Jezzus H Christ on a bike, spare me from the endless round of Christmas begging. It’s bloody everywhere – on the streets, in the shops, in the post but most of all on the idiot box.
“Just give £10 to help a scrounging lazy good for nothing waster at Christmas.” Fuck. ’em. Let them eat cake. No fucker ever helped me when when I was hard up.
The other day some chuggers cunt from Help the Aged or what ever they call themselves these days came knocking on my door. I pointed at my white hair and said” Wonderful to see you. How much have you come to give me?” He went away scratching his head.
The other night I kept a tally of all the ads on Telly begging for Money. It reached – and I kid you not – £120.06. It was the one asking for just give £19.06 that got me. How very precise!
So here’s my message for all the cheritees who want my dosh this Christmas. There’s a cost of living crisis going on in case you hadn’t noticed so stop wheeling out all those crippled children, old people, homeless fuckers, disabled donkeys, mistreated dogs and all the rest of it and just fuck the fuck off…
Oh – and it looks like band aid are heading for yet another Christmas cringing number one, so here’s my version by Bland Aid that the humourless fuckers have branded unwoke and racist.
Well, at least if I’m cancelled, they won’t be asking me for money…
Nominated by: Dioclese
One thing that I do know as far as appeals re. Africa are concerned. You could send a gazillion quid in aid and for the most part it would still be a shithole.
Morning all.
34
The US of A have spunked over a trillion dollars up the wall trying to help Africa feed itself.
What a criminal waste of cash.
Should have sent a trillion dollars worth of birth control instead. That buys an awful lot of vasectomies and coathangers.
20
Would be cheaper to ship them all to the UK instead of endlessly throwing money to people who live in a fucking area that will never grow anything due to the soil, climate, weather and has no industry or means to create one, or a decent workforce even if they did.
It’s like the eskimos suffering for this SAD symptom due to lack of sunlight, and rather than moving expecting money from the rest of the world to make the sun shine for longer and brighter. Sometimes, people have to realise it’s easier for them to change than it is to change the geographical location that you have ended up in.
5
They deserve a punch in the face 😆
12
I am no white saviour. Cheers for that Lennie Henry and David Lammy. Guess whose wallet stays sealed when the T.V guilt trip for Africa comes on. Mind you it stays sealed for ALL charity ads. Not my circus, not my monkeys.
22
Baby M’Bongo can jog on
7
I would happily give money to the abused donkey fund, if they used the money to cripple the owners, and then load the vermin up with baskets of bricks.
23
Well as you can guess Ladbaby, aided by Martin Lewis (the cunt is everywhere) is number one this Christmas, feed the fucking UK food bank scrounges.
What a pile of shite, no wonder the country is sailing full steam down a black hole (literally)
Bah Humbug!
16
Everything now is designed for the lowest common denominator in society.
I remember being told ‘the easy option in life is always to say I don’t care, rather than I do care and I am going to do something about it’
Society is rapidly heading to the ‘I don’t care’ level, because people simply don’t give a fuck about what they say, what they do, how they look, how they act and how they are perceived by others.
1
I was treated to an advert this morning for little Dark Keys with cleft palettes.
It almost put me off my fry up.
Almost.
Wallet ne’er twitched once.
Beggars for Yuletide Oven.
25
if all of the celebrities and super rich cunts who keep banging on about us plebs donating money to Africa actually pulled their own huge fortune together it would come to a few billion dollars at least. Problem solved (until the next urgent appeal next week)
13
Please give what little you can afford to the
HELP THE CHARITY CHIEF EXECUTIVES FUND.
Bring some cheer to the deserving poor this Christmas. For just £99.99 a month (payable by direct debit) your donation will help towards providing a six-figure salary, pension, company car, BUPA and private education for the children of this underprivileged minority.
22
Everything’s SOOOO expensive in London these days Geordie. Have you seen how much a house Muswell Hill costs?
