The National Woke Theatre of Scotland

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“Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s arts correspondent Ron Knee reporting. As some of our followers may be aware, the National Theatre of Scotland has banned the use of the word ‘spooky’ from future productions. Today I’m joined by Tabatha Wryght-Onn, the company’s Director of Linguistics Protocol, to discuss what some might regard as a rather odd decision”.

“Yah, well hi Ronnie. Er, may I call you Ronnie? Is that a suitable form of address? Just let me make a note of your chosen personal pronouns…”.

“Don’t worry about that, our followers don’t go in for that sort of thing. Perhaps we can cut to the chase, with you telling us just what’s going on here”.

“Okay yah. We feel most strongly that the word ‘spooky’ can be seen as having racist connotations, so it jolly well has to go”.

“What? Has anyone actually complained when you’ve used the term in previous productions?”.

“Erm, well, like no, but we’re concerned that it could become problematic acshully. Thinking progressively, it’s vital that we ruthlessly interrogate language for historically oppressive connotations that cannot be permitted or tolerated…”.

“This is bizarre. As far as I’m aware, the term ‘spooky’ has never had any racist undertones whatever in Britain. A ‘spook’ is a ghost, or latterly a term for a spy. You’re just creating a problem where one doesn’t even exist. It’s a ludicrous piece of virtue signalling that can only do more harm than good”.

“Hmmph! That’s just the sort of reactionary response one would expect from someone as male, pale and stale as you! I suggest you check your privilege!”.

“And that’s the sort of reaction I would expect from a culture wars radical like you. I suggest you check your arsehole, to see if you can find your head up it”.

“Really! I’m not staying here to be insulted by a racist and a bigot!”.
*storms off in a huff*.

“Well it looks as though she’s headed back to where she usually goes. So there we have it; the nation’s decline into loony leftism continues. This is Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio”.

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Nominated by: Ron Knee

82 thoughts on “The National Woke Theatre of Scotland”

    • If you asked a hundred black blokes if they found the term spooky offensive,
      They wouldn’t have a clue what the fuck you were on about.
      This is the brainchild of some little woke bedwetter stirring the shite.
      And if they DID find it offensive?
      So fuckin what?
      Get a tissue you mardarse.

  2. Ron , that’s the best bit of reporting all year👏👏😂😂
    You got to the heart of the matter
    A journalistic award awaits

    • Thanks Mecuntry.
      I heard a whisper that I’m in the running for ‘Cunt Journalist of the Year’ in this year’s ‘Cunt of the Year’ awards.
      Of course I don’t want to sound as tho it’s in the bag, but just let me say how much I love all of you who’ll be voting for me, and my parents, and my wife, whom I love very much as often as I can these days, and God, and of course Admin, without whom none of this would be possible.
      And God bless Amurcur, and woke cunts everywhere, for giving us all such a fucking laugh, the cunts.
      Thank you. I love you all.

  3. When the Wokerati have finished taking offence at any and every word in the English language, are we only going to be able to communicate in grunts?

      • I have a solution! We can all
        A. Communicate by writing notes on edible paper, which should be immediately consumed once read, in case there are hurty words, or
        B. Use a talking computer device, a la Hawkin, and if it says a hurty word we can blame it on Apple/ Windows wank programming!

        There you go, problem solved.

  5. That breaking news ‘air pollution up due to cop 26’ flash made me fucking piss myself. I just find everything hilarious now 😂

    • India have gone for 2070, well that’s OK because by all the predictions they will be underwater by then 😂

      #handsoffmyfuckinggasboiler

    • You just knew it was going to happen, all those delegates ( freeloaders and liggers), all arriving in planes, well they didn’t fucking row here in a dugout or a Vicking longship, did they.

      • Viking, not Vicking.

        Got Vicks on my mind atm, it’s just fallen out my nose. This fucking cold!

  6. I guess they won’t be doing a stage version of the Addams Family

    Spooky 👻

    Maybe the BBC should apologise for the Spooks series, racist bastards 🕶

    • I think the American title of ‘Spooks’ is the ultra-original ‘MI5’. Don’t know if it was because BBC America thought the Septics didn’t know the term referred to spies, or because some woke cunt said it would offend somebody somewhere.

  8. Oh dear, didn’t the BBC have a spy show called Spooks?

    It says more about these language Nazis that the first thing they think of is a racial slur for a black person when hearing “spook”. Anyway it sounds quite retro, like from Scooby-Doo.

    “Shaggy call the cops! Thelma is getting arse drilled by those two spooks in the the back of the Mystery Machine”.

  9. There would not be one black person that……

    a) Would be offended by the word ‘spooky’.

    And

    b) Needs some woke halfwit to stand up for them.

  10. These cunts,amongst many many others,must spend all day combing through every kind of media they can lay hands on to discover something new to be offended by.

    Hopefully they will go bankrupt and their theatre of shite will burn to the ground.

  11. Why are there so many nick-names for our brethren of colour? I can think of almost a dozen.

    • They have many more for white people.

      And if we put our minds to it we could make a fucking huge lists of words that ‘offend’ us when spoken by someone who is not white.

      • I don’t mind cracker or honkey as they sound a bit funny. We have the best racial slurs anywhere in the world, not just for the jiggers but any Johnny Foreigner.

  12. To all lefties and libtards whom I have previously offended and who I may offend in the future; please may I issue the following statement:
    Fuck you!!!

    • For any hes missed be patient.
      He’ll get round to you as soon as possible in these difficult times.

