IKEA [2]

Voyerism in the Staff Toliets -Sponsored by IKEA.

Firstly if you want to spy on people do a better job of it. Secondly if you really do have a solid drug and drink policy why do you just ask them to take a private test for drink and drugs and thirdly maybe listen to employees because most decent people don’t want to have thieves among their ranks or smack heads interrupting a fantastic bowl curler.

Do you know what I’ve worked for companies like this when you need to sign in to have a shite. Do you think people are going to want to work for cunts like you when you have to sign in for a shit???? Fuck off dirty perving cunts.

Oh don’t worry it’s ‘Accidential’

Daily Mail News Link

Nominated by: Clown Clown the Cunty Man

49 thoughts on “IKEA [2]

  1. Why don’t they cut the middleman out and have a bod timing them in the traps? 2 minutes 30 seconds and three sheets of arsewipe.

  2. If I lived in Peterborough and worked for IKEA, I’d be doing copious amounts of drugs, too.

  3. Peterborough, most rapidly growing city in the UK, cosmopolitan is the word, no wonder IKEA are worried 😂

    Just put in a policy of random drug testing, but filming in the bog, maybe they have a sideline with pornhub

    • I’m a native Sick, but escaped over 20 years ago. They are so cosmopolitan in the Boro it even had its own grooming gang scandal.

  4. Ikea and the Daily Wail are both cunts for calling the bog a ‘bathroom’.
    Fuck off both of you.

  5. I once looked up in an acoustic drop ceiling on a remodel job and there must have been about 40 to 50 empty plastic liquor bottles laying on top of the tiles. Someone was not just drinking but finishing those on the job.

  6. Just imagine if their were cameras in the shithouses at The Labour Party. All the poofter MPs making out in the stalls, Mandy with his own private gloryhole. Chris Bryant putting his lippy on, and his buttplug in, and Dame Kweer himself adjusting his stocking tops and suspenders, and inspecting the frilly knickers for piss-stains and skid marks. Even worse in the ladies, with Jess Phillips tying down her strap-on , and using it like a belt, and AnalEase applying axle grease on her clitty lips. Just in case.

    • Separate lavs for ladies & gents, Mr B? Not allowed by Labour surely. Don’t they all use the same gender neutral disabled bog so they can virtue signal their mental illness and avoid subconsciously displaying an opinion on the issue of female identity?

    • That did make me laugh. They could make that a spitting image sketch.

  7. Ikea arent subtle.
    Id of put up paintings that have removable eyes so you can spy on them.
    Perverted yet cultured.

    Sign in for a shite?
    Just all put the managers name down,

    No one can tell you when you can use the toilet,
    Your not 5yrs old.
    Tell them to get fucked.
    Ive never let a boss tell me something so demeaning .
    And they haven’t tried.
    Id leave my resignation taped to a mound of my steaming shite on his desk.

  8. Ikea arent subtle.
    Id of put up paintings that have removable eyes so you can spy on them.
    Deviant yet cultured.

    Sign in for a shite?
    Just all put the managers name down,

    No one can tell you when you can use the toilet,
    Your not 5yrs old.
    Tell them to get fucked.
    Ive never let a boss tell me something so demeaning .
    And they haven’t tried.
    Id leave my resignation taped to a mound of my steaming shite on his desk.

    • Its the Swedes, Miserable, too much nudism at summer camps and erotic saunas, makes them insatiable for filth, continentals eh?

      And what’s all this signing in to take a dump business? I bet company policy wouldn’t take half as much interest in your toilet habits if you were some towelhead nipping out to pray or fasting at Ramadamadingdong.

      • It was BT if you must know as they mostly employ agency workers.

  9. Two of the cameras became dislodged, accidentally filming inside bathrooms. Ho ho fucking ho accidentally. Fucking cunts.

  10. Expect more of this malarkey from big employers, especially since the P&O sackings. If you can lay people off with no notice and still trade, monitoring their toilet activities would be deemed as trifling by our caring, sharing government. It’s all because of covid and Brexit innit? If we don’t let big businesses rip off their own staff, let alone customers, they’ll go bust. The big employers will be issuing fines for attending your parents funerals next, or estimating how long it takes to recover from a triple heart bypass. This will only apply to white indigenous citizens only of course.

