Chris Pincher MP

Given the current political fallout and the cabinet resignations yesterday, we’ve brought this nom forward. How long has Jellyfish got? Another Maybot style meltdown? Snap election? – NA.

Persistent allegations – oh how we love that phrase – continue to bounce around the resignation of former Conservative Deputy Whip one Chris Pincher or should that be Chris Pinchyah? Also apparently known in certain circles as Arse Pincher.

The allegations include groping two geezers at that bastion of Conservatism, the Carlton Club in London whilst pissed. Said geezers objected to his advances and were not willing to participate in a consensual act. Hence his resignation and subsequent media headlines.

Telegraph News Link

BBC News Link

Mr Pincher has previous having been cleared by Conservative Central Office of making “a drunken pass” several years ago at Olympic rower Alex Storey but resigned anyway.

Sun News Link

Have to say I think it is a damn bad show having been pissed in the Carlton a few times without getting pissed on by the tabloids. Naturally old Captain Chaos (Johnson) considers the matter closed – best leave matters to take their course etc etc – but the worst aspect of the case has been the resurrection in the media of old Yvette Cooper whose shrunken head is looking evermore like a student of voodoo’s shrunken practice piece. Well it frightens me.

pbs news link

Nominated by: Sir Limply Stoke

128 thoughts on “Chris Pincher MP

  1. Things seem to be hotting up nicely. Saw on Sly News earlier that 31 MPs had quit. Now it’s 35. Chief whip has told Jellyfish to do one and apparently there’s a delegation inside Downing Street now including Home Sec of the Century, Priti. Or is that a delegation inside Priti Patel? Not sure.

    Oh wait. We’re now up to 36 resignations. This is excellent. Jelly won’t survive.

    I’d like to see that hoity toity Reese Mogg get the top job. That would be entertaining. Better yet, get some old senile dribbling dementia patient from St. Thomas’. Then I wouldn’t feel so bad about the old senile dribbling dementia patient in the White House.

    • Afternoon IY.

      I wonder if Boris and Carrie will exit Downing Street in a ‘Fall of Saigon’ style escape by helicopter from the roof of No 10?

      • LL@ Afternoin LL- the suitcases of cash and stolen goods would weigh the helicopter down.

      • Afternoon LL. Nice to see you, to see you – nice.

        Jelly’s final exit from No. 10 will be joyous. Hopefully Princess Nut Sack or whatever she’s called will fall down a well on her way out too. I’d pay to watch that.

        I remember the ignominious scenes when Thatch was stabbed in the back. Jelly’s final press conference will be a fun filled rollercoaster of bluff, stuttering and deviation from the main point – that being he’s a buffoon and a cunt.

        The whole ‘Partygate’ thing should have brought him down. Subjecting the population to what was effectively martial law, while having booze ups in No. 10? Seriously? Never before have we witnessed in such graphic and blatant terms the divide between the plebs (us) and the elites (them). And then to claim he didn’t know a party was going on. FFS, how much more insulting can you be towards the intelligence of the electorate?

        He’s had more than a fair crack of the whip. He’s come up very short on fulfilling promises and doing right by the UK. It’s time for him to FO. The man’s a disgrace and a national embarrassment.

        I’m expecting the announcement any moment.

      • Good game! Good game!

        Its just a matter of what clown will replace him during the tedious leadership contest and then an election in the near future. Depressing, but something had to change, we all knew he was a chancer and a rogue but fuck me….

      • Maybe put a cuddly toy in charge?

        Could it do worse? I mean, could it? Could it really?

      • Whoever it is won’t want to call a general election until they believe they can equal or exceed the current majority. A new leader will have at least two year to bed in before there has to be an election, more than enough time to win back the electorate, especially with Labour remaining almost as unelectable as it was under Corbyn.

    • I’d be willing to have a crack at being Supreme Dictator. I’d bring back the death penalty for treason and sentence child abusers to whole life terms.

  2. A couple of choice quotes from Johnson today:

    “We will continue to deliver on our mandate”
    “The truth is very important to me”

    He really does think we were all born yesterday.

