2 Day Heatwave Blamed for Expensive Chips!

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Your chips just got more expensive!
Quick, those of you with freezer space, rush out immediately to buy frozen chips!
You don’t have to worry about the scarcity of hash browns, for example, because they are apparently not affected by a poor potato harvest, presumably because they are made of onions and recycled egg cartons!

BBC News Link

Anyway, I thought that those amongst us, who have a bunker full of Fray Bentos pies, should be warned that there might be NO CHIPS!!
The horror, the humanity!

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest

106 thoughts on “2 Day Heatwave Blamed for Expensive Chips!”

  1. In March it was “supply chain issues” they were using as an excuse to jack up prices. Now, two days of hot weather have completely destroyed the entire potato crop of the world, apparently. Really? Is ANYONE buying this bullshit?
    Food shortages, and the constant fear of them, is one of the ways dictators use to intimidate people into silence – and why does a Country which could be entirely self sustaining in production of fruit and vegetables import 52% of our potatoes from France in the first place?
    Yep, massive shortages of vegetable oil and potatoes by all accounts – as I drive and cycle past fields FILLED with oilseed and potatoes half a Mile from my front door and stretching across the entirety of the enormous North Yorkshire farmlands.
    How fucking stupid do they think we are?

    • Mnc@ – Afternoon Mnc, this horror cannot be contemplated – I have had words with the elders of potatoes and ensured a plentiful supply is kept to one side in case an emergency airlift to Stockport is needed!
      But don’t mention it to the Irish – they are always touchy about the subject of potatoes for some reason 🤷‍♂️

      • Theres not much that makes me weep Foxy but this would!

        Id probably go into shock.

        I dont eat pasta, chinky food, curry, or any foreign shite so my diets limited anyway,
        Its too horrific to contemplate.

        Having some Gold Goblin its rather nice,

        Good health to you all🍺🍻

  3. I don’t believe young Rashford-Kardasian’s extra large family sized bag of Frpzen chips, become more expensive because of the heatwave.

    Oh no.
    The potato is now more costly per gramme than gold, due to the following factors:

    Covid

    Brexit-since we left the EU, not one single immigrant has entered the UK, not a single one!

    Covid

    Overt racism-white capitalists are putting chips beyond the reach of BAME’s.

    Covid

    War in Ukraine

    Covid

    Rising sea levels-the entire county of Lincolnshire is now under 7 feet of water.

    Covid

    White privilege-blame Anne Frank

    Utter cuntitude…

    • We fucking love that COVID absolute not a control test of the world, don’t we

      • Wouldn’t know, never met the cunt. I thought rats were a fucking myth until I finally saw one when I was well into my 20’s. I haven’t been ill with cold or flu-like symptoms since January 2018 so two years into this pandemic I’ve yet to acquaint myself with this Covid fella.

  4. I wouldn’t be seen dead eating something as common as “chips”…I always order pomme frites when dining out.

      • What’s with the Frey Bentos horse scrotum pies?

        A man of your fine taste and distinction eating that muck?

        Even I don’t eat that shite. And I’m common as muck.

        Chips are the greatest invention of all-time. Chippy chips are right up there with putting man on the moon.

      • Two Fray Bentos pies,tinned cannonball peas and pomme frites….food of the Gods…and a nice change from my everyday diet of grouse,,kedgeree and devilled kidneys..all served on my collection of vast silver platters…with domes

      • Fray Bentos are now just officially filled with gravy. Barely a fleck of meat in them.

        I still love the steak and kidney, with a couple of slices of crusty bread and butter.

        I used to adore Goblin meat puddings.

        The cheap shitty food never disappoints.

      • Someone told me asparagus would help me go to the bog.
        And it did. Trouble is, it came out of the wrong fucking end.☹

      • I have all day fb breakfast pie in the cupboard fuck knows what it will be like. I did eat a steak one after my gran died it was in the back of a cupboard and was 15 years out of date, tasted lovely and didn’t kill me or even give me a mild tummy upset.

    • DF-F@ – Evening DF – that was asparagus on the plate, not Frenchmans fingers attempting to steal your wallet! (Easy mistake to make)..
      In your defence, I would have emptied both barrels into the plate as well – can’t be too careful with the Frenchies – one of them poisoned Mnc’s ale and gave him “beeritis” recently!
      Shifty no good Frenchies..

      • I’ve genuinely never had asparagus…if I can’t fuck like a rabbit,I’m certainly not going to eat like one.

        Evening,Vern.

      • Ive had asparagus Dick.
        Fresh on a plate and as a soup.
        Its like all veg,
        Ok, bit bland.
        But meant to be good for you.

