New Year Resolutions (2)

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Yes I know by and large such things only last barely a month before it all goes to shit and forgotten about until the next year. But I am more determined than ever to make a better effort this time round. Namely:-

Be less tolerant to tourists, especially those who clutter up single-lane roads with their Chelsea Chariots, and dump their littler all over the shop!

Write to my local Tory MP, Trudy “nice MILF” Harrison, on a monthly basis, warning her that she will lose my vote if she doesn’t find her backbone and tell Boris to fuck off!

Cancel my TV licence. Enough is enough with those smug BBC cunts, especially when the World Cup kicks off in Qatar, and none of the virtue signalling football punters will have the balls to criticise local laws over there – including the very same things they’re very keen to bang on about over in this fucking country.

Getting shot of some of my stupid customers who totally ignore my advice about their IT setup, and then a few weeks/months later complain to me that they’ve lost everything and its somehow my fault!

Replying anonymously to those “How Did we Do?” questionnaires from supermarkets and online retailers, suggesting that their service was shit and that they’re all a bunch of cunts who never listen to feedback anyway.

Buy voodoo dolls and stick photos of Greta Iceberg, BJ Boris and Princess Nutjob’s faces on there heads, and stick pins in them every day.

Give up on the idea of an explicit lesbian sex scene between Natalie Portman and Emma Watson will ever see the light of day!

Become a bit more vocal with local council decision-making, especially when it comes to the resettlement and priority service for “refugees” to the area. The National Trust can fuck off too with any further visits from me.

All the usual half-baked resolutions such as cutting back on booze, wanking, fast food and be more active etc, can all take a hike because no doubt the next Covid variant will supposedly kill me anyway.

What are your resolutions?

Nominated by: Technocunt

80 thoughts on “New Year Resolutions (2)”

  1. In the grand scheme of things one year isn’t a long time ( The Earth 🌍) is 4.8 ? Billion years old therefore I see no reason for resolutions so I will continue to be a Cunt and point out cuntishness wherever I see it.

  2. I don’t see the point in New Year resolutions. If a decision needs to be made, then it should be made, regardless of time of year.
    So for me it’s steady as she goes and……
    Carry On Regardless.
    And Fuck Them.
    Sir Tony Blair…….
    That’ll go down like a lead balloon.
    The fucking cunt.
    Good morning.

  4. Mine is is to hate Sir Fucking Anthony Charles Lynton Bliar with even more venom. Knighted for crimes against humanity, devolution and being a smarmy sneering cunt.
    Happy new year cunters.

    • The amazing thing is that there is an even more spectacular acceptance of an honour than Blair !
      Vanessa Redgrave,darling of the hard Left, hater of the British way of life, lover of pikeys and gimmegrants for more than half a century is going to be a Dame.
      Since seeing the Wokers’ Revolutionary Party political broadcast she did with her brother before some general election in the 1970s I have held the opinion that she is a colossal hypocrite. I feel vindicated at last.
      Happy new year to all of us on IsAC.

      • That tiresome precious luvvie Joanna Lumley has also been made a dame.
        Redgrave should fuck off, forthwith.

    • Personally, I believe he deserves the award. After all, he has to wake up to that fucking ugly ‘The Joker’ lookie likee, Sheri!! How can someone with only one face be so fucking ugly? Not only that, but he made the beast with two backs with the vile creature, over and over again! He sacrificed himself so that no one else had to! Fair play!

    • Having a knighthood is the surefire mark of an Establishment Cunt. How Blair managed to evade this ignominy for so long is a mystery.

  6. Happy New Year to all cunters and cunts alike. This is the year BoJo finally vanishes ups his own fundament, Greta is ignored by the world, Kweer admits he’s a trannie and we’re all forced to learn Mandarin to be able to talk with our new owners. Personally I want to lose another 4 stone and cut down on the alcohol. W’ll see.

  7. My resolution is to smash “Sir” Whitless in his ugly face using a cricket bat.Twat.

    • I’m not missing a piece o’ this action…lemme get padded up… be right with you

  9. So I’ve concluded that the UK’s institutions, rules, government policy and procedure and traditions work to an agenda that is not commensurate with anything that is meaningful to me and is therefore detrimental to my well being. I’ve therefore decided that I no longer wish to identify as a citizen of the UK … this is now just an area (biome) where I exert my very own ROE’s. Your rules suck … mine apply to everything and everybody without exception … I will not conform nor will I obey. I will take what I want and will operate just below the radar to subvert the integrity of a nation. I think my views are now similar to that of immigrants and the wokerarty.

