Fat Controlling Cunts at Watercress Line Railway

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We can’t call the “Fat Controller,” fat anymore, apparently. Visitors to the Thomas the Tank Engine attraction, at the Watercress Line, Railway In Hampshire, were told not to use the name, The Fat Controller, as it is a ‘slur’ and he must now be called Sir. Topham Hatt instead. (But don’t knighthoods have tenuous links to British Empire and colonialism? tut! tut! – Day Admin)

This story originated today, following other shit, back in 2008, when two male engines were replaced by two females, after a major, gender balance revamp. Reading all this utter bollocks, I just hope Windy Miller’s job at Trumpton, is still secure. As long as he keeps off the cyder ! Lol!

Nominated by: Lord Scunthorpe

Daily Mail News Link

With helpful link provided by:Field Marshal Cuntgomery

82 thoughts on “Fat Controlling Cunts at Watercress Line Railway”

  1. Speedy Gonzales had it worse. He just got banned altogether.

    I wonder if he ever got his carpet sorted?

  2. Quite right too…personally I hope that all such nicknames are outlawed….I’m fondly known as ” That Old Cunt” by most people who know me and frankly I find it rather hurtful.

    • Our apologies, Mr F…you know, we don’t always refer to you as ‘That Old Cunt’ on days when you don’t post anything.
      Sometimes you’re referred to as ‘That Curmudgeonly Old Wanker’ too ..💋

      • You wicked man.You’re a nasty,vile bully and I hate you.

        I have,of course,reported you to Admin for picking on me and Northumbria Police for calling me nasty words…expect the door of your Gay boudoir to be kicked in shortly.

        (I’m not going anywhere near Thomas’ gay backdoor thank you very much! – Day Admin)

      • Oo-er…I’d rather not get a visit off pigs. I have lots of illegal things in my gay boudoir.
        Happily, I’ve pre-empted your accusation by changing my username.
        Yes, I’ve converted to I§lam. My bender moustache is now a scraggly beard, I’ve developed an interest in 12 year olds and anything…𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨…you say to me is hate speech

      • Well I think we would all do well to heed the words of the philosopher, Cher……”Words are like weapons, they wound sometimes” and try to be kinder to each other.

        #Sticks and stones may break my bones
        but words will cause me to have an hysterical meltdown

        Remember, Cunters….It’s nice to be nice.

        PS…Admin…I have reported you to Head Admin…that’ll fucking larn ya.

  3. Flob a dob dob a flob, flob dob a flob DOB a flob said bill to Ben, Ben says to bill, if you loved me that much you would swallow it, morning cunters

  4. I wouldn’t call him fat.

    I’d call him a spastic.
    And if he objected?
    Id say

    “Listen you fat spastic,
    I’ll tell people you misgendered me and tried to take my undercrackers off.
    Now gimme that top hat.”

    I had great man management skills even as a youth.

  5. In the header pic the two twats with brooms are called Rusty an Dusty?

    Those are yank names.*

    Thomas the tank engine was a Scouser!
    It was a English train yard.

    “Awe hey Dere Thomas la,
    Yer lookin boss like !”

    If a yank was brushing up they’d probably be black?

    *
    General Custards real name is Rusty.

  7. Wonder why they picked Ringo Starr to narrate it anyway?

    Scouse isn’t the best accent for storytelling.
    Conjuring up images of petty theft and unemployment.

    I’d of picked Johnny Morris or Willy Rushton,
    Frank Muir or Alistair Sims.

    A nice clear voice .

    I have a beautiful voice.
    Just so your aware.

    • I work with a northern bloke, MNC. Very northern, comes from the Lake District.
      Luckily he has a linguistic app on his phone that he speaks into and it turns his garbled, unintelligible nonsense from Northern English ➡️ Proper English.
      Still, at least he’s not Welsh.

      • Morning Thomas 👍

        You’d understand me,
        I should of been a BBC news broadcaster,
        Crystal clear clarity,
        Precision pronunciation,
        Rich deep timbre,
        Sort of like Richard Burton?

        People often ask me to speak at their weddings or say a few words at a funeral,
        But I don’t.
        They can fuck right off.

      • No,no, MNC…..you’re confusing “People often ask me to speak at their weddings…..” with Sex Crimes Officers at the Police Station.

      • Morning Dick,
        I’ll say this for the local police sex crimes division,
        They always have good biscuits!

