Cyclists (15)

Cyclists are cunts, this is what happens when you give these fuckers to much leeway, like with the fruits, you tolerate it, eventually accept it, then they have a law change and the cunts take that as an opportunity to take a monumental backward step and start acting like total cunts all the time.

So now its not good enough that cyclists can ride all over the road without a care in the world about the danger they are putting themselves in, now they are trying to ram their choices down our [ as motorists] throats, they are now moaning about things like bin lorries parked in cycle lanes, imagine if the bins didn’t get collected because of these whinging fucks.

They say less cars should be on the road to create more space for these cunts to cycle on.

I for one are now more determined than ever to keep my aging 5 litre v8 Merc going for as long as is humanly possible, the more these cunts make cunts of themselves the more driving im going to do………fuck em

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Nominated by: Fuglyucker

52 thoughts on “Cyclists (15)

  1. Cunts! I note the lady aged 71 died this week following a scooter cyclist hitting her on the pavement. There are cyclists and there are cyclists. ALL should have insurance, ALL should be licensed All should pass a test and ALL fucking cyclists kept off the pavements.

  2. This latest thing when they don’t ride in single file is going to end in tears….the combination up here of narrow roads,tight corners,timber-wagons/fucking caravanners and entitled pushbikers is a recipe for disaster…still, I’m sure the consolation of being “in the right” will be a comfort to the morons as they are (hopefully) squashed into the tarmac.

    Arrogant,stupid wankers who seem to think that wearing a gimp-suit and bell-end helmet means that they can inconvenience every other road user…it really is a bore for me having to rub mud over my number-plates before I go out on the road but it’s a sacrifice that I’m prepared to make if it means that I can safely force the Cunts into the ditch and scream “CUNT!!!!!” at the Pisspots. without being caught out by helmet-cam

    • DF-F@ morning Sir Fiddler – just decorate the number plate with a pair of cyclists lungs!
      Twin machine guns in the front..
      I have cycled on the road for nearly 50 years and managed not to piss anyone off or hold them up – it ain’t rocket science!
      There is talk of a small cash prize for bagging Vine..

      • Morning,Vern.
        I am prepared to admit that they’re not all Cunts..indeed,I had quite a friendly chat with a couple of mountain bikers who I met on forestry track the other day after No.1 Hound had shot out of the undergrowth in front of them…they were very nice about it.

      • Morning Fiddler, do you ever get any off-road mountain bikers on the fells? The big problem around here is trial bikes, the farmers do what they can with massive concrete blocks and mounds of earth to block off field and track entrances but its a losing battle.

        You always know they have been through by the amount of takeaway wrappers and energy drinks the fuckers leave behind.

      • No,LL… there are plenty of dedicated mountain-bike routes and they tend to stick to them.
        It also seems to be too remote and rough for those Cunts on scramblers to bother,thank fuck…plus,there are a couple of Army Ranges nearby that discourage that sort of thing.

    • I still giggle nervously remembering the pushbiker who held me up as I took 6-8 tree-planters to a site up in the wilds….it was a single track road and I couldn’t get past Cunt on his pushbike…he wouldn’t pull over into the side and let us through…eventually as we neared a wider spot,I said to Mick who was in the passenger seat..”Give that Cunt a tap on the top of his helmet with that newspaper as we go by”….Mick did just that…unfortunately he’d rolled the newspaper so tight that it was like a fucking truncheon and he took an almighty swing that got the Cunt on the back of his helmet….he shot over the handlebars into the roadside drain and his pushbike disappeared under the back wheels of the tranny…one of the lads shouted that we’d have to stop but I told him that fucking stopping was the last thing we’d be doing.
      Spent the day listening to the local radio for reports of an accident…none,thank fuck….but avoided going that way again for a while.

      • Fucking excellent, if only it was OK to do that now, stuck a brolly through the front wheel of one who was blasting up behind me on the pavement shouting (out of the way cunt), cheeky fucker even asked me through his smashed out front teeth to phone for an ambulance, needless to say the cheeky cunt had to hobble to A&E half carrying his bike, and I had to buy a new brolly, totally worth it….