    • It’s not the Honey Monster’s majority, it’s the Conservative’s.

      Evening OC.

      • Not bad, thanks OP. For the first time in 3 years I feel a glimmer of optimism.

        How about you? Did you decide to take the new job?

      • Yeah I did, and it’s going OK so far. First few days were a little rocky but today was a lot better. Then again, the shouty Romanian cunt who’s ‘training’ me had his day off today so that’s probably why.

    • She’s another non-starter.

      File under Jeremy Hunt, rugmuncher division.

      That useless Boris sycophant Brandon Lewis has just resigned, hopefully to be never heard of again.

      • STOP PRESS: arselicker Lewis has not resigned. No surprise there then.

    • I’d like to see the Wombles run Britain. At least Britain would be clean.

      I no longer give a fuck who is PM, it means fuck all. You can only live your own life and take care of your own business. These cunts in High Office can all get fucked. I care more who my window cleaner is than who is driving this spazzy-bus these days.

  3. Boris Johnson running Britain has been like Ian Huntley running a primary school.

    Boris should be put in an enclosure in London Zoo and kids should throw rocks and dogshit at him for the rest of days.

    And we had better have seen the last of Carrie, fucking Yoko One crossed with Mr Ed, beat it, Shergar.

  4. Boris should sack as many as possible of the swamp he has created before he has to go as a big fuck ’em all. I see Gove been’s given the push. Why not Priti Useless, Schnapps and others?

    If only Boris had Executive Order powers. He should write the EOs we all want – navy in the Channel to fend off alien invaders, up to 25k income tax free, VAT back down to 10%, fuel duty low, tax on beer and tabs low, etc etc etc, innit!

  5. The smart money has it that The Monster Raving Loony Party is now worth an outside punt to win the next election with its leader one Howlin’ Laud Hope aged 81 (had to look that one up) odds on for PM.

  6. Also just realised Admin bottled it as usual and did not use my supplied photo of Mr Pincher demonstrating his arse pinch.

    • At last.He was SHITE.Princess Nut Nuts ran number 10 not the jellyfish.One of worst PM’s ever.Glad he’s out.Arrogant twat.

  7. Looks like all that oligarch money finally got the intended result.. The orcs are loving this. It would be interesting to try and correlate dubious donations with those ministers agitating for Johnson’s removal. His departure is probably worth a division to Putin, as Macron and Scholz will now be able to equivocate unhindered.

    Ok, Johnson’s a cunt, and always has been. But the last year or two has been very much a witch hunt, in which trivial offences (in the grand scale of things) have been inflated beyond recognition by, eg, the Guardian and the BBC.

    Sorry to see so many agree with that.

    (Good to see you back with us. You’ve been missed – Day Admin)

    • TYVM, DA. Needed a break, though.

      (We did think you’d been kidnapped and became Angela Raynor’s Toyboy! – Day Admin)

    • I agree, this is definitely not the time for this nonsense, no matter how much of a cunt he is.
      Political chancers from across the spectrum will be dominating all forms of media selling their solutions to everyone’s problems, which are all lies and bullshit.
      I can’t stand the cunt, and will glad to see the back of him, but he’ll only be replaced by another cunt, even if they Have a general election.

  8. Pincher was just behaving like every promiscuous homosexual does. It is a big part of gay culture to proposition men in bars and public toilets, especially when drunk. If it had been Philip Schofield they would knight him for touching a few boys. Intolerance of other people’s lifestyle choices disgusts me, especially arse-banditry and pretending to be a woman so you can rub your cock on kids at tranny story time.

  9. I suspect Pincher has been given a big bung. “Get pissed up, grope a couple of chaps and make it obvious, here’s your 1/2 million squids – we’ll see you’re alright,” said Tony.

  10. Worth remembering that Churchill’s comment “Makes you proud to be British” over two guardsmen caught inflagrante outside a public toilet was a recognition of the freezing temperature at the time.

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