Have you been Affected?

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“IF YOU’VE BEEN AFFECTED BY…”

FFS I have to get this off my chest because it’s getting right up my hooter. “If you been affected by…”

Every program on the idiot box these day starts with a warning “May contain scenes of violence which some people may find disturbing” at the start of a murder mystery drama or the like. It’s about a murder FFS. What the hell do you expect it to contain?

These are bad enough but then at the end of every program the good ol’ BBC sticks up “If you been affected by any of the issues raised in this program then tough fucking shite mate!” (OK I made the last bit up but you get my drift)

Last night’s particularly woke and trendy right on episode of Holby Shitty linked into climate change and COP26. That was bad enough, but then they have to introduce an eco aware dying 11 year old banging on about his death making a difference to the eco cause. Thundercunt at her best.

And then we get the message “If you’ve been affected” etc etc. Blah Blah Blah Run for your safe spaces you soft fuckers because if you’ve been effected by any of the issues raised in this program then frankly you’re a woke snowflake cunt with no brain.

Fuck off BBC and take your irritating right-on down with the kids inane shite messages with you…

Nominated by:Dioclese

64 thoughts on “Have you been Affected?”

  1. The spouses soaps are littered with such remarks during the playout. Some old biddy soils her incontinence knickers and ….. if you have been affected by Maud’s story…..

    If people are so weak they can’t even put their tongue in cheek over Emmerdale Farm, then they ought to stick to watching the News In Welsh

  2. “This programme contains outdated language”.

    This warning preceeded an episode of Porridge on the Yesterday channel recently. Well, why the fuck would you watch programmes on Yesterday if you were easily offended by 70s humour?

    My pet piss boiler.

    • They do this all the time on Radio 4 Extra, where the woke brigade has taken over. It is “outdated attitudes” for a Les Dawson mother-in-law joke, and “inappropriate langauge” if somebody refers to one of the wimminz characters as a “bitch” – which they often are.

      I often feel today’s snowflakes ought to stick to CBeebies and sucking on their mum’s knockers – certainly not listening to radio now “Listen With Mother” is discontinued.

      • Objection, your Honour! The title of ‘Mother’ may not necessarily be confined to the person, or beast, that said cunt gestated in!

      • Who is that decides what constitutes ‘inappropriate language’?
        I’d like to meet them ,destroy their flimsy logic prior to tearing them another arse hole and delivering them to Unkle Terry.

  3. ” If you’ve been affected by anything you’ve read on ISAC, Fuck Off ”
    Good morning.

  4. Is it Netflix that put a list at the top left of the screen about all the terrible things you that a programme contain?

    They have the normal stuff like sex, violence, drug taking etc., but they now include ‘smoking’.

    On normal TV I remember the warning that ‘The following programme contains scenes of peril’ before an American police drama being shown after midnight.

    Once there was ‘This programme contains scenes of flared tempers’ before an episode of The Hotel Inspector.

    The TV stations are under no obligation to issue these idiotic warnings.
    They just try to outwoke each other.

    • I phoned the one pictured (Grenfell towers) due to getting a stitch and a outbreak of the giggles.
      And you know what?

      They wasn’t sympathetic at all.

      • I think that the warning ‘This programme contains scenes of flared trousers’ is entirely justified.

      • I rang the Grenfell towers line up too MNC.

        I told them I was very concerned about the carbon footprint produced by all those immigrants burning.

        They told me the cladding produced much more toxic fumes than the immigrants. I replied by saying, “you obviously haven’t been in the company of many peacefuls lately – and the cladding on my garage smells lovely”

        The cunts hung up.

    • I think those warnings should be a bit more descriptive, just to help people decide if it’s worth the time. Her and example:
      Warning: The following program actually does contain nudity! In fact, there’s a fucking shed full of nudity, and we’re not just talking a bit of bush. It’s full on ‘Caligula-unedited’ flange with all spunk flying about the place, to boot! Also, lots of swearing like you’d hear in your local pub. Racism? Are you kidding me! It’s like being on the terraces at Millwall, which covers the violence angle, too! So if you’re a snowflake, best you fuckoff to YouTube and watch vids of kittens doing funny stuff!

