Men Who Wear Shorts on the Streets

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I’m sick of seeing blokes wearing shorts in urban settings. It’s fucking October. More to the point, you aren’t on the beach or at the gym, so get a pair of jeans on, you slob.

This seems to be a new fashion/lifestyle choice – the slob look/lifestyle. Men should never show their legs in public, makes you look like a right bellend, not a good look, but it has crept into society in the past few years along with the many other bad choices of young folk. And it’s not those knee-length shorts, it’s those barely-covering-the-scrotum jobs that late-1970s footballers wore – short-shorts.

Men’s fashion, basic style has became bad, bad, bad this century. It’s all those gay fashion designers who pushed that with the skinny jeans, hipster beard, bouffant hairdos. But shorts are never a good look, that’s why you are keen to get out of them after the gym or football match.

We live in Britain not Brazil, for fuck’s sake.

Nominated by: Le Cunt

111 thoughts on “Men Who Wear Shorts on the Streets”

  1. I wear shorts from around April -late September.

    Big baggy ain’t half hot mum military shorts with loads of pockets.

    Then in winter the classic look of jeans an rigger boots.

    Now this country is semi tropical it’s too much to work in long pants,
    My Jacobs are like 2 boil in the bag pototos.

    • Mis, it was a scandal that you weren’t accepted into the Village People in 1978, their loss was ISAC’s gain!

  3. Speaking as a trick cyclist, it is easy to understand how men wearing shorts in the street would be of major concern to the latent homosexuals among us.

    Morning all. 😁

  4. I love this nomination, it’s an abomination to see grown men wandering around town like an overgrown boy scout, I can just about get it in the middle of Summer when its 30c and above, but any other time it’s a big no, I think these degenerates should be taken to re-education camps with the shorts burnt on a bonfire and then only after a few weeks of re-training can they be re-admitted into society wearing proper trousers, note on the link below an awful lot of the fashion crimes involve shorts.
    https://teamjimmyjoe.com/2013/05/male-fashion-disasters-worst-dressed-fails/

  5. They’re just so comfortable.
    They let your undercarriage breathe.
    And I like to show of my tattoos.

    I’ve got great legs.
    Nobody says so,
    Probably shy?
    But know I have.

    Sort of a chav Victor Mature in Samson and Delilah 🙂

  6. Shorts!!! fecking shorts outside a sporting environment should make the wearer open to public humiliation and a good flogging.
    Never have I donned a pair of the fecking things since that wonderful day I left school and went to work and tied an apron on.
    You can spot a farrier on beach from 50 yards, brown neck and arms with white spotted legs with no hair on top of thighs and none on inside of calf’s so best to keep legs under wraps. No matter how hot it gets no shorts, only Jean’s and steel toecap boots and shirt. Men in shorts is nearly as bad as men in mandals.

  7. I can just imagine Ronnie and Reggie with their smart jackets and ties, crisp white monogrammed shirts, shorts, finished off with gleaming brogues. Where would they put their cutlasses, Lugers and coshes? Not been thought through very well.

  8. Great nomination. There’s a cunt who is a regular in my local. He wears them all year round.
    It appears that postmen wear the things all year round too.
    I reckon only wimminz should wear them, but even then, only fit ones, with no spiders legs hanging out.

    • Billy Ballsack, is his name. Never has to buy a round as the rancid smell of scrote-cheese keeps every at 20 paces.

    • Good observation Smythe, I just realise my regular postman wears shorts all year round.
      He’s a short hairy bearded thing so I try to avoid eye contact as a rule.
      He looks fucking desperate and up for anything with a pulse so I don’t want him to think he’s on a winner.

  9. Just part of the gay-ification of soceity.
    Men’s legs are unattractive and should be covered. Fact.
    In WWII British soldiers wore shorts in N. Africa and Burma and frankly they look a bit gay prancing about in the Pathe film footage.
    In the hot sun you should cover your skin to keep cooler, not expose it. Counter intuitive, but true.
    Be ‘afraid of sunlight’ like me, wear long trews and long sleeves and a hat all year round and stay pale.
    Shorts are for cheerleaders and gays.

    • We Honkies, the purest of God’s children need to protect our melanin-free skin. Enough exposure to a harsh Sun and you can die from exposure.

    • My Father was a fucking stunner, really handsome
      as a young man & photos of him in his khaki shorts & knee high socks looked dead cool stationed out in Cyprus.
      But once he got old & still insisted on wearing shorts we had to have a word with him. Arse tight shorts on withered buttocks with one bollock peeping out isn’t a good look on the Cornish Riviera.

      • I saw an old chap wearing just a red thong and sandals in the Co-Op in Exmouth. Nobody said a word to him ( I understand the supermarkets don’t like men with no shirt on, which seems less controversial). This bloke bent over right in front of me, which I could have done without. I did see him doing that a few more times going round the shop so maybe an exhibitionist.

  10. I boiled in jeans today. Shall have to get something lighter. But I would’ve felt a twat in shorts, waiting 15m in rain, albeit liight, for the bus at quarter to nine.

    • As another cunter mentioned earlier, most of them do it so that everyone will notice the tattoo on their leg. They actually think they’re impressing people. Immature tossers.

  11. I only wear shorts to show off the massive tattoo on my leg.

    Most people are rightly impressed.

    I only had it to look hard.

    It was very expensive.
    So much so I had to stop maintenance for my kids for a few months and have my cat put down.

    Worth every penny!👍

  12. Bollocks! If you think I’m wearing jeans in this tropical heat you can just about jolly well bigger off! I think Le Cunt has seen my sturdy, tanned thighs and is smitten with jealousy! Away with you! Did not Our lord say “Thou shalt not wear clothing that causes an outrage of sweaty pods in thine own loin cloth”?

    • was that number 7 or 8? after the one that commanded
      Thou shall not bugger your neighbour’s ox

  13. Yes, I saw your magnificent tree-trunk gams as you pranced through the wild flowers this summer! And the vision filled me with the radiant love the Creator that cleansed by soul, Foghorn! 🙂

  14. My knees click like a bloody rubiks cube as it is. If I wore shorts at this time of the year, I’d be fucked.🙄

    I see assorted riff raff and postmen and the like wearing shorts. Where did this insane trend come from? Shorts, in a Northern English Winter?!!❄❄❄😣

  15. There’s this 20 odd blonde bit who lives in our street. During the Summer she wears these white shorts I say shorts, but you can see her arse more or less. And it is a sight to behold. Endless legs and all.😍

  17. I wear shorts pretty much all year round, not smart shorts either, the fabric, jogging bottom material shorts, why would I be uncomfortable in jeans when I can be comfy in shorts. Plus, I couldn’t give two fucks what anyone thinks, I’m trying to impress no one. Those complaining about it being cold at 10 degrees, clearly live down south, 10 degrees is warm up north. You can fuck off if you’re jealous of my comfort and my distinct lack of giving a fuck 😂

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