        None of your basic, generic shite!
        Proper mcVities chocolate digestives.
        And officer Dave always remembers to fold my balaclava so it doesn’t lose its shape!
        Cashmere that is,
        From Fortnum & Mason 😉

      • Admin. This ex Cunt Engine cunt is promoting Welshist hate speech. Ban the fucker (Peace be upon him)

  8. Quite right to.
    Fat people have enough problems, like fitting through doors and splitting their trousers every time they bend down, without people calling them wicked names.

    Now save some food for us you greedy bloaters.

  9. That Trumpton is more dangerous than Ukraine, about half a dozen houses and a fire everyday.

    • In the modern Trumpton, Windy Miller has transitioned to Wendy Miller, there’s a lovely new mosque and there’s blue-haired, fat feminist protesters screeching ‘Orange Man bad’ outside the “Trumpton Towers” hotel.

  10. Talking of fat cunts, it strikes me that with the current squeeze on the cost of living etc, that a few of the wimminz that like to get interviewed on Al Beeb about how they’re struggling with bills, could save a few quid by not eating so much shit.
    Some brummie skank with a ‘special needs’ kid (aren’t they fucking all nowadays!?) was blethering on about how they couldn’t afford to live on her social security handouts – then the camera pans out & the fat cunt looked about 18 stone!!
    The fucking lard arses need to take a look in their shopping trollies if they want to save some money.

  11. I came across this when my daughter who has a two year old lad, ( he has a t/t engine set) corrected me when I said, where’s the fat controller ?

    He’s called topham hat now, wtf it’s a good job the little lad was in the room.

    Obviously I kept saying FAT CONTROLLER.

  12. We’ve become a nation of weeds and pussies where nosy fucking busybodies can interrupt a private conversation and tell us what words to use. Why didn’t the bloke tell him to go and fuck himself? See how offensive that is cunt.

  13. I’m sick to the back fucking teeth with fat cunts. Blubbery fucking masses waddling along like a beached-bastard-whale, fat feet spilling out over ill-fitting sandals, stuffing their over-worked pie-holes with shite. And it’s being normalised with fat fucking heifers used to advertise over-sized clobber and fucking lard-arses on the telly. Yes, you, Alison Hammond. (Amongst others I find repugnant). Cars made bigger to fit the cunts inside, firms that sell tent-sized clothes etc. We used to laugh at the fuckers, it usually gave them the motivation to do something about it, now the cunts are shown sympathy! Fuck the disgusting boils on the arse of society and their sedentary lifestyle. There is an obesity and diabetes crisis just waiting to happen in this country.

    Case in point, went to a job a while back, forget the job, but it was a GP admission (fucking HATE those – get a taxi or a relative to take you, you cunt), for some shite, probably something to do with her feet as I’d wager she’d not seen the fuckers for a while. Fat young trout in a chair, surrounded by crumbs and wrappers. Proceeds to tell me she can’t walk so’ll need the carry-chair or stretcher.

    “Oh, you can’t walk, eh? Well, how did you get that lot out of the fridge, then? Up you get”.

    And her arse never graced my stretcher, either.

    Good fucking morning.

    • I too hate the fat. Not even sympathy anymore, it’s gone past that, with ‘body positivity’ fat cunts are celebrated. Blobs like Lizzo are held up as heroes to the lard brigade, and the sight of it spilling out of a fucking leotard held up as inspirational to other greedy fat cunts.
      Diabetes, BO, and mobility scooters are a blight on humanity since it became acceptable to be disabled by your own greed.
      Fat cunts.

  14. I always though the Fat Controller was a right cunt anyway..probably bummed the trains in the shed and changed the timetables so the females trains kept crashing into each other..in a vain attempt to simulate lesbian fisting.

    A deeply wicked fellow who has now been brought to book thank heavens.

    • They did try and include a mu§lim tank engine on the Island of Sodor, UT. It didn’t go well.
      His beard kept getting caught in the bogie wheels, his boiler kept exploding, he referred to his fellow steamies as ‘Enginfidels’ and he didn’t get on with the other new addition ‘Abraham the Tank Engine’.
      Although they did bond over the ‘No Sausage Sunday’ rule.

    • Down at the old Tesco, you still see plenty of Fat Controllers of Supermarket trollies.

  15. Rebranding what a pile of 💩
    What next
    “Big Butch Cassidy “ and the
    “Rainbow kiddie “
    Pile of cunts

  17. I think I’ve worked out how to take these types of cunts on because there definitely is a special type of cunt that wants to ban everything including speech

    Just play the cunts at their own game.

    You can’t call him fat….. fuck you there are no laws against the use of that word so he’s going to get called fat a million times now where as it would only be once had you not butted your ugly head in.

