Stupid Drivers

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Cunts with no common sense are the sad decline of society, these are the fuckers that now thanks signs on coffee cups saying contents are hot, or do not put your hand in the food blender while its running have survived long enough to breed.

Now if these cunts pass their genes on to their offspring, it can only be assumed they are going to be worse and so on until humans are extinct.

Anyway the cause of this nom, driving into work this morning, you come across a road that you have to cross, traffic turns in and out of the road from both ways and people generally leave a gap, but not today as i pull up to the junction there is some weak chinned, tree hugging prick blocking the whole system up both waysin his poxy red Toyota hybrid.

Anyway this cunt has got himself all aeriated as he is now feeling like the pleb that he is, anyway lights eventually change and he,s making a point of stopping me/ everyone else from moving.

Suffice to say, even his daughter now thinks he,s a cunt, especially due to the fact here ear was 2 feet from the fucking loud horn which was on for a good 20 seconds until the prick eventually moved.

Unfortunately you not allowed to chin these stupid fuckers anymore, so he will live to be a cunt another day, hopefully he wont be so lucky next time….cunt

Nominated by: Fuglyucker

90 thoughts on “Stupid Drivers”

  1. I began driving in the 1980’s – motorcycle then car.
    I seriously think the DVLA hand out licences in Cornflakes packets these days.
    And as our kid was crippled, lost his job, was medically retired and is in pain and disabled for the rest of his life due to some old bitch who couldn’t be bothered the road was clear before turning right I have zero sympathy for bad drivers.

    • Totally onboard with this nom!
      Some shite drivers about.

      I’m a brilliant driver.
      Could be one of those Formula one fuckers.

      On way back from Ellesmere port earlier im in the right hand lane doing about 85mph
      I look up from my suduko just in time!!
      Cunt comes into MY Lane without indicating!!

      I spilt my coffee everywhere!
      Soon caught up though,
      Beeping and swerving from lane to lane, he backed off.
      Knew he was in the wrong see?

      You have to have eyes in the back of your head nowadays,
      If your a nervous driver id suggest a few drinks first.

      • MNC@ – A few drinkies?
        NO!
        Crystal Meth for confident driving! šŸ˜€
        My tuned Transit used to go off the clock when I worked for British Coal – so I am, er, informed!

    • Well, Vernon. I’d find it hard to disagree.
      My Sisters fiance taken out by van man two months before my wedding and four months before theirs.
      I’d have kicked him to death, had I the chance.

      • My late uncle used to be an HGV driver. He once told me he used to deliberately drive right up to car drivers lagging in lane 2 to frighten them.
        I told him when some cunt did that to me, I used to flick the fogs on and off, deliberately. He was a cunt.

      • Fog lights make a great job of imitating brake lights for the benefit of some prick, more often than not in a German car, who thinks tailgating is acceptable behaviour.

      • Yep usually some cunt doing the full Audi 3 inches from your back bumper while you doing 70 mph in the slow lane, just go around you cunt, read the boot lid there isn’t even any point in a race, it’s not worth the petrol.
        Fuck off, but if you run into the back of my beloved AMG I’m going to rip off your head and shit dowm your neck….

  3. I honestly believe that the way people drive is a direct reflection upon how they both view themselves and the degree of contempt they have for everyone else.

    The entitlement mentality is out of control. Merging with a highway. Slow down, wait for your gap, merge and match the speed of other traffic? No fuck that. I’m coming in and you can all just brake! Need to turn off up ahead. Get in the correct lane a mile or so before your turn, then signal, THEN slow down and make your turn? No fuck that. Force your way into another car’s braking distance 20 feet before your turn, slam on the anchors then peel off without any indication of what you planned to do.

    Inconsiderate, disrespectful and dangerous. Driving on the public roads is a privilege, not a right. These cunts all drive like they’ve signed up to the ‘It will never happen to me club’. And the best part, some cunt does something absolutely fucking mental in front of you causing you to swerve, brake hard, change lane, whatever. You blast your horn as if to say “hey I’m HERE – WTF?” and they give you a mouthful together with hand gestures, like it’s you who have done something wrong! Un-fucking-beliveable.

    Instead of fucking speed cameras everywhere, how about the rozzers pull over cunt drivers and issue on the spot fines for driving like a cunt. Much more lucrative. But then just look at how cops drive. Hardly a mobile advert for the highway code is it? Cunts.

