Discovery Plus and Greek TV

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A quick cunting for Discovery Plus, if you please.

Lots of good motoring programmes on it, hence the subscription. However, the cunts are reducing their prices by a quid a month – hurrah! But adding adverts – the cunts!

I’d rather pay the extra fucking quid than suffer the unadulterated, obligatory mixed-rave couple ethnic-fest that are modern commercials.

Right, where did I put my amlodipine?
(For those of you are aren’t medically minded, it’s a medication used to treat high blood pressure and coronary artery disease – NA)

Discovery Plus

Nominated by: DCI Gene Cunt

Dioclese has a similar complaint with intrusive never-ending TV ads, this time with Greek TV

Bit of an off the wall one this, but I was recently on holiday in Greece and settled down one evening to watch the 9pm film in English, supported of course by the obligatory snifter of ouzo.

The film was Cast Away with Tom Hanks. I’d seen it before but there was bugger all else to watch if you don’t speak Greek or can’t stand the awful standard of Greek acting. Or both.

After 40 minutes we went to a commercial break. Time for a piss and a top up of the glass. When I came back it was still on the commercials. They lasted 20 minutes. Yes, 20 FUCKING MINUTES.

40 minutes later we discovered this was not an anomaly as there is a 20 minutes ad break EVERY hour. 40 minutes of program, 20 minutes of ads. Life is too short.

Here’s an idea. Why not have a channel that only shows ads? Oh, hang on! QVC, shopping channels, the cruise channel. It’s already here.

So a 20 minute ad break every every hour? Coming soon to a TV set near you…

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And while we’re at it, here’s another piss boiler. Why can’t you fast forward the ad breaks on catch up / on demand TV? And you can’t record them and fast forward like I do with all the commercial channels at the moment. I never watch ads. That’s what the fast forward button is for on my DVD layer’s remote.

Adverts? Fuck ’em….

 

73 thoughts on “Discovery Plus and Greek TV”

  1. Don’t do tv. Fuck it.
    Motoring programs music golf how to fix something etc u tube
    Films some one else’s Netflix or Amazon ( family members ie kids passwords are piece of piss)

    Porn See mnc for full schedule listing

  2. It’s all Greek to me. I can fast forward ads on catch-up. Or is it about to change?

    • Trouble is, fast forwarding adverts on demand or catch up is not a science or simple operation it’s fuckng nigh impossible. Time spent avoiding them invariably equals time one would have spent raising one’s piss temperature watching the Cunting things in the first place!

  3. Don’t watch adverts as I feel they are not aimed at me.
    Seeing as I’m not Nigerian..

  4. I use Firestick when I want to watch supscription channels for free.

    For live football there are plenty of feeds from various channels around the world.
    I pick the fastest link without really taking much notice of which country it is coming from.

    During the half time break of the last Barcelona game I was not surprised that everyone in every advert was black.
    15 minutes of adverts and not one white face.

    Just like UK TV.

    But I was watching SuperSports.
    A South African TV channel.

    Seems like diversity only works one way.

    • I’ve noticed while streaming South African TV that the faces in the ads are 99.9% black/brown.

      Wouldn’t you have thought, that with a white minority of something like 10%, that nearly all the faces in the ads would naturally be white and that the only black or brown faces to be seen would be half wits, homosexuals or black.women married to white men.

  5. The Greeks need 20 minute ad breaks so they can smoke 20 unfiltered tabs and smash all the plates in the house.

    Everywhere else adverts are Satan’s vomit.

  6. I’m not sure that I wouldn’t prefer the ads all lumped together instead of every 15 minutes..20 minutes is long enough to go for a shit,have a tug,make an abusive phone-call etc.
    I’m currently sick of an advert for Guidedogs featuring some blind child walking down a corridor…every fucking ad break,there she is….the fucking charity must spend 90% of their donations on fucking telly ads. There is also no dog featured in the ad…why the hell would a guide-dog charity ad not have a dog in it ?

    I also hope that the creators of those damned Meerkat ads die at the hands of a Jeffrey Dahmer style social-cleanser

    • PS….Mike Brewer is a fat Cunt…and he knows it….I bet even his parents tell him every time they see him.

      • I have personally called Mike Brewer a cunt. He had a car dealership in Sheffield near me, silly cockney fat useless cunt.

    • Off topic,apologies.

      ” Rob Lewis has been suspended from his UK Border Force job at the Home Office over racist messages about flooding in Pakistan, which has killed 1,700 people, and allegedly repeated use of the word ‘P*ki’. There are also said to be ‘vile and deplorable’ messages and memes about the Government’s policy to deport migrants to Rwanda for processing, slurs about black MPs as well as abuse towards Prince Harry and Meghan Markle.”

      ….I wonder who name he uses on here ?