        I ate it as a favour to the missus.
        Im a dutiful man.
        And I got rewarded😁

      • Ps
        I do eat nettles though.
        Theyre free!
        And full of iron.
        My peepee goes a funny colour!

      • Magic food (well drink) is coconut water, the proper 100% no added sugar stuff, but it’s not cheap.

        Doesn’t work for everyone, but it brought my blood pressure down. They even say you shouldn’t drink it if you’re on blood pressure medication or have low blood pressure. Because it can lower it. Defo does for me . Gives you energy an ‘all. Those athletes at the World Athletics are all supping it. Good for your heart, anti cancer and immune system they reckon. Copied me these athletes.

        Acquired taste though. I don’t really like it but I see it as natural ‘medicine’.

        I drink about 3 litres a week of the stuff, so I could probably beat Usain Bolt’s records if I could be arsed.

        Still, I’m annoyed at these sports stars copying me. Should sue the cunts, I’ve known about this shite for a few years.

      • Asparagus is a powerful aphrodisiac Mis.

        I can well picture our Lord Fiddler, suitably lubricated on Guiness, pants around ankles, shuffling over to the more attractive female tourists, plate of Aparagus dipped in a French butter sauce in one hand, his “no doubt vast” generative member in the other.

        Whispering such soft soliloquy’s as:
        “..areet Bonny lass, ave a nipple o’ this, then get yer gums aroun’ me plums!”
        Class. Breeding.🇬🇧

      • Asparagus tastes alright.

        But the smell it makes your pee go later as it hits the pan makes you want to kill yourself right there in the toilet.

        For this reason alone it must be avoided, despite any potential nutritional benefit.

  5. Not only do they feed us these bullshit climate change stories they use them to steal the money from our pockets. Every single one of those Tory candidates has bought into this green shit and we know about Starmzy and his cunt mob. They are all in it together. And when we finally reach net zero, as thin as Somalians and our arses hanging out of our trousers, we’ll have reduced the danger to the planet by precisely 1% while the rest of the world fucking laughs at us. Fuck off you green cunts.

    • Environmentalist types are indeed cunts…….. clueless, overzealous blowhard cunts.

      The people in the Australian bush have, for fuck-knows how long, been lighting fires in the bush during cooler seasons to create fire breaks for the inevitable summer bush fires… but that upset the climate Karens who insisted that it was cruel to the wallabies so they lobbied the other clueless cunts in government to prevent land owners in the bushlands from doing it….. so followed the worst fires seen in Australia probably since ever.

      Similar detail with regards to greentards lobbying local authorities and preventing them from dredging river beds because it affects wildlife. Well as somebody who lives in a town on a river which floods with great regularity, I say fuck them.

      Fuck the greentard cunts.

      • When the Severn floods it FLOODS. Climate change zealots would no doubt blame the more severe flooding of the Severn in the last 3 years on muh carbon emissions but it’s those daft cunts who caused it.

        It’s like going up to some random geezer, pointing up at the sun, saying “HOLY FUCK! WHAT’S THAT?”, then kicking him in the bollocks and saying “Did you see that? The sun just gave you testicular cancer!”

        Cunts.

  6. Personally don’t care for potatoes..like rice just tasteless filler..

    • Youve probably had them ‘sweet potatoes’?
      Not the same thing.

      The spud was our greatest gift from sir Francis Drake.

      That and 10 park drive.

      I’ ll forgive you for your hate speech Barry ,
      But it hurt my feelings a bit.😃

      • A hate crime indeed. I hear they still put you in stocks in Stockport for that kind of fighting talk.

      • Evening MNC.

        Didn’t Sir Walter Raleigh bring back the Park Drives?

        If so, which cunt brought back the Woodbines?

        My funeral is going to be sponsored by WD & HO Wills.

      • Evening Dick VD👍

        He might of done?
        All my historical knowledge is gleaned from Blackadder, so your probably right.

        I want my funeral to be sponsored by Hollands pies and Robinsons Old Tom.
        Id be truly honoured by that.

      • Old Tom. My barley wine of choice.

        Never drink Unicorn in a Robbos house. Always Old Tom.

        Old Stockport is passable if your planning a long drive afterwards.

        That grinning Cheshire Cat does bad things to you if you don’t respect him.

        Sneaking home from Fernilee via the Goyt valley road is not a good idea after an Old Tom session.

        I find Holland’s pies dry. Definitely need a pint of gravy with one.

