Cheeky Advert Cunts

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I keep seeing adverts where cunts impose themselves on others.

I’m talking about the likes of those cunts on the ‘housebarrassment’ adverts or a recent one on holidays (the cunts try to force their friends into doing a stay at home ‘Yurt’ holiday.)

Now, I know these are just adverts, but have people become so terrified of ‘offending’ anyone that this is an actual thing? And so narcissistic that they’d refit their entire house if an uninvited friend is coming around to stay? Seems to be a lot of adverts like this.

My version of the advert would be better.

Friends: “Oh,good news. We’ve decided to come and stay at yours this Christmas!”

Me: “You can get fucked you cheeky cunts.”

However, the aggrieved in these adverts never say this, they smile and try to make excuses at best. At worst, they refit their entire fucking kitchen, rather than tell them to fuck off.

Fucking puffs.

https://www.wickes.co.uk/cure-housebarrassment

Nominated by: Cuntybollocks

55 thoughts on “Cheeky Advert Cunts”

  1. “We’re coming to you at Christmas”!
    “Good – you have better stuff than me and your place will be empty – let me know when you’ve set off”..

  2. All adverts are shit. Every family mixed race, 90% black. The only white, straight males are, invariably, portrayed as stupid.

    • If you ever needed proof that we are a colonised country just turn on the telly for 5 minutes and there it is….

  3. I actually had a distant relative and his girlfriend, backpackerish age, from New Zealand turn up uninvited on my doorstep obviously looking to stay for a night or two. Luckily he pronounced his surname in a different way to how it’s pronounced up here and I could quite truthfully say that I’d never heard of such a family and shut the door in their faces.

    Cheeky Cunts.

    • PS…if some Cunt tried to even suggest a fucking Yurt holiday to me,I’d feed them through the peeler.

    • I like to invite myself to others houses and impose myself.
      Sometimes staying upto 3months.
      Depends how quickly they snap.

      I have trouble sleeping and my dedication to learning the tuba can sometimes rattle nerves.

      I like all adverts and try to live my life through the messages they send.

    • Apart from the over 50’s life cover ads, not a chocolate face to be seen. I wonder why that is?

    • Good Morning
      It is alll the black women I feel sorry for, left alone to look after the kids whilst their partner shagged off with a white woman to raise a bunch of pickanninies in a £3million flat overlooking the Thames.

      • Morning Miserable

        You want to get into Feng shui and tell your custumers where to put their furniture.
        So it aligns with their ying and yang.

        ‘No the settee doesn’t want to go there it needs to go along this invisible line…for your cosmic spiritual well-being..’

        Then you can charge £1:50p for your ‘Sage’ advice.

        A bit extra never goes amiss.

  5. All adds are a cunt. It’s gone beyond the nature of the advert for me now, or the silly fucking yodelling etc. Every tv add looks like an outtake of Desmond’s or Live and Let Die, mixed race couples or same sex mixed race couples.
    I took my two boys to see the Spider-Man film yesterday, which is rated 12 by the way, and during the ‘age appropriate adverts’ at the start, we were subjected to an add for Heart FM. Not only did it feature that wizened old slag Amanda Holden and a plethora of sooties , it also showed two ‘men’ kissing. Perfect viewing for my two sub teenage lads.

    • Admin@
      To raise revenue why not litter the site with adverts?!
      Could be for cunters businesses!

      Andi Peters could be the face of Fiddlers treefelling?
      And im happy to use Rusty Lee for promoting my Removals business.

      (An interest ideas, Miserable. I wonder if anyone would like Analeazy Dodds to plug their company? – Day Admin)

      • How about mudslides advertising rucksacks? Or greta thunberg advertising tropical holidays? Better still Dianne abbot advertising KFC?

  6. There is an ad for yoghurt drink out at the moment.

    A guy does a voice over saying that he drinks it ‘to enjoy more time with my husband’.

    The fact that he is a fudge packer really doesn’t improve the advert at all.

  7. And another one……..

    The McCains chip advert with the mongy kids.

    The voice over claims that they are helping 150,000 families with sick or disabled children.

    Read the bottom of the screen and you will see that 1 million pounds has been donated.

    That works out at about £6.50 for each family.

    • Yep, I’m sure the execs who sit at the top of these companies and the wankers who come up with this sickening garbage are really worried about bulgy eyed midget kids while they snort toot off a prostitutes butt.

  8. I’d love to see a Wiko advert showing a black family buying a set of kitchen knives.

  10. Me and Ethel watched a film via the dodgy stick thing we have, the other night.
    Nothing special, crap really. Glad I wasn’t paying for it.
    The most puzzling thing was that the white couple, in the ‘ starring ‘ roles, had a dusky hued child.
    My questions to Ethel,
    ‘ Which is the Dark Key ? and
    ‘ Is the kid adopted ? ‘ were left unanswered.
    And apparently, I’m a racist.
    I’m mortified.
    What a load of old shite.
    On a happier note. It’s nice to see that US law enforcement have cured the Synagogue hostage taker of his ‘ mental health ‘ issues 👍
    I wonder if his two brothers, arrested in the UK, suffer from the same affliction ?
    Good morning.

    • Hopefully they filled the cunt with so many holes you could use him as a vegetable colander.

      • Yes, made my day that. Really like the way American law enforcement negotiates; tooled up, mob handed, with armoured cars. Why don’t we do that?

  11. I time lag everything I want to watch … which isn’t much I might add … I then just skip through any adverts making a point to not even look at the high speed flicker. I made a point of not watching that shit years ago … any ads that sneak into my online content is registered and then used as a positive discrimination device. I’m of the opinion that the advertising agencies are driving the agenda of the wokerarty and as a result I regard everything they do as fuckwittery. Cunts … each and every one.