10
That’s not the half of it, Ron. The Tuscan villa, the ski chalet in Courchevel, the pied-a-terre in the Big Apple for Mrs Chief Executive’s use on her shopping trips, none of it comes cheap ypu know. Then there’s the Tesla parked in the drive to demonstrate one’s eco credentials (whilst driving everywhere in the Range Rover, of course).
In fact the only more deserving people I can think of are The Duke and Duchess of Sussex.
19
Fuck the charity ceo fund. Hang on they can have the steam off my piss. Every little helps.
10
As i fondly remember a draughtsman at work saying about the ethiopia famine back in the 90s “I wouldn’t give them the cheese off my cock”.
13
Great stuff!
A perennial favourite of mind was my Grandad’s ‘I wouldn’t give them the skin off a fart!’ (usually directed with total emnity towards Birmingham City FC and their evil works).
You’re never far from me Grandad.
10
remember guys.
The greatest gift theyl get this year is RICE.
12
As I read this nom fuck me ! Some Asian actor is on telly asking me to give some of my pension to UNICEF,
How much of my £170.00 / week does this cunt think I can spare….
💩
18
The only charities I’ll contribute towards are British, and I’m at the end of my tether with some of those.
I’ve stopped contributing to my favourite charity, the RNLI, until such time as they cease being used as a taxi service for illegal immigrants. Apparently they’ve taken umbrage over the accusation. Well stop doing it then.
24
I used to give regularly to RNLI, but now I’m with you all the way on that one, your Grace.
16
We can donate some hand grenades for the RNLI to stop those goat shaggers coming across our channel
5
6p goes to the “needy”, £19- goes into charity’s deep BMW glove boxes.
16
I thought most African countries were mostly Muslim. wouldn’t my Christian donation offend them?
At least according to some woke universities it would do.
18
Fucking Ladbaby, even the name sounds like something on the Operation Yewtree files. ‘Point to the place on the dolly where he touched you’
In the spirit of Christmas, I welcome the charity bags left on the doorstep. Handy for filling full of rubbish instead of using a black bag or bin liner.
The letters from the Saly Army or RNLI make excellent fire lighters, or at a push, arsewipe paper.
As for the countless appeals for little Sjambo or Mtebes desert water supply, I have followed the doctrine of Lenny Henry and others…. They don’t need my honkies money.
15
Ladbaby sucks donkey cock.Drop him in a silo of animal crap.
3
How about a kick a chugger in the bollocks week? That would help many cunters at any time of year. IF presentable, ladies can have the chuice of a kick in the cunt or a seedy rondezvous in a hotel and get a good seeing to.
9
Lo!
Firstly open your hearts for your fellow man,
Then throw open your wallets.
Come brother, if your in need and taketh what you will.
What is mine is yours and I give freely,
For is that not what is required to enter the gates of paradise?
*
Not really.
Keep your hands to yourself.
But I’m watching King of kings on telly and it’s having a profound impact on me.
I think Jesus would of liked me?
Been impressed by me.
There’s a lot I could of taught him.
8
What like don’t lumber judas with the bill at the last supper.
7
” You can make dreams come true this Christmas”….indeed I could if only mass murder wasn’t classed as a crime.
26
Wanted to nom this myself. I did intend taking pen to paper and work out exactly how much you could be robbed of.
£3 for the donkeys.
£10 stroke.
£29.07 crisis.
The list is endless and would go well into 3 figures.
The thing that pisses me right off is not only is some cunt filming this, and little Charlie who got no hope of having a good Christmas for some reason, he by the way is younger than walking age and would have no idea what Christmas is let alone miss out on one, has an earring and Mum got tattoo’s in which case that’s just piss poor management love so fuck off. Have you noticed the country that little girls are being abused or animals mistreated are never mentioned by name….hmmmm wonder why. Fuck off you scrounging cunts.
10
I vaguely recall a think tank suggesting that 1% of a person’s PAYE should be mandatory allocated to charities whether they employee liked the idea or not.
Either that or an additional 1% on top of the basic rate should be allocated to charities.
In essence, therefore, if you go to work not only do you have to pay 20% income tax, plus national insurance, but also an additional 1% for some fucking charity (people on benefits would be exempt of course)
This was going back 3 or 4 years though, but it wouldn’t surprise me if a future Labour government implemented it.