    • IY, didn’t you know, they add 50p to your leccy bill, everytime you do something rash like using your indicator, or putting your heads on if it’s foggy, raining or just plain dull.

      • You’re probably not wrong, JP. Especially pickup truck drivers. It’s like absolutely no traffic regulations apply to those cunts.

        Unless you live or work on a farm on ranch, you don’t need a fucking pickup truck. End of. Cunts.

  4. I stopped driving over 7 years ago. Never at my most confident behind the wheel, and night vision deteriorating, I decided for YOUR safety I should stop. I’m always thinking of the greater good, me!
    Also, the car younger was driving, with me as a front seat passenger, got totalled by some cunt in a Daf truck, totally lost all confidence, couldn’t travel in a car for months, had to have physio, counselling, the lot.
    At least the compo paid for a banging new kitchen!

  5. Some myths about driving are true.
    Always cunts that drive Audi’s.
    Dunno why?
    And Chinese cant drive .
    Theyre beyond useless.
    Think its their eyes?
    Suppose its like driving while looking through a crack in window blinds?

    A chink in the curtains!

    • DĆ„rkıes canā€™t drive in general.
      Blacks because their IQ hasnā€™t evolved further than slicing a loaf of bread, so driving for them is like operating the space shuttle for us.
      PĆ„kıs because theyā€™re distracted/turned on by the sound of a recently-snatched 11 year old girl trussed up in their boot

      • You need to relax when driving ling distance, Unusually take a word search or a good book.
        Once Thomas I drove to Gloustershire an back and read the whole of Stephen King’s Misery!
        And never slowed down once!
        But had my brakes fixed now.

      • Thomas – I finally got hold of a decent copy of City Infernal by Edward Lee – as per your recommendation several noms ago.

        I’m 100 pages in. A murder, a suicide, some attempted suicides and the main character has just met some sort-of ghosts living in her father’s house. So it’s going quite well. Looking forward to seeing how this plays out.

        Thanks again for the recommendation. Cheers – IY.

    • MNC@ – Dench and Charlie Chan are constantly distracted by the delicious wildlife they see!

    • Enough you Audi haters! As Shakespeare put in in ā€œThe Audi Dealer of Veniceā€
      ā€œHath not an Audi driver eyes? Hath not an Audi driver hands, organs, dimensions, senses, affections, passions? Fed with the same food, hurt with the same weapons, subject to the same diseases, healed by the same means, warmed and cooled by the same winter and summer as a BMW driver is? If you prick us, do we not bleed? If you tickle us, do we not laugh? If you poison us, do we not die?ā€

      • JP.
        The famous Yank author, whose name seems enough to make any comment about him disappear when I try to post it, freely admits to having been off his nut on marching powder while making that particular film.
        It showed in the finished result…

      • You have to admit Mr P, when someone is driving like a complete cunt more often than not its an Audi, obviously not all Audi drivers are cunts like your good self I’m sure, but you unfortunately get tarred with the same brush and get treated like a cunt by all other drivers anyway.
        So you may as well act as other drivers expect or change to any other make of car, its harsh but accurate….

  6. My younger refers to Audi owners as CIA, cunt ina Audi, pretty much sums them up.
    Incidentally, despite the accident, she’s still the only person who I feel totally relaxed with, when I’m a passenger.

    • JP@ – I used to work for Audi as a tech manager, and can confirm that by and large Audi drivers are utter arrogant cunts!
      I have owned every car brand imaginable, currently got a somewhat vicious BMW E46 – strong, well made and if anyone is dumb enough to run into it their kit kat wrapper tin boxes will dissolve as I sit there listening to the stereo.

      • My bestest ever car was a Volvo estate. Right tank, some rinkidink motor ran into it.
        Volvo 1, rinkidink 0
        Remember that winter when everything was solid ice, including the roads, for days.
        My Volvo took it all in its stride.

    • As someone who used to drive an Audi, I dispute these scurrilous assertions. I and other ISAC Audi owners are definitely NOT cunts. We demand an apology or we will set up an Audi Owners Feelings Matter movement. Stop hurting Audi owners and making us feel bad!

  7. The level of cuntishness has increased dramatically post-lockdowns. As a cyclist and motorcyclist as well, the stupidity I see most days is astounding. And as for the pricks on leccy scooters, other gangs of cyclists and fast-food delivery scooter riders, well don’t even go there as my blood pressure will be through the roof.

