Pointless Media Headlines

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I would like to Cunt stupid and pointless headlines in the press.

The ones that are of no real interest to the average British reader or the ones that miss the giant elephant 🐘 sat in the room.

For example
BBC News Link

Pardon the Taliban ban long road trips for women. My reaction is oh wow what a non story the fucking Taliban ban everything worthwhile in life this has been common knowledge for well, ever. The only thing they don’t ban is torture and killing this takes place everyday yet let’s talk about long journeys.

Another example where I feel that the writer has missed or ignored the point

GB News Link

I believe a more appropriate headline would be “frenchies still can’t stop ✋ illegal immigrants getting into boats 🚣‍♀️ , do they actually want to “. ? Or are the French police really that fucking useless.

Trawl the news sites fellow cunters and you will see that this happens over and over again. Maybe someone could invent a pair of spot the elephant 🐘 in the room specs.

Nominated by: Everyonesacunt

138 thoughts on “Pointless Media Headlines”

  1. How about non pointless headlines that never get a headline or even a mention.Lord Ahmed of Rotherham springs to mind. Nonce.

    (“Nonce” resulted in your commented ending up in the MQ. Sorted now. And secondly, there’s a nom processed and scheduled regarding that kiddie fiddling Lordy cunt – Day Admin)

  2. It’s a good headline, that one, and I heartily agree with it. In my youth the best girls to go out with were the ones who went to all-girls schools – they always offered ‘something special’.

    • School girls offering special head?

      Dont stay innocent for long do they?☹️

  3. Yes, all girls school, especially the boarders. Midnight capers in the dormitories-allegedly. The all pervading aroma of body nectar and muffed giiggles. The hushed tales recounted by your grlfriend, You dirty sods..

    • Right.
      I’m sure that I’ve still got my much thumbed, much stained copy of Enid Blyton’s ‘Bunty of the Sixth Form’ somewhere…

  4. Have any other cunters ever used the Guardian headline generator? It’s a real hoot.

    • I like the comment generator too.

      Example:

      “The other day, admiring the pictures taken during our recent trip to rural Malawi with my new DLSR camera, the honest simplicity of the locals’ existence got me thinking. At a time of global recession why are we still having to fight for trans rights? Viva la revolucion! Viva Chavez.”

      https://www.tomforth.co.uk/guardiancomments/

      I believe the humourless cunts took legal action against the headline generator website.

      Lefties hate humour. I always make a point of sticking Bernard Manning on if one is ever in my house.

      • Good man CB👍
        Ive never met a lefty yet and left them unoffended.
        Free service!
        If around feminist types
        Casual scratch your bollocks and yawn,
        The little minxes hate it!

      • So they did the humourless cunts. A new one’s been created but it just isn’t the same.

  5. Some paper had a screaming banner the other day – “Electric Car Travels from Land’s End to John o’Groats” or something like it. Reading the article it transpired it some experimental vehicle that was still a prototype and “might” have the range to do the trip. Stupid cunts.

  11. Pointless media headlines?
    That will be all of them then.
    The headline we will see from all the MSM soon is just confirmation that they are changing their name to Pravda or TASS.
    May as well call the MSM “The Government approved State Channels” at this point.
    Every nom today has made me want to load the Gatling – I am going for a cup of tea as my gardening day has been rained off – looks like some DIY then – and not even being paid for it!

    • “No more Xenu for me, Allah is the only God,” said the diminutive mega-star as he hastily boarded the midnight plane to Riyadh.

    • BONO DECLARES
      ‘I AM A CUNT!’

      Sorted that one for you CG!

      I can see this nom spiralling out of control…

    • “I have felt this all my life, that I am the true Son of God, Emmanuel, my light is here to shine on everyone. But I also bring a sword,” said the diminutive mega-star as he and his army of acolyte bodyguards boarded the midnight plane to their unfinished Ethiopian mountain fortress.

    • THAT would be a belter!

      “One has mixed emotions,” said the crest-fallen Royal. “One the one hand, it explains the ginger and it also confirms that mummy loved all kinds of cock.”

    • “I was just looking for some thrown-away pizza in the dumpster and there it was, a human head,” said local homeless man, known as, Stick-Shift.

  18. “United Kingdom Votes to Leave the EU in Brexit Referendum”

    Quite possibly THE most pointless headline of all given that we really haven’t, and probably never will fully.

    In fact I have more faith in the other classic headline, “Freddie Starr Ate My Hamster”

  19. TRUMP BLAMES ELECTION FRAUD FOR LOSING PRESIDENCY

    Oh wait, that was a real fucker…..🤣🤣

      • Donald Trump, who died last month aged 108, is to be bestowed a funeral parade in New York, it has been accounted. Governor Germanotta (aka. Lady Gaga) said last night, “I and President Snoop Dogg spoke at length and we both feel that honouring former President Trump, a two-time President from 2016-2020 and 2024-2032, who stood strong in the war with China and Russia, is fully deserving of the honour of a funeral procession in his hometown of New York. I urge there to be no violence like that which we saw as President Obama’s funeral procession in 2029. Thank you. God bless Donald Trump and God bless America. Thank you.”

    • Haha I like that one.

      What fucks me off are stories about, say a hippo or something and there’s a stock photo of a fucking hippo.

      • “In the wake of fresh sex allegations, the helicopter that Prince Andrew has been using to evade justice has crashed in the Pennine mountains. Due to the unprecedented winter weather, the worst snowstorms since 1963, rescue cannot take place at present.”

    • LOL! Brilliant. The Chinese have a the biggest submarine. Kinda stupid to build them massive, isn’t it? Makes them easier to ping on a sonar. A fleet of small ones would be smarter, no? Like the ones the drug smugglers use!

  23. BREAKING NEWS

    Miserable Northern Cunt opens wallet and offers to buy fellow ISAC cunters a round of drinks!

      • “All I was trying to do… was… all I was trying to do, was have a look inside. The next thing I knew, I was like a sozzled Augustus Gloop in Willy Wonka’s factory. I have no idea how my clothes came off, no… or why I’m even in Plymouth,” said the notoriously absent-minded former Shadow Home Secretary.

  27. PUBLIC SERVICE UNIONS DEMAND END TO THEIR INDEXED LINKED PENSIONS

  30. BORIS JOHNSON DIES OF OMICRON

    Sadly passes away only two weeks after wife Carrie chokes to death on a peanut.

    Michael Gove named as interim leader.

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