  10. I’ve resolved to try to get 633 squadron back up and running to solve the dinghy pest invasion finally.
    Good health.

    • In 2022 I resolve To be a nicer, more compassionate human being , maybe take up some role helping teach English to poor asylum seekers.

      Also id like to congratulate that nice mr Blair,
      Well done sir!!

      He has a lovely big smile!!!

      • Ok, I can see that being more fun.
        Bombing it is!!!

        *Happy new year uncle T 👍

  11. Should be New Years Executions.

    Maybe it could be a sort of national lottery where the top 10,000 cunts of the nation are voted for and their names put in the machine. 1,000 winners guaranteed!

    That might resolve a few problems we collectively share!

  12. My New Year’s resolutions are to carry on as usual, as being a miserable, prickly and controversial old wanker that hardly anyone likes.

    This discounts all idiots from befriending me, and only ensures that the creme de la creme of society can be bothered with me. True oddities, original thinkers and eccentric types are welcome.

    • Dickvandyke@

      Its not they don’t like you they’re just shy.

      I find shouting wins people over
      And giving them a nickname.
      Gentle insults wins friends in the community.

      “Morning spastics!!”
      At a wedding?
      Youll be a social butterfly.

      • Happy New Year Mis.

        Yes, I don’t like upsetting people intentionally.

        I like taking the piss and cracking shit made up jokes at gatherings.

        I like people taking the mick out of me and good banter.

        Some people don’t get banter anymore and get upset or misunderstand it, or things go completely over their heads.

        We had dripping windows a couple of days ago.

        My granddaughter said “your windows are dripping bad grandad”, I said to her “it’s the same stuff black people have running down their windows”
        “What’s that”, she asked.
        I said, “It’s coondensation”

        Nothing.

    • Not just any old knighthood. Order of the Garter, by Queenies sole discretion.

      She’s been nominated by yours truly for it.

      • Considering he’s almost as unpopular on the left as he is on the right that’ll go down about as well as a stinkbomb in a crowded room.

      • “For war crimes, destroying a Country, bringing in cultural marxism, bankrupting us for fifty years, invaluable assistance in the destruction of Great Britain and the genocide of Men and the white race, Arise Sir Tony..and put the fucking bracelet BACK”!
        I have a plan – borrow some of Keir Twankys outfits, dress as the Queen, borrow a double edged broadsword and provide a “welcome spectacle” – the sight of that head, still resplendent with sickly oily grin, bouncing down the steps at Buckingham Palace will be a memory I would cherish forever!

      • The Queen (because she can’t be voted out) knights cunts who the politicians don’t want to be seen touching with a barge pole but who they obviously really, really want to knight. I expect the the old trout has been offered some deal by Kweer Starmer, like agreeing not to increase what few taxes the Royals currently have to pay if Labour comes to power, Heaven forfend.

      • At the ceremony he has to collect the garter from Her Majesty’s thigh with his teeth.

        Hang on a mo, that was Barry’s wedding video

  14. New Year? 2020 Part 3 – The Fisting Begins.

    What do I awake to this morning?

    Sir Tony cunting Blair!

    “The appointments are the personal choice of the Queen, with up to 24 “knight and lady companions”.”

    There’s the last of my support for a monarchy in this country gone!

    Possibly she mistook him for a Corgi?

  16. This year, I think it’s high time I became more tolerant and begin to see the best in other people. For example, maybe the dinghy riders really are fleeing persecution. Maybe not all parking stanleys are devious, shifty, goat shagging sub humans who cannot drive properly. Maybe Tony Blair really deserves his knighthood. Maybe the BBC are right about climate change and Brexit. Maybe Harry and Meghan really are victims. Maybe Boris is actually doing the best he can in difficult circumstances.
    It’s time I thought about all of this and came up with a more balanced view.

    • Only joking cunters. The above mentioned are and always will be cunts. Let’s hope we can continue pouring our vitriol over the mother fuckers who deserve it.

    • I shall avoid Oesterreichisches Bundesbahn night trains for a bit. Last night’s couchette had a bit of a funny whiff to it. Am sure I saw it on a documentary – The Vienna to Auschwitz Shuttle.

    • Blair can get knotted.
      As for a balanced view, your television set (notice I avoided “your TV”) at one end of the seesaw, a crate of best ale at the other end.
      Through a glass darkly?

