Halloween [5]

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(The “trick” is that they’re all geezers in the header pic – Day Admin)

This linked video is from the news of teachers in Scream masks terrifying babies at a playgroup.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkLY4TkAzzM

Now I’m well known for being a disliker of all children but for fucks sake this turned my guts over. Their excuse was IT’S ONLY HALLOWEEN FUN. Thankfully these cunts have been arrested now before the parents could kill them.

I grew up in 1950’s Kent and Halloween didn’t exist in England. It’s imported American shit.

First I even heard of it was when one of my kids came home from school in the 90s and asked if they could go trick or treating.

“What the hell is that?” I asked, as you do.

“I have to have a fancy dress costume”

“OK, what else?”

“I have to go out tonight when it’s dark with my mates”

“OK, why?”

“We have to knock on a stranger’s door & ask them for sweets and if they don’t give us any we have to throw an egg at them”

“Ask your Father”

“Already did, he said a rude word”

“Well that’s your answer then.”

How is it ever OK to wrap kids in black bin bags and let them knock on some dirty old cunts door in the dark and take sweets from a stranger!
Halloween can get to fuck.

Nominated by: Markle is a whore

Seconded by: Norman

Halloween…. A right load of cunt.

When I was a lad, Halloween was seen as a wee bit of fun. A bit of dressing up and some games at school. A fun, but minor event. Now? It’s even bigger than Easter here in Britain. And, of course, modern parents and chavs absolutely lap it up. The way these cunts decorate their entire houses – inside and out – is ridiculous. Halloween lights?! For fucks sake. But there they are. And the vogue for slasher clowns and loads of blood is also rather disturbing. When I was a kid, it was witches and skeletons and the odd Bat. Now, its kids dressing as Ted Bundy or having fake blood all over them. Totally vulgar schlock.

What the fuck do killer clowns and serial killers have to do with All Hallows Eve? Again, it shows the ignorance of modern cunts and yet more American vulgarity that has infiltrated Britain (don’t get me started on school fucking proms!). it also shows the sheer stupidity of modern parents. They spend a fortune on this tacky shit, only a couple of months before Christmas? More money than sense and rank stupidity. Also, any adult who dresses up for Halloween or goes to a Halloween party is a complete knobhead.

https://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/opinion/comment/commercialisation-of-halloween-is-frightful-40995761.html

Trick or Treat, cunts! Here’s something truly horrifying for Halloween, courtesy of the Admin Team.

102 thoughts on “Halloween [5]”

  1. Dont mind it really, it’s a bit of fun and all that. Always enjoy carving pumpkins, always three, one for me one for shmbo and one for the Springer as he is our child. Soft cunt me.

  2. Like fucking Proms, Halloween is imported Yankee shite. Wasnt a thing when I was a kid, just bonfire night. Shite.

    • Yep, teenage years in Kent in the 1980s it was a walk down to the back of the garden.

      2 sparklers and then one pathetic bang, and after a minute or two walked back in, that was it.

      • I recall being a teenager in Kent, and also having a pathetic bang at the bottom of the garden which only lasted a minute or two………I managed to last a bit longer as I got older.

  3. A good cunting simply on the basis i have a daughter who is now 12 and since the age of 6 ive had to pay out for and carve three fucking pumpkins for her…..all of which last about 4 days before they collapse into a putrid pile of cack next to my front door. The only saving grace is i have never been roped into knocking on doors with her….the wife thinks a bloke walking around in the dark with a young girls knoecking on doors asking strangers for sweets is a recipe for arrest.

    Its all a load of american imported shit……give it a few years and the uk lemmings will be going thanksgiving as yet another excuse for chavvy people to cover their council houses in another load of chinese plastic shit

  5. I love Halloween – I`m just trying to be like Michael Jackson in that Thiller video … M`lud.

  7. We didn’t really celebrate Halloween as kids but I remember this fondly!

    We were about 12yr,
    Boys an girls,
    We decided to go the graveyard for Halloween.
    It involved walking over a playing field, through the woods on a abandoned railway line, past a waterfall through another woods to the graveyard.

    This one lad was dead Mard,
    Superstitious, Irish parents,
    He didn’t want to go.
    But the girls convinced him.
    He was bricking it all the way.

    When we got there there was a big marble slab with a cross on it,
    And stood on it was Count Dracula 🦇

    No shit, top hat, fangs, redlined cape,
    The fuckin lot!
    This costume must of cost a few quid and assume they were older kids/students out for a laugh?

    I pointed ,”DRACULA!!”
    The girls screamed,
    An we all set off running.
    This Irish lad was hysterical,
    He ran blind.