  7. Yawn.Tired of the same old bollocks.Next whitey will be blamed.Bore off.

  8. Well at Cunty Towers my potato’s are doing well. It looks like a good crop. So the potato flogging cunts can go fuck themselves. Plus they have been watered, fuck what South West Water say, save it for the tourists? Do fuck off.

  9. It’s just a bandwagon for profiteering.

    Every week some cunt will turn up on TV to tell us the price of summat or other has to go up due to..

    Hot weather.
    Cold weather.
    Dry weather.
    Wet weather.
    A war.
    Some sea.
    The French.
    Polish people.
    Foreign diseases.
    Bleach.
    Donald Trump.

    Just fuck off greedy cunts.

  10. The Guardian tried to say dark keys are targeted more in heatwaves.

    Yes, that’s right.

    The Sun is racist. The fucking nazi bastard!

    And the Moon is homophobic, Jupiter is probably really called Stephen Yaxley Lennon, while Neptune votes BNP (probably).

    I’d put the ‘journalists’ writing this crap in the nuthouse.

  11. Amazingly the supply of bullshit from media and government has not been impacted by Covid, the war in Ukraine or the great climate change disaster we have just endured.

    • We need to start worrying when Guardian and BBC fuckwit “journalists” start writing articles about the lack of soy lattes at the staff canteen….. though we’ll all be emaciated by that point so it won’t matter much.

  12. Potato only get fucked with blight when too much rain is about.
    So what in fucks name are they talking about.
    Im sorry i didn’t plant a few this year as they’d have been gorgeous balls of flour.
    I mean Cyprus export tons of spuds and it don’t rain much there.
    Fucking MSN must be mong on everything every fucking day.

  13. Surely, if there was a shortage in the potato harvest they would eventually run out of spuds?

    But no. They will miraculously continue to find these ‘scarce’ potatoes to sell and just rip you off in the process.

    Like everything else, another con and rip off.

    Fuck off.

  14. Oh and i know off topic but since Covid is mentioned, just want to add this
    Dr John Campbell has noticed a trend that Japans low trend of covid has been attributed to seaweed as part of their diet.
    the high concentration of iodine in seaweed eventually with enough seeps into the mucus and respiratory and blood system, Killing all viruses, and he repeated this statement and then had a small rant at big Pharma.
    he states this in his Rampant BA 5 video on U tube which it is by the way only a day or so old , but we are beginning to build some natural immunity to it.
    he is way ahead of the game after watching quite a number of his presentations and the data and numbers to back it up.

    • Mecuntry @
      Evening mate👍

      I heard it was common practice in Ireland when a man proposes marriage to offer up a potato instead of a engagement ring.
      Is this true?

      • Evening MNC, when a man proposes marriage, he must first ask the permission of the brides father even if he is a cunt
        Then on receiving the blessings he then has to dig up the garden for the cunt and plant a fresh crop of potatoes
        Natural law and order for the spud lovers

      • @McCuntry…..ya can stick yer poteen up yer hoop…damn near fucking killed me….and,tbh, the way I felt the next day,rather wished that it had.

      • Aah now Dick, there’s poteen and there’s pure poteen.
        Next time you get a bottle, pour a wee drop on a teaspoon and set it alight
        If it burns blue flame , your good to go, but if there is a hint of orange red in the flame you will go blind if you drink it.
        just putting you wise, anyway you probably got that shit in Dublin

      • Nah…it was a horse-dealer way down South..the wicked old Cunt.

      • He might have had two batches, i suspect after baiting him down in price.
        A horse dealer. that is very polite of you Sir Dick to describe the travelling gougers.

  15. Having just spent 2 days in Whitby I can safely say that if there’s a chip shortage those fuckers there will starve.

      • @Moggy lol

        I bet Airplane is one of your favourite films.

        Well, unless you’re a real moggy, in which case the the Whiskas Supermeat advert probably tops your chart.

      • Love Airplane! Plus the Naked Gun series and the films. Dracula – dead and loving it. Kentucky Fried Movie also tickles me immensely, A Fistful of Yen was a scream.

      • Thankfully no, Moggie. My recipe for growing Chavs is pretty easy to follow.

        1 Angela Rayner/Whitney from Eastenders-type
        1 cup of your own baby batter, left in a CT scanning room for a weekend and retrieved before the cleaners arrive.
        1 turkey baster
        24 bottles of Glenn’s Vodka for the gestation period

  17. The price of chips can never be too high for me. Take the tax off fuel and put it all on chips is what I say. Failing that, ban the critters altogether. Doesn’t the government know we’re in the midst of an obesity epidemic? Global warming isn’t helping either, everyone sat on their fat arses when they should be out there playing rugby. Or rounders if you happen to be an American. French fries? Nah! Fried bread is much nicer anyway, and proper British.