  17. The first thing I read this morning on my isac news channel is Cunt in chief Blair knighted
    Why the fuck do we bother
    The most evil manipulator even including that marvel slut is knighted
    Where the fuck do we go from here
    This cunt started the downfall to third world ghetto by importing more shit than a sewerage farm
    What’s the fucking point
    New year new start shit start more like
    I will continue to use this channel and Belfield for my news
    It’s that serious it’s actually funny
    Carry on regardless

      • i agree with a lot he says but fuck me what a creepy cunt he is, no woman would go near him, even the doddy the dog keeps his distance…he’s like that twat andrew lawrence, how can a human being look so fucking creepy, incels by birth

      • and all that talentless homemade fucking art shit he keeps making, throwing coloured nail varnish over a poundshop ornament, his flat is full of the crap

      • I like young Alex-he is making a good living whilst giving the BB-fucking-C a load of grief.

        His gregarious taste in art, is, I suspect linked to his orientation 😉
        Our Alex is very good with colour.
        Which is fine. Perhaps I’m off the mark and all showbizz types have similar taste….
        👍

    • Thank dog that perpetually grinning cunt Beckham wasn’t made a knight. A penalty shootout using his mouth as goal would be a great resolution to accomplish.

  18. #3 is the easiest to do and one of the most worthwhile – I did this in 2020 and it still feels good now, when I hear people moaning about the cunts, being smug in the knowledge that I’m not contributing to them. Do it today!

    https://www.defundbbc.uk/

    It’s such a good one you don’t need any others👍

    • Mikdys@ – Great feeling knowing you are not funding Linecunt and Munchbutty isn’t it?
      My New Years resolution is to defund the BBC every way and how I know.
      And my warmest congratulations to Emma Radacanu for winning the “rigged vote of the year” award..

  20. I steadfastly resolve in this coming year, to insult, defame and harass any person of colour.
    I steadfastly resolve in this year to insult, defame and harass all who identify as kweer.
    I steadfastly resolve this year to shag at least another two wenches known to me as “easy lays” ( Information kindly offered by some guy called Andy )
    I steadfastly resolve this year to recommend those who take the knee to members of IRA ( who will oblige )
    I steadfastly resolve this year to have my wanksock finally washed,

    Happy new year to all

  21. There is no one more deserving than Anthony Blair for a knighthood, he is after all one of the biggest cunts ever to run the country, his achievements are unrivalled in his time at No 10.

    My resolution is to more tolerant of the peaceful community 🤣

    • never thought i’d side with the peacefuls but strangely found myself doing so over the nonces teaching 5 years about sex and teaching baby boys that its natural to get fucked up the arse and wear a fairy costume…as the lefty teachers wanked off under the desks unable to believe their luck that the government sanctioned all their demonic perversions, when i heard a manchester peaceful tell a headmistress she was disgusting pedo as he pounded on her car i found i agreed with his opinion whole heartedly…so pleased my grandkids are now home schooling…non of that pedo and critical black shit for them

  22. To invade France armed with an air rifle and pocket knife.

    I expect to see the white flags before I’m halfway up the beach.

  23. Fucking hell I’m tired.

    I just weighed myself in at 12 st 1 lb. I resolve not to get any heavier in 2022. The wife is 9 st 1lb, and resolves to lose a half stone.
    Talk about boring cunts.

    Morning all.

    • RK@ -Afternoon Squire – I put quite a lot of weight on last year due to being “somewhat compromised” by a back injury – bit difficult to exercise!
      But hammering the bike and a lot of dieting meant I could get into my new Prada jeans – the Laydees at the new years eve party I vaguely recall attending were most impressed!
      Using the path, grass verge and half the road to “walk” home in the early hours was an interesting experience..

    • I don’t bother weighing myself but rather focus on waist size and how my stomach looks in the mirror. The old man’s gotten down from a 44 waist to 38 and hopes to be at 34 by the end of the year.

  24. Remaining alive seems like a good resolution.

    The story no doubt emanating from Buck Hice is that Blair had to be knighted to unblock the drain for subsequent ex-PM’s, eg, Brown, Cameron, May and….well, fuck me, who’s the guy who signs off the recommendations and will be the next to leave?

    So I guess knighting a cunt who has spent his entire career since 2006 in the pay of foreign governments and banks, quite apart from the trail of social wreckage he created before pissing off, makes perfect sense.

    Another member of the Order of the Garter is, of course, Prince Andrew.
    Birds of an arrogant, entitled, cash-crazed feather…

    • Have to say I’ve never heard of most of these current OotG cunts. I suspect Baroness Amos is there purely because she is black. Not surprised, considering the heir to the English throne proclaimed:

      “The diversity of our society is its greatest strength and gives us so much to celebrate.”