    Straight into a open grave!!😄

    We got him out an he was sobbing his heart out,
    Pissed his pants.

    I couldn’t breathe for laughing.
    The girls were saying

    “Awww, yet alright Tony?
    Want to go home?”

    Then glaring at me

    “Don’t be tight!!
    He’s pissed his pants!”

    Which set me off again 😆

    He never knocked about with us again.
    The soft twat.

    Anyway, yeah.
    Halloween is fuckin brilliant 👍

    • I fell in a grave once when me and my mates were legging it from the police. Saved me from getting nicked lol.

  8. I’ve noticed that some people have “decorated” their houses with Halloween themed tat, and did so several days ago. In one case, it was on display the first week of October.
    Daft cunts!
    In keeping with the spirit of the season, I put a laminated notice on my door that reads
    “Don’t knock”

    • Typically Jewish that JP.
      😁
      Few sweeties won’t break the bank !!

      I of course have bowls of Swizzles Matlow ltd finest put out for them.

      I’d demand you open up and pay me just tribute.
      Rap hard on your door.

      Open up!
      I know your in there!
      😆

      • It’s not that I’m tight fisted, Mis.
        Last year I put a politely worded notice on the door, and left a big bowl of sweeties out.
        The first group to call tipped the entire lot into their swag bags, greedy little twats. I hope they spent the night vomiting!
        I’m just too old and creaky to be getting up every few minutes these days. It takes me forever to get on my feet.

      • Last year JP I bought loads and the little fuckers never shown!!😡

        Maybe their parents had heard the terrible rumours about me?

        I had to eat the shite myself.
        Was in my work bag for weeks.

        Thought the fat little cunts would risk it wouldn’t you?

      • Isn’t the tradition ‘trick or treat’?

        They ask for either one.

        Well, give them a trick. Thems the rules. Don’t want the little shits knocking on your door? Simply empty a large chip pan full of scalding hot fat over them.

        Or give them dog shit in sweet wrappers.

        In fact, there are some trick or treaters coming down the path now. They appear to be in full fancy dress. Adults not kids. They appear to be dressed as police officers too. Went the whole hog, they’ve even done their car up to look like a police car!

        Now where’s that chip pan?

      • All that out of date Aldi own brand chocolate comes in handy this time of year JP, let them feast of Sneakers and Kit Twat bars.

      • I’m going to do what I do every year: Leave a large empty bowl at the top of my steps with a sign on it that says, ‘Please take one’.

      • That’s exactly what I might as well have done last year.
        Destroy my faith in human kindness and what you get back is zero.
        All those Chupachups, mini bags of Haribo, fun size Mars, Twix, Crunchies, all down the maws of 5 fat cunts.

      • I dress up as Diane Abbott Cap, usually sees the little cunts off unless one of them comes dressed as Jeremy Corbyn, then things might get a bit awkward.

      • I like getting sugar free sweets and chocolate with sorbitol in it……..too much of that and you will be shitting through the eye of a needle within 40 minutes of consumption.

        Fucking funny

  9. Fuck it , American shit. Wrap some radishes garlic cloves onions up and give em to the fuckers. Or shout trick and douse them with the garden hose. Bastards.

    • AH yes. Halloween. The night all the local chavcunts come a-begging, and expect me not to throw a bucket of water over them just before setting the dog on the cunts………

  10. IMPORTANT
    Just be aware that there’s several Halloween cyberattacks going on around the country/world at the moment, most of them from Russia/China and are bringing down several Microsoft active directory and DNS servers along with some social media servers, including Instragram from datacentres around the world.

    Not everyone is affected, but activity will become more intensive over the next 12-24 hours. Make sure your antivirus/malware is up to date and be careful how you use social media should you use it.

    https://www.techradar.com/news/these-microsoft-servers-are-helping-fuel-massive-ddos-attacks

  11. I am planning to get into the spirit of hallowe’en by ignoring any knock at the door and just screaming fuck off you cunts, I hope the vicar doesn’t call tonight 😂

    My local vicar did come round once, can’t remember what it was about though.

    Hoping for torrential rain but it doesn’t seem likely 😢

    • You tight cunt Sicky!
      Give em some sweets an they’re off.
      No harm.
      Or answer in your tightest budgie smugglers.

      They won’t be back!😄

      • Hehe, I am being very responsible, don’t want to encourage the little cunts to eat too many sweets, just thinking of their welfare.

        I tried the budgie smugglers last year and even more turned up 😳

      • You can see the tv in our living from from the front door window……I leave it playing on the freeview babestation channel at peak halloween bothering time.

