No, not this devil. This devil’s alright.
The Devil is a cunt, isn’t he.
What a lightweight Beelzebub must be. Apparently, he had his arse kicked by a Nigerian clergynan. Yes, Chukwuemeka Ohanaemere popularly known as Prophet Odumeje claims he won an international spiritual Wrestling match against Satan then displayed his championship belt. Of course.
Previously, this ‘pastor’ has claimed to have resurrected a dead woman by moving around her then…erm… laying on top of her.
Who in their right minds still believes in angels and devils? Does anybody base their life around characters from fairy tales like Voldemort or the Grim Reaper?
Nigerians, it sems. Not at all loud, ill-mannered, scamming conmen. Some of them are devil-dodgers.
“Commot man, if na MO-ney I wan tek, I for go aks you for de charatee doNAYtions. Anyways, YEE can buy ma VI-dee-O on-line and if you don laike, I REE-fund yous straight, cha. All you need do is provide your name, address, date of birth, bank details and mother’s maiden name.”
😈
Nominated by Captain Magnanimous
Hmmm, ‘Face Of Malawi’ indeed.
I can’t see a single white face in any of the photos.
Racists.
17
I believe him, he looks like a bloke you could trust with your 14 year old daughter suffering from a touch of flu.
Who would have made the championship belt if it wasn’t real, surely it would have been a virtual belt.
When is the rematch, there has to be a rematch clause, there is no way the devil will take this lying down, but he says he went in alone, didn’t he have god on his side, there may be a legal challenge from the devil.
9
“Won a wrestling match, eh?!
Angels and devils are more believeable than wrestling, which is the second gayest pastime ever invented, although years ago, it used to be hilarious:
https://youtu.be/zEZBx_gY92k
5
That cunt Big Daddy lived a few yards from me and one day I had to stop for a psychiatric patient in the road. He pulled up on my right in his left hand drive car so we were inches from each other. Started screaming at me for having to stop.
I tell ya, if it wasn’t for the fact I had my slippers on, I’d have got out and twatted him!
16
Did you shout:
“Fuck off Shirley, ya fat cunt!”?
👍
14
Oh fuckertyfuck I’ve got that wrong, it was Giant Haystacks. It’s an age thing.
10
Mate, I wouldn’t have tackled him.
7
GH was 6 ft 11 and 48 stone. Have a go back?
Fuck that. I’d have given him a nosh and made his tea afterwards if he’d asked.
8
If I was the devil I would have had my pitchfork up his ricker quicker than winking. Delusional twat.
11
Its not a pitchfork, they have 4 prongs. It would be a trident. Common mistake.
5
My bad, Lord of terror. It’s a west country thing.
3
Wicker man thing?
3
Lord Of Terror. Someones been watching my YouTube, methinks.
1
Average IQ 68. Voodoo, witchcraft and mutu slayings practised to this day. Say no more – the fact anyone believes this charlatan shows the stupidity of the audience just as much as the sly greed of the “Pastor”.
I think the best way to secure the future of humankind is simply to bomb African and Arab Countries out of existence. (Perchance a bit of “Oven work” from Unkle Terry to deal with any survivors!😀👍)
Heaven and hell are on this earthly realm, no other.
Just my opinion of course.
15
I’ll bet he takes a strong line on dose dat eat da poo-poo. Maybe he’s not all bad?
8
Compared to Abaddon, the angel of death, Satan is a nancy boy.
7
Anyone who takes this midget seriously is an even bigger cunt.
Having said that, it is Nigeria we’re talking about. The land of the helicopter crash widow, who wants to smuggle £10000000 out of the country if you give her your bank account details.
12
No sympathy for the devil.
He challenged God and got kicked out of heaven.
Then made it his mission to twart God forever.
Spiteful.
Sort of like Dominic Cummings but less speccy pee do looking.
More angelic,
Like Cliff Richard
But not with a neck like a tortoises ballbag.
12
Mnc@ – And Monkey got booted out of heaven just for nicking peaches!
Mind you, that was Buddha not God, and she was a Woman so probably a bit premenstrual or summat!
7
Is Buddha a bird?
Thought Buddha was a fat bloke!!
Though he had moobs never realised they were real titties.
Big fat lazy chink.
I liked monkey though!
Friday chippey teas aren’t the same without his antics.
5
It’s a line I’ve used before…
I have the body of a god. Shame it’s Buddah.
5
Buddha is meant to be a veggie. Fuck offfff!! You don’t get to the size of Dianne abbot by snacking on fucking tofu?!
