Demand Flexibility Service

Posted on by

Here we go, well on our way to state controlled energy use.

Ofgem have approved the rollout of the demand flexibility service, aka don’t use leccy at peak times, it al looks peachy because (if you have a smart meter, yes now we see the true purpose) you can save money by not using power at peak periods from November to March between 4pm and 7pm.

It’s all in a bid to prevent power cuts, that they say are actually very unlikely, so what is it all about, it’s the dash to not gas.

The experiment is to test the future, when the Net Zero cunts get their way and we are running hand to mouth on wind and solar as the base load with a bit of nuclear to keep essential services running in the dark cold winter when the fucking wind doesn’t blow

We are, without a doubt, being fucking played.

Mirror News Link

Nominated by: Sick of it

66 thoughts on “Demand Flexibility Service”

  1. No heating, sky high prices, debt, unemployment, inflation, crime, immigration, show-trials.

    The new normal.

      • I think we’ve been holding a ticking bomb probably since Thatcher, definitely since Blair, and it’s going to blow up, very soon.

        Sterling is a fiat currency, and history shows that 99% of all of these currencies went pop. The remaining 1% are mostly less than 100 years old and all of them are based on nothing, absolutely nothing, except debt.

        UK national debt is around 6 Trillion (with a T) when pension obligations are included.

        We’re fckd.

  2. Ofgem approved it did they?

    Then it’s guaranteed to be total and utter shit.

    No doubt some set of cunts will make “smart” meters mandatory to help with the “climate emergency”.

    They’d better come mob handed to Chez Terry that being the case.

    I’ve been training with some hard cunt behind some bike shed down south somewhere..

    Stick your rattling bare bones energy businesses up your are Ofgem.

    C u n t s.

    • About a year ago I had a call from some cunt asking me why I didn’t want a smart meter, I said because I don’t you (as the energy provider) to control when and how I use my gas and electricity, the silly tart on other end of the phone said ‘oh that will never happen’ 😂

      • ‘oh that will never happen’
        That’s Phase 1.
        Phase 2 is ‘we have no plans to’
        Phase 3 is ‘ download the app without which you can’t boil the kettle’

        Technomanagerial control freaking cunts.

      • Reminds me of a telephone conversation I had with a man at the Halifax Building Society back in the late seventies. I was told “We don’t do repayment mortgages any more. Why would you want such rather than an endowment mortgage?” I said it seemed to me that an endowment mortgage meant I was gambling the house on the stock exchange. He laughed and said barring world war 3 happening it was absolutely safe. I got my repayment mortgage from another source. I had the last laugh. At the end of the mortgage term we owned the house outright, nothing owing.
        In similar vein some of the most revered financial institutions are now pushing equity release hard. Until very recent times received wisdom was that it should be number eleven on your list of ten available options. Any odds on when this becomes the latest financial scandal?

      • Oh, for sure, Arfur.
        In fact, there are savvy people advising folks not to go for equity release.
        They’ll be sob stories galore, no doubt, about people left in dire straights because they’ve fallen for this financial con trick.

    • P S. The only things to survive will be cockroaches and pikeys and I’m not too sure about the former.

    • They should have brought nuclear energy, or rather thermo-nuclear to the countries that are now swarming into the UK. Afghanistan should have been turned into a self illuminating, glass topped car park a decade ago. Along with Somalia, Iran, Albania, Rumania, Israel and the Peoples Republic of Inner Londonistan. All cunts!

  5. Tis the same bullshit every year, scare tictacs with powercuts etc etc et fucking cetera, come the revolution and i establish my reich, who will be first against the wall, with rainbows on it of course. Controlling cunts.

  6. And of course a shortage of Christmas Turkeys……..bird flu this time not brexit.
    Just do what the Dooshkas do…..kill a fucking swan! Very tasty.

    • The Eastern Europeans around my way thought it was fair game to go fishing and take home all the trout for dinner.

    • Swan upping is illegal. But a swan can do whatever it likes. There’s a famous painting of one shagging a lass.

  7. Here in Cornwall the water company claims that its main reservoir is only 15% full. It pisses down here 4 days a week and has done since August. What the fuck is going on?

