Inconsiderate Parking (3)

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A cunting for people who think they have a right to a parking space outside their house on a terraced road.

I regularly have people park outside my house living near to a shop and having multiple car owning neighbours, inconvenient-yes , however I have never risen to the ultimate level of cunt where I would challenge a person or leave notes etc because someone is exercising their rights as a tax paying road user.

What boils my piss is the righteous indignation of a neighbour 50 yards down, in front of whose house I parked the other day. Despite their car being parked, so my actions were not depriving them of their cherished road space AND me considerately leaving 6 feet in front of their ludicrous vehicle for egress, the stupid cunt suggested I park on double yellows or in front of anyone else’s house as long as his wife and kids can get their car out. if you are aware that the car is that of a fellow resident then you know they are parking there because they actually do have someone taking the space where they would park normally,

being happy to suggest that I inconvenience another resident by parking elsewhere as long as it isn’t affecting you personally, is not something worthy of “respect” which was what this utter cunt was suggesting I wasn’t giving him enough of, so instead he receives a cunting

It goes without saying I would move for anyone who politely asks and for a good reason (disabled etc) But not for some benefit scrounging drug dealer who’s misses can’t get her giant white Range Rover out of a 30ft space

Nominated by: Jimmy Cuntliffe

51 thoughts on “Inconsiderate Parking (3)”

  1. We all park round the back, and it’s limited space.
    Can’t access our front door by car.

    So we have a understanding.
    We all park outside our own homes.

    Everyone goes out to work of a morning, and parks in ‘their spot’ on returning.
    It works.

    I’ve the biggest vehicle being a removal van,
    So if someone visits,
    Parks in my spot?
    I’d struggle to park anywhere else.
    I can’t manoeuvre into a spot a Fiat 500 or mini can.

    Sorry Jimmy but I’d park in front of your car blocking you in for the night.

  2. I used to live in a road where there was a woman in her 80s who would key your car if you parked outside her house.

    Cunt didn’t even drive

    Did it to my wife’s car so I called the police and said that the smell of death was emanating from her house and that there were lots of milk bottles outside .

    Turned up and asked if she was dead.

    The police are occasionally useful . Not often but still laughing 25 years later

  3. have a half wit on our road who parks on the bend because thats “her” space. saw her come out of the house at 10pm one night in the pissing rain in her pyjamas when someone moved their car from her space and moved her car from one of the parking bays and parked it on the bend, the fucking tard. laughed like fuck the night the bus ripped the side out of her motor trying to get past

  4. The cunts that put notes on others’ cars are usually also the type of wankers that buy a Victorian terraced house in a “vibrant” part of town that has no drive, then expect to be able to park 3 Range Rovers and an old MG outside.
    Fucking cunts.

    • Yep I have an acquaintance that bought a small place near Epsom Racecourse . Every year without fail he goes on and on and on about not being able to park on Derby Day.

      Yeah not like they’ve been running that race for about 300 years you thick cunt

  5. Don’t worry fellow cunters you won’t need a parking space soon.

    Once the vermin in charge force us off the road. Bus stops are very plentiful.

  6. We live opposite a school, try that for inconsiderate parking. It becomes almost a spectator sport, me and her indoors will sometimes venture into the front garden to watch the events as they unfold. Busses can’t get through and it’s utter bedlam for half an hour. The cunts frequently park across our drive and are indignant when you point out the error of their ways. I have to time my early Friday finish at work to avoid the utter chaos.

    • School run time best avoided. Stupid mums who can’t drive at the best of times, in a hurry and solely focused on getting little tommy to school on time and as close as possible in a fuck off great 4×4. What could possibly go wrong?

  7. Seems to me that the significant factor here is neighbour relations.. Jimmy and Mis both have a good case but as Mis says he has an understanding wiith the neighbours which Jimmy has not unfortunately. It’s worth cultivating relations with the neighbours in my experience, assuming it’s possible that is! When I was young we had bad neighbours. She was a fucking psychopath and it was a constant irritant. We now get on well with all the neighbours and life is so much easier. We take in each other’s deliveries, watch each other’s houses if someones away, I’ve come home and found someone has mowed our front lawn for us and I am never stuck for a lift if the car is in for repairs or the wife is out somewhere. On my part I’m the streets Mr fixit; anything fails or doesn’t work as it should I’m asked my advice first.

    • That’s about right. On the street where I am currently living , in a terraced house, most of us try and park considerately except one, recently moved in, silly bitch over the road. She has got a bloody great El Grande people carrier which she will leave outside my house, without moving it for a week at a time. Not only depriving me or my neighbours of any chance of parking near their house but blocking the light through our front window.

      I have thought about keying it.

      Worse than that, she is such a cow that our local sex siren, who lived next door to her moved out. I have no-one to perve on now.

  8. I lived next to an old boy once , occasionally mowed his lawn.

    He thought that this meant I was qualified to do anything and once asked me to install a satellite dish.

    The dozy old cunt 😃

      • Cunt had money , once when I spoke to him his trousers fell down as the piece of string he used to hold them up broke.

        Think the string had been around a food parcel in the 1940s when he was in France

        Poor old cunt collapsed and died in his own piss eventually

    • I lived next door to an old lass in the late 1980’s she gave the impression she was skint. She always look tatty and one day, and I can’t remember why, she asked me to look in her fridge, it was virtually empty but I recall a lump of mouldy cheese. She eventually carcked it. Some while later her details were in the local rag, she left over £250k in her will. Old cunt left me fuck all though.

