I would like to nominate polishing fat turds for a cunting.
I was recently in Germany on business and whilst waiting for the sky train to Dusseldorf airport (that part of Germany is a shit hole full of Turkish cunts by the way, avoid at all costs, honestly I’d rather go to Middlesbrough) and what do I see standing in front of me? Two “plus size” land whales checking their make-up and doing their hair for a selfie next to the sky train.
Walking (waddling) evidence that it is in fact impossible to polish a turd unless it’s been fossilised. Your hair and make-up don’t matter one jot when you’re as fat and ropey as Jabba the Hut after a monster sesh on the broon ale and kebabs.
These horror shows then have the nerve to complain when Asda can’t find a sailing ship canvas big enough to cover their arses.
https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/fashion-news/asda-hit-complaints-dressing-plus-23199201
Bad enough we have to literally orbit these cunts in the street!
Nominated by: Dr Geordie Cunt, I presume
Seconded by: Get Fucked Woke Cunts
As people are sooo fat do they really have gravitational pull. Is this why cyclists and cars and pedestrians have accidents. Should they affect insurance quotes.
the story continues.
I knew someone like that. Long story short, she died in her forties.
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Was it a mercy killing?
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Maybe a mercy suicide
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She would need cable not rope ….
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As a belated Birthday present to Miserable:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjC0vMIrOAk
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Evening CG…I’ve been working away the last couple of days. What did the ISAC collective get MNC for his birthday?
Just asking ‘cos I’m 50 in a month and I quite fancy a new computer…
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Evening Thomas👍
A years membership to the Peak District Naked Ramblers society.
A new computer you say?
You can have my old desktop-as long as you can work with Windows 97👍
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Windows 97, you say?! Technocunt will be spitting his tea out!
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Nope.
You’re a fat, tar brushed mong whose misplaced narcissism needs gas mark Chernobyl.
Lip up fatty.
Terry !
The fuck is your jumbo oven for pity’s sake.
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Morbid obesity ought to be encouraged. It might cost the NHS untold billions, but without it, we couldn’t watch “My 600lb Life”, which is hilarious.
I’m heartened by the fact that they’re (obese blokes as well as wimminz) eking out their pathetic existences in constant agony, they deserve it, the worthless pieces of shit.
Genuinely disabled people would love a working body, yet these crapbags just abuse theirs.
It doesn’t take much to keep your body in shape, eat sensibly, exercise most days of the week, don’t drink much and don’t smoke.
I’d still shag a fat bird though. Although I’d make undeniably sure that she had a wretchedly miserable time.
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Looking at the length of her arms and the size of her arse, how does she wipe after curling down a turd that smells exclusively of lard and Greggs produce?
Thinking about it, to get that fat you probably have to brush your teeth with lard too.
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She probably dips the bog brush into the bowl and does a front to back, Odin.
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You can buy a special ass wiping stick for fat cunts. Seriously.
Can you even begin to imagine the state of the butt hole? To get morbidly obese you have to eat literally tons of junk food. Scientists estimate that super tubby cunts produce 6 loose stools per day on average.
Idea for new bbc game show, Celebrity fatty concentration camp! “Who lives? You decide!” Ratings will be spectacular.
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Am I alone in hoping that the fat fucker walked backwards and fell into the pool and the local whale fisherman harpooned the dusky-heffelump👍
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For Thomas: I remember this doing the rounds, many years ago.
Ladies & Gentlemen-Tommy Cunt-engine giving a fat bitch a keep fit class😙
Warning: do not click if easily offended😉
https://www.xvideos.com/video591163/shark_fucks_whale_
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HAHAHAHA! Superb.
Bird in the ad first though, why aye!
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Oooooh my mom virginity has gone. Feeling dirty. Time to buy a Mars bar and find a land whale
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*nom
FFS, let’s not go there with my mom/mam.
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What’s not to like about Middlesbrough? At least it’s not Hartlepool!
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Or Darlington.
The land that time forgot.
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Oooooh Darlo is a fucking utopia compared to Spennymoor.
Fun game is to go to Darlo, call everyone railway children and see how long you survive with all your teeth
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Most of the front doors in Boro are like saloon doors, with the bottom halves kicked in by chavs and the tops half still dead bolted. Had a mate went to uni there. Had all his stuff stolen twice in one week by cunts that just kicked the door in while they were all on the house and just walked in with crowbars and silently took everything. Kill it, with fire
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Everywhere has it’s shitholes. Newcastle is mainly a shit hole.
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Truth. Some gentrified parts barely “polish the turd”
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Plus sized oven Unkle
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There are old cunts and there are fat cunts, but there are no old fat cunts. I heard that on the embarrassing bodies programme. Cyril Smith was the exception that proves the rule, apparently kiddie fiddling is beneficial for the heart. How the fuck did he catch them though?
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