Ghost Hunters

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Cunt Ghost Hunters United States.

Sick of these fuckin money grabbers, influencing their fucked up, believe everything they are told, everything is a fucking conspiracy, 70% of us believe in ghosts, countrymen/women.

I fuckin hate the dead being used by these total fuckwits. My dear departed relatives and friends are not “stuck” between life and death, condemned to walk the earth as a “white” or “grey” shadow figure. My dear departed were not buried in a pet semetary, on ancient Indian burial grounds, axe murdered, abused etc. Let the fucking dead rest in peace you fuckin blood sucking cunts!!!

Nominated by Cuntybaws

96 thoughts on “Ghost Hunters”

      • This expression is a quote from Jesus in the Bible. It appears in the gospels of Matthew and Luke 9:60 when one of Jesus’s disciples asks if he can go bury his father. … He should let the dead bury the dead and the disciple should continue to perform his spiritual duties.

  2. “Ooh did you hear that”. “That chair just moved all by itself”. “The voice in the white noise is the spirit telling us their name”.

    Yada yada. Blah, blah, hairy arseholes.

    As convincing as Caitlin Jenner.

    What a load of fucking old shit.

    • And one cunt says ‘that sounded like kill them’ and then they all agree, and they loop the track about 5 times with subtitles of ”kill them” to try to convince US thats what it is.

  4. Can you nominate people to become ghosts that these cunts can “hunt”?

    I have quite the list of persons who shouldn’t see another day on earth.

    Have a fine weekend all here.

  6. These ghost hunting shows really are crap. There are plenty of references online which document how some of the “evidence” is staged for dramatic effect. The shows where they setup all their equipment, then turn off all the lights are truly pathetic. Why would the lights being off make any difference? Of course it doesn’t.

    A bit of dust floating past a night vision camera = a spirit orb.
    An old house making creaking noises after a hot day = ghost footfalls.
    A cold draft in a basement = manifestation of a poltergeist
    You know the list.

    There’s a channel over here in Yankland which has a ton of these shows, each with their own little twist on a consistent theme. A team of cunts show up at “haunted” locations (abandoned hospital/asylum/etc.), set up the equipment, record a bunch of nothing at all, analyse their “evidence” and conclude it’s haunted. Funny how the chair scraping across the floor noise always comes from a room which didn’t have a camera in it. Then there’s the noise phenomenon bollocks where they think some static and white noise is a ghost saying “help me” or “get out”. FFS!

    I’d love to have my own show where my team would go to the same locations where ghosty stuff has been “proven” by previous shows and setup enough cameras and sound recording devices whereby at least 3 pieces of equipment cover every square inch of the place. You know, like cameras watching other cameras and such like. Then have the place sealed off with security and capture/view the goings on remotely from another location. Keep this up for however long to show, in reality, nothing happens thus proving the other shows are absolutely fucking fake crap.

    Funny how you never see that kind of show on telly. Too much money to be made from the fake stuff I suppose.

  7. People want to believe in ghosts – like they want to believe in climate change, that mask wearing will save them from death, or a “safe” car will let you drive lime an idiot and survive a crash.

  8. Gggggggghosts?!!!!

    These shows are mostly bollocks like,
    More likely for a yank ghost to be in Macdonalds or a gunshop than a civil war battlefield.
    You want ghosts you come to the UK.
    Best ghosts in the world.
    🇬🇧

    I do believe in ghosts but ive never saw one.
    Timid aren’t they?
    Probably embarrassed.

  11. Jade Goody has signed a contract to appear on series 7 of Most haunted.

  12. I don’t know about ghosts…if anyone deserves to be haunted it’s probably me.

    I remember being about 12 years old and hiding in a hay-loft to shoot pigeons that were landing in the stack-yard. I saw an Uncle wandering about…he was a nasty Cunt who had actually been shot at Dunkirk …I decided to stir the old Cunt up a bit and let off a few shots from a semi-automatic .22 rifle at the telegraph-pole that he was walking past…Fuck Me…I’ve never seen anyone move as quick (briefly) in my life….he bolted through a doorway and then utter silence….realising that I may have gone a bit far,I shouldered arms and sloped off…one of the farm lads found him later that day babbling about being “sniped” and he took to his bed for a couple of days afore giving up the ghost.

    He’s never returned to tell me what a Cunt I am.

    • Lord F: did you inherit more wealth or vast tracks of land, from your Uncle?
      If so, good shooting Sir. Bloody good shooting👏

  14. As that soon-to-be-cancelled scallywag Jimmy Carr observed, “There’s an easy way to tell if your house is haunted or not: it isn’t. Grow up.”

  15. Incredulous nonsense for gullible Americans – on a par with Astrology, Alastair Crowley’s “Magik”, water divining and every other crack-pot theory used to separate fools from their money.