      • There are loads of people like that, LOADS. People who look like Cat Weasel and eat cold beans from the tin, then they die and it turns out they have 3 million quid/dollars in the bank though various investments, it’s bizarre. Mental illness.

  9. Used to have come cunt with a high top long wheelbase sprinter park outside my terraced house for months effectively making it dark in my front room for a summer, when a space appeared outside his house and i suggested he move it, i was told to fuck off, it was stolen that night and torched amazingly enough, the cunt was amendment i had something to do with it [ as if i would ], forward wind a few years and i had one of those cunt neighbours [ luckily he has now moved ] you know the type, dont park there, dont make any noise, meanwhile i will park wherever the fuck i want,build a shed over the fire hydrant for the street then when he blocks our gates and Mrs Fugly tells him to fuck off he wants a punch up with me.
    The prick went on holiday for a week and left his car window open a crack and a hose pipe connected to a tap in his garden [ it wasnt me ] so with a new car and a for sale sign gratification was swift, total ubacunt and his ugly slag wife….

  11. ‘I hope you don’t fuck like you park’

    ……Is a popular pre-printed note I attach to the windscreen of cars I have for just such occasions.

    A pet gripe of mine, also is the inability for cunts to park centrally between white dividing lines in supermarket car parks. I drive an old smoker- reliable but stands me nothing so another knock doesn’t make a difference to me. If I come across someone parked over a dividing line, so it makes it tight for me to park, I deliberately park as close to the drivers side of their car so they can’t fucking get in unless they enter via the passenger side (I am still within the white lines I should add) Done that twice this year and watched from afar as those cunts struggle to get in. Fucking funny.

  12. Anyone who doesn’t have off road parking shouldn’t be allowed to have a car, fucking peasants, get the bus! 😂

    20 years time there will be a law that petrol and diesel vehicles cannot drive on residential streets, even if you live there 😉

  13. Tis like wimminz drivers in the lanes of dorset on the school run or to the off licence, they go like fuck, in the middle of the road and cant reverse without using the force or hedges as guidance. Fortunately the old clanker of a diesel non rusty X Trail which owes me nothing scares the cunt out of them when aimed with precision. God bless plastic front wings. Amen .

  14. I park where the fuck I need to whilst working, and, you know what you can do with your note. Let me point you in the direction of the proctologists.

    • I have seen ‘your sort.” Blocking up roads unnecessarily. Often when there is a space nearby. Not on an emergency, but just double parked “ because they can.” I guess they call that manners then DCI?

      • Every situation is different I admit, but the body language of the staff, usually now G4S, & the patients. It’s not that difficult. Often locally the patient is known, even they have said afterwaeds on occasions “What happened there?” You have to agree, It’s a bit ‘over the top’ sometimes.

      • G4? Ah, you mean Patient Transport. I’m Emergency Ambulance, hence the park nearest the job, assess and move later if necessary. Wait for the chaos when the helicopter lands on a road!

  15. I drive a 5 Series BMW estate so I’m except from any rules relating to parking.

    When I spec’d the beast I added pretty much every extra on the list.

    I have to say it’s bloody lovely car but despite all of that the indicators don’t work and it has a mind of its own, especially on the motorway when it refuses to drive at a safe distance from whatever is ahead.

    And when it comes to parking again it has a mind of its own.

    Refuses point blank to park in between 2 lines instead it parks over one line hence taking 2 places.

    The car is a cunt, I’ll have it for another year and will probably change it for an Audi 🤣

      • I have known a number of women whose method for the motorway is to move into lane 2 ASAP and stay there until they exit the motorway. I actually heard one advising a friend who had just passed her test that this was the way to drive.

    • Dont.

      I have an Audi, it is the most authoritarian cunt I have ever driven.

      Put your belt on
      Don’t stray out of lane or I’ll steer you back and crash you into the central reservation

      Brake when I say or I’ll brake for you and scare the fuck out of everyone for no reason

      May as well just go back to 1940

      Cunts

      • 🤣🤣 yes it’s very similar mate.

        My Mrs hates driving it.

        She calls it a ‘right nosy bastard’ always fucking asking questions of you.

        And whilst I think on the Sat Nav is a proper Nazi bastard.

        Sends you all round the houses just because it can.

      • my new Skoda kamiq does the same , pulls me back in lane and sometimes locks the brakes on with the city safety mode for no reason and nanny’s me about seatbelts as it’s Skoda it’s part of the vag motor car manufacturers group, typical German car manufacturer, I better not put the sat nav on because it might take me to Poland

      • Might be worth digging in the handbook Sid. I had an Octavia which had all that shit and I was able to switch off most of it. Only one I couldn’t switch off was the so-called “hill start assist” and in some situations I must admit that drove me fucking crackers. I soon developed the habit of selecting reverse and driving over the fucker.

  17. I wonder if Parkin’ Stanleys fare any better…?
    Just askin’ (N.B. No ‘g’, again) for a friend…

  18. It’s constant road wars where I am and having a school nearby doubles the daily drama.
    I stand at the window, master of my land, 30′ of it and watch everything unfold.
    I’ve had to come to terms with the school parking but there’s problem if some cunt parks in the street who doesn’t live there and fucks off on holiday.
    Now that’s a problem.

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