Cycle lanes are sodding everywhere. They’re spreading like wildfire and are a complete cunt, especially those that have a barricade between the lane and the rest of the road.
I understand that they’re intended to encourage ‘green transport’ (not that our local lycra loonies need encouraging) but they seem to me to be a waste of time and money. Around our way they increase congestion whilst at the same appear largely unused, given that local cyclists either travel on the outside of the lane anyway, or race along on their traditional track known as ‘the pavement’. In short, they seem to be good for fuck all other than providing a repository for litter and a superb space for dog owners to let their mutts shit in.
By way of illustration, let me refer cunters to the idiocy of Nottingham County Council, which is being derided for wasting taxpayers’ money on the provision of what is probably the most pathetically useless cycle lane of all time.
I dunno about ‘Cunt of the Year’, but this has got to be worthy of a special ‘Cunt of the Week’ award as far as these jobsworths are concerned.
Now don’t get me started again on speed bumps…
Nominated by: Ron Knee
Lycra deviants everywhere.
One bumped me on a country lane,
Spitting and shouting abuse.
I ignored him,
He was clearly a cyclepath.
24
Cyclists have always been cunts.The explosion of the Green agenda has made them even more pious and self righteous.I used to cycle a lot but hate cyclists generally.Cunts.
The article is just virtual signalling at its finest.Those or many of us have been warning of this madness for years on here.All coming to its natural conclusion.Overiding infiltrated government virtue signalling woke agenda crack down on individual freedom speech and human rights, everything working less productively to the point of systems failures across society.Also now MPs and children can be butchered by Islamists while literally everyone else is blamed but them.We are at the top of the rollercoaster and the descent is hell cunters.Buckle up .
16
https://www.thestar.co.uk/business/tenter-street-busy-rush-hour-road-in-sheffield-set-to-be-dramatically-narrowed-for-cycle-lane-3417455
We’ve been experiencing this level of cuntitude for years. So much of our city centre has been blocked to normal traffic. It’s an utter joke.
The older population do not ride bikes, the younger generation steal bikes, both pedal and petrol, and ride them wherever the fuck they feel like, and they spend money on this abortion to allow them to evade the traffic cops. That’s if they’re not to busy eating Haribo and painting rainbows to go out on patrol.
10
And you know what is really fucking annoying, the cunt on the bike isn’t even using the cycle lane!
12
Are cyclists riding in the road where the is a cycle lane fair game?
8
Yes, absolutely!
9
Yes.
3
That is normal behaviour.
1
Wherever you’ve got Labour or Lib Dumb councils you have millions blown away on this shit as they all try to out virtue signal each other.
Of course none of these wankers can hold a candle to His Cuntship Suckdick Khunt, King of the greenies, the BAMES, the poofs, the feminazis, the trannies, the anti Trumpers, the remoaners……in fact, everything except doing the job he’s fucking paid for.
If you want to know how to fuck up any city or town then Suckdick is your man.
16
Councils don’t seem to have considered the increased width of cars these days. It only takes two SUV’s passing from opposing directions and it’s akin to squeezing the road in a vice.
Saying that, if it means a hobby cyclist is catapulted into the verge, then maybe that’s not such a bad thing…
15
MMS, I believe anyone who is daft enough to cycle on public roads should be able to do so, as long as they don’t mind being forced into a ditch or hedge, or the wheels of another vehicle.
Buy a stationary bike, you know it makes sense. If you want to compete, subscribe to that Pelton crap.
I think DCI has probably had to scrape a few up, and would agree with that.
10
Just a few, and, with the exception of one, all were in some way responsible for their own downfall. The cunts.
5
I wonder how many councillors, senior civil servant, MPs, celebs, ministers and other cycle-pushing-agenda cunts actually use a bike full time, and not just for 10 minutes for a media photoshoot?
13
My guess, one.
7
Why was the black Tarmac scare of the red Tarmac. Because the Red Tarmac was a psychopath. I’ll get me coat………….
5
“a superb space for dog owners to let their mutts shit in.”….that’s not dog shit..it’s mine.
19
Thank you, DF-F, a little light relief.
8
Every little ‘elps!
Do your bit, and shit on a cycle lane today.
An the cunts still cycle on the pavements…
5
I consider myself in good mental health,
Level headed and fair.
But I always get a urge to hit & run cyclists.
Drive over them leaving them in a pile of mangled bicycle and broken limbs.
Cackling and headbanging to AC/DC in the van
Sniggering as I look back in my mirror seeing twitching lycra spread across the road .