    • I wonder how a big business (especially the right-on virtue signalling ones signing up to the various LGBTetc friendly type charters) would handle a bloke saying that:
      * they identify as a transgender woman of a foreign ethnicity and
      religion, and
      * claims that their hourly 20 minute long bog breaks are necessary
      because they are undergoing a difficult# monthly menstruation and
      consequently have to frequently monitor & change their personal
      feminine hygiene products, then
      * states they’re being discriminated against and will sue / create a
      social media sh!tstorm if the employer trys to limit the number of
      “comfort breaks” they take.

      Meltdown in personnel / human resources (or whatever they call it these days to avoid offending d!ckheads who identify as cats) I’d expect.

      # difficult when they don’t have the necessary internal plumbing despite whatever surgery they may have had.

  11. They gone at it half cocked.

    Just have the worker’s toilets out on the shop floor.

    No more time and motion studies required.

    PS:Sweden is full of dark keys now who shut where they like anyway so just sack everyone and get these savages in to sell lamps and cushions.

    You fucking soft cunts.

    • Cunt of a Korean arsehole phone

      Shit not shut you auto correct rice paddy nuclear fuckwits

  12. Wasn’t the founder Ingvar Kamprad a Nazi sympathiser?
    Surprised he didn’t instal special “showers” in the bogs.

  13. I think almost every male hates IKEA. I had cause to take an item back last week because it was too big.
    Did you open it? I was asked.
    How the fuck could I find out it wouldn’t fit I said.
    Fucking turnips.
    As for timed shits, a bloke I worked with had more shits than a cow. He’d be well fucked.

  14. Ive wasted countless hours being dragged round Ikea in the 90s.
    And putting that flatpack shite together.

    I rebelled.
    Told her, fuck this!
    Its boring as fuck and you keep going back to look at stuff weve already seen.
    Surprisingly and unusually I won!

    Shed leave me reading a paper and eating meatballs in the cafe till it was time to pay and load the car.

    Nowadays she likes rustic, reclaimed stuff, proper furniture,
    And we go round antique places.
    I dont mind that.
    Miss the meatballs though…

  15. I presume the false ceiling that fell apart was self assembled by IKEA?

  16. As I sit on my unbelievably comfy IKEA corner sofa which doubles up as emergency sleeping for two, as well as being a permanent pet bed, I cannot do anything other than agree with this nom.
    Isn’t it illegal to put cameras in bogs?
    Even in the washbasin area?

  17. The younger generation are so compliant most of them will accept this sort of shite.

    If I had a boss who said I needed his permission to have a shit, I’d ask politely, sign his little book, squat on his desk and release last night’s 6 pints of stout and the large donner kebab I’d been holding in all day, all over his face with a bang.

      • To be honest CCTCM, I wouldn’t expect many regulars on here of any age to put up with that, but in general I’d expect a lot would say nod and say nothing.

    • I knew a guy who shat on his bosses desk when he left. What a legend. I used to tell this story to new graduates at work, then leave a plastic dog turd in their desk drawer.

  18. IKEA was founded using free labour in the political prisons of East Germany. This isn’t anything new with this lot

  19. IKEA was founded using free labour in the political prisons of East Germany. This isn’t anything new with this lot

  20. To be honest Ikea would of got its moneys worth if I’d worked there.
    Washing my arse in the sink,
    Stealing bogrolls
    Having a kip
    Cooking a cheese toastie on the handdryer

    I agree with Clown 🤡
    They should put more hidden cameras in toilets.
    Let the staff watch the outtakes and bloopers at the Christmas do.

  21. Not specifically about IKEA, but it’s common for Yank employers to require a drug screen as a pre-qualification of employment. I always object on the grounds it represents the automatic assumption of wrong doing for which there is no evidence to back that up. You are, in effect, expected to prove you’ve done nothing wrong. What happened to innocent until proven guilty?

