Old People

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Old people are cunts.

Not all of them but a lot are I tell thee. Spot them in the supermarket wearing their full face visors, moaning about everything and handling the food before putting it back on the shelf.

I saw one cunt this morning picking up and squeezing loaves of bread and putting them back. What a complete cunt.

They’re also fucking useless when it comes to paying at the checkout, get stuck behind one of these piss stinking fuckers and they’ll talk bollocks to the cashier and completely fuck up the card payment causing an even longer queue and also look back thinking it’s funny.

No it’s not, I hate these cunts, dawdling around thinking the world owes them something, just take your full face visor off and fucking stay at home.

Miserable cunts

Nominated by: Cunty mcfuckwit

(Interesting nomination. I suspect you will get some rather measured responses from some of the “miserable old cunts” on here. Good luck! – Day Admin)

125 thoughts on “Old People”

  1. How did you like the 1978 movie Logan’s Run CM?

    Seems like you you may be an enthusiast for it central plot theme.

    • There’s been a long-gestating remake of Logan’s Run. As Richard Pryor once said, “I saw the movie, Logan’s Run. There ain’t no black people in it. They plan on not having us around!”

  2. What fuck use are those visors? Sneeze or cough the poor cunt behind gets it.
    I am old but I have been a cunt all my life.

    • Agree Harry, being a cunt evolves over time like a fine wine. I turned forty last week and some of this sites elder statesmen are an inspiration to becoming a miserable, complaining old fucker.

      • A point in their favour surely, LDC?
        Went round Tesco’s yesterday not wearing a mask as were several others, including Tesco staff. Two coppers in the store never gave us a second glance.

  3. Bugger off Cunty. Holding up da yoof at the checkout (by which I mean anyone under 60) is one of the few pleasures in life left to me. Us old farts really enjoy getting on people’s tits.

  4. I suppose I can forgive their trepidation given that colds and flu would generally be nothing to someone young and healthy but potentially more injurious to the elderly and infirm but every time I see someone in public or in a car wearing a mask I can’t help thinking “what an utter twat”, irrespective of their age – I overheard a pair of old sows in a shop yesterday whining that they “couldn’t understand why everyone couldn’t get their vaccines so everything will be normal again” as communist horse impersonator and all round Stalinist cunt Jacinda Ardern announces there will be “no end to vaccinations and restrictions from this point”. This level of brainwashing and denying a truth right in front of them just can’t be debated, but I imagine they watch a lot of MSM.
    I want to live to a very ripe old age – not because I am afraid to die, it’s just so I can get some of the 47 years of tax and NI I will have paid in back.
    And if my pension means there is less to house dinghy invaders all the better.

  5. I’m not far off 70, but this made me smile. I often find myself muttering ” fuck sake” while some senile old trout rummages for their purse, which is at the bottom of the obligatory massive handbag filled to the brim with all kinds of crap.
    I always have my card in my hand ready, so I can tap and pay, and get the fuck out of the way.

      • Soi@ – Just do as I do – push your erect penis into them whilst muttering “the sinful will pay” like I did in Sainsburrys earlier – it’s amazing how fast they move! 😃👍
        Hang about – there’s some coppers at the door..

      • The look of astonishment when the total is rung up.

        You want me to do what now?

        Get out your fucking money!

        Dozy heifers

    • Old people are also masters at shoplifting. I saw an old codger nicking something the other day in Markies. He knew that I knew! The store detectives don’t keep a squint on them like they do with the 20-something jakey bastard in a threadbare Kappa tracksuit with a an empty Peppa Pig rucksack.

      • Don”t go shoplifting while in a wheelchair. Apparently, it’s punishable by death in Arizona.

  6. Old people maybe cunts – but id rather a fucking shop full of them over millennial fucking snowflakes

  7. Look here you young whippersnapper.

    I have the pound notes ready, in my pocket, to pay at the checkout.

    I’ve added it up in my head, and have the rough amount ready to hand over.

    You young pricks hold the queues up.