Does anyone else have similar fantasies?
And does this make me a bad person?
Race isnt a factor!!
Id happily kill a whitey as a filthy Stanley or flipperlips.
Im not racist in my blood lust.
An equal opportunities murderer. Very level headed and fair. Carry on – NA.
17
I am actually suprised that one of the ‘Insulate Britain’ crowd hasn’t been run over yet.. They have come close.
Yeah how to make our campaign popular? How to get normal people on your side?
I know lets get up in the morning just at rush hour with all the commuters trying to get to work on time (after getting the kids ready and struggling with them to eat their breakfat) and they’ve already suffered long bouts of waiting because of roadworks and congestion.
Yes that’s it and just when their piss is boiling to the absolute Max we will plonk ourselves down in front of them.
That will make them think.
And after they have thought for a while (lorry engines screaming, beeping horns) they will come to see the error of their ways and will be converted to our side.
10
One of my most enduring fantasies Mis. A game I enjoy when I have managed to get past them is to put the clutch down letting the revs drop to tickover for a few seconds, then in a low gear loose the left pedal and right pedal down to the floor. Particularly good fun in a diesel if you time it right; check your mirror and you may see them enveloped in a black cloud. Almost laugh my bollocks off!
4
Cycle lanes may be OK in new towns where roads have been planned for their inclusion.
However, most towns and cities have historic roads that simply don’t have the capacity for cycle (and bus) lanes.
There isn’t sufficient space for this type of extravagance.
Either way, cycling cunts should be made to take some sort of test, they should have to pay some tax for using the roads and they must have insurance.
Taking a flimsy, lightweight bike onto the cities streets without any training necessary, and wearing just a ridiculous hat for protection is not a very good idea.
You think that you have problems in the UK?
I have to drive for my work tomorrow.
Being a weekend I will come across hundreds of these lycra wearing cunts riding at a snail’s pace on the many steep hills.
They will be up to 6 abreast.
The average age of these fuckers will be around 60, but they all dress up and act as if they are in training for La Vuelta.
9
What I certainly don’t appreciate is those flashing LED lamps. They burn my retinas.
It’s like having my face slammed up against a fucking lighthouse.
10
Because I’m a curious person, I looked up La Vuelta. Cycle race, similar to the Tour de France. Wonder if they’ll be doing a stretch in the UK, now we’re no longer in the EU? Actually, I don’t care.
Anyway, I’ve concluded you live in Spain. Hope that’s working out OK.
3
Fine thanks JP.
I’ve been here for 20 years or so.
I still care about the UK and I am not one of the many Brits here that slag the country off.
The only way that I could move to Spain was due to the money that I earned in England.
It was a great place and still is, to some degree.
Over the past several years La Vuelta has used a route that passes the end of my road.
I have no idea why people line the streets to see these cyclists.
They go past at such a speed that if you blink you would miss them.
Those guys are athletes. If you come across one of them while they are out training, you would have a problem overtaking them, but for an entirely different reason!
5
Good for you, Art. Wish I’d had the courage 10 years ago.
2
This relates back to the Brexit nom JP.
The UK really had to leave the EU, for all the reasons already stated.
But instead of slowing down immigration Britain has managed to speed things up.
It seems that there are more economic migrants arriving there than there was before Brexit.
I know many people like you that had plans to move abroad, mainly to retire but some to live and work.
There are probably many more that now just want to escape.
The option has now been taken from them.
You can’t just sell up and move to Spain (or any other EU country) as you once could.
You need significant money in a Spanish bank, an income and private health insurance before you can go through the new, protracted process of trying to get a residencia to enable you to stay here for more than 3 months in any 6 month period.
Brits that have owned homes here for decades cannot stay or move here full time without the correct documentation.
Basically, one escape route from the ever more frustrating UK has been shut.
3
Mr Priest, the only stretch in the UK you need to beware of is the one that Sir Wiggins (the cunt that started this madness) rode some years ago.
By some unfortunate alignment of the stars, I happen to both live and work on that route.
Sixty miles a day, five days a week I have to restrain myself from committing the unthinkable.
3
Call me JP. We’re all friends here MMC.
Perhaps you could share where this place is?
3
MMS, soz Marcus
2
Dorking, Surrey. Highest density of lycra in the UK.
2
Oh dear, you have my deepest sympathy.
2
Cyclists should do CBT style training – I really don’t know why it isn’t compulsory. They should probably pay to use the roads as well, even if its only £10 a year.
2
Cyclists, no insurance, no tax, no MOT, but some cunt flying along at 25 mph can do a lot of damage. No training or licence required.
