I remember when Christmas TV adverts were fun and had no pretensions or political agenda. Joe Brown advertising for Woolies. Eric and Ernie playing Atari arcade games, the Famous Grouse adverts. But now every commercial is either smug, pretentious, or fucking woke. Here are the ones that annoy me the most…
Greedy Hollywood bastards like Natalie Portman and Julia Roberts advertising the latest overpriced bottled piss by Dior or Calvin Klein. Haven’t these money grabbing cunts got enough money?
The ‘traditional’ Christmas advert being blackjacked. The one where there’s a typical British family around the dinner table in the traditional setting. Then a black bloke appears as ‘master of the house’ carrying the turkey. How and why? He’s the only black person there. It doesn’t make sense. The usual logic defying woke bollocks. Just shoehorn the dark personage in regardless.
Also, every white woman in these adverts has to be with a black man. According to these modern Christmas commercials, every marriage in the UK is mixed race, and every family has one white kid and one black kid. Total bollocks, of course.
The staggeringly pretentious chocolate adverts. That Lindt/Lindor one. Where some daft cow goes on about it being made ‘especially for you by the Master Chocolatier’. That’s the sort of bullshit that Viz’s Foodie Bollocks and Real Ale Twats takes the piss out of. Who gives a fuck, as long as they can eat it? Also, the ridiculous crunching sound, that sounds like Richie from Bottom getting his bollocks caught in the door. It used to be Roses, Quality Street and Chocolate Orange. Now it’s all this overpriced teeth rotting shite.
Well past it celebrities who were never that good anyway advertising Christmas. That Dawn French fairy thing on the M&S commercials? Which bright spark thought of that? As if an unfunny minger like Dawn fucking French is going to boost sales. The old M&S Christmas adverts with sexy birds in lingerie were much better. After her sickening ‘BLM’ Vicar of Dibley episode, Fatty French should have been banned from telly for life, the cunt.
And Tesco usually always choose some smug celebrity cunt for their Christmas adverts (as if the cunt in the advert actually shops there). I dare say James Corden’s fat face will be on some Christmas advert or other. In actual fact, this year’s Tesco ad is a ‘lecture’ to ‘educate’ us about the cost of living crisis. Naturally, it’s crammed with dark personages. Patronising as fuck.
Nominated by: Norman
And supported by: DCI Gene Cunt
Top-notch cunting that I’d like to second, if I may. The ‘family’, sitting around the table eating Christmas dinner? It looks like the dining table at the United fucking Nations. Whichever company that’s advertising. Don’t forget the ubiquitous frizzy-haired mixed-race kids that Dickens’d have sweeping chimneys with their frizzy nuts in one of his books. Bring back PROPER Christmas ads:
Enjoy the clip, and shed a tear at what/who we’ve lost.
I’ve just seen the Morrisons Xmas advert, great news 100% white.
I don’t really shop at Morrisons but I’m going to today.
I will be spending around £250 on alcohol to give to customers, so that’s £250 the other virtue signalling bastards won’t be getting off Cunty.
Vote with your feet.
29
Go woke go broke – let’s make it happen in 2023👍
16
It’s alright in there Cunty. Mrs won’t go anywhere else. Some good deals in there too. Bread is well nice and all.
ASDA is shit. They ‘don’t do bags’ meaning everything is loose, from tin cans to onions. And they can’t fucking deliver either. My younger sister ordered two boxes of coke cans for Christmas. ASDA driver didn’t bring them. Not because they were out of stock. They were in his van, but – according to their phone monkey – he just ‘forgot’ and he couldn’t be arsed to bring them later or at any other time.
10
ASDA though will go out of their way for their favourite customers. P@k!s, of course.They just do fuck all for everyone else.
ASDA in Bury (near Manchester) is like Islamabad meets Open All Hours. A place to be avoided.
10
Well it would appear I went a bit over the budget I set, almost double as it happens £460!
And that’s 460 Clubcard points I could have got from Tesco but fuck ‘em I stuck to my principles.
7
Give them an inch and they take a mile etc etc…… FUCK OFF!
7
Forget about these annoying adverts and go to xhamsterlive and press the white button.
