Lent – another four-letter word
I don´t know if Protestants and other heretics observe Lent but it´s the only time I feel any sympathy with Moslems who fast for 30 days. That´s easy compared with what we Papes have to put up with. A minimum of 40 days and often it lasts longer. No drinking, no Internet porn, no arguing with wife, daily mass, fasting, giving my hard-earned cash to worthless scumbags. It´s all down there, chiselled in stone so I have no choice.
Still there´s Easter to look forward to – that is if it ever comes. An English Catholic writer called Caryll Houselander once said that she was surprised at how quickly Lent passed and hinted that it should be longer so we could enjoy our suffering more. She must have been on speed or something.
Nominated by: Mr Polly
Speaking as a confirmed heretic, allow me to commend Mr. Polly on his empathy and piety towards others.
I feel no empathy for the carpet kissers who want to fast. They can all starve as far as I’m concerned.
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It’s ok General C-once the sun goes down, Abdul & co are free to enjoy an all you can eat curry & underage white girl banquet👎👎👎
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I know CG it’s the same here in the states. Nonetheless, I feel bad for my unchristian like attitude in this, the season of rebirth.
So…I’d like to invite every goat fucking son of Allah to the Cuntster Villa for an all “you can eat” Southern buffet of bacon, ham, pork chops, hog jowls, pickled pigs feet and of course…fried chitlins!
13
Very generous.
I shall restrict myself standing outside a mosque, offering Abdul & co packets of Pork Scratchings👍
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If you’re going to do that CG allow me to contribute some livermush and scrapple.*
*Are you English cunters familiar with these traditional American breakfast foods?
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Im all for people torturing themselves,in small ways.
Good stuff catholics,👍
Will we ever have a chinese pope?
And if so would he be a Lentboy?
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I’m gobsmacked.I genuinely didn’t know that anyone took it seriously.I thought it was something that people used to scare their children…” You’ll turn into a Catholic and have to observe Lent if you don’t stop being naughty and so as you’re told”
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Morning Dick,
Seems a lot if trouble to go to for a easter egg?
They should bring in a fasttrack version,
Where they just kick each other in the balls
And theyre done.
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Morning,Mis…..The whole thing sounds like a bad joke that got out of hand to me.
I suspect I won’t be joining Mr.Polly in his sacrifice any time soon.
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Aye not much of a selling point is it?
Although the message ‘be cruel to yourself ‘ is good,
Id extend it to others.
Maybe prank Wednesday?
Where the devout loosen handrails for elderly relatives?
Or put chili pepper in little kids packed lunches?
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Don’t think you’ll get much sympathy here Mr Polly, except, perhaps from Miles. If you want to be ordered about by some witch doctor that’s your problem. Personally, I’d stick his Easter eggs up his Papist arse.
Long live Oliver Cromwell!
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Miles has probably given up learning to play the piano with his penis for Lent.
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I gave up Lent for Lent.
More red meat to go around for 40 whole days.
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Oh hello, spotted the pearl in the pigshite,…alms giving!!!
I think this means putting your hand in your pocket?
Something mr Polly as a scot will really struggle with religiously.
How do you qualify for these alms?
How much is it?
And can you get it backdated?
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If there’s free money going about whitey is at the back of the queue. Know your place Miserable. You cheeky cunt.
15
It’s no wonder that the Irish are barmpot’s.
Catholicism is weird.
Irish Catholicism is fucking mental.
Give me Heathenism, any day.
It’s Woden for me.
Baby Jesus can Fuck Off.
Morning, all.
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Morning Jack.
You called?
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Odin@
😀👍
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My mother (Anglo-Scot) once said that the Scots were more fucked up about religion than the Oirish. Remember Lord Mackay of Clashfearn (Tory Lord High Executioner, or summat) getting excommunicated from the “Wee Frees” because, as an old man, he attended a friend’s funeral. Problem? It was in a RC church. As soon as Mackay crossed over the threshold on the day of the funeral, Bingo! Instant excommunication.
At university, I had a Scottish Arabic language lecturer, she had converted to eyeslime… I rest my case.
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I’m a Catholic but I totally ignore lent. As I totally ignore everything else about my religion.