  18. Don’t you thickos know that fish and chips were brought to these islands by immos? Gary Winston Lineker told us remember? I don’t know why him and Professor Rio bother to try and educate you cunts.

  19. And we wonder why we’re so reliant on imports from Ukraine. I’d rather buy potatoes form some Ivan who’s name comprises entirely of z’s w’s and y’s,than some conning English farmer, who moans about money whilst swanning abound in a Range Rover.

    • Beware of grain from Russia. It’s impregnated with the Woke virus.

    • I wish Russia would hurry up and win this war.

      It’s going to last for years at this rate.

      How much is it going to cost us?

  20. This week we finished the last of the new potatoes.
    Jazzy, Pentland Javelin are good yielding, unfussy varieties😉

    Every day for six weeks, either salads or new potatoes from the garden, often a combination of the two, with greenhouse crops, courgettes and herbs.

    Low cost, high yield and satisfying.
    I just need to learn the dark art of distilling my own single malt whiskey, then life will be perfect 👍

  21. Holy shit! If the potato crops fail, followed shortly thereafter by the mushy pea crops, the pudding crops and the gravy crops, there won’t be any people left in Yorkshire.

    On the bright side though, if there are no potatoes left in the UK, the Scots and the scousers will have shoulders entirely free of chips so it’s not all bad I suppose.

    • TITS@ – WHAT? Mushy pea crop failing as well as the potato crop? This is terrible – the MoonMen and the Authoridees will be after the rhubarb triangle next! (I am not paranoid – it’s the invisible people who hide in my bin and write things down about me who are the paranoid ones! 🤪)
      Potatoes and peas of the very highest quality are available a few minutes walk from where I live.. 😀
      If the gravy crop fails we will invade the Southern softies and have it away with theirs!

      • The southern, shandy-drinking fairies don’t have any gravy; they only use curry sauce down there part of the country.

      • haven’t looked at em in years Mis, but i enjoyed the link
        and all the old ways that once were so familiar

    • The location of the Yorkshire Pudding harvest is totally secret, Fort Knox secure and well under way!
      Of course, they can always be made in the traditional way, like our old Mums used to, back in the 60’s, 70’s etc, and still do today.
      It’s just pancake batter, in a very hot oven, with very hot fat pinging away, for 20 minutes.
      Mind, I put herbs in mine, or sultanas, or lightly sautéed onion. Seasoned puds! Mmmm! A meal on their own, with gravy!

    • A shortage of chips and gravy but no shortage of fagg0ts on these sceptic isles (and in the aisles)

  22. So that’s chips n’prosecco at Wukfittery’s for breakfast

    Epicurean Yorkshire pud’s n real ale at Jezum’s for lunch

    Fray Bentos pies, mash n’ mushy peas for supper at Lord Fiddlers

    An IsAC “3 peaks challenge”.

    I’m in😀👍

  23. The heatwave blamed for potato shortages
    well i suppose they had to find something too blame
    it couldn’t be LGXYZ tranzformers or chicken Flyods killer or any one with the holier than thou green agenda mong brigade.

    “There’s always there’s always, the sun
    Always, always the sun
    How many times has the weather men, told you stories that made you laugh
    You know its not unlike politcians and the leaders
    When they do things by half”

  24. I’d have prefered “Expensive chips” blamed for 2 day heatwave. That statement is more believable.

  25. Apparently during the 2 day killer heatwave last week, London was very close its first blackout according to Bloomberg.

    Demand for electricity on the 19th and 20th July almost reached bottleneck proportions based on what the National Grid is capable of locally and having to spend huge amounts of money to Belgium to have electricity imported in to prevent the blackout.

    This is yet another perfect example of the lack of joined up thinking with current and previous governments and its determination to rid the country of supplying its own gas and electric while using massive storage units to hold stock when needed.

    We now have a situation where we have to import energy and as was witnessed last week we are willing to pay well over the odds to prevent massive blackouts. And bear in mind this is summer. Fuck knows what might happen if we have a long cold winter.

    I don’t know if this blackout issue was reported in the MSM but it needs to be if it wasn’t. People need to be aware we are so very close to facing a blackout at any time and a lot of people and businesses will be fucked.

    Perhaps a 12 hour blackout might focus the minds of the People and insist the government do something before the shit hits the fan when the price cap goes up by around 65% in October and a mooted 30% in January if Putin closes gas supplies into Europe.

    https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2022-07-25/london-s-record-9-724-54-per-megawatt-hour-to-avoid-a-blackout#xj4y7vzkg

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