I remember when zebra crossings were zebra crossings. Safe places where traffic would come to a halt if you were hovering on adjacent kerb, and you could cross over unscathed, with a little nod or wave to the drivers if you were polite.
Now, zebra crossings have become ‘Colourful Crossings’. No longer a simple tool for urban navigation, but an opportunistic platform for activism by means of showing support for the apparently oppressed and under-represented by painting in some brain-fiddling colours. Mainly the alphabet people today (but who knows where it will go tomorrow: corporate-sponsored feel-good colours matching the cause of the moment? road murals of dodgy cultural ‘heroes’ ?! Etc).
All very well, but in practice, problems arise: motorists don’t recognise them now as zebra crossings, Met police service horses are jinxed by them, and they cause some disturbance to pedestrians especially to those prone to autism and/or epilepsy, for example. Not to mention that they are fucking ugly and incongruous, like graffiti with the added annoyance of zealous virtue signalling so it can’t be rubbed off.
If traditional zebra crossings trigger ‘offence’ in a woke person, said person will go on to publish a whiny tweet on Twitter in order to attract attention/upticks. Whereas ‘colourful crossings’ that trigger an epileptic person will result in them having a public and messy seizure, the calling out of an ambulance and their occupying a valuable and scarce bed in A&E for some hours.
The perpetually offended are but a tiny (yet loud) % of the population. The majority of sane ordinary people must therefore endure the erosion of common sense road markings and the removal of supposedly offensive decent historical landmarks, statues and street names.
It’s only a matter of time before what’s left of our kaleidoscopic and hugely creditable history ends up on the 4th plinth at Trafalgar Square as a tourist side-show.
Stand tall against these cunts before it is too late.
*I feel inclined to add the caveat, that should the future thought police come prosecuting, when I wrote this in March 2022, free speech was still allowed / a thing.
Cunts.
Also, I know an epileptic who, like horses, find bright unnatural colours a tad of a pain in the jacksy for fear of bringing on ‘an episode’.
Nominated by: Fuckwittery
Seconded by: CuntyMcCuntface
I’d like to second this Nomination
Utter utter fuckwittery.
In the U.K. there exists (fortunately) a raft of laws governing the regulation of road signs.
And for good reason as they state the law and make it enforceable, ie a 30 mph sign in a red circle denotes exceeding it is breaking the law.
Pedestrian Crossings are the one place on British roads where the pedestrian has legal priority over the motorist.
As soon as you enter the controlled area, denoted by alternating zig zags you have to give way.
In order for this to be enforceable there has to be clear definition as to what constitutes a Zebra Crossing.
Currently if a motorist runs over a pedestrian in a controlled area they are automatically guilty and face a more serious charge than say Careless Driving.
However if the controlled area doesn’t conform to the law (on markings) then they wouldn’t be automatically guilty and definitely wouldn’t be guilty of committing an offence in a controlled area.
This is all covered by:
The Zebra, Pelican and Puffin Pedestrian Crossings Regulations and General Directions 1997
https://www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/1997/2400/made/data.xht
The key section being:
PART IIROAD MARKINGS
Road markings
6. Subject to the following provisions of this Part of this Schedule—
(a)within the limits of a Zebra crossing the carriageway shall be marked with a series of alternate black and white stripes.
I sincerely hope that nobody is injured or worse on one of these Virtue Signalling Crossings but if they are I’d want to see the the Cunt Committee that commissioned it flogged.
These colourful crossings should remind us about Gay Pride and all the wonderful achievements of the LGBT community, which benefit us all.
14
You managed to say that without laughing. Well done, Allan.
14
He could well be sitting in a puddle of piss.
11
Alan Turing won the second world war single handed coz he was a bumder.
7
These cunts think by wearing “rainbow “ colours it somehow makes them look more interesting! It does not , they look what they are desperate for attention , they even managed to get a couple of fucking raspberries in on the act …
Move along there’s really nothing to see hear
CUNTS
2
See here ….. 🤣
0
The creature in the middle of the header picture must give children (and many adults) nightmares.
8
You mean the multicoloured lezzer with the OAP NHS walking stick? Says it all.
5
The first time I saw this kind of nonsense was in Santiago de Compostela in Spain last year. I could not believe it. Here I was in the oldest pilgrimage center in Europe where millions have trekked hundreds of miles over the centuries to visit the tomb of St James and what did I find? Wokedom in the spiritual heart of the country that spread Christianity across the globe!
What would Generalissimo Franco have to say? Actually he probably would not be surprised as his remains were removed in 2019 from his splendid tomb at the Valley of the Fallen, I expect – to be renamed the Valley of the Tranny – where they lay for over 40 years outside Madrid.