  3. The recent warm and sunny weather has brought the lycra gimps out in droves where I live, clogging the roads with their righteous arseholery.

    Silly old cunts in their 60s hoping to get fit so they can add a couple of extra days to their (tedious) life expectancy.

    Cunts!

      • The reason MNC loves them is because he can go round seat-sniffing when the old dears have gone to the local cafe for High Tea

      • Their Gods creatures at the end of the day.
        Road wasps.

        I like to see if I can upset them, get them swearing!

        I’ll block them from getting past in traffic,
        Cut in front and brake sharply,
        Weave dangerously close,
        They ❤️ that!!

        I speak their language.

    • They won’t be adding “a couple of extra days” if they get in my fucking way…quite the opposite.

      Morning,Paul
      Morning,All

    • Jokes on them.

      At that age if they’re overweight, have a lifetime of a shitty diet behind them and they’ve not been physically active or not been regular cyclists before, they’re putting extra strain on their hearts, risking the old cardiac arrest, and/or, quite probably opening themselves up to an increased risk of cerebrovascular strokes (there’s a bloody good reason those wily Chinese buggers switch from ‘energetic’ martial arts to tai chi as they get old).

      So, not so much adding days to their span, but potentially removing years from it…the cynical cunt in me suspects that’s the idea behind promoting things like cycling as a way of keeping fit for the 60+ brigade.

      I don’t get so many of the cycling lycra gimps here (e-bike morons aplenty, yes, but yr lycra gimpoid frowns upon such unholy e-frippery), but I do get their pedestrian equivalents – the ‘marathon men’. I say men, sadly, as they’re mostly male with very few fit (in every or any sense of the word) females in their rank ranks.

      Paradoxically, just like the lycra gimps, considering the supposed purposes and benefits of their activities, they’re generally not the most healthy of looking buggers and there’s noticably less of them around these days than there were even a couple of months back, and that was a fraction of the numbers we had with last year’s bumper crop of wankulous wheezing wandering willies.

  4. A pox on these selfish cunts. They pay no road tax and yet have been anointed the Kings of the Road by the Government. I’d line them all up against a wall and shoot the fuckers.

  5. I think that the idea of letting cyclists ride on whatever part of the road that they want was a plan to relieve the councils of their obligation to fix potholes.

    A cyclist cannot claim that they damaged themselves or their bike if they have been given permission to avoid potholes by riding around them.

    Cycling is mostly a hobby, a pastime for fitness.
    Cyclists rarely use their bikes to get from A to B, especially true for the cunts that dress up in lycra.

    By all means have dedicated cycle parks where people can securely keep their bikes in locked units, or bring their bikes on a car’s bike rack to use whenever they want.

    But allowing uninsured, incompetent and inconsiderable cunts to have fun on their flimsy machines in busy traffic is a recipe for disaster.

  6. Cyclists are like the gays. First they wanted tolerance, then acceptance, then equal rights, then the right to be more equal. Whatever they get, it’s never enough. What these types don’t bargain for, is the fact that they eventually destroy any tolerance they might otherwise have gained if they’d only wound their fucking necks in.
    Being legally in the right will be small comfort for their relatives as they see the crematorium curtains close on the cunts coffins and some poor bastard gets 3 years for ‘dangerous’ driving.
    The law, in this case, is an ass.

      • I’d prefer to hang them from a tree and let the crows strip them as a warning to others.

      • Mnc@ Mile long queue as two hearses drive side by side at 8mph, #sadface milfs checking out tit jobs with the life insurance..

  7. Any male who chooses to wiggle their sweaty aris in front off another males eye level is a screaming poofter.
    Hang a broom out of the passenger window and push them in the ditch.

  8. We’ve had 2 or 3 instances of road closures up here in the Lakes, totally due to amateur cycle racing.

    In other words main arterial roads such as the A595 will be closed or partially closed for several hours to cater for these cunts. Most of whom will be completely oblivious to the disruption they cause to the majority- and not just ordinary drivers but supermarket home delivery vans, arctics, parcel couriers, coaches and so on

    Instead the motorists will be diverted out into the sticks, which will had a few more miles (and petrol!!) to the journey, while those cyclists huff and puff and act like the entitled cunts they are!

