“Good afternoon. This is IsAC’s political correspondent Ron Knee, reporting to you from the Scottish parliament building in Edinburgh, where supporters of Scottish independence have gathered once more. I’m joined today by Mr Angus McCoatupp, who’s chairman of the Nicola Sturgeon Appreciation Society. Tell us Mr McCoatupp, do you expect to achieve anything specific today?”.
“Aye well reet. Wuz hee-rur fae tae make oor view plain ken. See youse, thu-rrs thoosunds, thoosunds and thoosunds, hunners o’ thoosunds o’ pee-pull fae all corr-unners o’ the cuntry, fae tae tell Wustmenstair tae do wun”.
“Hundreds of thousands? The Council estimate is twenty thousand maximum. Anyway Mr McCoatupp, have you come far today?”.
“Aye, ah’ve cam all th’ way fae London worsel’. Ah reside there fae tae earn ma livin’ ken”.
I see, no irony there then. So, having failed to achieve your objective in 2014, you’re now going all out for a second referendum, no doubt”.
“Aye, an’ a th-rudd, an’ a for-ruth, ’til wuz get whut wuz wunt ken”.
“So you don’t think that the outcome of the 2014 referendum was valid then, as it didn’t produce the result you wanted? If it had gone your way, would you have given any credence to calls for a ‘peoples’ vote’ to endorse the terms of separation once they were agreed?”.
“Awa’ an’ bile yer heid. A ‘yes’ vote wudda bin th’ TRUE voice o’ th’ pee-pull o’ Scortlund. Any trai-turrus cunts an’ quislings who widnae accept et wudda got th’ fookin’ heids kicked en”.
“So let me get this straight. The only referendum that you’re prepared to regard as valid is the one that gives you the outcome that you want”.
“Aye, an’ whit th’ fook’s it gort tae dee wi’ youse anyhoo, ya Anglish twat? Fook off back doon sooth wi’ th’ rest o’ th’ cunts. Ah, floo-ruh o’ Scortlund…”.
“Well, I’m sure that all our followers will be delighted to receive that cordial greeting from north of the border. This is Ron Knee, for IsAC, returning you to the studio”.
Nominated by: Ron Knee