HSBC (are mega cunts! Not only did this dear, dear (w)bank make a shed load of money during the opium wars back in the day,vast sums of dirty money(laundered) moved within their accounts, they also fixed the stock market, got away with it and continue to shaft and behave like gansters with our cash.
Lets not overlook their links to terrorism, oh yes my friends HSBC are gold plated CUNTS. They were bailed out by our governments and have been rubbing our faces in shite and we let them.
Today they phoned me to tell me about a fraud WhatsApp message because they care! Fucking can’t make it up. If I had a fraud concern I’d be waiting 30 minutes for customer service to answer the phone(mobile bankin can fuck off) so I could report it.
Then there’s going to the branches, doofoid staff at the front of the door gormless as ham bones, fat fucks waddling round using their bit of much loved power to bark at you to ‘pay at the machine’ Twats just walking around with headsets on(Where the fuck did that shit come from?)
I have banked with this tinker organisation for 30 years and have never had anything but grief from them. I am at the point now of asking for my wages in cash and fucking all the banks off.
Robbing, cheating,filthy bastards.Fuck HSBC and all banks Cunts all of ’em
Nominated by: QueenCuntBitch
I’m surprised you’ve still got a bank branch QCB, I’d thought they’d all been closed.
Yep, take your wages in cash and keep it under the mattress, it’s the safest place. Invest in the 2.30 at Wincanton.
There you go, your finances sorted.
9
Our HSBC was recently closed despite huge queues for the counter services every time I went in there.
Fillthy robbing bankers should be strung up and I actually changed to Natpest who then, twelve months later, closed their branch too.
6
Me too. They closed every branch in my area years ago.
I banked with them for 30 years personal and business and, when I hit a bad patch, they removed my overdraft and pestered me with phone calls. Utter scumbags. Hong Kong and Shithouse Bank.
8
My experience of UK banks is that the choice resembles one of dog-shit donuts or cat-shit casserole. They are all thieving, lying, corrupt, lazy, incompetent bastards.
And Direct Debits can fuck off as well.
10
Out of the bucket of cunts that are banks the very last one I’d choose is a Chinese one.
Followed very closely by any bank run by Spaniards.
Overall banks are an unpleasant necessity….and back in 2008 when they got themselves in a terrible greedy mess the government should have guaranteed individuals money and given the banks themselves absolutely fuck all.
The bent cunts.
10
https://thesaker.is/world-war-3-for-dummies/
This isn’t HSBC specific but its a good bigger picture angle that fleshes out the current geopolitical situation we are dealing with.
2
Very useful to read. Thanks pt707
1
Long Ago in a green and pleasant land, there was a traditional English Bank with a hearts of oak name, Midland. The listening bank. Then it was hijacked by an evil conglomerate from the east,HSBC, a “global” brand.
Existing customers like myself had no choice in the matter as so often is the case.
3
Shat West are no better….probably worse. In branch (if you have one) their policy was to go from 3 or 4 chasiers windows to one overnight, to deliberately make people wait in long queues, to effectively force them to do everything either online via phones or at one of their in branch cash machines, so ne get huge fucking queues at cash machines, while everyone and thier dog don’t just withdraw cash, but now use it to transfer money between accounts, pay bills and pay in cash and cheques…..in addition to all the other stuff like checking balances and printing statements.
I don’t do online banking, and I still use a blackberry phone. Young floorwalker lad in Natwest a couple of years ago informed me when I complained about the queues, that I should download the app to my phone. When I showed him my blackberry and said ‘will it work on this?’ (knowing it wouldn’t) he said no, you will have to get another phone or you won’t be able to use us any more.
…I don’t use them any more.
CUNTS
21
Trying to talk to some bank cunt on the phone is practically impossible. All you get is some robot telling you to use on line banking or wait for five fucking hours to speak to a human, who turns out to be some cunt called David who is in New Delhi and can’t speak fucking English.
Yeah it’s about getting you to go on line so they can close more branches and put more people out of work. I’m with HSBC and I’m on my third branch in five years…… and it’s all fucking machines anyway. Fuck on line banking, fuck HSBC and fuck David in New Delhi the fucking Gupta cunt.
12
Trying working for the fucking cunts for 20 years. Wouldn’t give me redundancy so resorted to childish games to get me out. They succeeded as I handed my notice in with no job to go too. I should have sued for constructive dismissal. I loathe these pricks with every fibre of my being.
11
I have been with Yorkshire Bank for many years. Even after they merged with Clydsedale you could always get a friendly Jock on the phone to help out. No problems. Quite happy until they became fucking Virgin Money. A bunch of cunts. App this. App that. Changes for the sake of it, to suit them not the customer. And the name makes me think of that detestable, grinning, hippy cunt.
9
now part of virgin – 45 minutes wait to speak to some twat last week. I’m sure I pressed the right option, but she said I had “come through to the wrong department”. Another 45 minute wait……
4
They’re all the same are the banks. I remember when Argentina had yet another economic wobble, HSBC closed their branches and wouldn’t let they people access their own money.
4
Binned them years ago when they wanted to upgrade my account and charge me a tenner a month for the privilege….
Went to the Halifax , no branches nearby but all well so far…🤞
6
Halifax appear to be the best of a bad bunch.
Whilst on this subject and if you are a fairly frequent traveler then get a clarify card from Halifax.