    That said, it is now almost the tourist season. And with any luck I’ll get to see some leggy Swede bints riding their bikes in their tight-fitting shorts through Windermere once again!

  9. Middle class, remained, eco loon fascist cunts.

    Lord Fiddler-perhaps give IsAC’ers a chance to sponsor your Northumbrian road carnage-in return for your dash-cam footage, from your no doubt, vast Hilux👍

    One can imagine your real time commentary:

    “Have that, ye fucker!”

    Whilst your hounds titter, Mutley-like, on the back seat👍

    • The Hound who comes everywhere with me leans out of the passenger window and bays at the pushbiker as we go by..it’s fucking hilarious if I slow alongside the pushbiker…. the stream of abuse that Hound No1 unleashes in their direction is unmissable..and the volume he gets into it !….Aye,he leaves them in no doubt as to his opinion of pushbikers

  10. The silly lyric wearing cunts are allowed to ride the fucking pavements here as Singapore hasn’t yet grasped the concept of the cycle lane. Fucking Food Panda are everywhere and all you hear is the ‘ting ting’ of the compulsory bell before the crash into you!

  11. I cycle to get from A to B as I don’t drive but I hate these lycra clad cunts. There are large cycle lanes in my area which take up a 1/3rd of the road width but do these cunts use them? No!
    Yapping away two abreast on the road causing even more obstruction and they all seem to be podgy middle aged cunts squeezed into gimp suits.
    Cunts all of them.

  12. My mates bloke cycles all the time, rides c20 miles to work and back almost every day. He has a helmet camera and regularly sends off footage of what he thinks is dangerous driving to the police. Recently he went to court as a witness to a toss pot that drove through two sets of red lights in a works van. The guy was convicted because of the footage submitted. He is a cunt and will send footage to peoples employers too so they get a bollocking or worse at work. There’s something sinister about that type of behaviour if you ask me. He’s one of these pricks who has a sense of his own self importance and an air of superiority. He’s ex Army and wears his uniform and medals whenever he can. Bell end.

    • BCDCO@ Nut the cunt!
      Many of lifes issues can be solved with a good nutting!
      I wonder if this Walt cycles to the boathouse in Hereford?

      • He’d be difficult to nut, he’s fucking massive. 17 stone and 6’5” or so.

    • Fucking excellent, if only it was OK to do that now, stuck a brolly through the front wheel of one who was blasting up behind me on the pavement shouting (out of the way cunt), cheeky fucker even asked me through his smashed out front teeth to phone for an ambulance, needless to say the cheeky cunt had to hobble to A&E half carrying his bike, and I had to buy a new brolly, totally worth it…. Just post his name and address to the local classic car club, taxi or courier company annomylessly and sit back and relax, he will get sorted soon enough…

  13. I have to admit to being a keen mountain bycyclister back in my 20’s.

    Unfortunately I had to retire as the mere sight of me in my cycling shorts would make wimmin drive their cars into shop windows and the like.

    Of course there were no Gays to worry about then.

    • Or just happen to get tangled up in a combine harverter, on a twisty, country road.

  14. I notice there is little to no mention of the increased hospital ot morgue admissions since this new ruling, I cannot believe these figures haven’t sky rocketed, but of course that doesn’t suit the government eco drive does it.
    But with these retarded cunts getting so close to cars now that they could measure the tread depth they must be getting maimed and killed, I personally give not a single flying fuck about the cyclists who seem to have taken to the roads with the (I am going to be the biggest possible cunt I can be) so for these fucks, if they die they die, that’s like saying I have the right to jump off this multistory car park because I have the right to mess up the pavement.
    Obviously not all cyclists do this, some have retained their common sense and choose life, these are the cyclists who never have a problem, because they are less likely to be able to read the part number of my gearbox as they are crumpled under my car.
    Not all of them are cunts, but a huge proportion are, diffence now its their right to put themselves in harms way, at least it gives natural selection a chance to rid us of these fuckwits nomatter if they were in the right of not….