8
oh for a franco for modern times. he’d sort the cunts out.
7
Do pee dohs have a colour? Or are they part of the rainbow shite? If they have a colour then lolly pop ladies or gents could have them on their hi-vis. Show solidarity.
8
I’m not using one of these crossings………,in case I get the gayness!
13
I’d rather be flattened by an articulated lorry than walk over that shite.
7
Skip not walk.
Sassay when the light is green.
8
I like walking all over the rainbow flag. I’d shit on it if I was pissed enough. Iran puts the Stars and Stripes on crossings for everyone to walk over. It’s their biggest insult.
9
How long before your local lollipop man (person?) becomes a degenerate in a string vest, arseless chaps and six inch stripper heels, leading children across the road like some pea doh Pied Piper.
15
A special crossing for bum bandits, rug munchers and general degenerate cunts.
They must be fucking hundreds of these in Brighton 😂
Anyone seen a rainbow coloured Zebra?
9
I heard on the radio today that 80% of schools report that they have at least one tranny kid. How the fuck can that be? Any guesses?
11
Some obnoxious little cunt, in trouble for upskirting the girls is caught.
Following the example of MP Jamie ( fucking hell, a grown man calling himself Jamie), he claims to be trans to get out of trouble.
See, children CAN learn from politicians!
10
Surprise, surprise. That fucking beaky nosed, stinky little shit Suckdick Khunt is behind this money-wasting wankery.
This sonofabusdriver Cunt seems to think it is in his gift to spunk taxpayer’s cash up the wall and then introduce swingeing new taxes (ULEZ) to pay for this cuntery and all manner of other shit that he dreams up.
I’d like to know how the law stood if some poor unfortunate cunt was run over after stepping out on one of these assuming it complied fully with Regulations, when it clearly doesn’t.
I wish the little cunt would spontaneously combust.
16
Perhaps it’s to draw The Gays and The Transbummers out so the Most Peaceful definitely won’t throw them off the nearest tall building.
The fucking cunts.
7
This is what we have in Leicester:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leicestershire-58653989
4
Oh yes!
That was the other thing. Expensively trained guide dogs won’t use them to lead their owners across the road, as they don’t recognise them as safe crossings.
Thought that one through, didn’t you, you fuck monkeys?
16
They also changed a road on Blackpool front, a few years ago, to mixed use and nobody knew wtf to do, who had right of way, guide dogs had no clue it was a road since there were no kerbs, just different colour bricks, which were fucking invisible at night or if the road was wet and some dopey cunt was paid for designing this tragedy in waiting.
9
Another fail by the hard of thinking.
5
I thought we’d managed to avoid it. Bollocks!
0
Or chuck himself into Unkle Terry’s oven for cooking
3
You mean it wasn’t funded by a philanthropic trans billionaire?
You do surprise me, Paul.
10
They will be popular in Brighton and Bristol where local Gays will probably pose like The Beatles as they mince across but in the name of inclusivity they should also be in Bradford, Leicester and Tower Hamlets, preferably outside a mosque. Diversity innit.
11
A bandit version of Abbey Road!
Cum together
Maxwells silver hummer
Golden showers
Polythene Pam
Something (in a dress)
Octopuses lady garden
13
Along with:
Here Comes the Bum
You Never Give Me Your Leftovers (from surgery)
Carry that Handbag
It Came in Through the Window
10
You’ve got to hide your cock away.
10
*although that’s not from Abbey Road.
4
He came in through the bathroom window…😂😂
5
Gay Tripper
Act Unnaturally
and my favourite
All things must pass
4
“….and in the end, the cunts you take-are equal to the cunts, you ma-a-ake….”
👎
5
These street “Crossings ” have no basis in Law. The Law describes in detail what a crossing is, how it is painted and so on. This applies to all road signage.
Any cunt crossing on one of these LGBT multi coloured whatever they are, can earn an additional rubber stripe of the Dunlop variety.
As it happens I will be in Brighton next week, and I will look forward to popping a few “posies”
7
Clearly the black and white stripes, used for many years with good effect are nowadays deemed to be hideously racist.
At the end of the day it’s fucking paint on the road. Step out at your own peril. It makes no odds what colour it is.
Most of the cunts behind the wheel of that speeding vehicle heading towards you speak little if any English, have never passed a test and would not even know the meaning of the Highway Code.
They may stop for you to cross, but only if paying attention I and not busy updating their fuckbook status or checking the sat nag for their latest ‘just eat shit’ delivery address or amazon delivery.
Good luck cunters.
9
All common sense is out of the window
9
Surely the vision of the people in the header picture should be enough to make woke morons think again.
They like to think of themselves as intelligentsia, telling the rest of us how to think and behave, so why support a minority of misfits who belong in the stocks?