What the fuck are they doing on the roads!
When they start paying their way maybe they can have a few cycle lanes as long as they don’t interfere with cars, vans and trucks.
Cunts
8
This is exactly what I was going to say. These CUNTS pay nothing towards the upkeep of the roads, yet get preferential treatment. And, by forcing drivers off the roads there will be less revenue for maintenance.
Talking of which, my local council has blamed climate change for a nearby road closure, which was of course fuck all to do with them not clearing the drains regularly, allowing a blockage to create a minor landslide in the last (but hardly unexpected) downpour.
Cunts.
10
‘Climate change’ is the new Brexit when it comes to cunts looking for an excuse to blame something on.
5
We get cyclists using the A 30 dual carriageway. Should be a bounty on these cunts. One happy memory was driving home cyclists riding 4 abrest. Ol Cunty drove at the bastards, it was a narrow lane. Soon got out the way. Fucking arsewipes.
8
Why are honest van drivers like me not allowed defensive measures against these lycra clad wasps?
These two wheeled terrorists?!!
Maybe a porthole and small cannon that fires rocksalt and roofing nails?
Spearpoints on wheels?
A flailing chain?
Thats whats wrong with this bloody country!
Not enough defensive weaponry.
9
Motorize a Roman Chariot. Miz. You could claim you were on the way to a re-enactment of the Icenai v Romans.
6
Remember how Battle of Britain pilots used to paint a little swastika on the side of the cockpit when they bagged a Hun?
I look forward to the day when white van man can legally paint a little cycle ensignia beneath the driver’s side window…
9
I’m a car driver, motorcyclist and cyclist. I love going out on my bicycle and motorbike, but not the car so much. Yes, cyclists can be cunts, as can motorcyclists and car drivers. A cunt is a cunt, whatever the mode of transport. Saying that, I don’t take the Triumph out on a Sunday as it’s too dangerous with al the cyclists riding like wankers.
4
You should be allowed a sword at least.
5
There are mongs who cycle on the pavement anyway. Kids are bad enough, but you sort of expect it from the little cunts. But when I clock adults – grown men and women – riding their bikes at speed on the pavement, I want to kick them off. An old lady with a shopping trolley was nearly floored by one of these retards with their bike on the pavement when the cunt should have been cycling on the road.😒
12
Norman, they ride motorcycles, scooters, off road bikes, quads, you name it, they drive it on the footpath, usually persued by at least 3 cars with sirens and lights.
It’s absolutely delightful, as we dive for cover over the nearest fence.
5
A mong on a cycle would be a piece of piss. He’d get my walking stick across his windpipe as he passed.
9
I once saw a group of about 15 gaylords cycling stark bollock naked in Brighton (where else?).
Obviously it was all for charidee so that’s ok then.
It’s funny how you can tell that a bloke is a bummer even when he’s saying nothing and has no clothes on.
NB…. I mean other than when he is chasing you with a fucking great stalk on.
10
FOR SALE.
15 bicycle saddles.
Only used once.
Slightly soiled.
Sensible offers only.
5
I imagine that Fat Reg would be eager to put an offer in for those.
He eats da poo poo you know.
5
Reminds me of that old Jim Davidson joke:
“I was cycling home from work the other night, when I saw this naked young woman, standing outside a house.
I stopped and asked her what was up?
“Got locked out-me spare key is a few streets away, at me sisters.”
“Ere’ sit on me crossbar an I’ll get you round there in no time!”
After a few minutes of cycling, she says: “Ere’ you ain’t very observant are ya? Can’t you see I’m naked?”
To which I replied: “Neither are you, this is a ladies bike!”
👍
16
That cunt in the picture? Herpes of the fucking road. Fucking vermin.
5
Councils are infested with total cunts. So much for the (Marxist) dream of devolved power and local power makes sense – no it doesn’t. All you get is arseholes in charge and the rest of us are too busy to do anything about it.
Then there was Boris’ edict last year to put in Covid pop up cycle lanes and they were actually called ‘Covid Cycle Pop Up Lanes’ – when I saw those in my local town I thought I was in a bad David Icke dream. Thankfully my town got rid of them.
5
Those fucking things have caused chaos by Big City hospital as the main road we use has one, narrowing the road either side, so when we’re blueing a patient in, were stuck as the other vehicles have nowhere to pull over to.
2
I cunted these things last year on here and complained to my local council about the dangers. I think I live in a county of well off old whingers so luckily they’ve gone.