  15. Just the thought of riding a bike kills me with this massive hemorrhoid ballooning up on my asshole a couple days ago.

  16. If a grown up in a suit told me it was legal to drag myself down the road by my balls I wouldn’t do it – because it’s dangerous and fucking stupid!
    And when a few of these arrogant, sneering, entitled thieves (that is what they are – they use the road, wear the surface but pay bollocks all for its upkeep and unlike vehicle users there is no test or licence so any fuckwit can wobble out there) are wiped between a lorry and the wall they will soon learn.
    Always funny watching a gaggle of them fly by in town DEAFENING EVERYONE (seriously – why the fuck do they have to shout at deafening volume to the gimps 4 feet away?) on around fifty grands worth of bike to sail by the sweaty, unfit fuckers ten miles later in the middle of nowhere laughing my arse off – these are the same twats who get out their 3K carbon fibre/titanium money pits every Sunday, get into the Starmer sex party outfits and then ride en masse at 6MPH the 8 minute journey to a local cafe so they can sit outside making like they have just completed the Tour De France. Keep up a decent speed and ride considerately or get off the damned road, posing fat fools.
    The real riders rarely get seen as they generally operate in the middle of nowhere – and believe me, they ain’t holding anyone up the speed those fkers go!

  17. The vast majority are cunts. The ones that peeve me are the ones that insist on cycling on the road when there is a well maintained cycle path next to it. They can only be doing it to piss off drivers.

    • There’s a ‘cycle lane’ just near me which is a marked off strip, about a foot wide, at the edge of the pavement. It’s fucking ridiculous. A momentary lapse of concentration and you’re into the gutter, probably on your head, and likely in front of a lorry. What fucking idiot dreamt this up? Not a cunt who’s ever ridden a bike, that’s for sure

  18. Then clacking into a caff with their stupid shoes and those fucking lycra spats over the top. Seriously, you think it makes you faster?
    Looks like a cunt,acts like a cunt, isacunt.
    Death Race 2001 beckons.

  19. I saw a complete cunt today, in the middle of a busy A road at a set of lights-deliberately slowing traffic.

    -man bun✔️
    -neck beard✔️
    -bright Lycra✔️
    -CUNT✔️✔️✔️

    • Similar to somebody I saw myself in Morrisons, CG.

      Mumford and Sons T-Shirt

      Coloured framed specs

      Manicured beard

      Expensive backpack with Game of Thrones badges on it

      Buying almond milk. the Grauniad, pumpkin and spinach burgers, and vegan cheese

      Thermonuclear cunt!

  20. The tosspots hate my Mog Hitler’s Revenge, noisy and smokes like Winston Churchill and at the right speed empties a large pothole of all its water in their direction, twats of the first water, arsewipes to a man.

  21. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, it’s easy to relieve your lycra clad cockwomble induced stress by simply winding down your window and shouting “wanker” as you pass. I recommend only doing this when passing on the opposite side of the road thus avoiding being caught on camera. As an aside, how are the cunts allowed ultra bright strobing lights on their bicycles – can’t imagine getting away with that on my motorcycle?

  22. I like cycling. I use my bike a lot in good weather to get from A to B. It’s cheap transport, quicker than walking and with a pannier fitted I can also carry shopping or my work stuff.

    I use cycle paths when possible and am always courteous to other users, I have a bell and even allow for single cell, brain dead dog walkers who can’t keep their animals under a modicum of control.

    Now as for these Lycra clad cunts cycling three abreast around the country lanes ‘wit the law on their side’… best of luck when an Eastern European, on his phone, in a left hand drive long wheel base Mercedes’ van comes at you out of the blue.

    Human flesh clad in Lycra versus tons of moving aluminium, steel and rubber….. no contest.

  23. I cycle about 2000 miles a year and agree that too many road cyclists are selfish cunts. As a rule mountain bikers are a much nicer breed – for a start they stay off the fucking roads.

    Like Audi drivers , they may not all be cunts, but too many are.

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