    Pratting about, wafting that Apple watch gizmo in front of that black thing at the checkout, – it never works,- and you end up looking like complete cunt in the process.

    The computer says no. Then what happens?

    You’ve got no plan B.
    No cash in your pockets.
    No brain.
    No manners, – or a thought for anyone but yourself.

    Your disorganised, and quite frankly a disgrace to society.

    • Absolutely right, Dick.
      I’d like to send da yoof back to when some things were priced in guineas. Ha! work that out, snowflake cunts.

      • Guineas was just a marketing ploy to make big goods seem cheaper.
        It was used well into the ‘60’s I reckon?

        If something was 60gns, you knew there were another 60 shillings to add on. Or another £3.

        Another con was writing sums above a £1 in shillings. Like 36/-, instead of writing £1,16/-.
        Again this was done to create the illusion that something was cheaper.

      • As was the £1.99 ploy, with the. 99 so much smaller than the £1. Until Primark came along and called bullshit!

      • Apparently. The 99p ploy was to make sure the cashier opened the till to give change and didn’t just pocket the pound notes without ringing anything in.

    • When I was at uni in the mid 80’s I worked P/T in a pub. You worked the total out in your head, no real computerised tills then and I still do it now when shopping. You ask some graduate now to add 4 and 3, you can guarantee they’d say ‘Racist!’

      • Same here-bar work in a busy pub-20 deep on a Friday or Saturday, 10 plus drinks in a round.
        The 80’s were superb😉

      • Seems to me Moggie, you were a part of the last generation who could do mental arithmetic. I have had the experience of someone younger adding items and staring in amazement as I had already dropped the exact amount on the counter. I also had one young person ask me how I did that.

      • “…had one young person ask me how I did that.”

        …because I play darts y’ slack-wit – 501 down.

      • Is it the smell Mr Mcfuckit?
        Stale piss and cough sweets?
        Or the doddering?
        Is it how hot they have their homes?
        Like a blast furnace?
        Youve said what we were all thinking!
        That nice dr Shipman tried to do something about it and they ruined him.
        You stick to your guns sunshine,
        Dont let the Last of the summer Wine gang bully you!

        Fine wine my arse!
        More like vinegar!

      • And any more cheek off you young lad, – and I’ll be up that A6 ‘tout le suite’.

        I’ll be at Disley before you have chance to put your breeches on.

        Evening Mis. 👍

      • Heehee😀👍
        Evening Dick,
        When I first came on ISAC id post shite like that,
        Youd be surprised how many took it seriously!

        “HOW DARE YOU!!!”
        😁Hehe

  9. I’m nearly 60, went shopping last week, only to realise at the (self) checkout that I’d forgotten my wallet. Luckily I had my phone with me. I told the (young) person that looks after the checkouts that “Oh, fuck, I’ve forgotten my wallet, give me a minute”. I spent a minute setting up Google Pay on my Phone (I already have a credit card logged into my Google account) and was out in about 2 minutes. All this time the YOUNG person had no fucking idea what I was doing. I’d rather deal with an old Brexiteer than some young remainer, left wing arse bandit who thinks they own the world.

    • They were probably expecting a jar of 5p’s and a roll of coupons to appear, Moggie.

      • I forgot the fucking coupons at home, then found that not only were they not for what I had bought but the bloody things had expired anyway. What a cunt.

  10. As a young man, I once took the piss out of an old cunt and was later very ashamed to find that he had been a first world war pilot who had survived ( with injuries ) a shootdown by a German Air Ace called Hans Immelman. I have never taken the piss again!

    It takes an old chap like that to make you realise what an intolerant cunt you are.

  11. Old people tend to be short on patience, bad tempered bolshy fkers.
    But that’s because they have seen it all before, had a lifetime of bullshit and lies. couldn’t give a fuck if people don’t like it and despise snowflakes.
    I can’t wait to be old and even more bad tempered and curmudgeonly – the alternative cuts down on socialising somewhat! 😃
    And if it wasn’t for old people we would have the nightmare of empty buses!