      • I wonder which of his correspondents exposed his private,encrypted messages to his employer?

      • A former colleague in the Police, the snitching grass cunt. Name and photograph on the al Beeb News Webshit

      • That’s the trouble,isn’t it ?…so many busybodies only too keen to run and tell Nanny about “nasty” people and “bullies”.

        Morning,Unkle
        Morning,All

      • Probably worthy of its own cunting.

        A member of the chat for 6 years who suddenly decides to drop a former colleague deep in the shit with the BBCistan.

        Worthy of Cunt of the Year.

        Apologies for veering off topic.

    • I might cunt that new Dahmer drama series. It’s actually pretty good, but fuck me…it turns into all honky bad and stupid, all non honky clever and lovely about half way through.

      Can’t even watch series about psychotic cannibals in peace anymore.

      • Yep, it turned into a BLM show towards the end and fucked it all up.
        Didn’t he live in a blek area?

      • Aye just cunted it.

        It almost seemed like the writers were ‘guided’ to do this at around the episode 6 mark. Spoiled it a bit, as you say.

      • Yep and rather than his crimes being waycist as this programme infers quite a bit, he even said himself that it was just that he was more into black cock and that is how the majority of his victims ended up being black.

        So the opposite of racist basically.

  7. TV advertising must surely be a gargantuan waste of money nowadays, yet none of these firms can see it. Everybody hates them and ignores them.
    Would you buy car off Cinch because that goofy twat Ryland urges you to?
    Would you choose a bank that thinks the uk population is entirely black?
    Would you buy a pizza from a firm who thinks it’s hilarious to have a cast of dark keys yodelling constantly?
    Who thinks this actually works?
    The watching public don’t.

    • Seems to me the advertisers have lost the plot – probably the latest generation of university “trained” fuck-wit marketeers not having a fucking clue what advertising is about (remember the shake-and-vac stuff?).
      Back in the day you used to see a couple of minutes of commercials – no remote control to flick over for a minute, so you had to grin and bear it. Today, you know the ad break is going to be at least five minutes – sometimes more, so you know you have time to fuck off and have a dump. So the advertisers have just temporarily lost their audience. Don’t they understand this?

  8. I used to prefer adverts in the old days – the nubile young lady showing off her “Little X” brassiere and corset, the girl contemplating fellatio as she walked through a field of wheat, gently pulling back the wrapper of her bar of Flake., before suggestively putting a few inches in her mouth with a look of bliss on her face. The young woman with B.O who took a shower with a bar of Lifebuoy, the lady luxuriating in her bath with a bar of Camay, voiced over by lovely Katie Boyle – even the couple scrunching over hard snow intoning “Cadburys Drinking Chocolate”., or even, at a push, dear old Kathleen Harrison and her “Mothers Pride” (she liked to givei t a little squeeze – and the loaf ) Alas they all disappeared and it’s non stop adverts for cremations, over 50s insurance plans with camp old men and Northern women, and that mutton done up as lamb slapper Carole Vorderman with her “equity plan” which she can shove up her voluminous arse. Things change, but never, I fear, for the better. Why can’t lovely Lisa Nandy get B.O and use Lifebuoy, stepping naked into the shower, her big breasts jiggling, before the steam (amongst ther things) rises?.

    What next – Katie and Abdul stirring the Oxo before they baste a pansy’s head n it.

    • What about the soap advert with the couple on the backseat at the cinema. “Put this in your Palmolive”. “Not on your Lifebuoy”.

  10. Adverts aren’t working.
    They alienate rather than draw you in,
    And people don’t relate when it looks like the ANC conference.

    Fiddler mentions the blind kid one,
    But for me it’s a shampoo conditioner one,
    Some ugly ginger blind bird.
    She’s whining about the sound her dry hair makes ,
    So just leave it to go greasy?
    Or get your head shaved?

    Not being cruel but you can’t see it anyway.
    And dunno if anyone has let you in on the secret,
    But dry hair is the least of your problems.
    Your a bit of a mutt and ginger.

    Like Stephen hawking complaining his trainers aren’t for running marathons.

    • I know what you mean – and that litle grimace she makes, as if Alan Carr had just farted in her face.

      I saw one the other day right up Izzard;’s street a woman sitting on her lavatory pan whining about her incontinence knickers – by the expression on her face, Michael Gove had just done a shit in the pan and was too posh to flush.

  11. adverts on TV? what a load of shite, still the best advert on TV was Valerie Leon as the hai karate girl, used to give me the horn as a teenager, she was in lots of carry on films too

      • William Franklyn doing the voiceover. Real class. You would never have seen him advertisng over 50s funeral plans. Bill Frankllyn? Schh…. you know who. His dad, Leo was part of Bran Rix Whitehall Farce Company.