  13. I like Claire in the Wickes ad…
    “Oooh look, Claire’s frozen!”
    “Her pussy’s still quivering…”

    • Scratty cow shouldn’t have let her kitchen get in that state anyway…probably a drunk born in a barn.

      Her cat can kiss my hairy ass too.

  14. It’s the ones with uppity children that I can’t stand, always demanding something and getting it just so their pareycan see their little smiles. Fuck, if I was like that with my parents it would have been a clout from the old man (with a casual pass it on) or the black hair brush from my mother.

  15. My favourite invention of modern times is the mute button on the remote control for use when the adverts come on. Even if I don’t switch off the sound, none of it registers with me anyway.
    I can’t honestly remember a single advert since Shake’n’vac and the PG Tips ones that starred David Lammy.

    • Precisely Geordie. I’ve often wondered how television advertising survived the introduction of the mute button.

  16. So did I hear correctly yesterday that the good ol’ Beeb has been put on notice! 2027 and find your money elsewhere! That means that they’re gonna have to fund their shit in a different way … can you imagine that if they turn to to advertising what they will put up as valid content supporting their views. It’ll be a fuckin’ freak show full of the types that you’d happily tread into the ground.

    • It’s only us old farts (over 40) that fucking pay (paid😉) the licence fee, anyway-hence remove the free licence for the oldies.
      The cunts.

      Younger folk I speak too, know all the ways to watch for free.

      #defundthebbc

    • That’s the penalty they pay for campaigning to get rid of an elected Prime Minister. Did they seriously expect there wouldn’t be any repercussions?

  17. Just like terms and conditions I think that most people do not read the small print on TV ads.

    There was one for some sort of yoghurt.
    The voice over said that each portion of the shite contained as much calcium as a glass of milk.

    At the bottom of the screen it said that 1 portion was equal to 2 pots of the stuff and the glass of milk was 50ml.

    So, hardly any calcium at all.

  18. Have I been secretly transported to the Dark Continent ? Every time an advert comes on the telly it’s a black face…Is this supposed to make me more likely to buy that product..IS IT FUCK, in fact when I see this forced woke’ness I make a point of never buying the shite they are selling….😬

    • West Indian and African television is shit, they mostly watch TV from other countries.

      But on their own channels, none of the ads have white actors.

      It’s the same here in Spain.
      We get the exact same ads as in the UK.
      The only difference is that there are very few black actors in them.

      The UK companies make 2 ads.
      One for the UK marker which all seem to have black actors, and one for the international market that have few.

      That must almost double the production costs and it’s the customers that end up paying.

      I am pleased to see that there is an advert for meat and dairy currently running.
      That should upset the vegans in the meat free month.

  19. The ones that get my goat are those that try to add a ‘shame’ factor in; by buying this product, you’ll do your bit to offset climate change sort of shit. As if the cunts care about anything other than flogging stuff and maximising profits.
    Cunts.

    Morning all.

  20. It’s why I don’t own a TV. Fucking marketing cunts trying to take a shit on my mental front lawn. Fuck them.

  21. Water Aid boils my piss too.
    I bet he is doing to the local kiddies what the aff gans and the Stanleys are doing to kids in Yorkshire.

    • The Western world must have sent over a trillion dollars to Africa over the decades and the cunts are still drinking from puddles in the mud.

      What good will sending them millions more do?

      And if 6 year Mumbage has to walk for 8 hours every day to get water, then move closer to the pond you cunts.
      It’s not like you have a mortgage.

      • Ammo for the AK47 is much cheaper where they live so moving isn’t an option.

        Also, the competition from Hyenas at the water hole bring the tone of the place down.

  22. I liked the old ads…PG Tips Chimpanrilla’s, Them robots from the Smash advert and of course that cunt Leonard Rossiter in the Chinzano Bianco ad. CUNTS!

  23. The ones with the little dar-key either drinking out of a donkey piss puddle, or with that many flies round their eyes it looks like someone hit them in the mush with an Eccles cake. I worked with an old desert rat as an apprentice, remembering him saying when he was there during the war ” the fuckers sit there dangling their dicks in the dirt, trust me fuck all will change in 50 years time ” He was right ..we paid in blood then, now we waste shed loads of money on the fuckers and they still paddle across the channel to get more….☠️

  24. Hate all adverts with a passion.
    I never watch live telly anymore such is my contempt for all of these marketing cunts.
    Each and every one of the woke fuckers.

    Wasn’t always the case mind.
    Used to love the Saturday morning safety ads that invariably featured an old dear falling down the stairs or a child being ran over or cooked alive on a electricity pylon.
    Me, my sister and brother even used to play “guess the advert” back in the day in between kids programmes.

    Only advert related game you could really play now is spot the competent, heterosexual, Caucasian male.

  25. THEY are just trying to get us used to sleeping 50 to a house like the carpet sniffers in readiness for the 1984 take over when “We will own nothing and be fuckin chuffed about it” Fuck a sooty, squeeze out a dozen caramel half breeds and get paid 50p an hour to slave in an Amazon warehouse…and be fuckin grateful you goy cattle

  26. The ones were no one actually speaks really grind my gears.
    The pizza one.
    The tub of Quality Street in December, oop, ooop. Been funny if they’d had the stars from the early PG tips ads do it.
    A recent ad for one of those cash back on your purchases, knitted puppets and cooing, fuck me sideways.
    Are they made this way so the latest boat full can understand them?

  27. Worst TV commercial ever was for SafeStyle Windows with that shouty mouthed, northern cunt alleged comedian, Jeff Brown. ‘You buy one, you get one free…. I SAID YOU BUY ONE YOU GET ONE FREE!’ Yeah, I fucking heard you the first time, you cunt!

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