    • Some hipster I just met the other day told me I looked like a chilled old gentleman. Fucking Tosser, wrong on two fucking counts.

  12. Obviously the OP is generalising so I can do the same. Generally speaking I think it is old Wimminz he is talking about as there are far more of them for a start and it’s definitely Wimminz of all ages who do that shit at the supermarket queue rummaging around for their purse. They do the same at the ticket barrier and why wait until you are standing at the cash point before you start looking for your fucking card? They do it every fucking time.
    And it’s not old people who are remoaners, who turn up at “Pride” marches and wave their little rainbow flags at the passing mincers, who say “that Lewis Hamilton is so good for this country” and “welcome refugees.” Yeah they may be whiners and moaners but they’ve seen it all before and won’t get fooled again.
    I’m nipping out now to buy one of those visors. I had no idea they pissed so many wankers off.

  13. As someone who is over the retirement age, and I suppose could be classed as an old cunt, but I would place myself in the F1 of shoppers, get in, get round and get out at lightening speed (there is always a the risk of a unscheduled pit stop when fine tight arse is in view). Some of the fuckers I see who dither (young and middle age) checking the ingredients and generally pissing about makes my piss boil especially when they are standing in front of stuff I want to get at.

    There are some old farts who are slow but maybe they can’t help it whereas the younger shoppers have no excuse.

    • I can’t stand crowded shops, especially wearing a mask, they make me feel like I’m drowning, so I’m in and out like a burglar.

  15. A few weeks ago in the supermarket, I was overcharged, so asked for a refund. Ended up telling the young bint what the refund actually was, as she couldn’t work it out in her head.
    Old cunts always check their receipt.
    One should never underestimate old cunts, either.
    A couple of years ago, my FIL, who is a giant of a bloke and all round hard bastard, got into an altercation, in the town centre.
    Some young bloke, about fifty years his junior, called him an old fart and told him to Fuck Off.
    Next thing he knew he’d been knocked on his arse and was seeing stars. 💥⭐⭐
    ‘ Who’s an old fart now ? ‘ The FIL enquired.
    One of those ” Go on punk ” moments.
    I bet the cunt was mortified.
    Twatted by an OAP. 😂😂😂

      • He he, you can imagine old boxers or strongmen like Geoff Capes will be hard bastards all their lives. I wonder if Fiddler will get a Mad Max style grill on his scooter in his dotage, shunting young and old aside. Evening Jack.

  16. Old cunts should be restricted from not driving between 06.00 and 09.30 and between 14.30 and 16 30 hours.

    I am sick and fucking tired of getting stuck behind old Doris and her crumbly chums in their Kia Picanto doing 18mph in a 30 and not going round parked buses so they can get the latest copy of What’s On TV magazine and their minging fish and chips.

    All my parents / grandparents etc are long gone and turned to ash but I also remember them smelling of cabbage and eating disgusting things like tongue, dripping and oxo cubes in boiling water…nasty

  17. Some cretinous yoof behind the till: “That’ll be £17.23 please”
    Me: “Here take this” hands asbo £22.23
    Asbo: “What’s this?”
    Me: “Just punch into the till will you”
    Asbo turns white with fear as he hands me a fiver, visibly shaken by the black magic.
    Every fucking time. Under 50 .. several neurons short of a fucking synapse more like.

    • The look of confusion on their faces!

      I do it regularly. Always got lots of shrapnel to use up, and to get rid of.

      If something is £19.88 for example, give them four fivers and the 88p in coins.

      It astonishes them why you’d want a pound coin back.

      • Probably because they’ve never known the discomfort of wondering whether the change in their pockets could cause their trousers to drop. Well that’s what I told plod the last time anyways.

    • I’ve tried that a few times. The gormless youths didn’t know what game I was playing at

  18. It’s cool to see an old cunt in his 70s with a wife in her 30s. Instant respect! (for him). He probably tells her she’s the sole beneficiary in the will but secretly leaves her out. 🖕💀

  19. Being stuck behind an oldie in a car is no joke.Worse than sitting next to the smelly wankers.

    • I’m slow now, because my eyesight is shit.