4
Cuntybollocks. That joke doesnt work. Buddha isnt a god
2
MNC- More like Cliff Richard?? Are you suggesting that Satan wears a colostomy bag?
3
Hark at the clip of it man. Couldn’t wrestle his slipper back off a labrador puppy, cunt.
Satan would have tea bagged his face so hard his ancestors would have fallen out of their trees. Because of course he is real, otherwise how would Kenny have stopped Sadam?
You bastards!
Why aye
10
How bored does one have to be to read watch face of Malawi ?
Daft cunts lot of them
11
Of course anything he claims is indeed true. He’s black, therefore beyond criticism from us mortal honkies.
11
I shagged Monica Belluci yesterday, just me and her there of course. Got the belt to prove it too. May even do her again later. Fucking easy this.
17
Sorry Infidel-Monica was gainfully employed carrying out a major service on the Flux Capacitor of my De-lorean, yesterday.
I fear you have been scammed, by Nigerians…
14
No way he beat Satan🤟🔥
Cheating cunt .
Hes losing the fight against male pattern baldness
So doubt he could beat the Father of Darkness.
Nigerians are all lying cunts .
Winner?
….Lucifer.
🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
15
Mnc@ – Apologies, couldn’t post on your Buddha comment – in Monkey Buddha was a Woman, not the normal cheerful chubby chap – but having said that I could never work out if Tripitaka was Male or Female!
And, according to a Texan religious correspondent the “Super Devil” is even harder that the normal devil!
5
I recall a TV show showing the Buddhist version of hell.
It made the version we’re told about look like an all inclusive holiday in the Algarve. I think they had the residents boiling in excrement and vomit all day to be dragged out and skinned alive, covered in salt, set of fire and then back into the diarrhea and puke pit.
And that was on the good days.
5
I think,
According to Viz, they were allowed a teabreak every so often..
6
That’s the Torah.
5
She’s got great pair tho.
3
If you wish to speak with Satan, please send all correspondence to,
His Holiness,
Apostolic Palace,
00120 Vatican City
11
Heretic!
3
Chunky is incorrect. Send all correspondence to:
Anthony Blair
666 Threadneedle Street
Lonstabistan
Englandshire
Europe
L1C UNT
15
God doesnt exist, its all made up. Oh no, I’m a blasphemer. Am I fuck.
5
As a young man, I decided it would be nice to have a large “community” fish tank in my home office/music room.
I spent fortunes over several years, setting up a wonderful tank, shoals of brightly coloured fish. Very therapeutic to sit on a beanbag, strumming a 12string guitar with the lights off, watching the fish….
Then the lad at the tropical fish place suggested I buy a pair of Lake Malawi Cicclids.
It was a disaster-they destroyed the balance and harmony of the tank😢
So I put them in a second, much smaller tank I kept. They bred like, well like Nigerians. Then they killed their own young.
An allegorical prophecy, right there…..
🧐
17
You were a hippy, CG?
Or was ” strumming your guitar” a euphemism?
9
Ha ha 😂👍
6
Kendodd Nagasaki would sort the dopey cunt out, but at least he’s more intelligent than his audience.
9
Chuck Norris beat the devil with just a stare. God created the earth afther Chuck Norris created god! The universe started when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked it. The devid didnt fall from heaven, Chuck Norris threw him. Most people sell their soul to the devil, the devil tried to sell his to Chuck Norris but he refused.
6
Ken Dodd?
2
Admin:
Ghost Hunters, Hippies & now the Devil-all in one day?
Is there something special about 12/02/22?
Hold on, that adds up to “9”😱
10
12 2 and 22 is 36 too. 36 = 3 6 = 3 6’s. Also 36 is 6×6. All I can say is: DCLXVI.
3
FYI DCLXVI is 666 in roman numerals.
2
I quite like the Devil.
He chats to me, through Alexa.
But only when I haven’t put my special hat on.
I also believe in Unicorn, that shit rainbows.
10
THE Devil does not exist. Its a judeo-christian construct.
8
Jude and Christian are a lovely couple,
They attend my dinner parties occasionally.
Didn’t know he was in construction though?!!
Theyre off the list.
What will Crispin and Cressida think if they find out hes a bloody navvie?!!!
10
Of course it is Diablo.
How else could they control the serfs?
1
Pagan was a much better religion in England.
5
Unicorns.