    • In ‘sunny’ Yorkshire we still have a hosepipe ban, just wait until January when the cunts start reducing reservoir levels to prevent possible flooding 😂

      • We don’t need a hosepipe atm, in Sheffield.
        It’s pissed it down on and off for days. No point washing your car, no point washing your clothes, can’t get them dry, no need to water your planters or gardens. I’ve had to move some pots into the shed, the plants were drowning.
        Fuck a bunch of hosepipe bans!

    • Whenever we have a drought our local reservoir rapidly runs out a dries up…….when it’s like that, why the fuck don’t they get in there with a few JCB’s and dig it a bit deeper for when it does rain?????

      • Mr JP,

        No, no, no, you’re not playing the game properly.

        What you need, as a water company boss, are ‘aspirations’.

        What you do is aspire to build bigger reservoirs and better, non-leaking networks, issue bold statements about targets and incentives, sprinkle in some eco waffle and hopelessly underestimated costs and schedules, then charge customers and your mates in government crippling amounts of lovely lolly (don’t forget to pay said mates their ‘lobbying fees’), then build a small paddling pool and announce ‘Job done!’

        Like HS2.

    • I think I read somewhere that in Britain we only use 2% of the rainwater that falls. We will never have a water shortage. What we do have is infrastructure to collect and distribute it which is inadequate for the job during prolonged dry spells.

    • How is it we appear to be plenty of room for millions of immigrants, illegal or otherwise, but no room for a few extra reservoirs to water the cunts.

  8. Run your tumble dryer at night, so when it catches fire(too fucking stupid to clean the filter) you will die. That will save energy. Fucking cunts.
    Anybody remember The Guardians, early 70’s ITV series.

    • Yes! You would have thought one of those in that same described state, would have done the Grenfell Tower, not a Hotpoint fridge.

  9. It’s absolute bollocks – now I am retired I don’t have to eat at 6 in the evening or shower at 5.30, but as the spouse has the TV on all day every day what you gain on the roundabouts you lose on the swings. It is a big con. Even if you operate the washing machine before 6 a.m. (and that is possible in my home as I get up early), you need to have lights on when in our fucking winter it is dark at 4.00 in the afternoon.

    Let’s go back to gas and coal.

  10. I launched our smart meter my wife agree to have……cunting thing caused us more arguments, than if I had been shagging her best mate ANY all her work colleagues behind her back and she had just found out.

    So, it tells you when you are using most electricity……I fucking know that, I don’t need a meter to tell me. If the lights are on, the immersion heater on, coz I’m having a shower and I’m making myself a cup of tea while dinner is in the oven I know I am using more than when I am out at work or asleep. I don’t need another device as an excuse for my wife to nag me about saving electric…….when does she expect me to have a shower, make a cuppa or have my dinner….4 o’clock in the morning.

    It’s all a load of bollocks telling you what you already know.

    • I love the argument that having a smart meter can save you money. Why? Does knowing how much it costs to boil the kettle make it cheaper? No. The only thing that makes it cheaper is not having a hot drink by not turning the fucking thing on.

    • If you can provide a monthly reading of your steam meter there is absolutely no need for a smart meter, and if you are capable of translating kWh into GBP, you are well aware of how much you are using.

      Works for me, anyway.

      • Me too. I take meter readings for gas, electricity and water on the 1st of every month, upload them to the providers and log them on a spreadsheet I set up a few years ago to monitor usage. I can see in an instant where I’ve used an excessive amount even if I may not know why. But a smart meter isn’t going to tell me that either.

      • Dead right Komodo, a point I made on here a few weeks ago. “Smart” meters must be intended for people whose primary school didn’t teach arithmetic.

  11. I told my supplier that I did not want a smart meter either. there is a relay in those things that the suppliers can switch the supply off remotely. I note the bastards don’t announce that on their boring little adverts.

    • Yeah, like Sky Glass TV’s. Nobody mentions that if you leave Sky the TV is just a TV, not even a smart one.

  12. The OVO cunts keep sending me a “Book Your Smart Meter Invitation Card.” Like I’m going to have some sort of party. I am not interested. It’s clever that the consumer has to pay to ‘power it up.’ That I guess is smart. If you piss them off, by witholding money owed, they can cut you off at their end, instantly. But the most worrying thing is they will know when you have gone on holiday, & I’m not buying into any of that.