6
As I said in a previous nom, go and stand outside Stonewall’s offices in London and see the freaks that work there.
8
Why did the homosexual cross the road?
His penis was stuck in a chicken.
10
And…
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To avoid the chicken fucking bumder.
6
As I have said previously, on the nom about Highway Code changes, I will continue to follow the Green Cross Code.
Thank you Dave, remembered always.
8
I was brought up on that but my method nowadays consists of rapidly looking in all directions and legging it across the road, carefully avoiding some oncoming cunt with face glued to phone. If a car/bus/van/lorry/combine harvester was approaching I wouldn’t warn said cunt. S/he would discover soon enough that Fuckbook ain’t worth dying for, albeit too late. No loss.
5
Saying as woke street art and scenery is all the rage these days, I decided to write to my local council with a woke suggestion of my own, which involved replacing all of the traditional speed bumps in town (and there’s plenty of the fuckers) with tarmac effigies of Saint George Floyd lying prostrate instead.
Ungrateful cunts haven’t got back to me yet.
14
Make sure to drive over the neck 👍
4
They’re clearly a test. If you decide to cross using one of these fagpaths, once you’ve successfully traversed the delighful colours, Keith Vaz and Owen Jones will spring out of an adjacent shrubbery and spit roast you with no lubricant.
12
I’d rather drive over potholes at 100 miles an hour given the choice.
5
I feel sorry for the unemployed zebras
9
Nice one, LLF, that made I laugh.
2
I am getting so fucking feed up with all this shit.
Why should we have to kow-tow to a minority who like to advertise their sexual proclivities and deviency.
If you like bum sex or tuppence licking – fine, carry on but shut the fuck up about it, it’s so fucking BORING!
16
You’re behind the times, Cuntalugs…no-one cares about homos and lezzers any more, they’re passé…it’s 2022, come and celebrate those beautiful and feminine transbumder chaps.
5
Yes Thomas.
Mentally I am still in 1979😁
Glad I’ve got more years behind me than in front.
Bumfoolery will probably be compulsary soon enough.
Evening all.
7
…on the theme of cuntishness on our highways:
6.30 this morning, doing 59mph in 60 limit (“A” road), I was passed by a Dark-Key bitch in a BMW, the cunt was doing 80 plus, I glanced at the fucker ( I could see it hurtling up the outside of me, in my mirror- large cup of coffee in one hand and a mobile phone in the other-barely touching the wheel, I imagine👎
Probably late for her first day as new Head of the Met Police👎👎👎
12
Evening CG, quite by coincidence, I happened to going that way and caught the disgraceful incident on my dashcam. I’ve uploaded a still from the footage if you should need it:
https://images.app.goo.gl/kKcsZpKTbHqt4veu6
10
😂😂😂😂😂
5
Now that’s fucking frightening, I’d be on the 9s, if I’d seen that.
Even speeded up a bit to get the reg.
2
Not that I’d be driving, because I don’t.
2
I once passed a marked police car on the M69, going home at around 3:15am, doing 150mph. They never followed me or had me stopped. I can only think that I went past them so fast they never got a chance to clock my registration (this was before ANPR) or they simply didn’t care since, apart from them, I was the only car on the road. They maybe thought they’d see a burning wreck in a field a few miles on.
4
Just for the record I never even noticed the police car until I whistled past it. Once I did, there was no chance I was giving the cunts a chance to catch me, in what looked like a Mini Metro, so I kept my foot down until I was approaching Leicester.
6
I used that road fairly regularly in the eighties Moggie, occasionally travelling the whole length at three figure speeds. Once travelling north came upon a police car doing about fifty in lane one and as I approached he pulled on to the hard shoulder. He had passed the exit at junction one by a few yards and I escaped by going down the ramp to the A5 where there are six exits available. Another time as I was joining the M69 at the M1 junction I went round the roundabout at a rate where I was using a little opposite lock and the tyres were protesting loudly. A police car was on the hard standing on the left immediately before I entered the M69. I kept down to seventy for a couple of miles but he didn’t come after me. Happy days.
1
Wouldn’t use one, if I did it would seem I was supporting pride and I don’t.
Fuck off
7
That’s the spirit!
3
Turd tapping appears to be detrimental to your hips judging by two of those mutants.
Flammenwaffen.
4
What is this nonsense?
Kids/cunts – mind that speeding car – a bottle of JD and some crack gets a fkin move on!
Probably kids, outside a school.
I fucking hate kids.
Foot down!
2
You wouldn’t want to stoop down to pick up a penny on one of these crossings, Vern.
3
What about a bent penny?
3
Not that it matters,like a certain Welsh RSM, I can’t stand blatant poofery.
2