Last Friday afternoon I made a big mistake. Collecting the grandkids, and feeling in a bit of an expansive grandad mood, I said that we could go for lunch, anywhere they wanted.
‘Yaaaahy!’, they chorused, jumping up and down. ‘McDonald’s!’. I was cornered. Never say something to your grandkids and then back out. So off we went to experience the delights of the McDonald’s ‘dining experience’.
Things got off to a great start, with a twenty-five minute wait to get in. There was no one there to take our order. You have to line up again and make your choice from items displayed on a big electronic board, and put in your table number for them to deliver.
Your ‘meal’ duly arrives, looking something like how I imagine prison rations might appear. No knives or forks; you eat with your fingers. Tomato ketchup in little plastic containers, drinks in paper cups or drunk straight from the bottle.
The kids had burgers and ‘fries’. The order board had shown a picture of a chunky burger in a fat bun, with a thick slice of fresh tomato and crispy lettuce. What arrived were flabby, messy concoctions smothered in some sort of goo, with a nasty looking ‘cheese’ slice that bore a distinct resemblance to piece of half-melted plastic. The disparity between the image and the reality was indeed startling. All in boxes with the logo ‘McDonald’s’ emblazoned on the side, lest we forget.
All the time you’re surrounded by fat cunts and their whinging offspring, and unruly bunches of schoolkids acting up. Miserable spotty-faced teenagers in their McD’s prison-like garb slouch about despondently, shifting piles of discarded rubbish from tables and swabbing them down, and sweeping crap up from the floor. ‘Happy to help’ and ‘loving it’ are their mottos, I hear.
Later on I tried to find a McD’s site that I could go on to post my observations. What I did find was a copy of the McD’s ‘mission statement’. Get this, cunters;
‘Our mission is to make delicious, feel-good moments easy. This is how we uniquely feed and foster communities. We serve delicious food that people feel good about eating. We work hard to offer the speed, choice and personalisation our customers expect. We don’t just serve food, we serve moments of feel-good, all with the light-hearted, unpretentious, welcoming, dependable personality our consumers know and love’.
Fucking hell, I’ve heard some shithousing in my time but this takes the biscuit, and there’s plenty more of this ludicrous bombast if anyone can be arsed to look.
The reality is that McD’s is about junk food produced and served in a production line environment, all conforming to the lowest common denominator of ‘service’. It’s all about the sacrifice of care, quality and individuality to drab uniformity, speed, and the maximisation of profit.
Let’s take the knee and bow down to one of the gods of American corporatism. Amen to that.
Nominated by: Ron Knee
In all seriousness:
Take a long look at that header photo-any parent feeding their child on this shite, is guilty of child abuse.
13
You can always tell if somebody has been eating this plastic crap as their farts fucking reek. Vile smell.
6
That’ll be the beer.
3
My sister briefly worked at ‘Maccy Dees’ when she left school in the 80s. She told me it was the worst job ever and that the way they made their ‘food’ was nothing short of disgusting. Apparently almost all McDonald’s management and supervsiors are complete Little Hitler cunts. And what finished it was when she was ordered to sweep the path outside said McDonald’s on Boxing Day. Our kid told the manager to shove the brush up their arse and she never set foot in the shitheap again…
11
A friend of mine’s sister also worked there for a while, and she reckoned that the managers were obsessed with performance; it was ALL about meeting what were sometimes hopelessly unrealistic targets which were set the place. Her manager would stand behind the servers (this was before the time of the self-select boards) and yell at the staff ‘Let me hear it! Who’s next? What can I get you? Chop chop!’.
Sometimes the manager would thow a flaky if there was no customers. I don’t know what the poor slobs on the counter were meant to do; go and drag people in off the streets?
7
The only time I really enjoyed a good burger and fries was at a Five Guys restaurant in deepest Manchester about 4 years ago.
Really tasty burger, fully loaded up and nice baps (Ffnarr!); tasty fries (that weren’t pre-frozen) and a cheese cake for dessert.
A bit on the expensive side but really filling, and the burger almost mirrored what was being advertised
7
The gruesome nadir of the McDonald’s ‘menu’ being the Fillet O’ Fish.
It smells like Madonna’s minge in a heatwave.🤢
13
Never been tempted to order that. Heard a few horror stories.
Even if they arent true i can imagine the smell.