    • This is the lot who said leave your oven door open when you have finished cooking, just one of many ways to save, needless to say it didn’t go down well.

      Maybe a an invitation to take it up the arse would be more appropriate 😂

      • The cunt that thought up them snide comments should have been stuck in an igloo, with a polar bear for company. And a visit to one of Uncle Terry’s ovens on his return, if he was still alive.

  13. Rumours abound that some energy companies are pressing the government to introduce a law to make smart meters mandatory.
    Their pretext/excuse is to “conserve energy supplies” and more or less save the fucking planet again. But we all know the real reason, and this nom is exactly it!

    We’re just a few steps away from the Social Credit Rating System and the WEF will be hugely satisfied as their Great Reset jigsaw finally falls into place.

    • One thing you can rely on in this country, it’s citizens are the first in the world to get fucked by it’s government on the basis of it being the best course of action for the rest of the world, and that we need to ‘set an example’. Only us mind, not the people supposedly in charge.

      • Wtf does my phone reckon it knows how to fucking spell? Its citizens/government, not fucking it’s!

    • I purchased an Efergy meter from Tandy a few years ago. It has a transmitter with a clamp that connects around the outside of the mains incoming live. A receiver gives a continual reading of the Wattage being used. Just by pulling out the plugs of everyday appliances brings the reading down That has been my Smart Meter.

  14. D’know bout smart meters but I do know that around here it’s defo better that people are switching off unnecessary lights. My fuckin neighbour used to have his twelve patio lights (not low powered nor solar) on until he went to bed at ~midnight. Cunt. This energy crisis could also have unimagined benefits … like reducing the cuntish nonsense of christfuckinmus lights and projectors illuminating the whole house … real fuckin cunts.

    • If only.
      A neighbour has had his Christmas light display on since the 12th of this month.
      If he switches them off on 12th night, that’ll be 2 fucking months of flashing lights etc.
      Considering there’s 4 adults and 4 children living there, none of whom have a legal, tax paying job, I have to wonder how they fucking pay for the electricity and he adds to the display every year. This year, its a rope of coloured led lights all around the garden fences, which go beautifully with the flashing ( literally) Santa.

  15. Was supplied electricity and gas by SSE. Was informed by SSE that I would have to have a smart meter because the radio frequency used by my existing meter was being reallocated ie sold off.
    In due course a chap turned up and fitted a smart gas meter and a smart electricity meter. Also provided was an in house unit so we could monitor our usage.
    Well the in house unit worked for three weeks then was unable to connect to the meter even when I placed the unit on top of the meter cupboard.
    OVO then took over SSE so they now supply us with gas and leccy On examining the online account at OVO I discovered that the smart meters had not supplied any meter readings since they were installed about two years ago. I have written to OVO, attempted to telephone OVO emailed OVO no joy. All we get is a message on the online account informing me that the meters had sent fuck all in two years and could I supply readings which I do.
    If this fucking cuntish system is an example of the progress made towards energy management then we are rightly fucked. Get the rush light holders out chaps.biscuit

    • First, they can’t make you pay for more than 12 months “arears” because their shitty meter isn’t working.
      Secondly, get down to the nearest Citizens Advice Bureau. CAB hate, and I mean hate, all service industries like power, telecoms, water.
      They will have a number for OVO ( which I’m beginning to think is some incredibly shy marsupial, as it never seems to show its face) and CAB will help you.
      Good luck, let us know how it goes.

  16. I imagine they’ll target those of us who have resisted the urge to install one so far, with money off for using less at peak times. Once they’ve got you, you’re in the system, ready to be monitored / turned off. Bastards

    • Get all the fucking Civil Service office staff to work nights so they save on electricity. In fact, get all the Civil Service office staff out of their houses and into the fucking office. Working from home, yeah right.

  17. Good cunting, Sickie.

    I cunted Smart Meters on here a few tears ago in the form of a telephone conversation. The Shit-biscuit employees call annually to ask in their amazed voices why I haven’t got a Smart Meter and I keep them talking in the hope they’ll tick another box. They’re as fanatical as a Remoaner and just as stupid.

  18. I would have thought that all those flashing coloured lights on my smart meter would be wasting electricity.

Comments are closed.