A cunting please for Dave, that’s the TV channel, not any random “Dave” you might happen to know.
Everything about this channel is irritating in the extreme, not least the mock- matey name of the channel as if “Dave” is someone you know from the pub.
I rather enjoy the old Top Gear with Clarkson and also Red Dwarf, so I don’t mind the endless repeats of those, although there are only so many times that you can watch them. Outside of original Top Gear and Red Dwarf, everything on Dave is depressing, woke, liberal garbage. Endless repeats of Mock the Week, Have I got News for You, the hopelessly smug QI and the tedious Dave Gorman’s “ Modern Life is Goodish”.
As if this were not enough, Dave has commissioned “original comedy” which is anything but original as it usually features the same old, tired woke twats – Dara O’Brainless, Jon Richardson and his annoying, squeaky wife, Ramesh Rogawhatsit and his annoying mum and extended family, the unspeakable Nish Kumar, Kathleen Ryan and that man with the huge teeth.
Fill this in with endless repeats of brain dead American “reality” shows and annoying sponsorship jingles for “ Motor Easy.Com”, which eat into your brain all day, and you’ve got the formula.
I would rather spend my day reclining in a puddle of vomit.
https://dave.uktv.co.uk/shows/
Nominated by: MMCM
Most of what the shit-pump chugs out is exactly that – shit. I stopped paying for TV quite awhile ago & ended up having a set-to with those cunts at Sky to get the money they owed me.
If it’s not free, they can fuck off & that includes the Marxist Broadcasting Corporation’s tax as well, cunts.
12
Cant remember ever watching anything on ‘Dave’ channel?
Agree its a shite name.
I used to like the old Red Dwarf,
Watched it in the mid 90s,
Even read the books.
Couldn’t name a single show on Dave,
Which hints that it’s fuckin rubbish.
1
Cant remember ever watching anything on ‘Dave’ channel?
Agree its a shite name.
I used to like the old Red Dw@rf,
Watched it in the mid 90s,
Even read the books.
Couldn’t name a single show on Dave,
Which hints that it’s fuckin rubbish.
7
I do very much enjoy Redbull Soapbox Racing which might be on this channel.
I never watch anything else as it’s inhabited by smug deeply unfunny cunts and very suspicious foreigners,especially those filthy p. Akis.
Good cunting and Good morning.
16
I have the same problem with Gold, or the Only Fools and Horses channel, as I call it.
7
I’ve often wondered how they came up with the ridiculous name “Dave”. I reckon there was some meeting of trendy, right on executive types and one of them suggested it as a way of taking the piss out of the proles they despise so much. The other right ons thought it was hilarious and went along with it amid much self congratulatory back slapping. I bet they get that smug, warm feeling so familiar to remoaners and other wokies every time it pops up on the screen. Not that they would watch it when you can indulge yourself in the glories of the Anti British Broadcasting Corporation.
8
I read, quite a few years ago, that the term ‘Dave’ gained currency as a way of describing something commonplace or everyday. Like having a full English breakfast, I have heard being described as ‘ going for a Dave’. What a load of bollocks! It sounds like the Islington sets answer to gangsta speak like ‘sick’ or ‘bare’.
7
Morning Freddie, nothing as conspiratorial as that, Dave was named after Dave Lister from Red Dwarf. The channel started well and is now just a pile of old cunt like so many others, life on the woke plantation.
5
Good Morning Freddie,
Are you aware that Dave is owned by the BBC?
2
Why is it commercial then?
I remember looking at it a few times when it first launched, about 2005 I think.
It had (maybe still does) the irritating feature of inserting commercial breaks right in the middle of someone’s sentence, then resuming at the exact same point. I didn’t bother watching it for long and haven’t bothered since.
0
How on Earth do people like Jon Richardson end up as a comedian? Where is the humour? All he does is continually make quips about cleanliness in n effeminate, high-pitched, northern accent. “Ahh luv doin’ the ironin’ me. Ah loook forward to i”, me.” Tedious, northern fuckwit.
11
I read somewhere that “Dave” was chosen because Trigger from ONAH used to call Rodney “Dave” and it became a household name.
Could be bollocks of course. Not that it matters because I rarely bother with Dave, Freeview or terrestrial TV these days. Better fun to be had behind a good vpn and a few streaming sites
8
Like Pornhub👍
17
Part of the UKTV group, which is owned by our good friends the BBC. That’ll help explain its lefty ‘comedy’ output. At least it’s a freeview channel, unlike Gold, which is subscription only. Which means that you effectively pay for something like OFandH when you’d already paid for its production years previously via the telly tax.
8
I’m ashamed to say I used to watch Storage Hunters on there
6
hm, yes. Brandy used to give me the horn.