      But I drive even slower if I look like I’m holding you up.

      And if your wearing lycra, I might not see you until the last minute.

  20. Don’t worry, Cunty, there will not be any old people once this Covids shit is over. Health checks for over 75s are suspended to enable focus on worthless booster aimed at stopping the pathetic moronic variant for five minutes. Loneliness, undetected/undiagnosed cancers, suicides, fuel price hikes….

    Of course, there will be lots of younger people who will not be around either because of the experimental vakzines.

    Put your masks back on and go fuck yoursleves.

  21. Knock knock knocking on heavens 🚪. Fuck off youngsters if you are under 60 you know the square root of fuck all.
    Just be clear on that.

  22. I am an old cunt. It has taken fucking years to become this bitter, twisted and curmudgeonly. I take pride in my cuntitude.
    I shop with speed and purpose. Always keep up with the rate the fuckers on Aldi tills throw the stuff at me and still have my card ready. Young fuckers glued to phones are the fucking problem. And parking stanleys and kaffirs.

  24. I’m turned 70, but I’m not old.

    (I wonder who the oldest cunt is on here? MY money is on old Limply Stoke at 80 – Day Admin)

  25. Funny, isn’t it, Ron.
    On the age of decrepitude, but don’t feel old.
    It’s weird, but in my mind I’m not old. Maybe because I haven’t gone senilly, not as yet, which is prevelent in the paternal side. Unfortunately, Sis is showing signs. Maybe I take after the maternal side. Hardy Scots the lot.
    I’m rambling, I may have to re think the senilly bit.
    What was I saying? Oh, yes….

  26. We oldies should start a group.
    We could call it The Old Dogs Grumbling Everyday Revival.
    TODGER, for short.
    Put it on a banner, wave it about!

    • I play guitar. Let’s start a crock n roll group.
      The Strolling Bones are still at it. So’s Sir Clifford, Phil Collins and Elton Bogg.
      There’s some drinking money in it I reckon.

      ‘And now, ladies and gentlemen, we are proud to present … The Coffin Dodgers!!’.

      (thunderous applause!).

      (Who’s on drums, keyboard, bass, triangle and vocals? – Day Admin)

  27. I’m 32 and prefer older people because they have earnt their money by smacking typewriter keys all their lives maybe that’s a new benefit. Typewriterscolisosism. Can’t even finger their own pussys now after looking after snowflakes shite.

    • I was always getting two letter hammers wedged together on the typewriter.

      You had to flick them back with your fingers.

      No room for mistakes either.

      There was a special rubber for the ink, but it smudged and looked shite.

      A depressing red line appeared when the ink reel wanted changing.

      (And then there was all the faffing about with correcting fluid/Tippex – Day Admin)

      • Can Millennials even write using a fountain pen?

        Serious question.

        Remember sucking the ink out of the desk wells at school, and then flicking it all over Jamie Poulton.

        Jamie,- if your listening, I’m sorry, you were unfortunate to be sat in front of me.

      • Yes, I actually used a fountain pen on school albeit not in a well. With a cartridge. It’s called progress. Luckily I was right handed. Left handed people had no chance, now a days you got all sorts of snazzy gadgets it’s great.

      • The ink never took to the tippex though.

        It just sort of splashed a letter onto it.

        It looked really wank then.

      • Good old red ink, original to the core. I hope your Typewriterscolisosism clears up soon.

  29. A well-known proverb – ‘Better to be old and wise than young and foolish’.

    I’m old but I don’t hold people up at the checkout, that annoys me too. Old people can be annoying but usually it’s young people who get on my tits with their arrogance and impatience. Small-minded cunts who can’t understand people who aren’t on the internet, or who don’t have a mobile phone. They’ve decided everybody’s got to be like them and think like them or they’re just useless..

  30. Do you know what I hate is not try before you buy, is actual liars to get married and are like swans. I’m jealous of swans,I’m not jealous of wimmizs beasting man.

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