      • I can just see him saying that after living in Tottenham for a year. Useless, ivory tower twat.

      • From what I recall of Baroness Amos over the years she’s been about as useful as Mavis May.

      • Amos was a useful stooge for Blair when Clare Short developed principles regarding the invasion of of Iraq. Short was right, in the event: “…undermining international law and the authority of the UN creates the risk of instability, bitterness and growing terrorism that will threaten the future for all of us…”
        Amos was afflicted by no such doubts, and replaced her, with added Instant Diversity.

        THe average age of the Garter knights is 79.4 years.

  25. My new year’s resolution is not to take any more shit. In fact I’ve started already. I made a complaint to my doctor because some staff member missed an item off my monthly prescription request. My point was that I wasn’t asking for a different flavour of toffee from a sweet shop, I was requesting medication designed to prevent my health problems becoming worse. I expect I’ll get a few dirty looks next time I go round there. Fuck ’em.

      • only worn a mask once, to the fucking dentist to have an emergency tooth out, you can’t make this shit up, what was the point of wearing it lol….the great scam

    • You’re lucky to get past the front door. Most doctors surgeries are now harder to access than Fort Knox.

      • unless you have boils you want some uneducated bangladeshy to finger, then don’t go to the surgery. you can get a phone consultation apparently, my son in law did, then you can just pick a prescription up from tesco or where suits you.

  26. Just to add another resolution to my nomination, and that’s to do a few more cash-in-hand back handers!

    As a self-employed person being more or less abandoned by this government during the lockdown of 2020-2021, and getting very little financial support despite paying my taxes and national insurance contributions. While also putting all my work over the last 5 or 6 years through the books with my accountant, and then find the government willing to throw billions of support cash at the fucking public sector and refugees… well they can go fuck themselves if they think they can screw any more money out of me.

    Cash in hand is the way to go: Fuck Boris, Fuck the Treasury and Fuck HMRC

    • I support this wholeheartedly, Techno. One of the reasons why I decided to stay in the US and not return to Blighty to pick up where I left off with my own company, was the utter money grab bullshit known as IR35.

      That piece of butt-fucking legislation is so wrong on so many levels and absolutely decimated the pros of running your own business.

      For those not familiar, IR35 basically taxed an independent contractor (working through their own limited company) the same as a regular employee of a client corporation. Despite the fact the contractor has to pay employers and employees NI contributions, does not get paid sick leave or paid time off, has to pay for their own equipment, training and other miscellaneous business materials and is excluded from all the other perks regular corporate employees get. Hmmm….not very fair is it?

      It was and still is a blatant money grab and is off the scale in its blatant attack on skilled people who had the fucking balls to go it alone. I was and still am very happy to be part of the brain drain which followed. The UK gov and treasury can kiss my arse. Cunts.

  27. I had no intention of any resolution’s what so ever.
    However things turned for the worse after my alcoholic brother emboldened by a bottle of vodka decided to abuse first our mother and then me.
    I cant say exactly what happened but I found myself forcing the bedroom door open where he had taken refuge, throwing him across the room and then again for good measure told him to get his stuff and fuck off.
    Being a reasonable person I gave him a little time to gather his things, he chose to object yet again and more carpet eating followed.
    I then kindly escorted him outside and reminded him of a few little underhanded things he had done in the past and the fact I was very well aware of his schemes, he did have money for a taxi.
    Fast forward today and we receive a call from a local hospital asking us to collect now detoxed brother.
    I am not happy at all I thought I had thrown that shit out, but he has bounced back with the “Mummy I am ill” shit.

    • Is he over 18?
      If yes, then fuck him.
      Sad but true, alcoholics will always be alcoholics. Always.

      A condition that fucking destroys the life of the people around them too.

      Apologies to fellow cunters who have been or are affected by this condition.
      🤔

      • It is terrible how bottles of booze gang up on certain people and force their contents down those peoples’ throats. Shocking.

        Still you know what they say, rehab is for quitters. 🙂

  28. The New Year’s Day number one has been just been released, and has shot straight into the top spot.

    It’s a cover version duet of the Dina Carrol hit,
    “The perfect year”, sung by Ghislaine Maxwell and Prince Andrew.

    All proceeds will be donated to the Save The Children charity, and 10% will go to Virginia Guiffre,
    in the hope that she will shut the fuck up and disappear.

  29. Last year I resolved to never make a new years resolution again…and I stuck to it

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