  13. When Jockland goes independent it will quickly become the woke epicentre of the world, the cunts are already half way there

    • Just seen a report on gb news, the church if Scotland are going to apologise for witchcraft deaths ….. 400 years ago 😂😂😂

      • Has anyone told Dick Fiddler? There will be mobs with flaming torches and pitchforks at the gates of the Towers demanding reparations.

      • I think he has gone off to sharpen his sword, a nice excuse to swat a few more peasants 🗡

  15. I asked a random elderly “Person Of Colour”, in the supermarket, if they found the word “Spooky”, offensive?

    She replied:

    “Welllllllll know, young man! Was dis yoos saying? Spooky? Shiiiit no! Dats not offensive, m’ha ha ha! When I waas a lickle gurl, in, um, Jamaaaica, we never gotten ourselves upset with words. No sir, not I Constance Rubberlips-Sugarbeet, nor my brothers, Chickenshit, Wardeeemelon and Milky!”

    There you go-not offensive at all👍

  16. We will only have truly succeeded in purging our horrid racist language of all offending words, when we learn to communicate with each other using pops, yodels, clicks and whistles.
    It’s good to see adverts on commercial television, making a start.
    Dominohoohooos …………
    Get To Fuck.

    • That’s how the darkıes get rescued in the English Channel at night, Jack. Their peculiar clicks and whistles that they use when cannibilising their neighbours in the next grass hut comes in handy for when they’ve put some flip-flops on their knuckles and made the trip north to get into Europe because it resembles morse code so the lifeboat can find them.
      Then the border farce can put them all in a 5* hotel in Dover (stepping over a cold and hungry homeless forces veteran on the way).

      • It’s a fucking jungle out there.
        Are there any more hotel rooms left in Dover ?
        Evening, Thomas

    • Interesting question, GT, may I suggest that I suspect it’s all the hot air this bunch of lentil consuming, tofu knitting, recycled string macrame pot holder manufacturers are emitting.
      I wonder what damage they are doing to the Ozone layer?

  18. Isnt spook a term blacks used for whites? Thinking of an old Hot Chocolate (now there’s a racist name) song;-

    What’s goin’ on?
    Well, we’re in love
    Now listen, let me tell you
    I don’t want no spook in my family
    Get it, no spook in my family

    From Brother Louie, the spook is a whitey.

  21. Splendid nom, Ron.

    Maybe the Scottish Theatre twats should learn to act like fucking grown ups.

    • Thanks TT.
      The worst part of this ‘pre-emptive strike’ wokeism is the fact that it gives the perpetually offended (on somebody else’s behalf) brigade yet another thing to go in a huff about. Which of course they’d never even thought about until these cunts brought it up…

  23. I will not be pushed, filed, stamped, indexed, briefed, debriefed, labelled, numbered, cancelled, or told that the word “spooky” is waycist.

    My vocabulary is my own – fuck off!

  24. Funny, how these theatrical woke tosspots will accept a real former English King as portrayed by a mouthy female treeswinger (Richard II) without batting an eyelid.

    Yet they are upset about the word ‘Spooky’? Cunts of the highest order.

  25. May I also say that the once excellent What Records is now off my shopping list and are now on my cunts list.

    What was one of the best places for newly released LPs, and I have ordered a good few albums off them over the years. But now they are promoting (wait for it!) Black History Month with a load of black only records.

    Black History Month? Which fucking one for a start? Isn’t every month now Black History Month? I lose track of how many Black History Months there actually are. And will What Records be doing a White History Month? Nah, I thought not…
    What Records should now be called Woke Records, and they can now fuck off.

    https://www.whatrecords.co.uk/pre-orders.htm

  26. I got sacked from my job as a theatre set designer today. I was summoned to HR, fired on the spot for being completely unproductive and then escorted of the premises.
    I didn’t make a scene….

  27. Again some fucking white cunt is talking for the dark keys. Scotland?? Had some great Jock mates in the past, but now, nuke the shit pit. Cunts everyone.

    • I have a relative lives in Glasgow who’d quite happy to go postal on the Wokerati.
      They are despised and referred to as heid the baws, which I understand is translated as nutters.

  28. O/T. Apologies admin.

    Boris the jellyfish backed down aginst the frogs. Jersey issued more licences to EU boats until Christmas. Apparently.

    If true.This cunt needs to go. He’s a fucking disgrace to the flag and country, blonde fat Turkish spineless bastard,

    • With any luck, the Aussies will nuke the cheese-eating surrender monkeys.
      Macron is an infected pustule, and his poodle Beaune looks to be a downmarket Harry Halfwit.

  29. I was waiting expectantly for apocolyptic cliches at Glasgow and have not been disappointed; Johnson- ‘It is one minute to twelve’, Prince Charles- ‘we are in the last chance saloon’.

    • They are cunts indeed, I just wish Jordan Peterson was invited
      “Hello are you giving up your mobile anytime soon , taught so Greta’s of the saviors “
      Cunt fuck em all , for they know what they do , but drag us on a road to religion

    • I seem to remember the jug-eared cunt saying something similar about 1980ish…
      I await with interest to see what ‘sacrificies’ he’s going to make to do his bit.

    • I thought I saw a Sorearse… but it was the Attenbore.
      Then I saw someone falling up the steps. No, it wasn’t shit-pants Bidet, but the man likely to be our next monarch.
      It seems a turnip-headed goblin is on the loose in Glasgow. Not for the first time.
      Christ, I am DEPRESSED.
      What a load of shit.

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