5
The adverts featuring a family of blicks sitting down to eat a traditional English Christmas dinner get me……..like fuck do they. When was the last time you went out for a Sunday roast and you couldn’t move for families of blicks tucking into plates of roast beef, yorkshires, roasties and thick gravy? Pretty much never I would suggest. To suggest otherwise in the adverts is bollocks…..fried chicken, curried goat, plantain, rice sure…..but not roast turkey with all the trimmings- especially sprouts! All sitting down with christmas jumpers on followed by christmas pud and after eights. If the blicks I know embraced our traditions like the ads suggests then I would think a lot more of them……but they don’t
33
It’s the Magnum ad, with that 80-year old hipster cunt, that boils my piss.
I usually have the teevee on mute when the ads come on, but wasn’t quick enough, so I had the misfortune of hearing the twat taking a bite out of his choc ice.
Sounded like a camel having it’s neck broken by Conan the Barbarian.
The missus thought I was going to kick the telly to death.
Cunting ads, I fucking hate them.
17
Sandi Toskvig advertising ice cream, wittering on about handpicked bourbon vanilla was a pain. However, karma… I heard she is in hospital, and it’s serious.
9
Toksvig near the axe? I fucking hope so. Hated the smug tuppence flicking cunt when I first saw her on that piss poor Tiswas, No.73. And I’ve hated her ever since…
Also, which sort of brain dead cunt buys any sort of ice cream at Christmas?
2
That’s very funny 😂
1
aye i have noticed that, woke oldie cunts have beards, fuck off im older than them and grey
Is grey hair cool now?… fuck off it isn’t I hate my grey hair i need to fucking shave it off now
I tried growing it but i ended looking like jimmy saville
now now then children
2
Has anyone seen the Advertising Standards Authority’s ‘advert’ claiming that they ensure that all adverts are ‘legal, decent, honest and truthful’? They should impose a penalty charge on themselves for daring to say that.
17
The blacks. in these and are obviously master chocolatiers amount of white women they are shagging.
probably a wet dream of some Messed up advertising exec wanting to get taken up the starfish by a Blackman.
13
I used to make a mental note not to buy anything that was advertised in such a manner. Difficult now as nearly 100% off the ads are like it now.
17
I haven’t seen a Christmas advert in several years and don’t believe I’m missing anything.
10
Stop the press! Watching the rugby (fuck off with your ‘opinions’, Emily Scarratt, the only opinion I want from you is whether to have Bourbons or Custard Creams with my half-time coffee), and there’s a McDonalds advert with an all-white family in it! Wunderbar!!
Who do I contact to claim my prize for spotting it?
14
Must be an advert for a German branch
11
Why is it that half chats like Markle and Sir Lewis of Cunt, always refer to themselves as either blick or a ‘person of colour’ when they are as much White as they are Blick…….after all ,they have a choice as to how they wish to be referred to and accepted as, so why do they choose blick over white? Wonder how the White half of their parentage feel about that?
13
‘so why do they choose blick over white?’
To jump on the ‘Victim’ bandwagon? We all love a bandwagon, don’t we, especially a chippy mixed-race type.
13
Same with Beyonce and Obama. Both are half white, but you’d never know it, because they never mention it.
3
I hated adverts, but I now detest them. If advert world is to be believed, we are all either in mixed race marriages with a couple of Caramac picaninis, black and living in a 2 million quid, clean house (p lease), donut punchers/liver lickers, Muslims with British accents and white mates or cross dressing child molesters.
11
“Black-jacked”. That’s fucking gold am I’m lifting it just so you know.
Many adverts now show a group of people that make you wonder what the fuck is happening and that’s by design. 3 gay couples? 3 mixed race couples? 6 friends? Who’s kid is that? Guess it’s left up to the viewer to decide.
I think I’ll go watch some Leave it to Beaver now.
5
MFP £1.49 !!! Wildly over priced….
1
And I bloody hate all those perfume and aftershave adverts. Hollyweird has beens and slappers flogging some dishwater in a posh bottle with some designer cunt label on it.
The current one with Natalie Portmouth in it particularly gets on my onions. Maybe it’s because she’s a can’t act always preaching woke vegan MeToo/Time’s Up self serving money grabbing gobshite hypocritical stick insect no tits cunt. Yeah, that’s it….
4
And apart from that ‘feisty’ head wobbling talk to the hand dark personage in that recent Obi Wan Kenobi shite, Portmouth is the worst actor in Star Wars that’s ever been. And that’s up against some pretty tough competition.
2