Only a total mong cunt would put these in, narrowing traffic and stopping bloody ambulances going about their business. I hope you and your colleagues have politely complained because if people do nothing, nothing happens. But then we are dealing with councils so expecting something good to happen is perhaps asking for a bleeding miracle.
2
Your first paragraph, gin clear, stone cold truth Cuntologist. Local councils are composed of people who are in it for their own selfish reasons. Some of them just like a bit of power, it turns them on. Some of them are simply there because they are bored, they may be retired and have nothing better to do. Some of them are looking after their own; for instance in our area the top man’s son is in charge of transport. Some of them are there for financial advantage, e.g. the well known example of builders and/or estate agents on the planning committee.
My dear departed mother knew a local councillor personally, he was a gobby cretin with an IQ of about 80. On the one occasion I wanted to speak to my local councillor I was advised to attend his local surgery at a set time one evening in the week. I arrived to find a crowd of people with the same time to attend and was advised by one of the councillor’s flunkies that if I didn’t get to see him I should try again same time in subsequent weeks. I never saw him. Pleased to hear a little while later he was in trouble for fiddling his expenses.
5
I love that expression ‘gin clear’, arfurbrain. I will adopt that one if you don’t mind!
Its true about the personas you mention, very, very true.
2
Don’t mind at all CL, feel free! It’s a bit arcane, popular amongst pilots.
2
I like to get level with cyclists, get the passenger window down and shout, “If you’d worked harder in life, you would probably have a car by now,.”….
6
I’m a cyclist since small
I hate about 60% of other cyclists today, as they think they have a god given right of way
When I got my first racing bike , I trained with the old school racers in an industrial state. 1970s
You quickly learned what was acceptable practice , and when riding home through traffic it was single file and just about avoiding the kerb where all the shit is that gives you punctures
I’ve no time for the poseurs that infest the streets nowadays, there fucking arrogant cunts the lot of them
I’ve never freaked out on a motorist even when they might be at fault
I’ve had a few hoppers in my day but most were my misjudgment or someone else’s
You will always recognize a proper cyclist even on a high nelly
12
As a youngster, from aged ten until I was sixteen and got a motorbike, I cycled the 10 miles to and from school every day. That’s 100 miles a week.
I still cycled to work 16 miles a day.
This was over the Cumbrian fells.
No real traffic (avoiding tourist routes), a pleasure and it made me as fit as a butchers dog😉
If the roads were made properly safe for cyclists, like Holland, childhood obesity would be massively reduced.
At the moment, many of these new cycle routes are dangerous for cyclists and motorists.
On Thursday, 6.30 am and turning right on a roundabout, a wimminz, head to foot in black Lycra, headphones and black baseball cap, ran out in front of me, then proceeded to run down the middle of the fucking road. Semi-rural. She had a flashing light strapped to her back!!!
Pavements either side and still she ran down the middle of the road.
I think lockdown has given birth to a far more dangerous cunt!
🤔
15
Sounds like a cunt who is desperate for attention. There’s a lot of them about these days.
It’s yer mental elf innit?
11
Those fucking head phones iPods cunts CG
You need all your senses on the the road whether cycling motoring or even jogging
It’s paramount that you are aware of what is behind you and hearing is that sense of senses
4
Seconded.
I had a scary incident about a year back, went temporarily deaf for about a fortnight. I never realised how important hearing was, just walking 5 mins to local shops. Twats that wear headphones when out and about deserve everything they get. They won’t hear Dick shouting a friendly warning before he unleashes his blunder buss…
7
That was the good old days CG, hardly any traffic. I used to cycle from South to North London just for the heck of it when I was 14, circa 1983, listening to The Smiths on my Sony Walkman! More like a dangerous SAS mission going to London these days, no matter what mode of transport. (Rapists, muggers, stabbers, acid attackers, pick pockets, angry mentals, beggars – that’s just people on the pavement, buses or tubes, never mind the actual roads!)
Thankfully moved away to the sticks; far less loons and luckily very few Sunday lycra twats on my local 60 mph roads but I have noticed a few more in the last couple of years.
6
Wouldn’t just love to sniff this lady’s saddle tho?
https://celebjihad.com/demi-moore2/demi-moore-shows-her-big-hairy-bush
3
That photo does it for me Ron. Just love the natural ones.
2
Twice in one day!
You really are spoiling us Ron😀
Gotta love “Gimme” More👍
2
It fair makes my mouth water I can tell you.
0
Fucking pushbikes.
That’s what they were always known as.