    • I cannot tell you how many kids, and I mean 8 to 11 year old, have got leccy scooters for Christmas, and are riding them to school on the footpath.
      I’m considering drastic action, like a flamethrower.
      ” Get off my footpath!”

      • All you need JP is a handful of gravel, they are fucked and usually not wearing helmets, so usually major head and face injuries.
        Find somewhere to wait with your camera ready so the sympathy can be shared on social media, and we can all have a good laugh…..

    • Same.Boils my piss.Are they in charge of pavements?NO.SMEG OFF YOU INCONSIDERATE CRETINS.

  8. Peacefuls share licences and insurance, if any, and there’s no indicators on elephants. That’s why they’re crap in cars.

    • Know a former delivery driver who told me a story. He was delivering in s peaceful area and had to drive down a one way street when some peaceful tart came down the street in the wrong direction. He got out and politely told her it was one way and that she’d have to back up. Her reply was that she didn’t know how to reverse.

      She was in the car alone and not an L plate was in sight.

      Yup. The cunts do get others to take tests for them, I’m sure.

  9. Cunts who overtake you at high speed, cut in and then instantly slow to turn left, should be executed in front of their crying children.

    • Wobbler@ – Apologies – couldn’t post below – understood! šŸ˜€
      I am right about middle aged muslim “Men” though.

      • Totally, they all booze, gamble, rape, but plead devout Muslim which forbids these behaviours, when the plod came calling.

        A peaceful in blackburn won Ā£167 million on the early lottery draws, and when his Muslim brethren came a calling for a new mosque, he told them to fuck off and moved away, so bloody hilarious.

  11. You can be the best driver in the world, but that won’t save you if you come across one of these total fuckheads who think they can drive any way they like and it’s ok. I wouldn’t mind if they just killed themselves, or each other, but it sometimes seems as though they’re determined to take out some innocent road user for the hell of it. I’d say I’m average but almost every time I drive down the street I see someone doing something stupid, and it isn’t just boy racers either. Add gormless cyclists and gormless pedestrians to the mix and it’s no surprise that people get killed on the roads. Chimps have more sense than some of them.

  13. I’ve solved all such mithers but only taking to the roads in a Chieftain tank.
    Everyone is so polite.
    The cunts.

  15. Previous posts bring several points to mind.
    First, darkie women cannot drive.
    Second, on two occasions I have seen cars being chased at high speed by the police in the style you see on television filmed from the police helicopter. Both vehicles being chased were Audis.
    Third, I am certain moose limbs share licences and insurance etc. Mate of mine was told openly by his moose limb neighbour that his brother had flown to bongo-bongo land and back on his passport. They are well aware that we cannot tell them apart.

    • Arfurbrain@ – It is not that we can’t tell them apart – everyone knows what they do and nothing is done about it.
      I used to work in law, RTA’s were my speciality, and I can say from direct personal experience every single p*ki is a lying, conning crook who immediately shouts “racist” when they are caught.
      Every one.

      • Empathise with both points you make there Vernon. I think it was back in 2011 that I was the victim in an “accident” staged by a bunch of moose limbs on junction 21A of the M25. I was circling the roundabout above the motorway and I looked to my left for less than a second to check that no-one was about to pop out in front of me from the North Orbital out of Watford. When I looked back a Nissan Micra was immediately in front of me with the brakes hard on. Inevitably I hit him. The driver and rear seat passenger said nothing but walked around twisting their heads about as if they had suffered whiplash. The front seat passenger did all the talking. His name was Mohamed. The driver of the car behind me stopped and approached me and said, “Do you realise you’ve just been in a staged accident?” He took photos and gave his name as a witness. I had a visit from a man from the insurance company which lasted about an hour. He was clearly sympathetic and as he left I asked him what the chances were of prosecuting the bastards. He said the problem they usually had was of getting people to go to court. I told him to let me know the time and place of the hearing and I would be there in my best suit but I never heard back. I formed the impression that when the moose limbs made a claim they were probably told where to go but I regret not going to court.