        Has the effect of the parents suggesting their kids don’t knock, or in my dreams some milf will see it and offer to come in and watch it with me coz her boring husband isn’t interested in her anymore since she’s had kids and she just needs some attention………

  12. When our own history and traditions are constantly being sneered at by left-wing politicians and academics, it’s inevitable that people will look for inspiration from other countries to have fun.

  13. We used to get a few knocking a couple of years ago but once I started directing them to the kindly landowning aristocrat up at Fiddler Towers they mysteriously stopped.

    • The sponging little bastards and their benefits-milking parents can Fuck right off….. I’ve got my bucket of stale piss behind the door in the hope that the bastards are stupid enough to knock on my door.

  14. Well indeed.

    I was only watching Dracula the other day and I noted carefully that Winona Ryder has absolutely fantastic tits.

    So in conclusion I now am in favour.

    Of pretty ladies in a Victorian see through nighty.

    • I’ve always had a thing for wynona.
      The fact she’s a theiving cunt has strangely intensified this.

      I’d like to go shoplifting together,
      Get home, sing ‘jump in the line’ together,
      Then shred her Victorian goth underwear ,
      An sink my winkie deep whilst she strangles me with a black satin bra.❤️🦇

    • I’d overcome my mistrust of Jews when it comes to Winona…..Her father is from a Russian Jewish and Romanian Jewish family so it’s no great surprise to me that she’s a bit light-fingered.

    • Winona looks milfmongous in that Stranger Things, Tez.
      The series itself is shite, but she is still well tasty…

  15. If we have to put up with this imported colonial dogshit, we should be allowed to go the whole hog……
    And give any cunt who knocks a door in the dark both barrels through the letterbox.
    Load of hairy dripping CUNT.

    • It’s not imported.
      Well, not really.
      It’s British,
      The ancient Festival of Samhain,
      Or “death of summer”.
      Celtic.
      The yanks took it,
      Jazzed it up made it fun and sold it back to us!

      They definitely get into things the yanks!
      I like that about them.

      Christmas an that,
      They get into it.

      Not like the miserable bastard’s here.🙂

      • All the good parts, like the daft games and dressing up as ghosts or skeletons, are English. However, the shite bits like trick or treat or dressing up as Spiderman or Indian Jones, are American.

      • Indian Jones? No kids dress like that, but they do dress as Groomers in white sheets.

  16. Be grateful you don’t live in Kent. There’s a knock on the door and instead of a few faux American brats wanting “candy” you’ve got a load of fucking Albanian drug dealers wanting to move in!
    And don’t you dare say no you raaaaaaaaay-sist.

    • I watched the commons select committee questioning home office officials today, what a fucking joke.
      If an Albanian cunt says they have been trafficked the are given a 45 day rest and recovery period before any other action.

      You couldn’t make this shit up, no wonder we are in a fucking mess.

      • Yes, coming from Albania, straight from Dover to any means of sending the cunts straight back to sunny safe Albania.
        How the fuck is it our responsibility even if Albanians are genuinely being trafficked, it’s fucking Albania who are signed up to all the international laws on modern slavery.
        12000 of the cunts, that’s almost 1% of the entire male population of Albania.

        We are Cunts!

  18. It’s total bollocks. Parents tell their kids not to take sweets from strangers.
    Then they encourage to kids to knock on doors and take sweets from strangers. The mind boggles.

    I have taken the batteries out of my doorbell just now. They can fuck off.

  19. It’s another foreign import. Another nail in the coffin of British culture. Soon we will be to all intents and purposes the 51st state of the USA (or the 55th according to that senile old cunt in the White House).

  20. If all those girls on the nom picture turn up then fair enough. But it’s more likely to be some snotty little buggers that I’m already subsidising.missus puts out pumpkins but it’s my job to answer the door. If I was on my own I’d go to the pub

    • Admin says they’re all chaps.

      Really? WTF???

      Couple of them look iffy but if it’s getting to the point where you really can’t tell there’s gonna plenty of court cases in the near future.

      And murders.

      They’re not blokes. I think Day Admin was trying to be amusing. – NA.

      • NA,
        Thanks for the info.

        Phew!!!

        Thought I might have to self identify as a … well, I don’t know, it’s all very confusing.

        Just glad I’m not turning into an ass-bandit. Or a lezzer, or… oh forget it 😃

  21. It may be British in origin (everything is British in origin, the whole fucking world copies us 🇬🇧) but it’s a load of money making Yank crap. On the high street on Saturday night I saw loads of grown adults dressed up like cunts. It’s pissing down here so I take that as God’s judgement of these sheeplike fuckwits.