4
Daemons and Angels do exist. But they are not minions of the Devil or messengers of God. That is christianity taking over. Daemons and Angels dont live in ‘heaven’ or ‘hell’ either, they are on different planes of existence.
3
Also angels can be bad, and daemons can be good.
2
What about cherubs?
Joe Biden sets traps for em.
12
Benny Hill was always described as a “Cheeky Cherub”.
Was he evil?
Say it ain’t true!
😢
8
Naw, just mischievous.
A west country sex pest.
A benign Fred West .
8
Phew!
No more heroes and all that….
5
I said CAN be bad, not ARE bad. There are also 9 types of angel: Seraphim, Cherubim, Archangels, Thrones, Dominations, Virtues, Principalities, Powers and Common Angels. Most christians dont know that.
4
Well I believe Prophet Odumeje, incidentally he also works for the Nigerian Lotto with a side line in some interesting time share opportunities for UK pensioners.
9
That doesn’t surprise me, LL.
I’m wondering which is the act, the apparent childlike naivety, or the ruthless criminal?
What category does the Prophet fall into. I know where his followers are, but did he have a very vivid dream, or is he a scammer?
The belt suggests the latter.
4
As a good Yorkshireman JP, I suspect he may have better luck parting the Red Sea or feeding the five thousand than getting hold of your hard earned, Vernon too.
8
Damned right LL!
My mother raised no fools.
We’re all well set, have retired early, the bliss!
Apart from my elder brother. I think they modelled “The Devil On Wall Street” on him.
He would deffo invest in the automatic fart skinning machine, he been doing it manually for years.
6
African god botherer? Fought Satan and won? That story is as convincing as a Nigerian bank account transfer, short rope and a long drop for that swindling spook
8
I like the blek cunt with the hat made from a leopard.
I bet he wrestled a succubus for it.
9
Katy Price is the earthly embodiment of a “Succubus”😉
10
Now, now CG.
We’re not cunting KP, she has her own special hell coming shortly.
Let’s not throw her in at random, just for shits and giggles, eh?
5
A Succubus is more attractive.
1
Dont diss the Succubi, my friend. Those sexy ladies have great power. Of course, sexy, is based on perception. Pointed ears, sharp teeth and horns…
1
The leopard hat is great!
But obviously not lined with tin foil.
Actually, you can see how these hat wearing dudes are thinking about how they can exploit this delusional twat.
9
Off T.
I see the authorities in NZ are playing Barry Manifold songs to disperse the protesters outside parliament. You can’t make this shit up.
8
Cruel and unusual torture.
Each and every one should sue!
4
What? I would stay forever just to hear the dulcet tones of the great Manilow!
Some of you blaggards and scoundrels have no musical taste! 😀
4
If Jacinda Trans Crazyhorse was on vocals they’d fuck off alright.
5
Crazy horse 👍👍👍
4
“Dyslexic devil worshipper sell soul to Santa”..
5
Unemployed dyslexic gets a jib. Dyslexic pimp buys warehouse. Dyslexic priest worships dog.
4
Tubilah Dog.
2
Usual Nigerian bullshit con man, trying to con his audience with bad juju, lying cunt.
They believe this clown because they are superstitious as fuck, so the polorised locals either lie or be lied to on all levels and suck it up, even the educated ones.
3
What a fucked up world we are in. The sooner the sun goes supernova the better….⭐️
4
Unless we get our shit together and dump religion, privilege, royalty, lords Ladies. Clamp down on drug dealers. Bent politicians, cunts in general, basically you, me and every other fucker just wants decent food, jobs, pay, a good future for our kids/ grandkids. But some cunts want everything and this is were it all goes tits….perhaps crime / corruption needs punishing in the extreme…🎚
5
It doesnt matter anyway, the world is fucked. Climate change will fuck us worse than everything thats gone before.
1
Hello everybody, would like to point out that the dear prophet is the real thing. He has risen the dead and wrestled with the Lord of darkness and won I tell you, square and fair.
To prove this great truth and to prove my veracity in this sacred work I will deposit $10,000 into your personal bank account. In order for this transfer of monies to be affected I will request from you the sort code and account number of your bank, your full address, the maiden names of your closest ten lady relations, your hair colour and blood group, your driving licence number, your television licence number and finally your co op club card number.. once these are in my possession the money will be put in your account. I do this great action to support the blessed prophet and spread his love. Thank you great friend.
5
…and I am a Nigerian General with 30 million pounds to put in your bank account. Actually, I am Diablo, Lord Of Terror.
3