Megan Topping

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Megan Topping and her Greggs obsession for your consideration.

Some people decide to do some extraordinary things to achieve a lifetime goal. Reach the summit of a mountain, travel across a vast expanse of water, travel through uncharted territory, but not this stupid bint, oh no, she’s a trailblazer.

Megan has decided to visit every Greggs in the country, in her honourable pursuit of cuntishness.

She’s eaten 10,000 sausage rolls, and spends £300 a month in the gourmet establishments, yet she’s only 8 stone and “leads a healthy lifestyle “.
“ So far, she’s visited every Greggs in Greater Manchester, said: “I couldn’t be more excited. I work a lot and I wanted to do something fun with my life, so I thought, ‘Sod it, why not?’

AMAZING. It takes a special kind of person to commit to such an enormous challenge in the pursuit of her personal goal of being, well, a proper thick cunt.

Mirror News Link

Nominated by: Cuntington Smythe

53 thoughts on “Megan Topping”

  1. Well done Megan!
    Aim high I say.

    Must say considering you eat a lot of badly baked pastry you have a lovely figure!

    Sausage rolls eh?
    Ive a small greasy pork product with a flaky outer casing id like to put in your mouth….

  2. Stupid for being addicted to a high street baker, but not so stupid for pulling off this bit of publicity for them.

    She will probably be given a loyalty card which at the very least will give her a discount for life.

    I think that Nandos do similar.
    They have a Black Card which allows some celebrities to eat for free.

  3. Inspiring stuff.

    Her t-shirt looks like the palm in the shape of a cross I got yesterday at mass.

    • She’s got a job on I would imagine. Thinking sbout my town centre there’s one in the bus statiin, one across from the bus station, one no two in the shopping precinct.
      They’re everywhere.
      Yes like a new religion-Greggism.

    • How Jesus fed five thousand people with five sausage rolls and two small bacon and cheese paninl’s, is beyond me.
      It’s a miracle.
      Morning, Miles.

      • Morning Jack. 👍

        And there were ‘leftovers’ too if you recall the passage.
        Which I think is signicant for some reason

      • Thats what the Bible left out.
        5000 people having a picnic on a beach?

        Seagulls would of attacked.
        Screeching, pinching chips,
        Shitting on people.
        Some might say it ruins a nice story,
        I say it adds a bit of action..

  4. I suspect after eating each of these revolting things, the young lady adjourns to the nearest public lavatory, or wastebin (whichever is nearer) with her hands down her throat to bring the foul thing up again. That’s how she keeps her figure. Either that or an Yvette Cooper “Junior Miss Corselet”

  5. I am not ashamed to admit some of the pies/sausage rolls in Gregg’s are good. Fuck off.

    Although if you ate there every day, you’d soon end up weighing 30 stone.

    She looks nice at the start of this mad mission. Let’s see how she looks at the end of it (if she’s not in a morgue after a massive heart attack.)

    If she’d like some exercise to help keep her figure nice and trim, I’ve got something she can ride on.

    As long as she agrees to bring a few freebies from Gregg’s and offer to make me a cup of tea though.

    If not, she can fucking forget it, the cheeky bitch.

  6. You are what you eat.

    This young lady’s coochie likely has a whiff of cold stale pastry and swine meat. Go to the other end and she probably has breath like one of Gadaffi’s camels.

    I bet her morning shits cut her arsehole to ribbons.

    Silly cunt.

  7. Vacuous cunt👎

    If she did something more inspirational-throwing pigs blood on every mosque door in the UK, I would personally pay her travel expenses 👍

    • I’d give her a lift around all the mosques in my 1977 Reliant Robin.
      We’d be nice and close, just a small gearstick to separate us, and if I needed to select reverse, I’m bound to accidentally touch her thigh.

      And at 66 to the gallon, it would be excellent value for money.

  8. 8 stone? Sounds like eating disorder territory to me. I reckon she’d put on a few pounds after devouring my sausage though. Ooh err missus!

    • Probably smokes 20 Richmonds (not the sausages) and a couple cans of red bull to keep up that metabolism for her next gorge of pastry and pork!!!

  9. Right lass, you’ve had your
    15 minutes of fame, pity you’ve wasted it promoting Greggs, instead of yourself.

  10. Sitting in the park.
    Munching on Greggs cakes and pastries.
    Ogling the twat…..
    .
    .
    .
    .
    .
    You dirty bastards.
    Get To Fuck

    • Reading Megans story makes me wish I to could achieve something of greatness,
      Go down in history, inspire others,etc
      But I don’t like Greggs!

      So probably wont bother.

      I like Megan!
      Not afraid to follow her dream .
      No matter the cost.
      (£47.80p)

      Shes easily pleased and not a diva I’ll give her that!

  11. For one precious moment when I saw this nomination’s headline I thought Sparkletits had done herself in. What a bitter disappointment.

    • Yes I was hoping an MI6 wetwork squad had ended Mr and Mrs Hewitt on the annirversary of the good Duke’s return to his home in Tanna.

  12. I kid you not, there’s a Greggs Drive through not far from me.
    It won’t be long before there’s a fucking Greggs Fit through.

    Greasy shite

    That Greasy shite is a comment btw, not a signature.

  13. Well I think she’s quite charming and I’d like to gift her some baby gravy.

    But shed have to ask nicely.

    • She said: “The sausage roll is the best thing Greggs does, hands down. I love it fresh out of the oven”

      In like Flynn.

    • Her name sounds like some revolting sauce Greggs have developed for their pasties. “ Would you like some Megan Topping on that?”

  14. Being a collosal per v ert, I of course zoomed in on the photo for any sign of nipple or camel toe.

    My search, cock in hand, was sadly fruitless.

    But wait… what is this I see?

    A nose ring?
    A tattoo on her left wrist?
    Goth style black make up and nails?

    How very disappointing.

    Throw it in the bin.

  17. Tell her that there’s a Gregg’s in Somalia, run by pirates, you’ll love it, babes!

  18. Greegs food is expensive greasy shit for the unwashed….and school kids it seems.

    She needs to find herself a big black cock and a butt plug instead of messing around with low quality processed meat pasties.

  19. Just to add to the publicity element, I may suggest to Gregg’s that I’m willing to smear the contents of a hot steak bake around my bollocks, ringpiece and perianal area. This deluded tart could then lick the brown, meaty contents off. The steak bake would disguise my incontenance issues, and furthermore it tastes like dried on shit anyway.

  21. I don’t know where this cult of Greggs has come from. Time was when youngsters feel for Scientology and the Moonies. Now it’s Greggs.

  22. I dont mind Greggs if i’m working near one.
    A lot better than Subway, McDonalds or KFC.
    However, their coffee is shit.

  23. I’d like to offer Megan a topping of my man fat on her tatties.
    I’ll pay for lunch too.

  24. Dreggs in more way than one.

    See her on the other side of her sausage roll endeavour and she’ll look like Gemma Collins.

  27. Looks like a tranny to me.
    Also has an unhealthy obsession with pork swords, er, I mean sausage rolls.
    Coincidence??

  28. Fucking makes my blood boil when twats do that stupid peace sign.
    It’s banned from any photo taking in my immediate family.
    They gave been taught it looks stupid.
    (I wanted to use harsher words on how it looks in my lessons of social skills)

  29. I did the Fullers passport challenge in the 80s visited maybe 15 of their fine establishemnts before passing getting barred from all their pubs and using the passport to wipe the vomit off me. Happy days. Not 8 stone though, unsurprisingly

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