Use abroad and get the full exchange rate ( pay in local currency)
There’s another called Revolut which can be preloaded I think but it’s worthwhile if you do go abroad.
2
If Halifax are the best I’d hate to see the worst.
Cuntist, smug, woke tv adverts, no loyalty to long standing customers. I was refused a remortgage after not missing a payment for 20 years. They had to pay me compensation because they handled my case so badly.
Baled out by the taxpayer in 2008 but just as arrogant as ever. Couldn’t wait to cash in by moving from building society to bank. Bastards.
5
Yes, you’re right. I should merely have pointed out the benefits of that card they have.
All banks are cunts.
4
We have been with Santander since the bought out Alliance & Leicester. The only thing is they will try to push you over to online banking. The wife and i tell them to have a look at our account balances and ask do you want us to move banks? Worked like a fucking charm.
3
I bank with NatWest.
But have a ISA with HSBC.
I must say both banks treat me like a little gentleman.
Courteous, polite, and helpful.
Well done, three cheers for the banking industry!
Hurrah!
2
‘I must say both banks treat me like a little gentleman.’
They’r taking the piss and taking advantage of your silly good nature.
6
Hey MNC do those ISAs actually work? I mean do they actually grow your money decently or do you just get 2% interest which isn’t worth bothering with?
2
Hi Cuntologist,
Not really reaped much rewards from it to be honest.
Think you’d have to sink significant income in to make it worthwhile.
I use it as a back up savings account incase of any unexpected costs,
Garage bills etc.
The investing in gas/oil companies that Odin mentioned appeals to me,
But in all honesty I wouldn’t know how.
Do you have to go through a broker?
0
@mnc I guess a stocks and shares ISA might be a way forward. I could buy shares in Shell for example.
https://www.hl.co.uk/investment-services/compare-accounts
2
Cheers Cuntologist 👍
1
There’s a lovely little dark-haired Tart who works in my HSBC….I knew she fancied me,of course..always licking her lips and adjusting her fanny-lips when I pulled out my vast wad and plonked it in the little drawer thing…I was all ready to make her day and suggest she should get ready for a big deposit when I happened to notice her name-tag..Rebecca…and the horrible truth dawned…..A Jewess!!!….it wasn’t my manly bits the gold-digger was after but my enormous surplus funds….I very nearly vomited when I realised just how close I had come to ruination.
After sprinting out of the bank shouting “Mrs Shylock tried to rob me”, I immediately drove home and rang the HSBC fraud-line…asked them if they were aware that a money-bandit had infiltrated their staff…had to explain to the thick Cunts what I meant by “money-bandit”!!!…” A hooky-nose…a red sea pedestrian…a front-wheel skid…a jesus-killer..a covetous Goldfarb-Finklestein”….honestly, you’d think that a fraud-line would know what a Jew was without me having to beat about the bush for fear of using an insensitive term.
I wonder if they’ll give me a reward for exposing the viper in their nest.
13
Ho ho, comedy gold, Mr F!
Red sea pedestrian, indeed!
I was just having a sneaky ISAC read whilst meeting with an engineering client and I laughed out loud (from his point of view with no context!).
Then he was looking at me suspiciously.
You bastard!
8
I would have used my ‘large wad’ as a lure, and arranged to do her up the shitter in return for my deposit.
18
I believe they have no plans to reduce the number of tellers in Mexico.
5
Used to have an account with the Midland then HSBC took it over.
Fucking useless customer service usually an effnick when you get through, then telehone/online passwords and numbers couldn’t be arsed with it.
But I do have several accounts with their sister company First Direct which I find great. No effnicks unless you count Scots, Geordies or Mancs on the telephone side of things.
But all banks are utter money grabbing cunts.
4
I never seem to have any issues with my Coutts account
12
Thank the Lord I stopped using these gimps years ago.Money grabbing arseholes.And they want us to adjust to a cashless society in 5 years time?Piss off.
4
I used to bank with Yorkshire Bank.
When my partner died, I had to freeze their bank account.
All OK, got the energy bills transferred to my name, all the shite that goes with a death.
Got probate granted, went to close the account and transfer the money to mine, still with the same bank.
They made me sit on a chair outside an office for 40 minutes, like I was a naughty schoolkid waiting for the headmaster, this was just 4 months after the death, and I was still raw.
Didn’t apologise for keeping me waiting, didn’t offer a glass of water, or condolences, the twats.
Moved banks the next day.
4
Hello cunts, been a while. I used to bank with HSBC. They charged me £140 every time I went over my overdraft. They refer to it as “admin fees”. As the final insult, they called me to address the overdraft issue and asked me if they could help in any way. I said “yes, stop charging me £140 and I can get out of this vicious circle”. They laughed (not joking). I hung up. I’m with nationwide now. I don’t call them and they don’t call me. Fucking perfect.
3
Nationwide have been OK for me but fucking piss boiling adverts
2
Good cunting. Can i take this opportunity to recommend bank switching to my fellow cunters. It sounds like a pain up thd arse and hassel but honestly its not. Im starting my fifth switch (to Santander) since starting in april which will net me a total of £700 for just a few hours on the phone. Money saving expert site has all the info of the current offers (about 4 at the moment). Set up a dummy account with some shit bank like Monzo or Starling so youre not messing with your main current account, stick 2 shitty direct debits on it then youre off. It feels fucking good to get something from the banking cunts for a change, let me tell you. £700 for a few hours work. Just saying.
1