The Catholic Church went to pot when they abandoned the beautiful old Latin Mass and started doing mass in the vulgate. May as well be the CofE now.
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May as well think for oneself even ?
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Indeed. Always the best course. Don’t let anyone else think for you.
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MCMM,
What should I think?
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MNC – “Your heart is free. Have the courage to follow it.”
Cod philosophy quote from Braveshit. But true, nevertheless.
Although I prefer – “The trouble with Scotland is that it’s full of Scots.” – King Edward I in Braveshit.
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The best scene was the king throwing his son’s lover out of the fucking window.
“It’s raining men…”
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Good morning
That’s very naughty argue but very true. The problem is we have s natural urge to be unhappy and not enjoy ourselves, that’s why we haven’t told Greta and all the other doomsayers to go fuck themselves.
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Ho ho, religious people…you’re all utterly mental!
It’s 2022 for crying out loud, not 1750. How anyone can believe in this dangerous, pathetic nonsense is beyond me.
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“Come on, Ted. Sure it’s no more peculiar than all that stuff we learned in the seminary, you know, Heaven and Hell and everlasting life and all that type of thing. You’re not meant to take it seriously, Ted!”
Pope Dougal I
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Lent – the “ giving things up competition “ – Pope Ted I.
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The thing is nobody knows what Lent is these days and nobody gives a fuck anyway. But everybody knows what Diwali is and Ramadamadingdong. Kids are told about it in school and they make a big fucking deal about it.
If I was a Biblebasher I’d be pissed off about that. But it’s no good complaining to Justin about it. He’s practically an Imam himself, the cunt.
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I for one found this very educational.
There was a chap at work who used to give biscuits up for a time then get back after them like an Ethiopian AIDS victim.
I thought he was very seriosly mentally ill or possibly on a diet.
Turns out he was a Lent.
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“When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show others they are fasting. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full.” Matthew 6:16.
https://biblehub.com/matthew/6-16.htm
Religion will be classified as mental illness in the new Empire of East Anglia.
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Fucking Yanks. I’ve just noticed the spelling error in my cut-and-paste. I will send a stern letter to Joe Biden . Maybe his carer can read it to him after he has his potty emptied.
Freedom for East Anglia.
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Do you mean dishevelled Emperor? There’s a lot of words we spell with a double L where the Yanks use the singular. “Travelers” being a classic example. We spell it “travellers”, meaning dirty, thieving pikey bastards.
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Id be wary of men in dresses asking you to give up anything.
I dont believe in going without.
And I bet Jesus didnt either.
Imagine his mam(Mary) being asked to give up donkey rides?
Shed tell you to fuck off!
She went everywhere by donkey.
Donkeys were the biblical equivalent of a disability scooter.
Or asking the romans to give up nails for lent,
Sellotaping Jesus to the cross.
Only thing im ducking for Lent is charity.
I bought some Easter eggs for Ukrainian kids,
Im about halfway through them.
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I think he’s referring to the word “somber”. We spell it “sombre”.
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Sombrero in Spanish.
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That applies to all virtue signallers.
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I knew a chap who’s wife was a devout Catholic-she, thus he by proxy, abstained from eating red meat, chocolate, alcohol and sex, for the duration.
Probably why he was shagging around😂
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I wonder if Boris and Carrie will give up being cunts, for lent?
🤔
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Fat fucking chance, CG!
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Wandering off topic (apologies), related to one of yesterday’s nominations:
I read this morning that IsaCS favourite luvvie, Hugh Cunt, is probably going to be the next Doctor Who😂
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Oh erm, how jolly nice to see daleks in Notting hill,
How progressive!
Super .
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Student Grant as Dr Who? Nah…I just can’t see it. Mind you he’s got all the right wokie BBC qualifications. How about John Bercow? A Time Lord is better than no Lord at all.
The cunt.
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He’d probably be better than Jodi Whitticunt. At least he’s a man – just.
Get ready for exciting new Dr Who episodes featuring Brexiteer Daleks. “ EUxterminate”.
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In Star Trek Picard, the Klingons represent Brexiteers and Trump supporters.
Another reason to not watch it…
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It’s a good idea. Then, when it utterly bombs, his only option will be suicide…🤞
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Stuttering at the Daleks – that’ll work!
