Festive ‘Round Robin’ Letters and Christmas Cards

Posted on by

Admin, a Yuletide cunting with all the trimmings please for festive ‘round robin’ letters.

It’s the time of year when, shoehorned into a Christmas Card is the obligatory letter from a neighbour or oft forgotten relative who having espoused modern technology such as facefuck or what’s crap or even an email has decided to pen a ditty to one and all…..

Basically boasting about what a year they’ve had, how well the kids have done at school, how much they contributed to charity or how many times they sat at the captains table during a cruise in Scandinavia, oh and the new Tesla is such a boon, and I’ve had another promotion at work….. and the new Ukrainian lodgers are such luvvy people…..

Personally, if I’ve not bothered to speak to neighbours or contact long lost relatives all year ( and I don’t cos I’m a cunt) then the idea of receiving one of these boastful, look at me missives at Christmas indicates I’m in the right and the sender is a cunt of truly epic proportions.

I received one early this week, from a neighbour, it’s come in handy to wipe my arse with.

Ho ho bloody ho.

Nominated by: LeonardoDiCunty

And then there’s this from Ron Knee

Christmas Cards

Yes it’s that time again; time for the annual shenanigans involving the sending and receiving of Christmas cards.

I refuse to have anything to do with it, but the wife religiously digs out the list of people she’s sending them to, then spends hours of her time choosing and writing the ‘right’ card for the ‘right’ person.

‘Who do you keep bothering with that?’ I say every time. ‘We haven’t seen some of ’em in donkey’s. Don’t want to either’. ‘It’s a way of staying in touch’ she responds, before adding the inevitable ‘miserable old bastard!’.

I just don’t get it. We usually get about seventy or so of the fuckers, which are spread about the house gathering dust until the inevitable moment arrives when they’re chucked in the bin. Mercifully, we’ve only received about thirty this year, presumably due to a combination of people economising, and the bolshy antics of the Royal Mail.

Fucking good riddance I say. What a waste of time and money. Bah humbug!

Compliments of the season to Cunters everywhere!

75 thoughts on “Festive ‘Round Robin’ Letters and Christmas Cards”

  1. No different to cunts who use facefuck to tell their 75000 fake friends they had last nights chinky for breakfast and had a crap.
    Pathetic morons…..
    Have a good one cunters.

  2. If there’s one thing I hate more than getting cards at this time of year, it’s getting cards with ’round Robins’ in them.
    No I’m not fucking interested in learning that you’ve bought a new car, the kids have got braces, and you’re off to Austria for the skiing next week.
    Leave me the fuck alone to look at the Villa January transfer speculation in peace.

    • Might have a job keeping your mental goalkeeper. Loved his trolling the frog fans be pretending his golden globe award was a huge cock in front of billions.

      I bet he can’t get away with his penalty antics anymore though.

      • As soon as it went to pens i said fhey might as well give the Argies the trophy now. I knew he’d go into massive cunt mode and put them off.

        Made me laugh though. He’s a character and there aren’t many left nowadays. Look at Harry Kane. He makes Nigel Mansell seem exciting.

  3. I like to receive Christmas cards and not being as popular as I should be will display mine with a few packs of unwritten ones so it seems I received hundreds.

    Don’t like the chore of writing them or the expense of sending them.

    I often say I’ve posted them with a few quid for them, and the postie has true to form stolen it .

    Makes me out the generous victim
    And is another nail in the reputation of those commie striking theiving bastard’s.

    Dunno what a “round robin ‘ is?
    Never had one of those.

    • We’ve got one sitting on our fence right now Miserable. The fat little cunt’s been stuffing himself from our bird feeder for hours.

      • You will be heartened to hear that your round robin IsAC Christmas card was delivered despite the strikes Miserable. Posing by the Country Cream gate in your Union Jack g-string and tankard of mulled wine was very festive.

      • I particularly liked the Festive Holly you intertwined and wore as a crown.

        Did you have fun with the sewing circle? Hope you didn’t overdo the sherry. You really shouldn’t drink it in pint tankards, and adding brandy is just reckless.

  4. Well not wishing to brag fellow cunters,but this last year I have found the cure for cancer. Invented a new cheap and clean energy source.

    And best of all been declared legally insane.

    Happy Easter..

  5. I always get cards, the Salvation Army send me some every year, no idea why, I have never met any of them.

  8. Christmas cards are a curse, they only exist to enrich the manufactures. A disposable feature of the commercialisation of a pagan festival that has somehow been connected to the birth of the Messiah.