      • Like Dio I’ve seen castaway and been to Greece.
        Castaway is quite good
        Greece was rubbish.

        If Greek adverts are as bad as their food and shitty architecture (all old buildings crumbling away) then they’re pretty bad.
        Castaway made me laugh,
        He’s stranded on a island with Wilson,
        A ball who’s his best mate,
        Takes him ages to get off the island,
        Goes home…
        His slut missus has forgotten him and shacked up with some bloke!!
        Hehehe 😄

        Fuck you Forrest Gump!

      • @ MNC the 1986 film castaway had Oliver reed in it with the sexy Amanda donohoe in it she spent a large part of the film naked what a good woman !

    • Valerie Leon was fucking lovely. Had a couple of roles in Bond films (The Spy Who Loved Me and Never Say Never Again)

  13. There’s one advert that has me pissing myself laughing at the thought of it. The Esso sign means happy motoring, sang by a negro that can wet the the knickers of any young lady from twenty paces.

  14. Television adverts traditionally worked on sex or humour. I believe they were effective and the fact that those WC reminds us of are so familiar to older cunters I think supports my view. But the adverts we see now I think are beyond ineffective. They are simply irritating and as Mis says, alienating.

  15. Do the Greeks have the equivalent of that super-cunt Schofield? If so 20 minutes of that would turn me homicidal. We-buy-any-cart?

  16. Switch the fucker off. Better still, put a sledgehammer through it.
    Sorted…👍

  17. Adverts now seem to be sponsored by the WHO/WEF/lefty wankers. Nearly every advert has to have one of the following : a family made up of people from 3 different continents, a climate ‘crisis’ / save the planet net zero bollocks angle, or something to ‘keep you safe’.
    Is this due to external pressure, or is it just the lefty wanky views of the ad people who live in the gentrified parts of London?

    • It’s the “utopian” future that we’re all going to be locked into (insert gentle rustle of tinfoil in background).

    • Don’t forget adverts featuring the obligatory stupid white male, being lectured on how to:
      Save money on insurance
      Get a better estate agent
      Reduce bills
      Save the planet
      etc….
      The lecturer always being the smart arse wife, girlfriend, teenage/five-year-old daughter.

      • The backlash against this insidious pish is coming. You can only push people so far. History is replete with backlashes against unnatural paradigms.

  18. TV got Fucked off in Schloss Von Cunthausen many moons ago.

    BBC banned.

    Fire stick in, Netflix and Amazon prime package covers my viewing needs.
    No adverts so that I don’t have to see dark-quay filth pretending to be happy families.
    Subscription for both is less than a licence fee.
    I watch what I want, when I want.
    Happy Days.

    On a final note the BBC can go and fuck itself🖕

  19. QVC, Ideal World et al, have now introduced advert breaks, between advertising stuff!

    WTF???

    (ps I only watch, when they are trying to peddle cheap chinese shit watches for a small fortune, and love all the bullshit they come out with)

  21. We don’t watch live TV (apart from dipping into news channels), we record the few things we can be bothered with and cut any adverts or trailers out prior to viewing.

    • I also don’t watch live telly. It’s just the nuisance of having to forward the blasted things, which spoils the continuity. Despite the bbc being bastards, they are ideal for watching ads free, especially when not having a license on principle like myself.

  22. Ads wash over me. Although that Go Compare cunt needs to walk in front of a combine harvester.

    They can then replace him with somebody with darker skin, like every other cunt on advert land.

  24. I just watch babestation and have a good supply of baby oil, marigold gloves and tissues on the sofa.

  25. The adverts with the African kids make my shit hang sideways.

    The cradle of life where humankind originated from and they still haven’t worked out how to keep flies from crawling all over their kid’s faces.

    Even the shackle rattlers have worked out that corks on strings tied to a hat do the business.

    • I think the main issue here is the ladies never shut their legs, enticing the black mambas in, which results in 10 kids per family – Durex would have a killing if they were allowed to sell their jonnies there…

    • At least the black kids in the Water Aid ads have always been in the ‘chugger’ adverts for as long as i can remember.

      ‘Give a man a fish’ etc.

      Black kids in charity appeals; as good today as they’ve always been.

  26. The chances of me paying my hard earned money to any of these TV charlatan companies is 0.0%

    Especially the ones how are busy trying to rewrite history to suit modern fads….the cunts.

    I would rather scarf out a dogs anus.

  27. The Four adds that GB NEWS endlessly show is driving me fucking mad.
    Crap jewellery with some young Welsh half wit and that one about the goal that stops balls going over the net.
    ( They think it’s gone over… it hasn’t now)
    FUCK OFF 🤦‍♂️🤬

  28. The Sony Movie Channel on freeview is pretty bad for adverts. The films are rendered unwatchable by the frequent and overlong ad breaks.

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