  5. They should have one before PMQ’s

    “This programme contains images of corrupt lying parasites, themes of back-stabbing, hubris and sleaze”.

  6. I think they had a warning on an episode before Countryfile whilst in lambing season. As if they viewer expects a new born lamb to pop out all fluffy with a bow on. It would be of more use forewarning people of that cunt Anita Rani or John Craven flogging his fucking calendars.

    • ” As if they viewer expects a new born lamb to pop out all fluffy with a bow on”….I’m sure there are some sad Cunts who think just that…and also believe that “Larry Da Ickle Lambikins” then goes straight of to Nursery school with his fwiends ” Colin da Calf”,”Paulie Piglet” and “Fwankie Da Fox” where they all play together watched over by Old Mother Goose…..That’s if the thick Cunts know what a lamb actually is,of course.

      Tally Ho,Toodle Pip and Fuck Off.

      Morning,LL
      Morning,All.

      • I wish that was Fanny….I’d be at her like a pig at a slop-bucket.

        Trouble is that horses are big beasts and can be stubborn…it may sound hard but sometimes the only way to get through to them is with a smack….not that the Lady in question is really hammering the beast. Horses,rather like children,don’t always respond to a ” Oh, come on Darling, please do what Mummy asks”.

        Horse bite at one end,kick at the other and the bit in the middle isn’t too clever either….they are also too strong to sweet-talk,I’m afraid. I once wrapped a fencing-rail around the arse of a horse that wouldn’t load..it wasn’t frightened of loading…it was just being fucking awkward…..kicking out and just building itself into a lather…either it was going to hurt itself or it was going to hurt the people trying to load it….never had any trouble loading it after the fence-rail incident…good as gold every time.
        I’d be very interested to know how the yammering moaners would deal with a very large,obstinate beast….probably the same way as they’d attempt to teach their children some manners….they’d give up and let the child/animal win.

        Morning,RTC
        Morning,All

      • Excellent post.
        The softly-softly approach is what has completely fucked up classrooms and therefore, society.

        *funnily enough, I saw that clip on young Bellfields YouTube channel and my first thought was: is she in Northumberland?😉

      • Morning,General.

        A lot of people fail to realise that animals can be like small ( and big) children..awkward for no good reason and will only get worse if not checked. Some animals need to learn boundaries for their own sake and that of their owner.

        I’d also say that if anyone imagines that the horse in the clip is seriously bothered by a woman bitch-slapping and half-heartedly kicking it, they fail to realise just what a big strong animal a horse actually is…fuck me, my Granny could deliver a sounder beating and she’s been dead 40 years.

    • Anita Rani, don’t get many of those foreigner names in the sticks, that’s what makes the urbanites jealous, beautiful Anglo Saxon harmony all around without bulb headed Cuprinol cunts everywhere

  7. Good nomination, I totally agree it gets on my fucking tits too. Ffs the other week I watched an old fucking B and W western on YouTube to have me warned that it contained language with might be offensive. Cunts.

  8. Give it a few more months and it will be extended to include most everything the Wokes disagree with…

    smoking
    meat eating
    dairy products
    booze
    prostitution
    England flags
    national anthem
    speaking English
    white working classes
    petrol/diesel cars
    shouting
    staring
    touching
    long words
    speaking without written permission
    dieting
    thinking the wrong things
    voting for the wrong people
    wearing the wrong clothes

    Basically we’ll end up with a totalitarian state of 1984 all over again, just so that we can give nice touchy-feely safe places for our delicate snowflakes.

  9. Mustn’t cause offence.
    If you are upset the government will look after you.

    Pathetic shitting weasels.

  10. If you have been affected by BBC left wing propaganda and general woke fuck- stickery then fuck off – DG of the BBC.

  11. “Outdated attitudes”. Not to me they’re not! Who decided that?
    And if Eastbenders producers are worried that their latest storylines of domestic violence, rape, buggery, lesbianism, drug use and alcoholism shown at 7.30 in the evening may offend, don’t fucking produce it then! You know full well it’s going to shock some of the lilly livered wimminz and teens that watch your shit, that’s the whole point. Putting up helpline phone numbers at the end is about a disingenuous as Boris saying he loves Britain.