3
I had one recently, I was shopping with granddaughter & her eatery choice was maccies. Dear lord, lots of crust, hardly any actual fish, tasted like a builders insole and the fucking ” bun” that encapsulated this delight!
I don’t have the words.
2
Mc Donald’s big tasty should be renamed the big disgusting. Had one about 11 or 12 years ago. That’s what gives me a pathological hatred of Mc Donald’s.
6
I’ll treat you all.
Happy meals all-round
6
Maccy Dees are the worst of the worst. Always cold, no substance, and fries are usually cold and floppy.
I don’t mind a BK if I’m desperate for a quick meal on the go, not cheap, but at least it has flavour and it feels like you’ve eaten. Fries are good too.
5
When i used to eat this crap in my college days i would suffer a weird crash for about 20 minutes afterward, as if my body were trying to process the sugar and salt.
Fucking weird. Ive never had that apart from eating other crap like doner kebabs.
KFC is another dirty load of shit; extremely salty, greasy and dry.
Buy those breaded mini fillets from M&S. Much cheaper, moist and far less salty.
6
If I eat at McDonald’s I’m guaranteed to suffer from the McGurgles for the rest of the day.
McD’s is for times when there’s basically no alternative.
0
McDonalds restaurants have a uniquely unpleasant and unnatural stench; why this doesn’t deter the masses is a mystery, instead it seems to attract them like flies.
Only a quarter of the packaging they use is available for recycling though they say they are committed to changing this to 100% by 2025. Cunts.
5
What’s the point of it being recyclable if the skum that live on that stuff have no concept of a fucking bin, let alone recycling.
It’s a blight on the planet, and so are the customers.
I’m definitely not loving it.
8
This is so true.
It’s amazing how much McD’s litter you see about, esp. from cunts who get a takeway to eat in their car, and then just heave all the rubbish into the street once they’ve stuffed their fat faces.
Fucking arsewipes.
9
True, you do see McD packaging thrown out of car windows or lying in the street and its absolutely disgusting. Corporate McDonalds are almost no better than their customers having only recently introduced recycling bins in 25% of its restaurants; they’ve been going since 1940 and recycling as a concept wasn’t born yesterday, so they’re sluggish to say the least. I hate throw away packaging; what a monumental waste.
2
One thing I will say tho, they keep the starlings by us well fed. The fat little fuckers seem to spend all their time picking through discarded McD’s rubbish and stuffing discarded chips and bits of bun down their necks.
2
I put the smell down to a combination of the weird oil they fry their chips and nuggets with, and the BO of the obese female managers..
0
Whoever eats this and similar shit deserves all they get. Personally, I hope they all die as quickly as possible.
3
It’s not all bad news JD…
https://www.delish.com/food-news/news/a58231/mcdonalds-healthier-happy-meal-menu-changes/
Nice to know they care about the health of the nation’s children (after all, they wouldn’t want any adverse publicity, would they?).
1
You made it to being a grandfather and you didn’t realise McDonald’s is fucking terrible?
Have you been asleep for 30 years?
1
It’s McDonalds ,what did you expect?
0
In my experience Burger King is far worse. In Spain last time I was there on holiday it was nice, but back in the UK it’s awful. The mayonnaise is worse than the cheapest you can get it. The burger was cold and it made me feel sick afterwards. The one near us is always empty. My mate worked in Manchester in the early 2000s and the staff at the company he worked for were told not to go to one of the KFCs as everyone who went there got sick.
I agree a bit though. The McTasty should be called the McNasty. It has the horrible mayonnaise, and nobody wants a cold burger. I once took in a paper plate so I could have a semi-civilised meal there to the annoyance and embarrassment of my family.
The McChicken sandwich used to be nice when it was in an oval shaped bun (around 1990?) but it is now like a cheap Birds Eye burger in a bap. Managers never give you enough tomato sauce, and Mrs Pillar likes a lot of milk in her tea and they never give enough milk.
A few months ago my daughter found a live caterpillar in her salad which we returned. The sceptical assistant ran away when she saw it wriggling in the box and left it with the manager to deal with! They bagged it up, took down the details and said there would be an enquiry at their distribution centre. She hasn’t had anything from McDonalds since then.
McDonalds: I could well do without it.
1
My son is an award-winning chef.
Do I eat at McDonald’s unless it’s totally unavoidable?
1
‘shithousing.’ 😂😂
1