      • 21A-loads of dusky types around St AlbansšŸ˜‰

        I used to see the same car, on a slip road off the M3.
        Four Peacefuls-one standing by it, trying to flag down passing cars.
        It was there every Sunday for months ( I was visiting a friend in need).
        A family member was caught by these fuckers-she had the presence of mind to photograph and film the cunts. Her insurance company fucked them off toošŸ‘

  16. Avoid getting close to any vehicle of Kraut manufacture. Particularly if it’s black.
    But the worst drivers (as in braindead rather than selfish and arrogant) are usually driving one of those SUV things…

  17. Way too many big cars on the road these days. From old retireds to slag mothers, the oversized SUV is everywhere, and neither demographic can drive the fucking things as they either have to stop every two minutes because they canā€™t work out how big their mongmobile is to get passed parked cars, or they come barrelling through, forcing you up on the pavement. They are also a pain in the fucking arse when they are empty, as they overhang a normal parking space at a car park, making either side unusable. Same issue parked at the roadside, usually at least a foot from the kerb.
    Then there is the pickup.
    Some might see this as an ideal work vehicle, and there is some merit to that. But there are many vain cunts, with minuscule inner dicks who have them for no other reason than to look like some big bollock red neck cunt, or as a road bully instrument.
    Of course, there is always the German cat.
    I would rather a fucking wheelchair to a German car. Most cars are a money pit, but the kraut mobiles are the gift that keeps on giving, to garage mechanics anyway. Nowhere near as reliable as their reputation, and always needing expensive bespoke parts. My ex mother in law bought a brand new VW that needed parts replaced before it had gone through a single tank of fuel.
    A dickhead status symbol, itā€™s a constant battle between brands of who can be the biggest cunt on the road. Probably responsible for most ufo sightings, as the sight of an amber flashing light within 100 yards of a Nazi staff car is a rare phenomenon.
    Audi usually come out on top. Audi is an an acronym, Another Useless Driver Inside.
    Too many cunts. Tell the Pope for fucks sake, that fucking cunt wants more of them…

    • All you need JP is a handful of gravel, they are fucked and usually not wearing helmets, so usually major head and face injuries.
      Find somewhere to wait with your camera ready so the sympathy can be shared on social media, and we can all have a good laugh…..

    • I like them Ford Rangers CB,
      And them Ranger Raptors.
      But my cousin in Yorkshire reckons they have a few engine issues.
      Nice looking cars .

  19. Cunts who drive over mini roundabouts. WTF does give way to the right mean….. fuck em, fuck em all.

  20. yes agree with Audi arrogance, it used to be BMW cunts
    had one up my arse recently in an urban area and i told him to fuck off in the rearview mirror and he was so close up my hole i could see his expression change
    approaching the traffic lights that just went amber i pressed the brakes firmly and the nose of his car dived forward . it was then i accelerated through the amber lights just turning red.
    there he was the Audi bummer stopped at the red lights as i just cruised away gently about my business
    A victory i tell you and i couldn’t wipe the smile of my face

  21. I am,of course, an excellent driver….even the Magistrate commented that my ability to drive 20+ miles after drinking 14 pints was truly remarkable….would have got the remaining 5 miles home too if that fucking tree hadn’t jumped out in front of me.

    • i visited the fields once upon a time having avoided the tree Sir dick. It was a ford fiesta mk 1 1.3sport in black.
      i had to sleep in the right off as i was in the middle of nowhere in the countryside at 12 midnight pitch black
      I was abit shook up but eventually slept with the seat covers for blankets as there was no windscreen or back window or engine working and the car buried in mud.
      i woke up with the sound of Moo Moooo . i was surrounded by cows and i had such a thirst for water that my throat felt like an Arabs sandel
      No police were involved in that incident ah they were the good old days

  23. In my experience, German car drivers are amongst the worse.
    Not all, however:
    We have an Audi Quattro in our ā€œstableā€-we donā€™t drive it like cunts.

    I would argue that the biggest menaces are deliveroo cunts and parcel/home delivery cunts-usually Eastern European twats.
    šŸ§

    • Anyone who drives a Nissan Leaf should be hauled out and pistol whipped in the road.
      Fuck me.
      Always some dawdling cunt.
      Either some goofy vicar looking fucker,
      Or some churchmouse old frump.

      • but their saving the planet when they go shopping
        we all need to take a leaf out of their trolley

  26. The part in the nom about signs made me think of this :
    https://youtu.be/BAnGYfnFz9I

    I’m not saying we should kill all stupid people, we should just take the signs off everything dangerous.
    Gotta love a Darwin award.

  28. The three things which really piss me off:
    Use of fog lights when not needed.
    No indication, especially at roundabouts.
    Not slowing down when the sign says Reduce Speed Now. I slow down and the cunt behind me doesn’t, then slams his brakes on just inches from me.

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