    • I wish it was pissing it down here, like it did yesterday.
      Fuck me, it was like being on a whaler in a force 9!
      During this deluge, between squalls and heavy seas, as it were, my fabulous son in law, Big Ian, put new roofing felt on my shed.
      Kudos to him.
      Digressed a bit, but what a bloke!

      • I’ve bought in stuff I like in case they don’t knock.

        Chocolate coins, pork scratchings,
        Uncle Luke’s.

        Don’t like it?
        John on you fat little fuck.

  22. I like Halloween, I let Sam my Belgian shepherd loose in the front garden and I dress up like Jimmy saville circa 1978, been doing it for 10 years and somehow I never get trick or treated

  23. In my version of Halloween, the fucking little sponging bastard brats would knock politely, thank the tax payer profusely for subsidising their education and general existence and hand over a token of that gratitude in the form of a £500 cheque.

    But no. It’s more of the same old same old…me me me…gimme gimme gimme.

    Children: Producers of nothing. Consumers of everything. Get Polio and fuck off.

    • And that’s the kindlier version of how I currently feel about our next generation of medics, police and Government.

    • Kids are scum. Attention seeking, demanding, loud, very expensive and above all ungrateful.

      They don’t change much when they grow up, which seems to be around 40 nowadays.

      • Exactly. Hear! Hear!

        If people want to have kids, fine. But a) keep them away from me at all times and b) fucking pay for the bastards yourself and stop sponging off tax payers to help subsidise the revolting consequence of two of you cunts fucking each other.

        Is that so fucking unreasonable?

      • Mr Yank,

        When I look at my supposedly adult children now, I wish I’d not bothered.

        Should have had an XJS, two houses and a few foreign holidays instead.

      • Sorry to hear that, Termujin.

        There’s no doubt that having a kid (or several) is a huge undertaking financially, emotionally and in terms of what it does to your life style and life choices. I just was not prepared to take that on so I made the smart decision to avoid all that aggro and expense. Which goes a long way to explain why I deeply resent being forced to subsidise other people’s decision to have bloody kids.

        Nothing is improved by adding a kid to it. Nothing. In fact it’s made worse. Supermarkets (any store for that matter), planes (any form of public transport actually), restaurants, cinemas, theatres, pubs, the parents’ relationship…the list goes on. They are a curse.

        A jaguar XJS you say? A friend of mine from way back when had one for a few years and I got to ride in it a few times. Very nice car. The same friend also bought a Rolls Royce Silver Shadow so he could do weddings as a bit of a side line. We used to go on pub crawls in it on a Friday evening. We had such a laugh back in the day. He passed away a few years ago. Still miss him. He was a top boy.

      • It’s just a shame that Leyland did such an iffy job of putting them together. Any still running now have been disassembled and rebuilt by someone who actually cares…

  24. Don’t confuse the babyish custom of Treat or Treat with the Celtic tradition. Merlin would be appalled.

    Besides that, the birds dress up in kinky gear and get pissed up. You get to fuck Kara ‘Starbuck’ Thrace from Battlestar, but a younger version with bigger tits.

    Halloween is better than Christmas. Change my mind

  25. My post just did that thing where it fucks off into no man’s land. Like if you type the name of the former England midfielder who sold Maradona’s shirt for £7million.

    Took me ages that post did, the cunt.

    Was probably the greatest post in the history of the internet but you’ll just have to miss out, I’m afraid.

  26. If the missus would let me id build a 20ft wickerman in the front garden and get into the spirit of things properly!!

    Warm mead and burn a tramp alive!

    Merry meet
    Merry part

    And a successful harvest is assured 😁

  27. 5 enthusiastic child hating dogs boinging up at the front gate keeps the horrible little cunts and their pseudo Yankee behaviour away from us at Dog Hovel, mrs civvydog dislikes the wretched urchins as much as me and the pack.

  28. I dressed up as Myra Hindley last Hallowen but nobody knocked..wouldn’t care but I really did look stunning.

    • Just seen your two nominations Dick.

      When is Richi appointing you as the new ‘Cost of Living’ Tsar?

      • Aye..got kind of sidetracked on the sandwich one and seem to have launched into a deranged rant about ugly women and their kids…

        Probably best if Admin combine the 2 noms.

    • Pissing down here too, only had to ignore the doorbell once.
      Fuck the scrounging little turds,

  30. Give them ExLax or Toxic Waste ‘candy’ – they won’t bother you again.
    Some cunting kid in my block of flats put three halloween pumpkins in the entrance hall on Friday morning, the stupid little shit. It’s now 31st and the things are starting to wilt. I’ll bet he or his cunt parents won’t even bother to remove them after tonight.

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