Depressing Songs

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IsAC aficionados may possibly recall previous occasions when I’ve had a go at some ‘category’ of song which has pissed me off. I’ll have heard ‘Yesterday’ or ‘My Way’ on the radio, and gone off on one about ‘done to death’ songs. ‘Release Me’ will get me ranting about boring songs. ‘Honey’ or ‘Escape (the Pina fucking Colada Song)’ will start my motor running on the subject of nauseating or irritating songs.

Well today I added a new category to my ‘hate’ list collection; depressing songs. I was doing a bit of decorating in the kitchen, and an ‘oldies’ channel was belting them out; the Fabs, the Four Tops, Fleetwood Mac… great stuff. Then flaming arseholes, on came this right old pile of cunt; ‘in the year 6565 won’t need no husband won’t need no wife, pick your son and your daughter too, from the bottom of a long glass tube woe woe’.

Woe woe indeed. It was an effort called ‘In The Year 2525’ by a couple of cunts named Zager and Evans, which got to no.1 in 1969 I think. The wife, who was making coffee, did her Nan Taylor impersonation and opined “what a depressing load of old shit!”.

Indeed. Which begs the question, who forked out good money to listen to such a morbid sack of cack? Naturally this got us started on other miserablist tunes which have dampened our enthusiasm over the years. “Sinead O’Connor, ‘Nothing Compares 2 U’ ” said the wife. “Or what about Clapton’s ‘Tears In Heaven’, or ‘Famous Blue Raincoat’ by Leonard Cohen? In fact, just about anything by Leonard Cohen…”.

I quickly added ‘Alone Again (Naturally)’ from Gilbert O’Sullivan. Who could resist such inspiring lyrics as ‘I promise myself to treat myself and visit a nearby tower, and climbing to the top, will throw myself off…’. Or what about Michael Andrews’ heart-warming rendition of ‘Mad World’, you know, ‘the dreams in which I’m dying are the best I’ve ever had’. Wasn’t that a Christmas no.1, along with that seasonally uplifting ditty ‘Another Brick In The Wall’ from Pink Floyd?

“Don’t forget The Verve’s ‘the drugs don’t work they just make you worse’ ” chimed in the missus again. “Oh, and ‘Mother Of Mine’ from that twat Neil Reid, and ‘I wasn’t there when my father passed away, I didn’t get to tell him all the things I had to say’. Mike and the bloody Mechanics”.

And on it went, listing all those songs which when played, can suck all the warmth and joy out of the sunniest summer day. I think we came up with enough choices to get us well on the way to a ‘Now That’s What I Call Depressing Music’ compilation.

So fellow cunters, if there’s a song which makes you want to lie in a warm bath and open a vein when you hear it, please feel free to add it to the collection. The more the merrier, and with a bit of luck, we could get it into the shops in time for Christmas…

Nominated by: Ron Knee

196 thoughts on “Depressing Songs”

  1. Leonard Cohen- the number of times I told a girl that I loved his music just to shag her is beyond count.
    Should I , fifty years on, feel guilty?

  2. Ron, ‘Where is the Love’, yes that pile of poo poo from that bunch of cunts Black Eyed Peas, Will I fucking ain’t!

  3. I love Neil Young, but Jaysus, ‘The Needle and the Damage Done’ is another to add to my ‘suicide watch’ list.
    A song can be sad and melancholy, but still be beautiful and haunting; ‘The Long and WInding Road’ and ‘Early Morning Rain’ come to mind as songs I could never tire of.
    But others cross that line into morose miserableness which have me reaching for the Glenfiddich.
    Utterly subjective of course, and a matter of personal taste, but I’d bet that everybody’s got a song or two that really lowers their spirits when they hear it.

    Afternoon cunters.

  4. I imagine there are a lot of lengths of rope sold wherever Pink Floyd and Radiohead band members live..

  6. That regurgitated dirge Dame Elton warble at Dianas funeral. Such a great pal of hers, he couldn’t even write a new song, the fat, sweaty, balding cunt.

  9. Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get what I Want
    by The Smiths.

    Good times for a change
    See, the luck I’ve had
    Can make a good man
    Turn bad
    So please, please, please
    Let me, let me, let me
    Let me get what I want
    This time
    Haven’t had a dream in a long time
    See, the life I’ve had
    Can make a good man bad
    So for once in my life
    Let me get what I want
    Lord knows, it would be the first time
    Lord knows, it would be the first time

    I fuckin love it!

      • I was once on a BA flight to Orlando which was delayed by about eight hours due to ‘technical problems’.
        We’d shelled out to go ‘business’ due to the flight time, and one of the by now wrung out looking attendants brought us drinks. She was a bit frazzled so perhaps less discreet than she would normally have been, and mentioned that Morrissey was ‘up front’ (first class).
        ‘That’s interesting’ I said.
        ‘Yes’ she replied. ‘he’s acting like a pop star’ and as she turned away I heard her mutter under her breath ‘the bastard!’.

      • ‘Siamese Twins’ by The Cure is another belter, DCI.

        https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=mTGrosPg3qw

        I chose an eternity of this
        Like falling angels
        The world disappeared
        Laughing into the fire
        Is it always like this?
        Flesh and blood and the first kiss
        The first colours
        The first kiss
        We writhed under a red light
        Voodoo smile
        Siamese twins
        A girl at the window looks at me for an hour
        Then everything falls apart
        Broken inside me
        It falls apart
        The walls and the ceiling move in time
        Push a blade into my hands
        Slowly up the stairs
        And into the room
        Is it always like this?
        Dancing in my pocket
        Worms eat my skin
        She glows and grows
        With arms outstretched
        Her legs around me
        In the morning I cried
        Leave me to die
        You won’t remember my voice
        I walked away and grew old
        You never talk
        We never smile
        I scream
        You’re nothing
        I don’t need you any more
        You’re nothing
        It fades and spins
        Fades and spins
        Sing out loud
        We all die
        Laughing into the fire
        Is it always like this?
        Is it always like this?
        Is it always like this?