    Take to Twitter and troll these shit cunts who report people for re tweeting a Swaztika in the gay pride colours and report them for causing anxiety with the anti west or Churchill was a racist rants because a pound to a penny says you won’t have to dig to deep to find them.

    Fuck them and fuck them hard with their own rules.

    Then given the chance kick the fuck out of them too.

    Grrrrrrrr

  18. I am beginning to think I have been transported to an alternate universe 😂

    Make him Gay, maybe of Asian decent with a touch of Chink….

    The Fat slitty eyed fucking P*ki Poof Controller, wont to be so worried about the fat slur then will they 😂

  19. I was caught by the throat by a cunt in my local for calling the fat cunt a fucking Big Mac, must be 25 years ago. he’s dead about 10 years at this stage.

  20. I must be getting old I remember a few years ago Fat Positivity was all the rage

    Now you Can’t even call a fucking train fat without offending people now FFS Can we at least call it chubby? Oh dear probably not tho right?

  21. When Ringo had enough of doing his Michael Angelis impersonation, Michael Angelis took over to do his Ringo Starr impersonation. Continuity assured.
    Nowadays a vacancy of such magnitude would guarantee a dark key as a replacement. Alex Scott would probably get the gig, or one of those nonentities from the big breakfast.
    Thomas: “Whadup bredrin?”
    Henry: “We’s got da beef wid dat Sir Topham honky innit bruv. He being all racist and sheet”
    Thomas: “No problem brudda. I’ll get on to our diversity representatives at ASLEF”

  22. We didn’t have Thomas the tank engine when I was a lad.
    Only in book form anyway.
    I’d draw a squirting penis on his face.

    No TV show or toys ,
    And I’m glad.
    It’s fuckin rubbish.

    I had toy soldiers,
    Airfix.
    Japs, (never knew them as anything else till about 10 yes old, oh! Jap-anese!)
    I’d line them up and proceed to sentence them for war crimes.

    They’d be found guilty (natch) and executed.

    I had a lovely childhood ❤️

    • My old man used to reload his own shotgun cartridges, so I had access to gunpowder. That made the destruction of German and Jap soldiers much more realistic on my improvised battle scenes on the garden.
      I too had a lovely childhood, until the bastard hid the tin of powder somewhere I couldn’t find it.

    • Morning Mis.
      I remember calling around a mates house as a kid and he had a pile of action men. This particular day he’d had a mass execution of them, and they were all naked with their hands tied behind their backs, and were hanging from the washing line on little nooses he had made.
      Haven’t seen him for over forty years, and I haven’t seen his name in the news, so perhaps he grew out of it.
      Or, is really good at hiding it!🤫

  23. I bet Humpty Dumpty will sue for compensation after all the hurty names and nursery rhymes about him over the last 80 odd years!

    He will also sue the cunts that built the dodgy Great Wall that he sat on (probably some passing Travellers)

    In fact Humpty will probably come out as Hippity Dippity and become non-binary

  24. Having a young son, my TV viewing revolves around Thomas the Tank Engine.
    Talk about gone woke! The fucking whole show has BAME locos nowadays.
    They have an African loco called Nia complete with Tribal branding, they have chink engine(s), parking stanley ones and wimminz aswell now!
    The African loco has replaced Henry & Edward from their shed (talk about reality) and all the other ‘white’ engines are made out to be either waycist or abit gåy.

    Unfortunately our kids are being brainwashed with this shit. Telling me there is no agenda?

  25. Been posting on here a few months now, and I have to say there is far less genuine aggression (to each other) on here than a regular BBC HYS……… particularly the F1 section. They’re all a bunch of childish cunts.

    I would therefore suggest the bbc embraces the ISAC ideal, whereby you can call a cunt a cunt and is somehow diffuses the situation.

    • Apart from the threat of being hauled off behind some bike sheds in Worcestershire its pretty civil Chuffers.

      • ..it’s probably to do with the fact we all pretty much agree on the same cuntish observations

      • Yeah some cunts are universal like Blair or piss taking immos but Covid and to a lesser extent the war in Ukraine was more nuanced with loads of heated opinions.

  26. I wonder if Topham has seen Jonathan Ross’s comely offspring, they wouldn’t need contraception unless he has a 2ft wanger as with their overstuffed guts theres no way she’s even getting the tip.

  28. Watch with mother had the woodentops with spotty dog…….would need to be called something else now for complexion shaming

  30. I’m surprised Disney hasn’t sued for the slang use of the word Micky Mouse to mean ‘knock off’ ‘inferior quality’ ‘not up to the job’ in the UK

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