    I have never ingested an illegal substance in my life, so I strongly object to the automatic assumption that I have. In the past I have either refused or demanded that, upon the screen coming back negative, I am offered a full and unconditional apology for having made me comply which turned out to be completely unnecessary. Sometimes HR argues about it. I counter that with this simple argument.

    I am offended that I am effectively being accused of wrong doing and the company has no basis upon which to make that false assumption. I do not wish to work for a company run by a pee-doh-phile. I therefore insist the CEO take a lie detector test to help prove they are not one. Do you think they’d be offended by that? Yeah, I bet they would too but it’s OK to offend me? Fuck right off.

    Companies are so full of shit over here, it’s not even funny. Another example of a double standard was the absolute ban on alcohol on company premises. A colleague had really helped me out over something, so I wanted to give him a 6 pack of European beers (he liked beer) as a thank you. Long story short, I had to hand it to him in the company car park because, you know, the policy!!! Fast forward a few months and the company sponsored some fund raising event they do each year. This included multiple moronic events, including a raffle. The prizes were displayed on a long table for maybe a couple of weeks before the drawing. And guess what some of the prizes were. Yep, bottles of booze! On company premises!!! Well, well, well. When I pointed out the double standard, you should have seen some of the faces. It was priceless. Cunts.

    The stories I could tell about that particular company. Jeez!

    • Yep, I’m with you IY. Most egregious of all is no jab no job. Good people were fired because they refused to participate in a medical experiment. Cunts.

      There is staggering hypocrisy and double standards over here.

      • Hi BH – Yeah, the jab thing was particularly badly handled by my present employer. They are a federal contractor which means they undertake contract work for the US government. Carcass Biden signed an executive order mandating all federal contractor employees MUST be vaccinated.

        Of course, EOs are not law and their use cannot be used to effectively rule the population. It was a clear over reach of executive power. That particular game seems to have been started by that cunt Obama, but I digress. Anyway, the company set a date by which all employees needed to prove they had been vaccinated. I asked repeatedly if that date would still stand if the mandate was struck down. No answer. Well, the mandate was struck down so I pressed the issue. Still no definitive response from the company. Almost a week later we got some half arsed shit email from the cunts in HR saying they were monitoring the situation. The wording was clearly slanted towards their expectation the mandate would be upheld after all. To this day, that hasn’t happened. As someone who works from home, never goes to an office location and is no threat to other employees or customers, I asked about the logic of their decision to pander to the government and not seek to object for the benefit, welfare and freedom of choice for their employees. Crickets! Absolute cunts. Cannot wait to leave.

      • Yup, not dissimilar situation here IY.

        Before I moved here I used to be puzzled about septics bemoaning federal overreach etc and the threat to their 1st, 2nd amendment rights etc. I am puzzled no more, I totally get it.

      • Hi BH – America is a weird paradox for sure, which you don’t fully appreciate until you’re up close and personal. Land of the free, shining example to the world of a democratic republic, checks and balances of the 3 branches of government, blah blah blah. America is at war with itself on a constant basis as far as I can tell. A land of extremes.

        The over reach is a real thing. Being litigious is a state of mind here. It’s like some people see how far they can push the envelope before someone else sues them over it. Decency, fair play, being level headed, straight forward, honest, showing integrity, moral fibre, a back bone and just being ethical are things which seem alien to many Americans I come into contact with. They may not fall short of all of those things, but a fair number of them.

        The 2nd amendment (the right to bear arms) had to be explained to me before I fully understood what the argument was about. It’s not really about guns per se. For non-Americans reading this allow me to explain.

        In the US, you’re pretty much allowed to walk into a gun shop, buy a gun having passed a less than rigorous background check and walk about again, locked and loaded. You don’t need to know anything about guns. You’re not required to undertake any training or gain a certificate or license demonstrating any aptitude to operate a firearm whatsoever. Personally I think that’s insane and many gun owners I’ve spoken to agree. But it has nothing to do with safety or building up your own personal arsenal or anything like that. It has everything to do with your unalienable right to do so. That’s the point.

