to have Paul Johnson but forgot and he died yesterday as well. It has been a bad week.

  10. Donny is a shit hole full of ugly mongs. I know, I live there. Askern is rough. Nice duck pond though.

  11. In a hospital in the south-west a woman in her thirties was gravely ill. She died and the system failed. Not only was there a delay in moving her body to the mortuary but her husband came to visit and was directed to her bedside to find her white and cold.
    Pleased to report the inquiry identified the person responsible for the cock-up who then received the bollocking of their life.

    • Fucking shocking. I imagine the duty nurse was busy making a Tik-Tok video or filling in an application form for Diversity & Inclusion or “Lived Experience” manager🤔

  12. Imagine receiving a text message or email from the Premium Bonds to say you’ve won a million!

    You now start to make plans as you wait for your small fortune:-

    Tell your boss and work colleagues they’re all cunts and should fuck off and die.
    Tell the nagging wife you want a divorce and that you’ve had 20 affairs behind her back,
    Put the house on the market for a quick sale while you scope out your mansion (or done-up shoe box if its in the Smoke)
    Tell your neighbours they’re all knuckle-dragging cunts.

    A week later you get a follow up email from PB, to say that due to a “technical problem” you have won only twenty five quid and not the cool million you were hoping for. Soz!

    • I always thought you got a knock on the door to be presented with your wife changing cheque.

  13. So this place has a saved message on file to send to unfortunate people that have aggressive lung cancer.

    Seems a little impersonal to me.

    The uncaring cunts.

  14. All GP receptionists are in league with the Devil. They are perhaps the biggest cunts to ever suffer the menopause, wear glasses and push a button.

  15. What a cunt.
    Happened to me once. I got a letter from the hospital saying that I’d got prostate cancer. This was after I’d been told that I DIDN’T have it following a biopsy.
    Needless to say I was on the dog and bone pronto, to be told that it was ‘an administrative error’; my records had been placed in ‘the wrong file’ basket for patient responses or some such shit.
    I wonder how many poor sods at this GPs keeled over with a fucking seizure on getting that message.
    Useless cunts.

    Morning all.

    • Feds up Ron-more likely Mrs Knee had chucked a “love-egg” up your tunnel-of-love and the GP thought it was an enlarged Prostate😂

  16. I got an invite via text from my GP partnership inviting me to an online Tai Chi session, how the fuck can you get a cuppa online, thick cunts!

  17. I think it’s time to worry if we cunters on here got a text message saying we’d been diagnosed with Sickle Cell Anemia.

  18. Some while ago I told my surgery that I no longer had a mobile phone and so it would be pointless sending me any texts. That if they wanted to comunicate anything to me they should phone me on the landline number with an appointment or write me a letter. This means that the lazy cnuts have to do a bit of work.
    We should all do this – it’s just too fucking easy for some menopausal wasp-chewing cow to push a few buttons and get things wrong …
    I no longer get texts !!!!!!!!

  19. Early in my NHS days I used to run a weekly OPD clinic with my idiot colleague. Fed up with all the no shows we took it upon ourselves to send letters to the culprits (stern but not rude). Imagine our horror when the replies from distraught bereaved relatives started coming in. It had never occurred to us that elderly seriously ill people have a high mortality rate. Our boss was a swivel eyed cunt and might well have killed us if he found out. It was like the fall of Saigon without the helicopters as we frantically shredded the evidence, fought to be first to collect the post and answer the phone. Got away with it though as no-one made a formal complaint and our Winston Wolf clean up operation succeeded. It’s funny how upset some people get over little things.

  20. False information sent out by medical practices is nothing new to me. One hospital in Manchester sent two letters informing the doctors at my local hospital that I’d had coronary artery bypass surgery there, when I’d had nothing of the kind, I’d had a procedure done on my kidneys.
    On another occasion I went to my local hospital to have a ureteric stent removed. I’d taken the day off work, got myself prepared, turned up and the female doctor said “We’re not going to do the procedure, there’s no stent to remove, we’ve been through the paperwork and there’s no mention of a stent.” I was insisting there was and she was talking to me like I was a retarded child. She said “I’ll tell you what, we’ll go downstairs and get you x-rayed, then we’ll look at it together on my screen.” And when we got to look at her screen, there was the stent. She didn’t know what to say. By this time the team had packed up and gone home, so it had to be arranged all over again. The paperwork had come from the same Manchester hospital.

  21. My GP’s surgery is having a public/patient consultation next week re proposed changes.
    It would be interesting to see if any medics attend; all my appointments, save for nurses, have been by phone.
    However, I have an exciting day planned, involving a fruity, sequinned gentleman in Huddersfield!! A welcome day away from Walmington-on-Sea…

  22. When I received my letter I broke into my local convent and forced all the young pretty nuns (just like the ones in films) to engage in a variety of disgusting yet very enjoyable perverted sexual practices with me.

    I write this from my prison cell as I start my life sentence.

    • You didn’t opt for a “Sister Wendy Special”?? A gnasher job, and three Hail Mary’s…

Comments are closed.