Sex Litter

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Sex Litter.
When your working and stop for a bacon and egg butty,
A view of the beautiful Peak District and a hot cuppa,
You dont want to see cum filled rubber Johnnie’s hanging from the bushes and shitty undercrackers where some Adrian delatouche or Michael Barrymore type had been bummed in the foliage.

Call me fussy but its off putting.

Big Baps is a roadside cafe near Hattersley (where the moors murderers lived)
Ive eaten there,
I liked the catchy name.
Just down the road in Mottram you can sit on a bench next to a lifesize bronze sculpture of painter Lowry.

Simple pleasures for simple folk.

But this is being ruined by the Ducky brigade,
Bumming each other ragged and leaving a mess.
I thought the honky-tonk club were environmentally aware?

A dog could choke on a discarded salty rubber thinking its a snack,
Or a flid in a wheelchair get spunk an shite all over its wheels.

Truck an van drivers want to eat at a nice establishment without the mary annes causing litter and open air sodomy.

Peter Sutcliffe must be turning in his grave.

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/big-baps-caf-next-men-23389594

Nominated by Miserable Northern Cunt

54 thoughts on “Sex Litter”

    • A pal of mine (honestly it wasn´t me) told me he was screwing his girlfriend on the rug in front of the fire when he heard the front door open and his father arrive. He quickly withdrew, tied a knot in his FL and threw it in the fire. He and the girl then sat innocently on the sofa but at the moment his father walked in the Durex exploded sending smelly bits of rubber all over the place.

    • In MY experience it’s many of those van and lorry drivers who participate in a bit of puffetry to relieve the tedium of a long drive.

  2. Selfish cunts ruining a pleasure spot for everyone else.

    Perhaps Pervo Parks should be stablished to contain these freaks. At least decent people would know to avoid them.

  3. As a young lad, the first ( and only) place I rented, the landlord was a puritanical, religious bigot type, was the epitome of a tight fisted landlord.
    At the end of my lease, a pal came round with boxes and boxes of Durex-I have no idea where the fucker got them.

    We mixed up a bowl of paste, made up of flour and water, then put a couple of teaspoons of the mixture into a each condom and inflated them, like obscene balloons 👍

    We filled every fucking cupboard and the wardrobe and the refrigerator with them.

    Miserable-even you would have been amused😂

    • Why not wank into them?
      When I were a lad I was so overloaded with jizz if I’d burst it would have looked like an explosion in an aspic factory.

      • As a lad if 19, I got so much “girly action”, I couldn’t spare a single ml😉

  4. Just wait in said bushes with a flamethrower, kills all germs stone dead.
    Fudgepacking deviants.

    • The grief jacking is in full swing as per usual. Loads of slebs coming out on Twitter with the usual ‘will be sadly missed’, ‘RIP’, ‘one of a kind’, blah blah blah. I suppose if they don’t, they’ll be accused of being bigger cunts for saying nothing. I think that’s the currency.

      What really gets me is the news story includes a quote from some cunt’s Twatter feed, then immediate below it shows a screen shot of the actual Twatter feed comment. What’s the fucking point of that? Utter bullshit.

  6. Hmmm

    A likely story.

    “Yes officer. I was just admiring the view. That jizz filled Johnny with shit on it? Nothing to do with me officer. And it’s warm so I took my trousers off and now I can’t find them. Oh him? That’s my ‘friend’, Ducky. He lost his trousers too.”

    I bet Philip Schofield’s wife heard better excuses than that.

    😉

    • In all seriousness though, these cunts should be shot. You should be able to enjoy a quite bap and brew without some chutney ferrets ruining it all.

    • Morning Cuntybollocks👍

      I have 2 best mates, we’ve been mates since tots, but ones nickname is ‘Ducky’😂👍

      He was a used car dealer but started up a shortlived antique/vintage shop.
      We immediately nicknamed him “Ducky Darling ‘
      Shortened to Duçky.
      Tehe😁

      Hes one of the best heavy metal drummers ive ever heard,
      And a all round good lad👍

      • Haha

        I’m not stalking you, don’t worry.

        Nice wallpaper you just put up by the way. Did ‘Ducky’ help you choose it.

        They’re good at that sort of stuff, the gays.

      • Hanging around notorious ‘cruising’ spots?

        Best friend called ‘Ducky Darling’?

        The prosecution’s case rests, M’lud.

  7. A nomination worthy of a Nobel prize.

    I knew this was coming,the Gays ruining a fry up.

    It’s all part of the dreadful fiendish plot to turn us all into Veganists.

    Disgraceful.

  8. The wooded part of Holland Park is notorious for it.

    Used Johnny’s, spent lube bottles, empty viagra packs & a shit and jizz frosted buttplug are but some of the things left around for curious kids to pick up and wave triumphantly at mortified parents.

  10. They make out that this type of filthy deviance is romantic or to be celebrated.

    Mrs wanted to watch that Freddy Mercury film so I suffered it with her.