9
In the early days of the internet, people would amuse themselves for hours watching a static camera at the coffee machine in a Cambridge University. If only Boggs TV enterprises were going in those days. We would have had a static camera 24 hours a day on Angela Rayner’s open legs to see her clients of the day. We only take a very small commission from each of her gentlemen, because of course, her fee of 75 pence is a big strain on an old age pensioners budget. As moving pictures became possible we were planning “Angie’s Clap Clinic” as one of the first reality shows
11
I laughed out so loud when I read this WC that the missus said “what’s so funny this early in the morning”.
“Nothing” I said, “continue as you were, washing the dishes”.
9
That’s kind of you to say, CM. Of course, before these entertainments get through the costing process, we had to make pilots, and our earliest foray was to keep a static camera on AnalEase Dodd’s washing machine. Alas, this was not a success – the machine was used so infrequently chez Dodd’s that the porthole on the front of her machine became so cob-webby that nothing could be seen through the camera.
8
The idiotbox spends most of it’s time these days parked on Talking Pictures, with excursions onto other channels like Horror for the cheesy Science Fiction, whatever channel the old B&W detective stuff is on, and let’s not forget Blaze for Ufonuttery etc.
Dave, despite having the old Red Dwarf, never gets a visit thanks to the other shite it hosts, as I’ve no desire to see, even by accident, any of the deeply unfunny and obnoxious gurning tosspots you mentioned (and others you didn’t) that infest that channel.
Well cunted.
4
I always thought Dave was some cheeky chappy, slapstick pile of absolute dog shite – most of it regurgitated shit the BBC either didn’t want, or has already rinsed.
5
It’s just the same old shite going round and round and it’s also infested with commercials and promotions. The new episodes of Red Dwarf were great though…it was so nice to see new material even if it wasn’t a patch on the older stuff.
It’s totally shite and the name Dave is just the way the people who own it rub the noses of the people who watch it in the shit. You can just imagine them brainstorming to come up with that name while sniffing pearl up their snozzles.
All these worthless channel show their pitiful commercials at the same time too so I don’t watch any of them and prefer Jewtube or Netprix.
1
I hope people will end up being that complimentary about the latest Futurama reboot. I have no idea why they felt the need to bring it back.
1
Good nom !
Every unfunny individual named in it is a despicable cunt.
Any shy young lad who doesn’t know what an actual cunt looks like and isn’t internet- savvy would do well to check out that gobby shit Katherine Ryan’s face as a starting point.
9
I hate that plastic face cunt she should fuck off back to Canada. Her remoaning rhetoric boiled my piss because it had fuck all to do with her. Plus I don’t get to see the ginger on the wowcha adds anymore, double cunt bitch.
4
She has cracking Bristols mind.
1
Television channels are simply one channel of shit on different sites.! It is simply a rip off. Read a fucking book !
9
Excellent advice. I prefer books to the cunt- tube.
5
“Dave” – Latin for “faeces” (probably).
The amount of things which appear on the idiot lantern without me putting a hammer through the screen have dwindled to pretty much zero.
Like their viewing figures.
Ah well, best get these flagstones laid before it hammers it down – hard physical work gets rid of some of my excess energy and pays well too – happy days!
6
I don’t want to sound like the sort of know it all cunt that so frequently appears on QI, Vern, but the Latin for faeces is…. faeces.
I’ll get my coat.
5
MMCM@ – I am fluent in two languages – “English” and “Bad” 😀
Currently in mourning after having the panzer in for its MOT yesterday – 8 quid in parts, 8 fkin quid!
It’s an outrage..
4
Lots of things are turning into Dave. Same old shit everyday. Full of repeats and monotony, all the usual unfunny faces, lots of bollocks and people turning off to spend time elsewhere.
4
The Bravo channel used to be much better. More blokey, good after the pub TV.
8
I used to love Italian Stripping Housewives, dubbed into comedy English.
5
There used to be a channel called Men and Motors, used to get the Sweeney on there.
4
& Dave Ja Vu for those who are sad enough to watch it all again.
7
I am eternally thankful that TV didn’t get woke right after it was invented. Fortunately there are several decades worth of TV shows and movies to watch that came out before 2018. There is a lot of free TV to be had too.
I just have to mute and turn away from the advertisements as they are woke as fuck now.
4
It’s as if all there new commissioned comedy on Dave is a way to give loads of money to every shit, woke, unfunny, remoaning none comedian.
5
Their
2
The channel should be called Div…
2
The funniest thing about Dave is how the comedians on BBC one/two used to openly mock it and its viewers because they knew the programme would be repeated on there.
Some of the better ones were;
‘If you’re watching this on Dave, we’re probably all dead’.
‘If you’re watching this on Dave, you’re a loser and your wife has probably left you’.
1