    • Thing is, bands like The Cure, Smiths and Joy Division are not at all depressing to me. Quite the opposite – they’re exhilarating.

      PS: just heard Colin Pitchfork has been re-arrested.

  10. Anything by Nirvana, no wonder Kurt Cobain topped himself. All that pent up angst, self-loathing and of course, the chronic heroin habit.

    A fine nom once again Ron.

  13. For me its anything by Adele or the macerated slowed down covers of classics in adverts. People have the temerity to call the cunts that make this shit ‘stars’. Well in my opinion thats exactly what they should see once they’ve been clubbed over the skull for offences against our ears, and the people that originally composed or sang them.

    Fuck the untalented cunts.

  17. Don’t Look Back in Anger

    Mainly because I associate it with a load of virtue signalling, Islam loving, stupid fucking cunts.

  18. That dreary ballad by slaphead and certified loon Sinead O’Connor. So depressing I can’t even recall the song title.

    She looked pretty fuckable back in the 80s, but definitely a bunny boiler with a bag of chips on her shoulders.

  19. Radiohead were the last ‘quality’ band to chart.

    Has anything remotely interesting happened in mainstream/chart music since?

    If so, I’ve missed it.

    A recent hash-up of Martin, Abraham, and John is the latest wokefest offering.

    What a brilliant song. But now it’s been trashed and hijacked by the BLM mob.

      • Evening Herman.

        The last great band indeed.

        The band in general seems to have given way to mushy and depressing singer songwriters.

  21. And anything by that Ed Sheared-off, or that Nobby Stiles, (and cunts of a similar ilk), is all a bag of crap.

    Fake emotions, eyes closed, microphone right up against their lips, and a few crusty lyrics. Shite.

    That ”Caarsal” On The Hill song by Sheared-off really pisses me off.

    George Ezra with his Shotgun song, and that other sack-of-cac song he did about a cheap LCD watch, also deserves a mention. Absolute drivel.
    Lyrics penned by a five year old. Piffle of the highest order.

    Cole Porter and Irving Berlin must be spinning in their graves.

    And don’t get me started on that Lewis Crapaldi.

    • Bryan Adams “everything I do,I do it for you”
      Hate that shite.
      And anything by Whitney Houston.
      The crackhead cunt.
      These make me depressed.
      But love this!

      https://youtu.be/PtzhvJh9NRY

      The Smiths were a great band!!

      • Evening Miserable.

        Anything by Shitney “crackhead” Houston was truly awful.

        That song from The bodyguard takes some beating for depression.

        🎵 ooh….I wanna dance with some body, I wanna take some crack with somebody. 🎵

      • Evening Dick,
        Yep.
        Just awful wasnt she?
        Truly dire..
        I was the only one whistling at her funeral….😁

  22. Leonard Cohen should be dug up and taken to court of law where he should be made accountable for all the suicides he was directly responsible for.

    • Great tune Dick.
      These rock n roll qu33rs arent fit to lick the cowshit off Johnnys boots.
      A farm boy who picked cotton and became a Superstar.
      Raw talent.

  24. … yeah Bro … that Cuntry n Weztune moosic. Soooo sad! Fuck me them there cowboys n cowchicks? they some right miserable cunts. They ain’t happy ‘less they whiinin’ … Jeez that lot need to chill.
    An what’s that song ‘cotton eye Joe’ ’bout. Yeeefuckinha! 😁

  25. Ron ask your Scottish wife about some tear jerkers from her homeland. Some are a bit depressing but they are also genuinely moving – and will have the tears bucketing down any Scottish face. Jean Redpath singing The Wild Geese, the Corries´ live version of Wild Mountain Thyme and the Ghosts of Culloden by Isla Grant (featured in Outlander incidentally) are among them.

    Others are meant to be sad but are just laughable. It´s a tie between the Alexander Brothers and Sydney Devine´s versions of Nobody´s Child. I reckon they could win gold medals for the worst records ever made.

    • I’d better not mention ‘Nobody’s Child’ Mr P. She’d probably hurl herself through the window, using broken slivers to slash her wrists as she went.
      What really sends her into a total spasm is ‘Flower of Scotland’. In her words; ‘the most miserable pile o’ shite I’ve ever heard in ma life’.

      • One of the most memorable nights of my life was the Homecoming Year when my family who are scattered all over the globe met up in Arisaig in the West Highlands and we all stood around a bonfire on a beach and sang Flower of Scotland. Magic! Mrs K would have been most welcome.

  26. Jeff Buckley

    Now there was a depressed fella.

    Walked into the water with his guitar or something like that and drowned… Or so the story goes.
    Careless twat.

    Hell of a vocalist and guitarist though. His old man Tim was good an all.

  27. What really grinds my gears is when advertising cunts use a song I’ve always liked to shill their product/agenda to the GBP.
    For example ” Perfect Day”, currently being sung by a load of cute kids stood in the middle of a tip.
    Message, save the planet, and do what? Export our discarded crap to the Philippines, perhaps?

  28. I don’t mind melancholic music here and there and have been to a few Radiohead gigs as evidence.

    Problem is some bands or “artists” sing depressed for the sake of it.

    eg. Travis – Why does it always rain on me??
    Maybe because you’re fucking shite pal

    • Thanks JP.
      This one does seem to have worked up a bit of steam.
      I think everybody’s got a miserable song or three that gets their goat.

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