9
Sounds like a sure fire vote winner to me Techno
4
About time the adverts were realistic.
“Just £10 will help our CEO get a new Mercedes and a 10% pay rise on his 450k salary. It will also help us to buy the African leaders’ cunts for sons a new penthouse and Lamborghini each. And finally it will pay for the photo opportunity showing a fake well and fake happy locals. Give generously. Thank you.”
10
Seriously, what’s the fucking point?
That Oirish fucking tramp was begging for money for ’em back in the eighties & a fat lot of good that did, except cause the filth to breed more. Nowt has changed since.
Fuck ’em, they can have the wind off my shit & be happy.
13
Don’t worry white folk. BLM and Lenny Henry have it all in hand. They no longer need white mans help or money.
The only way out of hell for africa is africa itself. In which case they are doomed to walk 20 miles to drink baboon piss, hyena shit and malaria for evermore. Do they know its Christmas time ? Nope to busy knees deep in corruption and modern day slavery.
11
That bitch Malala has one begging for help for the Pakistanis after the flooding. Blames it on evil honky causing climate change.
Goes on forever that one.
My offer of assisting the flood appeal didn’t go down to well.
I said my hosepipe only reaches the bottom of my garden, but that if they send a much longer one, I’ll do my best to contribute.
10
I don’t know what they are all bitching about everyone knows houses by water bring in a bigger price.
8
We come on here complaining about all kinds of rabble, let’s sit back and enjoy watching them squirm.
8
Charidee is an industry. It does next to fuck all for the needy anywhere. It nourishes charidee workers (especially the ones in London on 6 figure salaries) , warlords and corrupt Africans.
11
How many here recognise the “Lil un” in both Water Aid, Famine Relief, and then Fuck me, she’s blind and needs eye surgery ! Some cunts pulling the pisser.
9
To be fair all the black actors and actresses are run off their feet appearing in all the British adverts.
11
Indeed. One minute they’re swatting flies off their face and the next they’re yodelling for pizza.
11
And what a actress she is.. I heard she going to play a young Margaret thatcher in a upcoming BBC drama..
9
Not to mention young M’Tebe, who’s been walking 8 miles every day for a bucket of Ox piss, in his clean t-shirt and shorts, for the past 10 years and hasn’t aged a day!
9
Our Chef here gets £3 per day per resident, to cook all meals, teas, coffee and cakes. Yes just £3 ! A fucking big thumbs up to the guy, he’s magic.
9
If only thee yanks gave him the Trillion he’d feed the fucking earth forever
6
just check the CEO salary on line before donating any of your hard earned cash to these so called charities
Much better to go buy a homeless person /oap/x servicesin your neighbourhood a coffee or a sandwich
Remember charity begins at home not in some fucking far flung shithole
Merry Christmas yer bunch of cunts
11
I would be happy to bung a load of dough to the scroungers in these third world shitholes if it meant none of the cunts came over here. Unfortunately it doesn’t work like that…….quite the opposite in fact.
8
Rather than put money into African charities, I buy shares in BAe, McDonnel Douglas and other arms manufacturers knowing full well their products will be used in Africa for the most efficient and effective birth control going and in the process making me a very rich evil whitey.
Win-Win methinks………
14
Seems to me Baron that war, pestilence and famine are the only effective forms of birth control in Africa. For example population of Ethiopia is 123,000,000 and roughly doubling every fifteen years.
4
As we see in London the Dark Quays stab and murder each other anyway, without any Honky intervention.
The many African nations killing other African nations is just a big extension of that. Why not make a few quid out of it?
Regarding Ethiopia, I’d use it as a test range for Nuclear, Biological and Chemical weapons (and I’d make sure Bob Geldoff, Bono and all the other feed the world virtue signalling tossers were visiting as the first Nuke falls)
2
Alzheimer’s chuggers are the best, i just we did this five minutes ago. Only charity i will give to is air ambulance or rspca, all other fuckers can cunt off.
3