    • Eastenders has been like that for 30 years…back when I was young and dim and used to watch that shite, they were heavily promoting fa99otry and tuppence lickers, the dirty sods.

    • The term ‘Outdated attitudes is the sort of arrogance the woke media class fail to realise is alienating the general public.

      Fucking avocado-licking idiots.

  12. I don’t particularly watch very much TV but you can’t help but notice more and more of this “if you’ve been affected” crap appearing after programmes,or lists of trigger warnings for the easily offended.

    The Mrs watches Holby shitty on occasion (lord only knows why or how).
    That, Eastenders and Corrie.
    During Eastenders last week some dreadlocked darkey youth (surprise surprise) was lecturing/educating these two, seemingly clueless white blokes (naturally) about the perils of climate change.
    Yep – welcome aboard the very latest woke fear train ladies, gents and plebs – the climate.
    What a crock of shit.

    Speaking of trigger warnings – maybe the likes of Beeb and Sky could apologise in advance for the multitude of sporting cunts virtue signalling for terrorist organisations and dead career criminals.

    • It’s really quite annoying when the BBC (and others) manage to shoe-horn trendy wokisms into soap storylines. Which is all very well, but the BBC purports to be balanced objective broadcaster (yeah, whatever!) so you would think it would also shoe-horn in an opposing viewpoint on such things as say climate change and immigration.

      But of course they don’t. Therefore you only ever get one side of the story, and woe betide if you try to take an opposing view.

      • It’s payback for Brexit. Any attempt at impartiality has simply disappeared. The viewers need to told what to think about every issue, and which issues are worth discussing.

        A complete PC freak-for-all.

  13. I personally have been very badly affected by the Grenfell Fire, and I claim compensation for my trauma. I am a personal friend of David Lammy, but have not shagged Diane Abbott unlike Jezzer who has.

    Please forward by considerable Cheque to my new residence which is (now) The London Hilton . You may collect my Rubber Dinghy at your earliest convenience, but I intend to keep my RNLI Life Preserver, as I am very fond of its colour and its Badge.

    Please make haste with your payment, as I may be relocating quite soon, to more comfortable ( at your expense ) accommodation.

    I expect my citizenship in the same post.

    Yours Faithfully

    Musthaveacrapsoon.

  14. And who decides what “an outdated attitude” really is? Is it an individual? A committee of cunts sitting round a desk? Or whatever is trending on social media (or more specifically Twatter and perhaps the Guardian)?

    Imagine if they tried that sort of thing in Iran, Iraq, Saudi Arabia or Afghanistan – lambasting people for their “outdated attitudes”.

    “This is the BBC World Service. The programme you’re about to listen to – “The Six Pillars of Iman” contains various outdated attitudes that may cause offence. If you’ve been affected by this, please contact your local Ayatollah.”

  15. The F’ck’? uran should come with a warning.
    “What a load of shit.”
    Last night, virtually 100% of the ads were blatantly woke, poovey, or pushing green technology (Vaillant)…
    I am sure my piss reached a high enough temperature to start the long-awaited and elusive fusion reaction.

  16. Why can’t most of the BBC output nowadays come with a warning of it containing updated modern woke attitudes that may cause offence. That would be a much better service to their majority audience
    They could do it with their news output too, or Islington Calling as it is normally referred.
    As for all the woke adverts, well the only thing that they make me think of buying is PG Tips.
    Coo-eee, Mr Shifter…

  17. LOL … makes you wonder how Squid Game became so fuckin popular when it seems that the world is too soft to watch something like that. BTW I thought it was great … if anyone had any doubts as to whether gambling might be bad for your health … SG says yeah a bit. 😂
    ⏹⏺🔼 🇰🇷

  18. They don’t give a shite.

    I wrote to the BBC to tell them I was affected by them putting so many w 0gs on the telly. Told ’em I thought I’d been teleported to Africa.
    Did they try to make me feel better?

    Did they fuck.

  19. TV schedule listings for 2030:

    9.am. Caves under the hammer.

