Mobile Speakerphone Usage

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Cunts who use speaker on their phone calls.

Picture the scene: an immaculate, serene, blue-skied, spring day in England. One might be tempted to sit outdoors, absorb the sunlight, bathe in the melody of bird-song and admire the cherry blossom on the trees.

A neighbour 3 doors down exits into his garden and calls someone. His cunting bellowing down his phone shatters the pastoral scene into smithereens as we are treated to his gobshite conversation and all the banalities therein.

For some reason, he decides that he is not broadcasting enough braindead bollocks to those in the vicinity and decides to use speakerphone so the fucktard whining mingster on the other end can pollute the tranquil atmosphere even further.

These cunts are indicative of a broader, rancid wank stain blight on human existence, something which might be avoided if an ounce of non-curtness was drilled into or born in their flabby idiot brains.

cf. cunts on trains

Fox2 Detroit News Link.
(Fun link dialled in by Night Admin – NA)

Nominated by: Fuckwittery

37 thoughts on “Mobile Speakerphone Usage”

  1. I’m guilty as charged! I’m a bit hard of hearing and the fucking speaker on my phone is pants, so I have to put the speaker phone on but turn it down a bit. In an effort to save my own neck I’m going to grass up the fucking Chinese here who seem to feel the need to bellow into the phone and have some kind of PA system attached so every fucker in Asia can here them. And it always seems to be the same guy😉

  2. Tarts on buses, long bleached hair done up in a pony tail. Her monstrous arse the size of Thornberry’s poking out of her ballet tight-style trousers. Fucking overdone it in the sun tanning lounge, ditto her make up, after she’s got her nails done in the “salon”, tells the caller she is “on the bus”. Says “yeah”and “absolutely” a lot. Talks about what she is going to do tonight and keeps calling her listener “babe” usually has a mixed race baby in a pram and a toddler of similar hue sitting next to her sniffing.

    A sight seen everyday on London buses. One word: cunt. Two words: Fuck off.

    Good morning.

  3. As a technophobe I dont know what it is called but they must have the device concealed about their person. Must be a ‘wireless’ thing. Anyway, it just looks like some loony coming towards you talking to himself. Or for a second is he talking to me?

    • Ah, that is what is known as ‘the blue loon’.

      Frequently seen pacing up and down train station platforms, ranting to themselves, while a blue light flashes in their ear.

      Enquiries as to who they are talking to such as ‘pardon’?, or ‘sorry, I didn’ t catch that’ will be dismissed with a nonchalant wave of their hand as they go on about KPIs and quarterly targets.

      Basically, they’re cunts.

  4. It always seems to be the more trivial and boring the person…the more likely they are to be blasting their banal conversations at top volume through a mobile phone.

      • Thank you, My Lord. Finally, I feel accepted into IsaC 🫡 (that’s me tugging my forelock)

  5. Not so long ago, if you saw someone walking along talking to themselves youd assume they were a headtheball.

    Cross the road
    Put your keys between your fingers in case they attacked you.

    Now its par for the course to walk about talking to yourself.
    Some hands free wireless shite im not sure,
    But its quite unnerving.

    Some Tory MP just gone in the nuthouse,
    Allegations hes a groper,
    Media gets hold…
    Off to the nuthouse.
    Id rather be known as a groper than a fuckin mentalist.
    His choice though.

    • When you’re white, straight and a fucking Tory your last line of defence is the mental elf card.

      • Or if caught pissed up in charge of a vehicle and charged by the rozzers – just say you’re a tranny who got raped. Everyone will then say how brave you are, instead of saying ‘Shouldn’t he lose his seat and place on the gravy train if guilty?’

        Perhaps Vlad can use this excuse at his war crimes trial?

  6. It would appear that this speaker phone nonsense is the manual version of collecting ‘likes’ and ‘hugs’ on Facebook, it’s all for show. It used to be loud mouthed sales types in pubs making out they were doing big deals. Now it’s fat slags trying to make out their lives consist of more than just universal credit, black cock and Caramac coloured kids with ‘issues’. Just keep it in soshul meeja you minging, yeasty minged mongs.

  7. The ones on the buses, it’s like they think a cloak of soundproof invisibility surrounds them the second they start talking.
    One time, I had some hard of thinking loon talking about someone he’d “done over”. You what? Utter twat.

  9. I know what you mean, i have a family of the noisiest Porto cunts living next door you could ever imagine, when Duracell boy isnt smashing up the house or trying to dig his way to the earths core using his skateboard they have these speaker phone conversations with their relatives back in the sun, they are so loud they dont need the phone at all, all in maching gun Span/Port i dont know i dont speak it.
    Used to have a really loud Ducati that i used to start up when i had finally had a tit full…
    Mobile phones have ruined humanity i think….

  10. If someone starts talking loudly into their phone on a bus or train l just start having a conversation with the twat. Confuses the fuck out of the cunts.

    • I like the idea that Smugcunt.
      If I used public transport I’d give it a go but I don’t, buses are rammed with chavs,millennials and swarthy types with bumfluff taches whose husbands are even more simian.

  11. Also Cunts who park up outside your house and converse via their speakers in the car.
    Utter, utter CUNTS!!

  13. Used to go to a pub that charged a quid for charity if your phone went off. Unfortunately saying “fuck” was the same price, so it got very expensive. Kept the air ambulance in fuel for a good while though.

  14. Saw and heard one of these self-important cunts marching around a local supermarket, braying and ‘going forward on that’ as if it was his office.
    ‘Yah yah yah, buy bread, sell butter!’
    What a cunt.

  15. If you all knew the true extent between mobile phone usage and cancer, then you would all be using your phones sparingly and at arms length, speaker on😉

  16. I don’t have a mobile phone, so I don’t get killed crossing the fucking road.

  17. As much as I despise charity in all its forms, I’m willing to donate generously* to an ISAC foundation to provide an ISAC pool car for our esteemed members to use.
    All this talk of our gentlemen having to use the fucking bus is quite upsetting, the poor buggers!

    * £7.50

      • I can transport the whole of ISAC in the back of the van.
        Better than some common sharabank bus!

        You can even smoke, drink, whatever.*

        *No wanking

    • I share your opinion Thomas. In recent years I have become steadily more amazed at the growing proportion of the population who don’t even have a driving licence, some in their twenties and thirties even. How the fuck does one live that way?

  18. Had a vacuous bint in costa a few months back chewing the fat with her bff I’m sure, all on speaker phone for all the world to listen to the inane chat. I finished up quickly and in passing told her No one in here wants to hear your fucking conversation. I actually got a “hear hear “ and a small round of applause from another punter.
    It felt gooooood!!
    These people need to be told.

  19. Speakerphone or not, I hate that mobile bloody ‘phones in the hands of the ignorant and inconsiderate has turned anywhere and everywhere into their personal bloody phone booth.

    Let’s not even start on the cunts who yap on the mobiles whilst driving.

  20. I go to a college every day with bus and pick up an assortment of spastics and young tight bodied stunners but there is one girl who manages to fit both these descriptions, hot until she speaks and you realise she might just be the fittest window licker around.
    Every day without fail she loudly drools into telephone on speaker to her mum telling her how her day went, usually consists of some valuable life lessons such as unplugging things after using them and occasional cookery.
    She has no shame in announcing loudly to the bus full of other spastics and hotties that she managed to coom cottage pie or beans on toast today, followed by the same conversation arguing with her mum about her dad picking her up from the bus like he does every day.
    Highlight of my day, and I probably would

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