    I have an open mind to life after death and I am certainly not dismissive. But this nonsense is a patent fraud.

    • Water diving works.
      100% for me.
      Two coat hangers bent into shape and u will find underground water pipes and other sources 👍

  16. What would you expect in a country that has 77% of the population believing in angels.
    Of course we have our fair share.

    I think they should make the show with white sheets over their heads, maybe liven things up a little.

    • Joe Biden could take on the role. With his white hair and pasty skin he could easily be taken for a phantom that likes to sniff around young girls. Ghost Cunters, or whatever they are called, investigate a peter-file ghost in the White House.

    • Men with sheets over their heads? And how about a burning cross too, that will get rid of the spooks

  17. YouTube has loads of these paranormal/ghost hunter channels, one of the biggest of which is something called “Sam and Colby”.

    They’re two American geezers in their early 20s, travelling the US and Western Europe on the hunt for spooky ghosts in haunted places. It wouldn’t be quite so bad but they don’t actually do much hunting. Instead they just sit on their arses and let all their electronic gadgets do the work.

    As soon as one of those devices go off, they shout “What the fuck was that!!??” But they rarely bother to check it out.

    One particularly annoying gadget is something called a spirit box, which when switched on sounds like white noise from a untuned radio. According to Bill and Ben it is supposed to a device for the undead to communicate with them. However, whatever these ghosts supposedly say it is immediately interpreted as something relavent.

    For example, the spirit box might come out with “Meander”. But the ghost hunters will turn that around and say “Do you mean Murder?” Or “Bread” will be turned around to “Do you mean Dead?”

    It’s all down to auto suggestion, especially when they see an odd shadow down the hall. It could be just a random shadow that just happens to have a vaguely human form. And that’s enough for them to scream at the viewers “It’s a GHOST, dudes!!”

    Fact is they have over 6 million YT followers, and are now extremely wealthy. Good luck to them and their enterprising ideas, but I’m still not convinced by any of it.

    • Beats “working” for a living, techno.
      Perhaps we should combine our skills:
      You can be the quiet, science boffin-get busy with those gadgets Egon.
      Miles plastic, the enthusiastic, innocent Ray.
      I will model myself on Bill Murray-taking the piss and shagging the (attractive) female clients.

      Who ya gonna call?
      Ghost-counters!!
      (Cheers MMCM👍)

    • I’ve always wanted to go to these ‘haunted’ places, but with minimal gadgets. Just me, another person, two cameras and a detuned radio. No stupid ghostfinding gadgets, and no saying ‘is there anybody here who wishes to communicate’ or whatever. Just stand and record.

  18. Those TV shows are aimed at teenage girls and soy-boys 😉

    I once met a young woman of Polish heritage, who could see spirits.
    I was helping someone clear an area of woodland, in her large garden. Logging up dead trees

    This woman came to the low boundary fence of her large property, which bordered my associates.
    She was gesturing at me to stop.

    I stopped the saw and walked over to her. She was concerned that I was going to clear the woodland, quite upset about it.

    After assuring her that I was only helping someone clear dead trees and seeing she was very upset, I asked her:

    “Are you ok?”
    “No!” Then she began sobbing. It turned out her husband, a multi millionaire businessman, had left her for another woman and she had just received the divorce paperwork. She was desperately sad. Tears pouring down her face.
    I hate to see anyone in such distress so I opened my arms and she came forward and hwas on my chest, sobbed
    . I was covered on sawdust and grime and this petite woman in expensive clothes was hugging me like a child hugs her mother.

    After a minute or so, she pulled away and apologised. Then asked if I wanted a cup of tea or coffee. I think she was embarrassed that she had unburdened herself on a total stranger.

    She returned 10 minutes later with a tray with 2 teas and a small bunch of flowers from her garden, which she awkwardly gave me as a thank you for my kindness.
    Then she described the elderly woman standing several feet away from me, in minute detail, adding that she was smiling at me. Then said:

    “**** thought a great deal of you, you are a very kind person.”

    The hairs on the back of my neck were standing up-she had perfectly described and named someone I knew who had died, several years before.
    I asked her how she knew this person-
    “I don’t, I see spirits. They are everywhere.”
    I asked if there were others present.
    “They are everywhere, but only **** knows you.”
    She told me her mother had the same gift/curse.

    Three things stand out from that encounter:

    -this woman was fucking beautiful. Seriously beautiful: blonde, slim build, blue eyes, 5’3”, late 30’s-typical pretty Polish woman.
    I thought- it would take a lot to leave such a stunning, sweet matured women, the spirit thing must have freaked her husband out.

    -it made me consider life and death in a different light. I was in my early 30’s.