    Maybe the pagan version of Christmas is not to your taste, maybe the Christian Christmas leaves you cold.

    The commercialised Christmas where every business tries to milk a few extra quid out of the masses in the name of Christmas spirit really makes me want to puke.

    Now the corporate giants are making sure we get a seasonal dose of woke combined in their seasonal mind control fleecing operation.

    Santa the commercial centre piece of the scam is a coke marketing scheme.

    Fuck me, bah humbug, pass the fucking coke and a fresh note.

    Merry Xmas oops I mean happy holidays from all in the SV household. Not you Meghan you cunt.

  9. I like bragging and fake bonhomie!

    Dear Ali,
    Sorry to hear about your family in the Grenfell fire,
    Truly tragic.

    Hope you have a merry Christmas,
    I’ll have all my family round feasting, swapping gifts, singing carols etc.

    Bet you miss yours eh?

    Hey my missus can bench press 250lb
    What could yours lift before burning to death?

    Love MNC

  10. Thankfully we only get the one round robin now from a couple of vainglorious windbags who live round the corner.
    This year I enclosed a reply with our card which reads:

    Dear Olivia and Rupert,
    How lovely of you to update us on how well things are chez vous. However I’d have thought a move from General Manager to General Manager (Eastern Region) was a demotion, not a promotion. Whatever.
    Delighted that the girls are doing so well at school. They do look good in that photo you took in the Maldives, though I think you should have photoshopped out the tattoos on Tamara’s upper arms first.
    The new Tesla sounds fun. Was that you I saw trying to thumb a lift on the A1 when it ran out of charge? Sorry I was on the other carriageway otherwise I’d have happily given you a lift in the back of the van.
    Just one other thing darlings – it’s ‘criterion’ not ‘criteria’ in the single. And if you throw apostrophes around they will land in some amusing places, won’t they?
    Merry Christmas friend’s (haha).
    Geordie

    • That is`nt funny, GT. For I AM that Olivia, albeit undergoing racial stereotype reassignment, and i`ts a hard slog! Already Im` out of boot polish. Still, the `Im hoping the designer woodburning stove can replenish me with soot to last me through ti`ll the new year. By the way, wha`ts an “apostrophe”?

      • It’s the latest designer drug, Sam.

        You take one, and it turns you into a rational thinking, hard working human being.

        Avoid.

      • You need a properly updated shopping list, you’re always running out of fucking boot polish.

  11. I don’t like to brag, but I must be the most loathsome cunt here.

    This year I have received absolutely no Christmas cards.

    Fuck all, nada.

  12. To be fair, you’re not going to get a Christmas round robin from an aquaintance that reads

    ” Had a dreadful year. Rupert was arrested for fraud, the business has gone into Receivership and we have been made bankrupt.
    The cars and house have been repossessed, and since the bailiffs have been, we have no furniture, TV, etc., but as we’re being evicted next week, that doesn’t matter too much.
    Fortunately, we managed to pawn the kids electronics, iPhones and my jewellery before that happened.
    Hope you have a wonderful Christmas, and a prosperous New Year.

    Love, Rupert, Bunny and the boys. “

  13. Any normal thinking adult straight man would never have it cross his mind to write anybody at anytime a Christmas card. It’s proper Gay, coupled with the fact its a big waste of paper.
    For arse bandits and old wimminz only I’m afraid.

  14. I used to work with this French bird (a right sort before you ask) who couldn’t get her head round people exchanging cards with cunts they saw in work every day. Apparently in Frogland you only send them to people you rarely see during the year. “That’s why I don’t give cards,”I told her, trying to act all sophisticated and European.” Fucking waste of money” makes me sound like a miserable tight fisted cunt …….a bit too near the truth for my liking.

  15. Every year we sand cards to the neighbours
    There are ten houses in the street
    We know names of most but some just put all at number six etc
    Some send early most cunts wait till we’ve sent one and then send one back
    Today is full of passed off mostly men trying to quietly but a card through the letterbox of folk they don’t really give a fuck about
    If we were cleaver we would remember the names
    As for Christmas I can’t be arsed
    Just people spending money they haven’t got on a load of shit no cunt wants or needs
    Then you have to diet as you put on a stone in one meal
    Plus the tv is really shite
    Round robins I remember the reliant robin and them cunts fell over
    I’ll look at isac for news and watch old monty python stuff on you tube
    Meghan is nearly as big a cunt as poofta Blair

  16. Well, not trying to sound like some sort of virtue signalling cunt, but I make a donation, in lieu of Christmas cards, to a tiny local charity.