Men and Women like me had no choice but to self- propel these contraptions thousands of miles a year, – back ‘int day.
No engine, loads of effort, I hated them,- still do.
I used to pushbike eight miles to work and eight miles back again, it was awful. Dreadful in fact.
I felt like the boy in the Hovis Advert.
When I scraped together enough cash I brought a James Cadet 98cc.
It was as slow. But it felt like a revelation at the time.
Why the fuck anyone would want to go back to the 1940’s/50’s and pushbike to work is beyond me.
Unless you live and work in a city that is snarled up with traffic maybe?
Fucking Virtue signalling Luddites.
Mind you, recently I’ve seen a few fat cheating fuckers going up Winnat’s Pass on those E bikes.
These heart attack on two wheels types aren’t fooling anyone, – not even an old cunt like me.
Fuck old fashioned manpower and this electricary bollocks on two wheels. Embrace the internal combustion engine. It’s been around 130 years, it’s served us all well, and long may it continue.
7
Remember well experiencing that same revelation Dick, more than half a century ago. Still on two wheels but just turned the twist grip and moved forward without any pain!
Christ, I’m old!
3
They ain’t push bikes anymore dickvan, more like peddle easy
You might have to spend around a grand to get a light urban town bike and once you have your bike balance back (about four cycles)
you will realize what a freedom it is
Just don’t be a twat and think you can go fast
Cycle at the pace of your heart and you’ll 😍
3
Jesus Dick,
Imagine cycling up winnats pass?!!
What sort of sick mind wants to do that?!!!
Fuck that.
Seen em myself, but cant fathom it.
What do they have for dessert?
Brick to the bollocks?
3
Yes, fuck the Winnat’s on a pushbike MNC.
I’d rather cycle up the crumbly old Mam Tor road.
It amuses me that someone thought it was a good idea to build the Mam Tor road. Lots of other people must have been pissed off with the Winnat’s at the time.
I remember the road was constantly shut or being patched-up. It always had a hideous camber on it between Blue John and the bottom bend and cracks in the tarmac.
Must have been shut 40 ish years now.
The Winnat’s lives on into eternity!
2
Thanks to the marxist confection that is net zero the fucking push-bike will be the only viable means of transport for most people by the end of the decade. Everyone will feel like the kid in the House ad except that bread will be considered a luxury and the cobblestones will have all been ripped up for stoning infidels.
1
Hovis ad ffs
1
As a highway engineer for a north London Borough all I can say is that we spent around £40 million quid from Boris, when he was London Mayor, on this shite.
About 5 years of starting this fucking abomination of a scheme we have narrowed traffic lanes, built out bus stops, created cycle lanes, most of which go over the pavement at a bus stop where the cyclist can run over the people getting off the bus. Apart from the dead bus travellers, the main problems are: traffic can’t pass a bus when it pulls up at a stop and there are about only THREE FUCKING CYCLIST A DAY THAT USE THESE FUCKING CYCLE LANES. What a complete waste of fucking money!
10
But Boris, the cunt, was way ahead of you, he knew he was going to screw everyone with net zero and the UCE would be a thing of the past
2
ICE, internal combustion engine FFS. Sorry cunters I’m new here and still getting the hang of it.
3
Yes, I see folks whizzing round on these new pushbikes.
Next door neighbour goes out on one. He says I’ve been here, I’ve been there, – and I say you’ve done all that this morning!?
The painful memories of those old bikes that weighed a hundredweight are still etched in my memory.
My knees have had it now, so no more self-propulsion for me now Mecuntry. I struggle walking any distance now. I think I would kill myself on an Ebike Arfurbrain. I’ve always been the type to drive/ride things as fast as they will go. I have stopped driving at 100 mph plus because my eyesight isn’t the best, and quite frankly at that speed I was a danger to the public.
I’m sure the modern bike is so far advanced in comparison to the 3 speed Sturmey Archer geared heaps I remember.
I had a Sunbeam bike with a oil bath chain-case.
Completely sealed and the chain ran in oil.- it leaked and I remember my dad telling me to keep it topped up otherwise the chain would wear away!
4
Understand Dickvan ,but the funny thing is cycling is good for the knees and hips and general torso, if taken lightly and not stressing the body to the limits ( don’t push just peddle lightly)
It will oil that chain forever more
4
I have a decent bike and go out on it a few times a year but think all of these cycle lanes are a complete and utterly WASTE OF MONEY.
I have friends and a brother-in-law that are professional cyclists. Commuters and racers. None of these cunts use these cycle lanes because they are too slow.
5