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Invented shit by religions to make the believers feel bad, what the fuck did people do before religion.
The fuckers reel you in then kick you in the balls (or cunt)
I am giving up caring about our Islamic brothers 😂😂😂
11
Shouldn’t this years message be ‘armsgiving’ as opposed to alms?
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Let’s hope this fucking lot stay in their ghettos for longer than Ramadan…
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/av/uk-england-derbyshire-60697916
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Muslim hikers? I don’t like the sound of that. A load of Peacefuls going around with backpacks on? I hope they don’t go hiking round Sir Fiddler’s manor. It could get nasty.
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😡😡🤬
Ffs.👎
I saw the rucksacks and assumed they were just suicide bombers.
This is worse!!
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MNC@ my missus informs me there’s a new restaurant opening near us where the staff and customers can be as rude as to each other as they like.
Sounds fucking marvelous.
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I thought of this ages ago after watching Fawlty towers Infidel.
How refreshing itd be!
Id love it, trading insults with the staff and other customers.
“That your wife? Should we get out the big plates?”
“Hello sir, any point me setting the table or should I just put a trough on the floor?”
Great night out.
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It’d be great working there.
“Hello Sir. Is this your wife? She’s a dead ringer for Demis Roussos.”
“The house wine and the special? If only you had studied harder at school, you could’ve avoided ordering the tramp’s dinner. Maybe I’m being harsh, you’re obviously a complete retard and can’t help it.”
“It’s so nice to have some sooties in our establishment. Would you like the missionary in the pot or the explorer on the skewer? And we’ve got excellent CCTV so don’t steal anything.”
“We don’t get many peacefuls in here. Excuse me while I put my bomb disposal suit on. You will be served by our bomb disposal robot tonight. And yes, I’m spraying all this air freshener because you fucking stink. Obviously you want the curry, I don’t need to take your order.”
“We don’t get many homosexualists in here, but it’s lovely to have you. I presume you want the frozen jumbo sausage and a prize winning frozen marrow? Maybe the small rodent starter? Please remain in this glassed off area we don’t want to catch the AIDS off you filthy degenerates. Bon appetit!”
To be honest, I can see them being sued by some chippy opportunist within weeks.
9
There used to be a Chinese restaurant in London’s Chinatown called Wong Keys which was famous for the rudeness of its waiters. It was an attraction in its own right and customers used to go there just to be insulted by the waiters and receive notoriously bad service.
It’s still there but the bad service has been replaced with good service. A bitter disappointment.
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Wong Kei was fucking brilliant. I went there a few times in the late 80’s, the abuse was legendary, but the food was great.
4
Let’s hope they take an ill-advised shortcut across a cornfield during harvest time.
Despite not being a country fellow, I can only imagine the crimson mess were one of these cunts to disappear into the blades of a combine harvester.
Stay in your child abusing, cousin-marrying enclaves, you dirty brown rats.
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I think it’s a wonderful idea Thomas.
I shall be setting up the Lake District Muslim walking society.
I will take a bus load at a time over striding edge, in a force 10 gale😀👍
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Lent? Is that the one where they sell Cadburys cream eggs so we can celebrate the Christians stealing the Pagan fertility festival of Oestre?
I get confused – is it “Christmas” – where we celebrate the birth of Santa by getting pissed around people we hate?
Is it the one where the worst examples of humankind go through the charade of sitting in a church for two hours on a Sunday listening to someone dressed as a penguin talks some shit who then demands a fiver at the end?
Or is it the one where god floods the world and commits genocide?
Is there a financial angle behind it by any chance?
Greedy opportunists carpetbaggers cashing in on the fear of death.
“The house of god has no walls” – but check out the house your local vicar lives in..
Well, can’t stop – got some church doors to paint! 😀👍🏃♂️
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Lent is mong the many leftover pagan rituals practiced by Catholics. It has absolutely no Biblical support whatsoever- like most of what Catholics practice.
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Modded? Fucked if I know why.
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Fuck all god bothering its all bollox
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I am only giving up one thing for Lent, and that’s abstinence.
Any transgressions will be d/w by Juicy Lucy Lane and her cane, or the luscious Penny M.
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