    They don’t take pay, or even reimburse their own expenses from what they make, and every month they share the money made from donations, auctions of donated items and raffles amongst various animal charities, who also survive on a shoestring budget.

    There’s no CEO getting paid thousands, often it’s just one or two dedicated people, trying to help dogs, cats and our local wildlife, working out of their kitchens after putting a full days slog in.

    I tip my hat to them.

    • I think this is the way forward with charity, stick to small local ones or alternatively, if you get the urge to help someone out, stick to those you know well, who are in difficulty.
      I had to go to Bedminster in Bristol a couple of days ago ( I’ve heard it described as the largest mutant ghetto in Western Europe) and the card shops there were selling Christmas cards to Nan from the Dog, or Cat. Being from a working class background myself, I wondered if it was a step on from the traditional ” send a card that is five times bigger than it needs to be, preferably padded” phenomenon

  17. Never had one, but if some cunt ever does send one, I’ll send an over the top one back to them.

    ‘This year has been a busy one in chez Bollocks. My penis reduction operation went well. The Mrs can now take my full 14 inches without passing out. 20 inches was a bit much. And that was just the width.

    Elon Musk also promoted me to Head of Rocket design, after I successfully landed a probe on Titan, out of two discarded Pot Noodle containers, an Etch-a-Sketch and a Commodore 64 cassette deck.

    The wife managed to get her fighter pilots’ licence and now teaches the Yanks how to fly the Stealth Bomber properly. They’ve been doing it wrong for years, apparently.

    The cat has learned to open tins of cat food by itself. It’s now teaching the other cats in the street!

    What a year!’

    • That’s my greatest fear, cats learning how to open tins!
      It means they’re developing opposable thumbs. Once they do that, we’re all dead!
      Wean your cat onto foil pouch food, immediately. The little cunts will never be able to figure out how to rip the top off and squeeze the pouch open in the right way, in order to shake the contents into the dish.

      • On the other hand, how’s it going to get fresh deliveries of food, without us?

        Phew, I just talked myself down from the ceiling.

  18. ” our mercedes has got her kids back now she’s got clean,
    And little Dwayne has finished his community service.”

  19. I remember getting this boasting shit from someone and it riled me so much, I ended up sending Robin round to sort the cunt out.

  21. OT, but I did wonder how long it would be, before some brain dead idiot let fireworks off, and we have a winner!

      • Oh yes.
        But it’s all gone quiet over there, since a couple of local lads went over, to have a word.
        One was carrying a bucket of water, hopefully to drown the twat in, but more likely to pour over the air bomb.

      • Like the pillock I saw driving out of the supermarket car park late yesterday evening with a miniature illuminated xmas tree and flashing xmas lights festooned INSIDE his car 😯
        Bet that did his night vision the world of good…

      • There’s a cunt down the road from us who’s got those twattish reindeer antler things stuck on the side of his car, and a squashed Santa sticking out of the boot.
        Takes all sorts.

    • One of my cunty neighbours let off fireworks last night, probably the same cunt who waits until midnight on November 5th before he lets off those flash-bang things, the cunt.

      • Inconsiderate arseholes always wait until midnight on the 5th.
        It must give them pleasure to annoy those trying to sleep cos they’ve got to get up early for work.

  22. my neighbours are massive cunts all year this bitch next door has moaned to me about everything, from my dog peeing in the road to me slamming my car door coming home, so her husband has popped a Christmas card through my door so I did the most sensible thing with it, I used into pick my dog shit up and leave it on the verge outside their house, only fair

  23. Christmas day 06.40 here. Just want to let you know that Father Christmas has been splattered by a three trailer road train just west of Darwin. Fuckin bits of reindeer everywhere so tell the kids not to bother getting up early in your morning.
    Merry Christmas cunties !

  24. ‘Do you know Someone Spending Christmas alone this year?

    Yeah I hate the Fucking Bitch

    Too Lazy to take the Last 4 days milk in and her cat won’t stop crying

  26. Like any other card. Cut the right way, with a pair of scissors they made for excellent roaches. Recycling at it’s most finest! Or so some bloke down the pub told me, many years ago.

  27. Well this year I have had my gate painted a trendy colour. Taken in a homeless person, a Mr Stroker, abused by his former employer, fought a para medic behind the bike sheds and fucked a delectable lady called Izzard.
    Fuck the lot of you. May your balls turn square and fester round the edges. It’s what Xmas is all about.

Comments are closed.