    Rastus umbongo and Tariq Groomer help a white couple from Preston, develop a 12×10 sandstone cave. Into their dream family space, complete with arse-source heat pump.

    10 am. Call to prayer.

    As our national makes its third, compulsory honour to The Prophet of the day.

    12.00. National news.

    Presented by L’feya Nose-bone and Asif Igivafuk.

    1.00pm. Network shutdown to conserve the grid.

    6.00pm. Wimminz hour.

    This week, Greta Mongberg is the studio Guest of Dianne Flabbott, Sophie Dark-key and Carrie Symonds.

    7.00pm. Top of the pops.

    Marcus Rashthoughts educates the nation on why Afro-Caribbean men, make the best fathers.

    7.30pm. Eastenders.

    Dirty Dennis Umbongo catches a white male in Londanistab.
    The Residents of David Lammy Square take him to The Queen Latifa, where community leaders and the local Iman pass sentence under sharia law-where he is sentenced to death for “blatant caucasity”.

    (Warning: some of our younger viewers may find scenes of a white nature disturbing)

    8.00. The great British wank-off. Celebrity Special.

    Jay Blades and Tessa Sanderson encourage special guests Lewis Hamilcunt, David Lammy and Linford Christie, who have 60 minutes to “decorate” as many cakes as possible.

    9.00pm Question Time.

    Presented by Femi Omiwole.
    This weeks guests are Prime Minister Sadiq Khunt, former POTUS Me-again Markles, Minister of re-education Dawn Butler and comedian Sophie Dark-Key.
    Filmed front of a black and Asian audience, from a cross section of the United Kingdom of Ethnics.

    10.00. Evening Prayer.

    10.30. Curfew.

    Programmes resume at the usual time tomorrow.

    (If anybody has been affected by the content of today’s broadcasts, please move to Poland, along with all the white, former inhabitants of this island)

  20. The one that boils my water is ‘this programme contains outdated language and attitudes’.
    Oh, so who decided that then?
    These wankers should do one. They need to be told in no uncertain terms to fuck off. Far away off.

    Morning all.

  21. My long suffering wife informed me that I became very affected after Holby city because I could not figure out what I was supposed to be affected by. Sometimes life is hard.

  24. Counselling.
    The biggest growth industry in modern day Blighty. The poor shell shocked thousands returning from WW2 just got on with it : the suggestion they’d need help after watching a fucking TV show indeed……

    • I sometimes need a bit of ‘help’ after an hour or so watching xhamster.
      Counselling’s not what helps, tho.

      • Ho Ho Ho Ron!
        A whole hour uninterrupted?!
        Now that is a luxury I can envy you!

        Put these Goddesses in order of preference
        • Christy Canyon
        • Amber Lynn
        • Jeannie Pepper
        • Sarah Young
        • Desiree Cousteau
        • Susan Hart

        (And if you’ve never heard of them by god you’ve got a treat in store!)

  26. When I hear at the start of a film “This film contains scenes of violence, nudity and bad language” I just think jolly good, bring it on then.

  27. If you are affected by smug virtue-signalling, biased presenters, piss-weak storywriting, liberties taken with the historical record and idiot women and gaylords crying over burnt cupcakes and flapping their hands in front of their stretched, plucked and painted faces, you shouldn’t bother watching telly.

    It’s fuckin’ shite.

  28. I was very badly affected by a programme I saw recently.

    No inter racial families.
    No middle aged gammon male being outsmarted by his wife / teenage, or six year old daughter.
    No hidden or blatant woke messages.
    No close up vomiting scene.
    No rampant gay or lesbian sex.

    Then my alarm clock went off…

  29. Yes I’m affected, by the patronising vitue signalling messages that precede and are played at the ebd off virtually every programme.
    It’s not only to do with virtue signalling. It’s also do do with law suits and compensation claims.

    ” Dear program controller.
    My little Princess Anna Ella was so traumatised by your programme ( insert your favourite after the watershed programme here) that she refused to eat her Mcdonald Breakfast Wrap this morning. Only a million pounds can make my 3 year old better. Please make the cheque payable to ” my drug dealer”

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