        The right to bear arms is an unalienable right. It’s in the US Constitution. Meaning, the right is not granted by any authority or government entity and hence, it cannot be revoked by those bodies either. It is something the private citizen has complete control over and there’s nothing the government can do about it. If the second amendment were repealed and one unalienable right were to disappear, the argument goes what else will the government take away from its citizens. So the issue is more about a principle. Guns just happen to be the subject matter.

        As I said, America is at war with itself. Some are trying to do ‘bigger, better, faster, more’ (good example was Trump) while others are trying to destroy the foundation upon which America was founded and has flourished for a very long time (good example, far left Demoncrats). The 3 branches of government (Executive, Judicial and Legislative) are not designed to all get along. They’re designed to be in a perpetual state of flux and argument. It’s supposed to provide a balance so no one branch can dominate or overthrow the others. When you get extremes (left or right) like we have now, there’s an attempt to hijack one (or more) of the other branches and so create a monopoly of power. It’s a constant shit show. Just my $0.02 worth.

      • Excellentgovernment.

        Federal overreach in the US is the equivalent of diktats from the unelected EU commission. But at least septics have a vote.

        The drivers manual of the first state I lived in here proclaimed ‘it is a privilege to drive on our roads’. That brought home to me the inalienable right to bear arms. Your right to drive can be revoked but your right to own guns cannot. This lead me to understand the septic reaction to gun laws which, from a British perspective, where gun ownership is considered a privilege and not a right, seemed entirely reasonable.

        To many Americans, any restriction whatsoever on their right to freely own as many guns and as much ammo as they wish is a violation of their constitutional right. And the fact its about guns is just incidental.

        Given too that most federal governments in modern times subscribe to the Mao Zedong doctrine that all power comes from the barrel of a gun and therefore the populous must be disarmed to be controlled then you have a country at war with itself.

        As for one tier of government, the Supreme Court, I was considering a nom for that all of its own. A true court should simply interpret and apply the law. There should be no room for the political or other opinions of the justices, it should be objective. Yet the US Supreme Court, apparently staffed by the most learned and esteemed judges in the land, every recent judgment I can remember has gone along ideological lines. So the SC is just another bunch of political ideologues. Cunts. No wonder septics despise their govvernment.

      • Good comments, BH.

        Yeah, the Supreme Court is a real puzzle, isn’t it? As you say, their decisions should be based upon sound legal principles and not tied to which President’s political party appointed them. But that’s not how it works. They allow their political and personal bias influence their decisions. That’s how that bastard Obama managed to get the health insurance personal mandate into law. A blatant abuse of the commerce law which absolutely should have been struck down, but wasn’t. That personally cost me $3,000. Bastards!

        That was when the Demoncrats had more justices than the Repubs. Trump swung it back the other way. Do the Demons wait for a justice to die or retire so they can swing it back in their favour? Hell no! Their plan is to expand the number of justices so half wit Biden can appoint his picks for the new vacant slots. You couldn’t make it up. It’s about as corrupt as you can get. A fine example they set. Not.

      • Well they’re not above arkancide when it suits them (ref Justice Alito?). This is also why Justice Clarence Thomas has been in my last rwo dead pool picks. How he must fuck their minds, a black conservative.

  22. How many of you dirty bastards have gone on Pornhub and typed in ‘ Ikea ‘, since reading this nom ?
    You’re a disgrace. 😀

  23. The place reminds me of playing Doom or escape from Wolfenstein in the early ’90’s except with crap furniture. Shortcuts get you completely lost and just when you think you’ve escaped there’s another level.

    • They made it to Oz too?

      It’s weird actually since IKEA in US has exactly the same layout and merchandise as the UK you can forget which country you’re in. Only the currency on the price tag reminds you.

      With the technocratic elite hell bent on a global digital currency and global government soon we won’t even have the currency to remind us which district of planet earth we’re in. Then again, since we’ll all be living, and mostly dying, in caves by then, there won’t be much call for badly made, weirdly named furniture anyway.

  24. Not only do they sell shitty furniture whilst falsely claiming they are Greta-friendly, now this.

    I have 2 pieces of Ikea pap in my house; maybe I should burn them on Tik Tok…

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