    Had a scene where he goes off (while married) into a public bog to have it away with some dirty gay. If was played off as some kind of romantic scene ffs. My comment of ‘They should have blokes with machine guns at these places, ready to gun these cunts down,’ brought about a few ‘tut tuts’.

    • Like my favourite joke – what’s the similarity between George Michael and a pair of wellington boots?

      They both get sucked off in bogs.

      I’ll get my coat……

  11. I have experienced this.
    I stopped just outside New Mills one night for a bit of a rest. Near some woods. My relaxation was ruined by the sight of a large, bald bearded cunt wanking onto the windscreen of removals van.
    A fucking disgrace.

  12. It’s part of the gay lifestyle to fiddle and diddle in public places, if any complaints are made they are deemed homophobic.

    Isn’t it odd that once homosexuality is legalised the sort of Deviant behaviour that caused many to become homophobic is normalised and indeed celebrated to the point drag queens are invited to schools and library’s and the gays can prance around in carnivals in front of kids in BDSM outfits.

    In our democracy what the powers that be deem right overrules public sentiment every time, a government based upon the votes of the majority then oppresses the will of the majority.

    Hang a shit covered Johnny on the old oak tree, you can’t come in me.

    Freedom is one thing, be gay, live your life but get a fucking room.

    • I haven’t lost hope for the younger generation. My daughter cam home yesterday laughing about the “poofy police car” that was behind her all the way home. “Stupid pride flag painted on the bonnet” she said.

  13. They used to gather in the woods near my kids old school (they probably still do). Hollow Ponds in east London. I used to get to the school early and walk the dogs before picking them up. The collie had an uncanny knack of flushing out the queers from the woods. I remember on fruity gent dressed in pristine white trousers and top, a bit like Georg Michael. The dog found him and was jumping up at him with filthy muddy paws. Let’s just say hell hath no fury like a poof dressed up for cottaging then having to skulk off home without any arse action.

  14. ” cum filled rubber Johnnie’s hanging from the bushes and shitty undercrackers”…..you should follow the Country Code and take your fucking detritus home with you.

    I’m going to report you for fly-tipping.

  15. The filthy beasts! Do they not have enough room at the Labour and Lib Dem party conferences?
    Has the BBC run out of space?
    Discarded photos of Schofield and Mr Kipling French Fancy packaging everywhere when trying to enjoy a cup of tea and a butty al fresco? ?
    The countryside is for abandoned porn mags and discarded McDonalds wrappers – no need to sully it with this kind of thing!

  16. It’s not just the fruits. A car park near me at a local beauty spot is a regular dogging spot, where fucking weirdos screw in cars for even bigger weirdos to wank over.
    If ever I’m feeling a bit shit, I remember I’m not one of those wankers, and I cheer up no end.
    It’s all relative.😀

    Great nom MNC!

  17. Dirty, dirty fucking bastards. Streatham Common and Clapham Common are alive with this bent filth after dark as, I imagine, is every open urban space with a few trees in every city in the country.
    These are not the ducky types you see at Gay Pride events……a lot of them are respectable married men, the Schofield and Barrymore types. I would throw them to the Peacefuls to deal with. Give the lazy cunts something useful to do.
    Alan’s Snackbar! ( not the one round the back of Clapham South station where the benders hang out)

    • Everyone has sexy times and urges, I get that.
      But leaving shite all over the place near where people eat food?!!
      It offended my delicate sensibilities I must admit .

      If it was straight people doing it,
      Its still disgusting.
      I don’t have owt against gays
      I’ll wave to Limp Larry and shout

      “How do Honky tonk?!!
      Wheres your handbag?!”

      Friendly to everyone me,
      But this sort of behaviour is obscene.
      Are your ears burning Andy Burnham?

  18. As disgusting as this practice is I’ve often been caught out on the walk to or from work so the bus stop with the need to void my bowels in the nearest convenient shrubbery. I gather that the malodorous stench of my curry, port, pale ale and stout, not at all solid shits must cause no small amount of distress to passers by and dogs. Even I wince at the hue when passing by the scene of my shame the next few days.

  19. It’s gay culture you bigots! Every shirtlifter has the right to get blown in public, their ancestors fought for the right to go badger spotting wherever they want.
    You wouldn’t mock black culture, which mainly consists of rappers stabbing each other then posting a little dance on YouTube about it, would you?

  20. Curry, port, pale ale and stout. Crikey Shackle, is that what passes for bush tucker these days?
    G’day cobber.

  22. As my Nan-Nan used to say about litter louts “It’s not hard to put it in your pocket and put in the bin when you get home”. Put your used jubbers, shit stained undercrackers and wank socks in your pockets you dirty cunts.

    • Or put them in an envelope, and post to:
      BBC Television Centre
      Oil Drum Lane,
      Acton,
      London

  23. After reading this I feel as if I have gained a deeper understanding of your life Miserable.

    Only I’m not sure if I wanted to.

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