    -in the bouquet of garden flowers was a note with her home and mobile phone numbers. I never did call-even though she was one of the most alluring women I have ever met.
    I regret that. She was gorgeous.

    True story-make of it what you will…

    🤔

      • All those ghosts would have ruined the mood ☹️

        Imagine-you are just approaching the vinegar strokes and she cries out:
        “**** says you are going too fast!”
        🧐

      • Especially if it was any of ‘Hitler/Stalin/Jimmy Savile say you’re going too fast’.

      • I imagine you would have smashed the granny out of her, then sold her the log wood at an inflated price, Lord F😄👍

    • I thought that was going to be a joke with a long setup for a killer punchline! I feel shortchanged. Can’t you do a knock-knock joke or something to make up for it?

      Interesting story though.

  20. TV ghost hunting has never been quite the same since the Scouse fella snuffed it.
    He was the one with the sixth sense who used to visit old buildings up and down the land and often come out with such pearls of insight such as “Mary lives Diccckkkk!!!” and other such nonsense.

    Derek Chisora I think he was called… No sorry it was Derek Acorah.

    Good Morning

    • Alrite dere dead fella,
      You dat tooty karmen?
      Pharaoh nuff!
      Need any plastering work on dem pyramids?
      Cash like!

      – D. Acorah

      • Mnc@ – Where is Acorah? Watch out for a whiff of Brut and some ectewplasm splashing about!
        Many years ago I was informed “a ghost” had stolen my Sisters Raleigh pushbike – it turns out it had actually been stolen by my other Sisters husband who was too pissed to walk home – a Frenchman Sir, a Frenchman he was!
        Some years later I demanded satisfaction by way of a fist fight and a confession, but was told to behave myself by my old dear!
        The mood I was in there was a fkin good possibility the filching blighter would have ended up a ghost! 😀👍💪☠

  23. I fucking hope ghosts aren’t real. The idea of being stuck around this festering shitheap after death is terrifying.

    Imagine being so attached to this place you refuse to move on and see what else reality offers. Fuck that. I won’t even look back. Earth will diminish from view like a turd going down the u-bend. So long, fuckers!

  24. Not into ghosts but I do think there is ‘something’ which can be explained by science on what Einstein described as ‘spooky action at a distance’

    Something I experienced in the past which could only be explained as either pure coincidence or the spooky action at a distance. Still not sure

    • Spooky action at a distance is properly called quantum entanglement. It was first postulated by a physicist by the name of John Bell and came to be known as Bell’s theorem. It was this that Einstein was remarking on. It seemed counterintuitive to him but since then it has been proven true in many experiments.

      If there is any explanation in so called supernatural phenomena this is the place to start looking.

      I realize I’m at risk of becoming ISAC science correspondent, so I’ll say it again, global warming is a scam.

      • I watched a documentary on Quantum biology, very interesting and went a long way to explaining things like the rapid transformation of tadpole to frog.

      • Did they mention morphogenic fields Sick Of It? That’s a little (ahem) controversial (virgin on tinfoil hattery) though as an open minded fellow I restrain from entirely dismissing it. There’s maybe a grain of truth in there. Rupert Sheldrake was it’s major modern proponent. He’s like a scientifically trained David Icke.

  25. My mother was/is one of these conpersons so I can say with some authority having lived around it for many years that it is an absolute crock of cunt.
    Some people find it entertaining and some find it comforting to listen to and are a happy to pay for it, fine. But if it’s presented as anything other than complete make believe fantasy than it is then the conperson can go queue up for Terry’s oven. See if they get stuck in limbo up in the extraction fan.
    Morning cunters

  26. If I was investigating this sort of phenomena, I’d do it in the fucking daytime, its always at night,with limited vision and ambient light available.
    Of course daylight would show up fuck all ,the end.
    PS: kudos to the genius who sells these spirit box gadgets. Nice little bunse there.

  27. These cunts that do this stuff on the T.V. Male or female never actually convince me that they have seen, or heard anything at all worth watching. It’s mostly just a load of noise, which a third party can easily mock up. They don’t have grey hair either, having never encountered the Headless Drummer, The Devil or Anne Boleyn’s hand. Any good quality C.C.T.V. coverage of that would make me switch back on.

  28. I see ghosts every time I have a wank.

    That’s right, it’s known as ‘Doris Strokes’ when you’re having a tug and you can’t get into rhythm because all you can see are dead relatives floating above you fucking appalled at what your doing!

  29. Always made laugh when Derek Acorah got “posessed” and groped/attacked the fat bird in Most Haunted. 👻😱

  30. All the British version needed for me to watch it was a couple of gnarled old Jacob Marley spectres to undress and grope Yvette Fielding on night-vision camera.

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